Advice: First MCAT this Friday, friend died this weekend

[bannannas]

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Need some advice. I'm supposed to take the MCAT in a few days (5/20) but one of my friends committed suicide this weekend and I'm having a lot of difficulty focusing. It's seriously impacted my studying (and I needed to cram more than I hoped to this week) but I'm also concerned I just won't be able to make it through the whole exam - I haven't been able to study more than a couple hours at a time without crying or needing to collect my thoughts.
She wasn't a super close friend but she was certainly close enough, I'd known her for a few years and she was very close with my tight friend group so this weekend has been pretty torturous watching my best friends be utterly devastated. I have to miss her funeral for the exam and I feel like I can't handle this but I keep being told I can't waste all that I've worked for, that she was supportive of my goals and would have wanted me to do well, that I'm doing this to help people not have to be in the dark place she was in.

I haven't taken the exam before, I planned to 4/1 but didn't feel prepared enough so I moved my date. I still don't feel prepared enough, I know I could do a lot better if I waited another month or so, but I really wanted to send my applications in the first week of June.
I have a decent application - 3.71 cGPA, 3.68 sGPA, 3.81 mGPA great recommendations, 2+ years of shadowing a physician at an inner city clinic (and doing pt services work for them throughout), no lab research (outside classroom, obviously), did a competitive three-year public health scholars BS program, studied public health for a semester in India, feel good about my personal statement, lots of volunteer work, no clubs or societies or anything. I took this year as a gap year to work (pay for these damn things...), study for my MCAT, and improve my mental health after dealing with major depression myself. Unfortunately the latter dominated most of the year, so my MCAT studying doesn't feel entirely complete yet (will it ever though?).

I've been planning on submitting my app as early as possible this whole year, but now that this happened I can't help but think I might need to wait. Is it a mistake to postpone my exam again (if even possible) and wait to submit my apps in July?

My current plan is to take the exam this Friday, only void if I really mess up (I'm really nervous I'll get overwhelmed and begin to cry or just not be able to think clearly enough to perform to my ability), submit my apps in June as planned, and then retake the exam in July and hope I'm not rejected before those scores reach my schools. Does that seem like the best plan?
I'm at such a loss. I wish so badly I didn't have the exam this week. I've put SO much weight on it all year, I kind of can't stand the idea of having to continue preparing (I just want it done at this point), but I also know another few weeks of studying would really make a difference in my score. My last practice test was a 505. I've done a ton of content review since then, but no other tests (I was planning on taking one this weekend but tragedy struck). I felt confident I could bump up to 510 by test day, which is still not the score I want but I felt ok about it. Now I'm not so confident. I'm scared I won't even be able to pull a 505. I'm taking a FL tomorrow to try and gauge where I'm at now.

Would it be worth it to postpone again, so I only have one, solid score on an app submitted in July, or should I submit in June as planned to get as much of an advantage as possible?

 

[italiancowgirl]

Don't do it!!! Whoever is telling you to muscle through is doing a huge discredit to the process, and your emotions! Postpone or reschedule to another date asap! If you can not cancel altogether. You shouldn't feel that much need to cram anyways, so postponing may have been in the cards anyway.

Make the first time you take the mcat be the last time you take the mcat. The test isn't going anywhere and neither is med school.

Also, focus right now on your mental health, this tragedy and then later you can worry about the mcat. If you need to wait a year, it will be fine, I promise. If you wait a few weeks, take the test and rock it you can decide then if you want to hit submit on your apps or wait for the next round. You are dealing with a big thing right now, so just take it one step at a time.

 

[0dee]

First of all, my condolences to you and the family of the girl.

It's not worth it to take the mcat if your mental health is at risk. You need to take care of yourself first, then everything else follows. This tragedy that has hit your life is not easy, and of course it's not worth it to go through such a decisive moment in your premed career while you're grieving.

I am not familiar with the cutoff dates for rescheduling the test, but if you can't cancel / reschedule it then definitely void it.

Best of luck to you.

 

[TehTeddy]

I agree with the above posters. Obviously the death of your friend is a huge blow, and you want to take the MCAT when you're ready. Rushing to take it is a risky proposition. Especially during grieving and while you're already scoring lower than optimal.

Check out this page: https://students-residents.aamc.org...ool/article/2015-mcat-registration-deadlines/
To see if you can reschedule. If you cannot, better to void the exam.

Also not to take away from what you're going through emotionally, but..
If you have an extra month or two to study, definitely fit in more practice tests and less content review. I would say try to exclusively focus on testing in this period- I'm sure you've done enough reviewing.

Good luck with everything.

 

[Cookiess]

I think you should wait to take the MCAT. That'd be tough for anyone to deal with, not to mention right before an important exam like the MCAT. I would take as much time as you think you need and get back to MCAT studying when you feel ready. Don't rush the MCAT. If you can't get a test date until July, you may have to apply during the following application cycle since it'd be later in the application cycle at that point. I think the most important thing right now is to get yourself into a good spot before you tackle the MCAT.

 

[futuremdforme]

Something like this happened to me with a different standardized exam. I ended up doing 20 percentile points lower on one section than every single practice I took. I would postpone. I'm sorry about your friend.