Affording an engagement ring

[fozzy40]

I'm planning to propose to my GF by graduation (June 1st) and don't know jack about how to purchase a ring. I am looking to spend about $10 to 15K (i think ) I will not be having any help paying for the ring and I'm going to need to take out another loan. Any advice or things I need to think about while going through the process? Much appreciated....

fozzy40

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[bkpa2med]

You must be nuts man to spend $10k - $15k. I don't know if you have a BJ's wholesale club near you but near me they sell engagement rings that are valued at 150% guaranteed than what you pay for it. If you spend about $4-$5k you will get a ring valued $10-12k. And btw, they are massive because I'm looking for one in the future as well.

Definitely check it out or fly out to NJ and save yourself a ton of money.

 

[fozzy40]

As you can see, I am pretty naive about this stuff. I am going based off a ring I customized off of bluenile.com. Are you taking out a loan to pay for the ring?

 

[etf]

As you can see, I am pretty naive about this stuff. I am going based off a ring I customized off of bluenile.com. Are you taking out a loan to pay for the ring?

i'm sorry, but taking out a loan to buy a ring is one of the stupidest things you could do. trust me, your future wife probably doesn't want you to head down the road of fiscal irresponsibility, especially since you'll be heading down that road together. get something you can afford - after all, in this case at least, it really is the thought that counts.

 

[roo]

I agree with etf that taking out a loan on a 15K ring that can't afford probably isn't the best financial idea.
But everyone has their own way, and I don't know fozzy's total financial situation. If you want to go that route, some considerations:

-You might want to consider the antique market. Jewelery is a common thing that is run through dedicated high-end jewelry auctions, and well at a auction if there is no shilling going on, what you pay is the market value. You can always then customize the piece a bit to what you want. I'd recommend good auctioneers though that have return policy if item not as listed in the sale.

-If for some reason you are ever in a retail sale of a new ring at a jewelry store, by all means just ask the person for a heavy discount as if they were running a yard sale or something. The markups are very high, and the salespeople will give the heavy discounts to move the jewelry since they are making money to sell it even if it is only a fraction of what is on it as long as the customer asks.

 

[mshheaddoc]

My husband proposed to me with a small ring that he found the diamond from another ring a friend of his mom's was selling and just bought the setting. The expectation is once he's an attending I get a bigger ring, well at least that is what I'm expecting j/k (or am I? )

I have to say you are crazy for paying that much for a ring, esp off bluenile.com. You are getting ripped off by paying retail as mentioned. If you want to find a ring you need to find the areas near you where you have "jewelers row". Like in Philly, New York, etc.

But if you really need to get a ring make sure you are paying at least half to 3/4 of the appraised value (to be considered a good deal), you can take out a private loan to cover the amount. Usually 10-15K isn't that hard to get but you have to check with your lender. It will also depend on your credit score at what type of rate you are getting.

I would really suggest searching for a better deal. bluenile.com is EXTREMELY expensive. They are charging you 10-15K for a 2 carot diamond and it is WAY overrated. A few flaws in a right WILL NOT HURT YOU as you can't see it. I found a few places that you could get a ring for $5-8K and have it appraised for $15-20K. Diamonds are worth alot more than what you can sell them for (if you know what you are looking for and aren't a naive diamond hunter) .... those sites like bluenile.com are searching for the people who don't know any better and sell you it at retail price instead of wholesale price.

 

[Miami_med]

I got my wife's ring through a jewler who got it from an estate sale. I was young and poor (instead of the not as young, but still poor that I am now). She gets positive comments on it ALL THE TIME, and I paid about $250 (That really is one zero). Of course, it's only about 1/5 carat, so your future fiance would have to be okay with that. I can tell you that if she actually understands your finances and loves you, that a small ring will mean just as much.

At this point in your life, debt for things you don't need = bad idea.

 

[The White Coat Investor]

I got married just before med school. I think I spent something like $2500 on a ring appraised at $5K.

The usual rule of thumb is to spend 2 months salary. I think I was making about $1000 a month during the summers as an undergrad, so that was about what I spent. My wife still gets lots of comments on it.

I don't know where you're at in life, but $15K seems like a lot to me. Your wife might appreciate you spending $3K, taking her to Europe for 2 weeks, and buying her a good used car instead. I know mine would have.

 

[typhoonegator]

That sounds a bit expensive to me as well. I bought an engagement ring for my wife in my fourth year of medical school, and basically just lived really lean for several months until I had about $5,000 of uncle Stafford's money saved up from my loans.

Whatever you do, RESEARCH before you buy. All rings are a trade-off, and you may find that the things that make a ring more expensive really aren't things that you notice very much. I actually bought my diamond from BlueNile as well, because I found that I was paying less for the internet diamond due to the lack of sales tax, than I would have on Jeweler's Row in Chicago, where the diamond was cheaper but tax made it more expensive.

 

[IceMan0824]

I am looking to spend about $10 to 15K (i think )

fozzy40

Will you like to marry me instead?


Lots of good advice already given, so I don't think I'll add anymore. Good Luck, and post a picture of the engagement ring, or engagement ring to-be so we can all marvel at the wonderful 'C's.

 

[dpmd]

Whatever you end up doing, get the thing insured. My husband proposed to me with a beautiful ring and I lost it less than a month later (stupid, yes I know, but I wasn't used to wearing a ring). He bought it with a credit card that only covered stolen property (and we weren't willing to lie). He still wanted to marry me though, which was good. We shopped at a wholesale shop and ended up with a very nice one for under $2000. I figured since I lost the first one I would go with a smaller diamond, but I get compliments all the time (and it goes well with my thin fingers). He has offered to upgrade it a few times, but now I'm kinda attached to it.

If your girl is decent she won't mind a smaller ring (if she does mind, maybe she is not the kind of person you want to marry).

 

[Apollyon]

The usual rule of thumb is to spend 2 months salary.

I laugh at that now, because $25K rings are NUTS! They look like you'd need to hire someone to carry it around.

 

[Stroganoff]

If your girl is decent she won't mind a smaller ring (if she does mind, maybe she is not the kind of person you want to marry).

I laugh at that now, because $25K rings are NUTS! They look like you'd need to hire someone to carry it around.

Paris Hilton's $1M ring makes me hurl (one of many things).

 

[mshheaddoc]

$25K is only 2-3 carats? That's not that much these days ...

 

[fozzy40]

Thanks to those who gave constructive criticism. I will make sure to keep you posted

 

[mammohead]

check out
www.pricescope.com
and educate yourself before you buy anything...

 

[TMP-SMX]

Thanks to those who gave constructive criticism. I will make sure to keep you posted

I suggest you don't spend more than 5k. You can get really nice three stone rings from Costco or something like that with 1.5 total carats for under 5k. I suggest that you don't buy it from the big name places on the internet because there is no negotiating at that point. If you do buy online, make sure it is certified with one of the major institutes.

And do not take out a loan. Save money and work for it, but don't take out a loan for that purpose. I'm in the same situation as you. I'm saving up more and more. I hope I'll have enough by the end of this summer. I probably won't, so I will have enough by next summer. How long have you been together?Good luck!

 

[fozzy40]

I suggest you don't spend more than 5k. You can get really nice three stone rings from Costco or something like that with 1.5 total carats for under 5k. I suggest that you don't buy it from the big name places on the internet because there is no negotiating at that point. If you do buy online, make sure it is certified with one of the major institutes.

And do not take out a loan. Save money and work for it, but don't take out a loan for that purpose. I'm in the same situation as you. I'm saving up more and more. I hope I'll have enough by the end of this summer. I probably won't, so I will have enough by next summer. How long have you been together?Good luck!

We've been together about 3.5 yrs now. We started dating about 6 months before I left for med school and we've been doing the long distance thing ever since. FYI...the search still continues!!!

 

[TMP-SMX]

We've been together about 3.5 yrs now. We started dating about 6 months before I left for med school and we've been doing the long distance thing ever since. FYI...the search still continues!!!

Long distance is rough. You must really like her.

 

[Adcadet]

Only date girls with small fingers! Luckily, with my wife's hands, anything over 1 carat looks too big (in our opinion).

 

[Jejton]

Getting ( and staying ) married is expensive. Get your fiance a nice enough ring to show that you are serious about getting married and to make her happy, but save the rest of the money for the wedding and starting off your married life. Most girls are extremely excited about the ring for about 5 minutes of showing it off and then kind of forget they even have it. They are even guaranteed to ' misplace ' it at least once

And dont ever pay retail..only the rich and tourists do.

 

[Jejton]

Another way of saving money is too buy a ring with a defect. Many defects will drive the diamond's price down a big percentage while only being barely detectable, if at all, with the naked eye. Unless your future wife is a jeweler, or has one in the family, she will never notice the difference. That is why research is very important.

 

[fozzy40]

Only date girls with small fingers! Luckily, with my wife's hands, anything over 1 carat looks too big (in our opinion).

I can assure everyone that my GF/soon to be fiance's hands are smaller than mine. It's part of my no exception criteria of dating:
1) shorter than me
2) no man-hands

haha

FYI...I've already found a ring that I put enough down to hold...but I'm still searching around...

 

[TMP-SMX]

Another way of saving money is too buy a ring with a defect. Many defects will drive the diamond's price down a big percentage while only being barely detectable, if at all, with the naked eye. Unless your future wife is a jeweler, or has one in the family, she will never notice the difference. That is why research is very important.

Yeah. SI diamonds are cheap. However, I don't think they are any good for an engagement ring. Hopefully I can find a decent priced diamond:
G-I
VS2 or better

 

[msl2007]

Don't forget the cost of the wedding ring!
If you are going for a simple band, that's not much. But I havea diamond eternity band (diamonds all the way around, adn big enough that you can see the shape) and it was expensive! Also consider if you are going gold or platinum- that changes the cost somewhat.
We looked at having a ring made but found that bluenile had better quality for the price, even compared to palces in chicago (but we were spending less than $5k, so chicago was hard) and again saved on sales tax. But of course, paid that on our income taxes in the spring.
DH's wedding ring was somehwat expensive too because it is platinum, and in a man's ring, that's a lot of platinum!
I also got DH an engagement watch, that set me back a 2k as well.

Good luck!

 

[dpmd]

After hubby lost the white gold wedding band (cost about $80), and the silver replacement, I just started picking up $10 silver plated bands when they were on sale and switching them out when he would lose them or scratch them up.

 

[quinnie]

please buy your ring from BJs for half as much like someone else suggested they are very beautiful pieces for much less dough congrats!

 

[Petek]

I have never seen a place sparkle as much as the harbor of St. Thomas. It is a US territory but it is considered a developing country and gets large import discounts. I bought my wife a ring and saw a very similar ring in St. Thomas during our honeymoon for much less money. So you get a ring and a great vacation for what the same ring would have cost you in the states

 

[TMP-SMX]

I have never seen a place sparkle as much as the harbor of St. Thomas. It is a US territory but it is considered a developing country and gets large import discounts. I bought my wife a ring and saw a very similar ring in St. Thomas during our honeymoon for much less money. So you get a ring and a great vacation for what the same ring would have cost you in the states

The problem with that is you don't know if you can trust these dealers. Many times they will try to treat the diamonds so they look better but if you ever change the setting and the diamond is heated it will be damaged.

Anyway, you never know the specs unless it is certified.

 

[ChessMess]

Three thoughts, all cynical. Don't take the first seriously.

First, why are you getting married just before med school? You're stock is only going to rise! Hold out for an upgrade.

Second, Blood Diamond, watch it. People used to get married without a diamond ring, but the diamond industry has manufactured demand. Diamonds = inequity = war. What about another type of gemstone?

Third, Size != Status != Love != Stability

 

[Doctor Bagel]

Three thoughts, all cynical. Don't take the first seriously.

First, why are you getting married just before med school? You're stock is only going to rise! Hold out for an upgrade.

Second, Blood Diamond, watch it. People used to get married without a diamond ring, but the diamond industry has manufactured demand. Diamonds = inequity = war. What about another type of gemstone?

Third, Size != Status != Love != Stability

I think the first thought is sort of an ugly one, and the op is actually graduating from med school, so it's not applicable. I would guess his stock has already risen.

Agree very much with points 2 and 3. Diamonds are a totally ahistorical engagement ring, and that whole 2 months salary thing is bs created by the diamond industry. They act like it's some tradition, but it didn't even pop up as an idea until about 10 years ago. If you're deadset on a diamond, though (don't get why because I don't think they're particularly pretty but whatever), you can buy Canadian diamonds.

 

[Ezekiel1986]

So what does everyone think about those lab produced diamonds that are supposely identical to the real thing but much cheaper?

I think most girls would prefer the lab diamonds and maybe a better vacation/car, etc.

 

[TMP-SMX]

So what does everyone think about those lab produced diamonds that are supposely identical to the real thing but much cheaper?

I think most girls would prefer the lab diamonds and maybe a better vacation/car, etc.

In a perfect world... And I think that a lot of the lab created diamonds are junk and not really diamonds. If you are looking on ebay there is a lot of false advertising of this stuff. There are diamonds that are synthetic that are actually diamonds, but many of them aren't that large.

 

[Farmercyst]

I spent $1500 on my wife's ring from a Sporting goods store in Montana. 1/2 carat sapphire center, diamonds on side. It's small, but she adores it. I'll buy you an exact copy if I can keep the other $13500

 

[Adcadet]

I have never seen a place sparkle as much as the harbor of St. Thomas. It is a US territory but it is considered a developing country and gets large import discounts. I bought my wife a ring and saw a very similar ring in St. Thomas during our honeymoon for much less money. So you get a ring and a great vacation for what the same ring would have cost you in the states

Don't know about price, but Charlotte Amalie, the main city on St. Thomas, is filled with jewelry stores.

 

[TMP-SMX]

I spent $1500 on my wife's ring from a Sporting goods store in Montana. 1/2 carat sapphire center, diamonds on side. It's small, but she adores it. I'll buy you an exact copy if I can keep the other $13500

I'd love to get a nice gemstone center stone or gemstone accents. Not going to happen. I don't know what it is with females today.

 

[DoctorMom78]

Size really doesn't matter...

I wanted a real diamond. That was important to me, but the size didn't matter. I really have very simple tastes. My wedding band and engagement ring cost about $1200 together and I love them. It was the symbolism I was interested in and not the bling. My ring is a 1/3 carat center stone with two smaller side stones and is white gold. My band is just engraved white gold.

You are absolutely insane if you spend that much money on a ring. If I were your fiance, I would KILL you for wasting that money. I can think of a million things that the money would be better spent on. However, there are women who want the most expensive things that they can get. Only you know your fiance and what she wants.

Congrats and good luck!!!

 

[helpfuldoc2b]

I'm planning to propose to my GF by graduation (June 1st) and don't know jack about how to purchase a ring. I am looking to spend about $10 to 15K (i think ) I will not be having any help paying for the ring and I'm going to need to take out another loan. Any advice or things I need to think about while going through the process? Much appreciated....

fozzy40

you crazy, get her something for 3K, unless she is materialistic she should cry and be honored you even popped the question. You know how desperate girls our age are to get asked to be married, well thats unless your a less than desirable male and the have low confidence or the chick is a b*tch and doesnt understand your circumstances as a student.

 

[eddie269]

Am I the only one who doesn't mind spending ~$10k on an engagement ring? I have no problems with it at all and if you think she deserves it, do it. Don't let anyone here tell you otherwise. For the woman who will nurture and birth your children, and with your future salary, it that amount shouldn't be too much of an issue.

Don't get me wrong, as a former finance guy, it isn't the smartest move. But it's can't be any worse than the new grad who buys a $50k BMW to reward himself or that 4.0 student who chose a top 5 private med school over a top 20 state school. It's all about personal preference. At least a diamond isn't a depreciating value and in most cases, can be an investment.

Make sure it's certified and get it insured is all I got from my guys. And avoid malls and buy online or from a wholesaler in person. I already have my spec's and expected pricing down and when the time is right, I just got to find it for the right price and it's a go.

I plan to spend just around $10k also but I'm also starting to save my milk money as we speak. I probably have another year before I propose and I believe loans will be my last option to cover the balance. Just don't go overboard and get pressured into spending more than you are comfortable with. Good luck and congrats on finding the right girl.

 

[fozzy40]

well thats unless your a less than desirable male and the have low confidence or the chick is a b*tch and doesnt understand your circumstances as a student.

In case anyone is wondering, my GF and I are neither.

Again, I thank everyone for their input but I definitely see eddie269's point. I've found a ring that I actually really like and would love her to have. Yes, it is out of my budget and no it's not $12-15K, despite my original post. DoctorMom78 is right in the fact that she probably will be mad at me when she sees the ring but ultimately I think she deserves it and it's the ring I want to give her. She has never asked me for anything "materialistic." We have never gone ring shopping and she has never dropped me hints about what ring she wants. The more I think about what she has gone through for me the issue of the price seems trivial. Besides, I'm looking at it as if it was an investment Sure there is a time and place for extravagance and now is probably not the best time for me given my current financial situation. However, I get one chance to get "the reaction" with the ring that I want to give her...it's an easy decision.

 

[The White Coat Investor]

Congratulations on making your decision. My wife's wedding ring broke today after 8 years. I hope the insurance policy I've been paying on for the last 8 years pays off, because the price of platinum has gone up an awful lot since I bought that one.

 

[etf]

head over to borsheims, the nebraska jewelery store that's a subsidiary of berkshire hathaway. you'll probably get a good deal. hell, if it's good enough for bill gates' engagement ring, it should be ok for all of us.

 

[TMP-SMX]

Costco has some really nice rings. I ended up getting a 1.5 total carat platinum ring with a 1.07 center stone IGIcert VS2, F princess cut and 6 small accents for 4500.

 

[fozzy40]

Don't worry, she ain't wearin' it until I get it appraised and insured