Age gap and social life....

[fonzy]

Hi folks,

We are already having discussions on the age groups entering med schools. Some schools say the entering class ranges from 19 to 51 yrs of age.
I am myself 39.

I am curious how people get along in the school and if they go out [date] with older/younger counterparts.

For example, would a 22 yrs old female student in my class like to go out with me?

Sorry if the issue seems a bit offbeat...but just curious...

best

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[Jeffy]

dude, there are easier ways to get a date

 

[lola]

looking for some fresh young meat, huh?

 

[Ryo-Ohki]

Damn, trying to rob the cradle aren't we?

Don't be that 40 year old guy in a college bar.

 

[fonzy]

Guys, FYI there is already a 20 yr old beautiful blonde who wants to marry me and we never had physical intimacy. It is love.
I look very young and am a very nice person.

No I am not looking for 'young meat' but what a way to describe women!!!
There are young women who are smarter [and mature] than mature ones. And some of them do want to be with mature men.

Well....what do you say..

 

[Moneyless]

dude... it's just the rediculousness of this Q... it's like asking us if u will get a date ever... how the heck should we know?

 

[Jeffy]

"Well... what do you say..."

Yeah, I was right the first time . . . still sounds desperate and pedophilic

 

[Moneyless]

Originally posted by Quagmire, M.D.
"Well... what do you say..."

Yeah, I was right the first time . . . still sounds desperate and pedophilic

word up yo

 

[tBw]

...um.....

to try and answer seriously (though I'm not sure I should...)

If 22 year old women want to date you now, I'm sure they'll still want to in med school. If they don't now, I doubt they will in med school.

Med school may change your life, but it sure doesn't give you one!

 

[Dr. MAXY]

Maybe your luck will send you to a school like mine where 90% of the females are marreid and the other 10% are in a every serious relationship.

 

[Ryo-Ohki]

Perv is a relatively rare Flame Warrior and is very secretive. He incites trouble merely to keep people talking to him. He can be very difficult to identify, but one big tipoff is if he seems less interested in what you have to say than what you are wearing.



http://www.winternet.com/~mikelr/flame1.html

 

[mh2002ny]

Originally posted by Ryo-Ohki

Perv is a relatively rare Flame Warrior and is very secretive. He incites trouble merely to keep people talking to him. He can be very difficult to identify, but one big tipoff is if he seems less interested in what you have to say than what you are wearing.



http://www.winternet.com/~mikelr/flame26.html

Holy ****!!!!!!!!!!!! You just made me fall off my chair cracking up. Just what I needed after a day of stoichiometry!! LMMFAO ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[irlandesa]

ok, I can put aside our political differences enough to say that totally cracked me up. I think you guys need to create a Med Student flame warrior; brilliant stuff on that page..
oh yeah, although I usually snub quotes that have to do with affirmative action, etc., the idea of someone being enough of a tool to ask people who would describe them as selfish and cold for letters of recommendation is pretty amusing. I may be pretty dumb at times myself, but can usually tell when someone doesn't like me at all.. I understand getting a "guarded letter" after misjudging a recommender's character, but if that guy isn't just an example the only place he deserves in med school is as the token *****, hll I don't care what race he is !

 

[mcataz]

I think you are pushing it. You are 39. And she is 22. In Texas, you are probably old enough to be her father. Sorry Texas!!!

I think a good rule of thumb in regards to dating is not to have more than a 10 year age gap. And ideally, I wouldn't go past a 5 year age gap.

I wouldn't date her. Besides, how serious do you think she will be at age 22 regardless of what she is telling you. We were all 22 once. Rember what that was like and you will get your answer.

If you are just fooling around, that's fine. But I doubt a girl like that will marry you when she starts maturing and getting older. She will come to her senses by the age of 26 and be like: "What the hell am I doing with a guy who is nearly 20 years older than me. Look dating girls who are 20 years younger only works with Mick Jagger and other celebrities. Young women will stick around with those old farts because they have money and fame.

Do yourself a favor and go after women in their low 30's in medical school. There are plenty of attractive and single women in their low 30's in medical school. And those poor ladies have the toughest time finding guys because old farts like you get greedy and want something they can't have....like a 22 year old.

 

[Jeffy]

Despite all of my hate with regards to you being a pedophile, never let the dream die bro'. The younger ya get 'em the better. Giggity Giggity Allllllright.

 

[lotanna]

my best friend is 23yrs, 2nd yr dental student, one of his buddies is 37yrs old classmate, who is married with 2 kids. They always make fun of him but they all get along, since he's married he doesnt go out too much but he plays b-ball with them and occasionally goes to the bar with them.

 

[Angeliqua]

age gap: my bf is 9 years older than me (24, 33) and I certainly feel the age difference on occasion. I am certain he does also. I don't recommend dating someone with a larger age gap than that, there are just way too many generational differences which WILL come up regardless of how much you are in love. Not to mention, as a 24 yo (we have been dating since I was 21) I kind of feel like I have aged 7 years in the last 2.5 that we have been dating because I really have changed some of my interests/lifestyle since we have been together, I think largely based on his age. Introducing a 17 year age gap into some girls life may be fine in the beginning, but she may start to resent it (and you). Keep looking for women over 30. There are definitely a lot of hot 30+ year old women out there...plus isn't that supposed to be a woman's sexual prime?

social life: dude, look outside of your med school class for a social life. Balance is a good thing. Find a hobby in your spare time, meet people, whatever.

 

[phar]

Originally posted by fonzy
Guys, FYI there is already a 20 yr old beautiful blonde who wants to marry me and we never had physical intimacy. It is love.

Oops, another love story.... ....dude you are man!!!!!...since when does love come after intimacy....get the jiggy action first than decide if you still feel horny when she is around....Lastly, i don't believe in
'love crap'...i call it horny style for one flavor... .....

 

[Allygator89]

What difference does age really make? If you are both mature adults, and it makes you happy being with each other, then be with each other. Don't let someone else tell you if you should or shouldn't ask someone else out or date them. That is a decision you have to make, and no one else can make it for you. If you and the woman are comfortable, and you feel it would be right, then ask. The worst she can say is no.

Personally, I have a friend whose father is 22 years older than her mother and they have been happily married for many years. Another person I know just married someone that is 15 years older than her.

Ultimately, it is all up to you. Make the decision for yourself, and stand by it. Don't let someone else tell you how to live your life.

 

[desertscholar]

I think your starting to hit one of those midlife crisises. Trying to recapture your youth. Take up snowboarding or something and leave the young girls at alone.

 

[pathdr2b]

Originally posted by mcataz
There are plenty of attractive and single women in their low 30's in medical school. And those poor ladies have the toughest time finding guys because old farts like you get greedy and want something they can't have....like a 22 year old.

Why are 30 something female medical students seen as poor ladies? I've bet you've got (or your 20 something girlfriend) more flab on your butt then I would ever have on mine and I know you/she can't hang with my 6-pack abs!

And by the way obiviously Fonzy can have a 20 something girlfriend. More power to you Fonzy, do your thing!

By the way, does she have a nice 20 something year old brother?

 

[mcataz]

Why are 30 something female medical students seen as poor ladies? I've bet you've got (or your 20 something girlfriend) more flab on your butt then I would ever have on mine and I know you/she can't hang with my 6-pack abs!

Hey chill out China! Can you not read? I was defending you and your six pack over my flabby butt. I'm just saying that Fonzy doesn't need to date 22 year olds when there are hot 30's something with bodies of 22 year olds. GROWWWWWL!!!!
I just feel bad that many guys are superficial and don't want to pursue women in their 30's because of their age.

I wouldn't have as much of a problem with this scenario if you were 44 and she was 27. I think women start to settle down and know what they want after the age of 25-26. But at 22, she is right out of college and still wanting to party. She doesn't know what she wants and she still has a lot to see. Of course, I'm generalizing but you wanted people's opinions. And that's mine. I'm not trying to insult you. I'm generally trying to tell what I think is best for you. And I meant that about women in their 30's. There are so many women in their 30's who are smoking hot that I often mistake them for women in the low 20's. Don't worry brother, there are plenty of hot women available to you that is closer to your age.

 

[jennie 21]

I am 21 and I hate it when guys your age make the assumption that for some reason I would be interested in them. Even if I weren't already engaged to a guy my own age, why on earth would I be interested in going out with a guy 20 years older? What on earth could I have in common with a 40 year old? Older guys who are interested in much younger women are usually using it to deal with their own issues about getting older, and are usually interested in the girls only as trophies, not as people.
Why don't you date women your own age? Yes, the majority of people in med school are in their 20's but it's not like you can only date other med students. There are plenty of attractive, single 30-something women outside of med school who you could date.

 

[fonzy]

Well, we have so many perspectives here. Great!!

However I was not just talking about dating younger women; that was just one aspect. The issue is social mix up and interaction as I have seen in undergrad that young students usually do not want to talk to or work with mature students.
I am not looking forward to having fun with young girls in med schools
But let us not use derogatory expressions or implications for relationships.

shall we talk more???

 

[wolferman]

As a 23 year-old guy, I can barely see myself with a 40 year-old woman. I don't know if women perceive the age gap differently, but personally, it would only be surmountable if the woman were really hot. I mean, she'd have to be a total M.I.L.F.

 

[jennie 21]

Well, in terms of socializing I can't see any reason why students of all ages shouldn't hang out and study together. My guess is that you'll find younger students to be friendly and open. Also, there are usually a fair number of people in each med school who are somewhat older and already have families of their own. So I don't think you need to worry about making friends and finding people to study with.

 

[CD]

I had many of the same fears when I applied (and was accepted) to grad school. Although my interest wasn't in dating, I was concerned with "fitting in" with my younger counterparts. At 36 (37 in two weeks!) my peers could almost be my children! How on earth would we interact? I shouldn't have worried. ...we have a great relationship. In fact we study, go to lunch...etc. I am "one of the gang". I beleive the difference lies in how you see YOURSELF. I saw my younger classmates as just that MY CLASSMATES.....we were(and are) all in the same boat. We face the same frustrations, same teachers, same tests, same everything. We are equals in the academic arena. Although I am married and have two children, which sets me apart from my younger counterparts, that aspect hasn't served to be a problem. We still have MUCH in common. The secret is to focus on what you have in common and view your classmates as your peers....because in fact, they are in this case. I tend to be quite outgoing so jumping in wasn't a real problem for me. However, the most noticeable thing was that my peers were reluctant to ask me to their study sessions/dinner etc. However, when I ASKED they were more than willing. I wonder if they were Intimidated by ME. It doesn't really matter now since those first days are history and we have a great relationship. So relax, you'll be fine.

 

[pathdr2b]

Originally posted by CD
I had many of the same fears when I applied (and was accepted) to grad school. However, when I ASKED they were more than willing. I wonder if they were Intimidated by ME.

I had a very different expereince at UNC-Chapel Hill in the Department of Chemistry (I was in my early 30's). I always felt out of the loop because of my age and social status. However in retrospect, I think it was more about the fact the chemists tend to be nonsocial and very "straight laced" and I'm quite the social butterfly.


I have to admit that because of this expereince I'm very concerned about going to medical school with people who will be at least 15 years younger than me. I'm also concerned that I won't be able to find people with things in common with me unless I attend an HBCU or DO school.

 

[Sweet Tea]

You had problems fitting in with the chem folks, path? I only find that odd b/c the grand majority of my chem TAs were late-20s/early 30s when I was in undergrad at UNC. Maybe I just had older TAs, or maybe the chem grad students were just a little antisocial for you (which wouldn't surprise me at all!). Nothing against chem grad students...just seemed to be a quieter bunch than the bio grad students.

okay, back to the thread topic!

 

[Enkindu]

I'll be M1 in August and I'm 35. I did a year of post-bacc classes and found the undergrads to be generally laid back about my age. I've actually made some friends among the younger crowd- (my new climbing partner is 22!) I'm engaged to a great woman (who is eight years younger than me, BTW) so I never dealt with the dating aspect of things. I got the feeling that there would have been plenty of interest if I had been available. IMHO, the bottom line is that anyone bothered by the fact that you are older would probably discriminate for other reasons as well (race, religion, etc) and would be a waste of your time anyway. As far as you freaks calling the guy a pedophile, what the hell are you talking about?? Last I checked anyone 22 years old (and entering med school for that matter) is generally considered to be an independent adult in our society. As you grumpy youngsters live a little and get a clue about life, you will learn that happiness with your partner has precisely jack squat to do with age. If you find someone that really makes you happy, you don't screw it up for stupid reasons.

The only truly difficult thing I have to deal with in my relationship is music... My fiance thinks "N Synch" and "Christina Aguilera" are actually musicians and not the mindless, talentless record company products that they are.

 

[carrigallen]

Originally posted by Enkindu


The only truly difficult thing I have to deal with in my relationship is music... My fiance thinks "N Synch" and "Christina Aguilera" are actually musicians and not the mindless, talentless record company products that they are.

w3rd - don't gotta be 30+ to know that.

 

[pathdr2b]

Originally posted by Enkindu
As far as you freaks calling the guy a pedophile, what the hell are you talking about?? Last I checked anyone 22 years old (and entering med school for that matter) is generally considered to be an independent adult in our society

Amen brotha'

Originally posted by Enkindu
The only truly difficult thing I have to deal with in my relationship is music... My fiance thinks "N Synch" and "Christina Aguilera" are actually musicians and not the mindless, talentless record company products that they are.

OK, I'm 36 and over the past few months I've purchased CD's by Missy Elliott and Justin Timberlake ( And yes I love N'Sync).But I've also recently purchased Norah Jones and Natilie Cole. I guess I'm just muliti-generational with my music but I haven't yet gotten into the fashion statement. Low rider jeans that show the crack of one's butt just aren't for me!!!

 

[Lab-Rat21]

This thread is interesting, since I had not thought much about med school dating...think I'll go for a PA or a nurse...med school women are OK, but the time constraints really mess the relationship up. Then there's the gossip about the aftermath and all that...

Just go to the hospital and check out the nursing staff...as for age? As long as there is no more than a + or - 5 year gap. That's my rule, not 5 years older or younger than me.

BTW, M.I.L.F. that's hilarious. I asked my friend and he knew exactly what it was right away...dirty dirty poster.

 

[::Seabass::]

hmm, actually, the last blind date I was set up on had almost the same age gap. only difference, I'm 23.

the guy is a prominent business man in my town and the date was set before he realized I was as young as I was, so he just went with it. I got there and almost died because I was under the impression he was 35ish. (don't ask me why, but there is a huge difference, it is normal for girls my age to date guys that old here) (and actually he looks 35 still) it was an interesting evening and he was shocked I could actually carry a conversation. he also had a good time doing the math and making comments like "the last time I was out with someone who was 23....." it turned out to be a much better time than either of us expected. I think everyone has something to teach you, and I learned a lot from him. (no, not in the sex department you pervs )

as for friends Fonzy, my job has me basically working with just older men. I have to take orders and give orders to guys 20+ years older than me and my best male friend happens to be 36. I'm sure there will be some mature people in your class that will be easy to talk to. age become irrelevant as long as you aren't the creepy old guy.

 

[cabruen]

Originally posted by seaworthc
I have to take orders and give orders to guys 20+ years older than me and my best male friend happens to be 36.

I thought your best male friend was 32.

 

[MidwestDental]

I wouldn't worry too much about the dating aspect. I would be more worried about the "getting along with your peers" aspect. That is far more difficult, IMO.

However, med school is far more cohesive than undergrad. It is nothing alike. So you will not need to be as worried.

Secondly, older guy-younger woman relationships are very common. Don't worry about it. SeaworthC dates guys in their thrities, it's not a big deal. Med girls will be at least 22. Although 22 is still relatively immature, in 3-4 short years (forever for her, not that long for you) she will be 25-26, and almost as mature as you need her to be.

Until you are 45, you can still date 27 and 29 year old women, it should not be an issue. It is just the 22-27 years that are hard. Just stay away from the undergrads when you are 35+, that is a little creepy, unless she comes onto you first.

another tip, try to go to medical school where you will be able to meet others your own age. Stay away from college towns. It will be difficult to meet working professionals in which to get a breather from school life. Good luck.

 

[mh2002ny]

Age really isn't that big of a deal. I'm 16(17 in 3 months) and have been going out with a girl who just turned 22, since a few weeks after I started college. When I was in high school I was dating a senior who was 3 years older than me.

The reason I chose to go out with an older girl is because the younger freshmen(who are still 1+ years older than me) are just too immature to bear. They're just too shallow to hold an intellectual conversation with. This girl is a senior psychology major who will be applying to med school next year.

I think that the thing that gets me by is the fact that I look much older than I am. By the time we found out each other's ages we were going out for over 2 weeks already. So far its been over 5 weeks. What matters most is the chemistry between the people...how they are able to converse and get along with each other....

And I just tend to overlook the legality issues .

 

[fonzy]

Great stuff!
hey, let us not forget..love still exists and it knows no bounds....

 

[Samoa]

speaking as a 30-something female, I can certainly see myself hanging out with 22-26 year olds. but I can't see myself dating them. unless they're really hot. then all bets are off.

 

[periodista]

The French, who claim to be experts on matters of the heart, have a formula for the best age difference between men and women: The woman should be 1/2 the man's age plus seven years. For eg: if he is 30, she should be 22. Anna Nicole Smith subscribed to this theory ? and then some.

 

[Samoa]

Originally posted by periodista
The French, who claim to be experts on matters of the heart, have a formula for the best age difference between men and women: The woman should be 1/2 the man's age plus seven years. For eg: if he is 30, she should be 22. Anna Nicole Smith subscribed to this theory ? and then some.

You gotta be kidding me. No way am I dating anybody that old.

 

[fonzy]

Originally posted by periodista
The French, who claim to be experts on matters of the heart, have a formula for the best age difference between men and women: The woman should be 1/2 the man's age plus seven years. For eg: if he is 30, she should be 22. Anna Nicole Smith subscribed to this theory ? and then some.

Really!

How about this:

When I am 50, according to your formula I should get a woman who is 50/2 + 7 = 32

 

[lola]

fonzy,
why such a desire to date much younger women? those closer to your age will likely have much more in common with you and will be at similar stages in their lives. i mean, 22 is awfully young. it's possible that a 22 year old would fall for you but highly unlikely, particularly if it seems obvious that you only want to date younger women -- creepy. many 22 year olds, myself included at that time, would not even think to date someone over 30.

 

[::Seabass::]

Originally posted by Blitzkrieg
try 20 bbbbbbbbbaaaaaabbbbbbbbyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

try not to fight over me boys

 

[Enkindu]

Originally posted by lola
many 22 year olds, myself included at that time, would not even think to date someone over 30.

Like I said before, anyone with an arbitrary cutoff like this demonstrates nothing but their own immaturity. Sure, it's more likely you will find a partner with similar interests closer to your own age, but why throw a barrier up between yourself and someone you don't even know yet?

My best friend is married to a woman eight years his senior. They have a great marriage and a great kid.

I've been dating my fiance for 4 years- she's 8 years younger than I am and we are very happy. What can I say? There weren't many women my age who could hack it when I suggested we throw the camping gear in the car and drive 400 miles on friday night to climb a mountain on saturday morning.

One word of warning about men: we are generally idiots until we're 30 or so (with a few notable exceptions). Most of the women I know escaped the idiot phase somewhere around age 24-27. Why wouldn't you date an older guy? If you're just going for youthful appearance and quick turn-around time, I can't argue with your logic. But inside every young enthusiastic male is an idiot waiting to be discovered. Some men remain idiots until their mid-80's. I will consult my fiance and let you know if I am still an idiot or not.

I think you folks just getting out of undergrad will realize quickly that the "old people"/"young people" distinction you've been able to make up until now will very rapidly become less relevant. Just because someone has a decade on you doesn't make them creepy! If you are looking for more than "quick dating gratification" you had better start looking at the whole person- if you can find a person who makes you happy (younger, same age, or older) you better hold on because it's rare.

I will now don my asbestos suit and eagerly await your responses.

 

[md_student10021]

as an older student, you shouldn't have much trouble fitting in, so long as you have some social skills. chances are you'll be more involved in your own thing outside of school (as opposed to school clubs/parties etc), because of the age thing, though.

unless EVERYONE at your school lives "on-campus," you ought to get an off-campus apartment (I know this varies from school to school)...

But dating a fellow medical student 20 years younger than you?? all of my "older" classmates are married, so I haven't seen that....you'll probably be rejected, and even if you're not, you're classmates will consider you rather weird

why not date women your own age?

 

[lola]

Originally posted by Enkindu
Like I said before, anyone with an arbitrary cutoff like this demonstrates nothing but their own immaturity.

I think you folks just getting out of undergrad will realize quickly that the "old people"/"young people" distinction you've been able to make up until now will very rapidly become less relevant. Just because someone has a decade on you doesn't make them creepy!

yes, and most people that are 22 are not all that mature. now that i am 27 i would be more likely to date someone older, but when i was 22 i would not have even considered it unless somone came and swept me off my feet that i fell madly in love or something.

it is def creepy when older men *only* want to date younger women. not only is it creepy, it is also slightly offensive to some women. from my experience, men who want to date only much younger women tend to objectify women. they are more interested in womens' bodies than their personal qualities.

 

[fonzy]

Lola,
Yes, love is what makes that combination possible.
In most cases I think as you said older men do objectify women and also younger women do it for power, gratification, money and other reasons.

Also, there are women in their 30's and 40's who are much better physically than most women in 20's. So a young body should not be an issue.

 

[paean]

The real issue about dating is whether you should date classmates at all...

I (from the comfortable position of having a SO long before medical school) think it's better to not. As for the age difference, that will be less of an issue than the gossip you will have to deal with, or the potential issues if you break up.

 

[fonzy]

I agree with Paean.
However, once I was chatting on-line with a doc [resident] and I was a bit surprised to know that many students there just have physical relationship, not dating or serious relationship. The reason she gave me is that in med school they do not have time for serious relationship.
Is that true?