Advice on how to withdraw professionally (somewhat unique situation)....

[theproffer]

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Was wondering if anyone had some advice on how I can withdraw my application gracefully from a school I recently committed to due to the April 30th deadline. To give some background, in mid-April I brought down my acceptances to the school I most wanted to attend (School A). Since School A wanted me to do a rotation in June, I began working with the PD on setting up rotation interviews as well as getting together the paper work for health insurance, stipend, etc. In all honesty based on my correspondence with my top school (School B), it did not sound like holding on hope of getting on the waitlist was worth it, which is why I went ahead and planned as if I was attending School A, a great school just not my top choice. Yesterday I got the call from School B that they had accepted me to the program, which I couldn't be more excited about, however I feel awful that the PD of School A has gone through all this work to help me get set up and now I will be leaving for another school. As an aside, the only paper work I have signed is the acceptance letter, and I have not agreed to do a rotation with any investigator at this point. This was suppose to be arranged in two weeks.

I guess my question is how would you approach this situation of delivering this unpleasant news? Is an email sufficient or should I call? Regardless this will probably burn a bridge at School A, but I also have to make the decision that is best for me (School B).

Also as an aside to those on waitlists, don't give up hope, I imagine there are people in my exact situation so spots may open up quickly. Appreciate the help!

 

[gutonc]

To start off, I'm having a hard time which of these 2 places you actually want more than the other. School A is the one you "most wanted to attend" while School B is your "top school". I assume you understand the cognitive dissonance that this induces.

So I'll just pretend that "Top School" > "School I Most Wanted to Attend" for the purposes of replying to you. But note that you kind of sprained my brain and my answer may therefore not be that helpful.

If you've actually gotten into School B, who cares if you burn a bridge at School A? Are you worried that somehow the director the MSTP program at School A is going to torpedo your future chances of matching or getting a faculty job at that school? Because if that's your concern, forget it. The likelihood that he'll remember you, still be around (or alive) in the 10-20 year time frame in which this would be an issue asymptotically approaches zero (any time after about next February). So forget it.

If you're worried about hurting his feelings or coming off as rude, just be nice about it and be done. I promise he doesn't really care that much about you.

Also, this same PD at School A (who you're worried about upsetting) was making you jump through extra hoops to gain admission...F*** that S*** (if you'll pardon my French).

Your email goes like this:
"Dear Dr. School A PD,
Thanks for setting up an extra rotation for me but I've decided to accept a position at another institution."

That's it. Move on. The End

 

[theproffer]

I apologize for the cryptic original post, but very much appreciate the advice. PD got a little angrier than I anticipated but as you said it doesn't really matter in the long run.

 

[smithers12]

I apologize for the cryptic original post, but very much appreciate the advice. PD got a little angrier than I anticipated but as you said it doesn't really matter in the long run.

No harm done. You've made your apologies. There are 10 people on the waitlist for every person that drops out.

It's always surprising to me to find a disgruntled PD. The commitment you are making is nearly a decade long. You shouldn't settle for anything less than the best fit for you.

 

[Fencer]

I rather lose an incoming applicant in early May than 2 years later... absolutely! Best for the student and best for the program. I applaud your guts to make this decision.