Am I doing the right thing?

[sapama]

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Hello everyone, I'm just freaking out a little bit and was wondering if other non-trad have felt similar at times. I left a job I enjoyed to go back to school, my family is very supportive and I have been doing well in my 1st semester back classes. I was originally planning on applying for admission fall 2011 but I just don't think my chances are good, I think I need to postpone another year to get more coursework under my belt before MCAT and more volunteer time. I'm just all of a sudden panicking that what if I've screwed up? That I should have stayed at my job, that I'm not as good as I thought I was? I always enjoyed school and always got by without much studying effort, and it's dawning on me that I need to put in a great deal more studying than I ever have before and I don't know how. I'm finding myself so gripped with panic that I can't barely concentrate to study. I've never had test anxiety and now it's rearing it's ugly head, I've always been a big fish in a small pond. I have finals in a few weeks but I just can't seem to make myself focus, I just would rather sleep or read. I know I'm self destructing, I've put in too much work over the semester to freak now, but I don't know how to snap out of it.

I haven't spoken to anyone about my doubts because they are all SOO excited for me and I'm terrified of letting myself or anyone down. The idea of turning back at this point is just devastating, but I don't know how to move forward without so much fear.

I know I want this career so badly, it's just that the path is so daunting and the idea of failure is so real... Sorry this is negative, I just don't know who else to talk to and I thought others might have felt similar in the past.

 

[Ebete]

What have you done to feel so anxious? Do well on your classes, squeeze some time in for volunteer and enjoy the ride!
Don't be so hard on yourself, and forget about what others are or will be thinking of you. Concentrate on one semester at a time, and step by step you'll get there. As far as doubts, well we all have them...I just posted a few days back about my doubts and SDN peeps came to the rescue. Needless to say I feel better and know I can do it. Don't let a few walls come between you and your dream, some hard work and determination, you can do it too.
So take a few breaths in when you feel anxious and say to yourself you can do it...relax, you are only in the beggining don't freek yourself out in doubts.

Good luck

 

[Econ2MD]

You said yourself you're doing well in your coursework. I know one thing for sure: you have absolutely no control over decisions made in the past. All you can do is make decisions today that move you toward your goal. I think once you put all the "interference" crap out of your mind and really focus on the things that are directly in front of you, you'll realize you can handle it just fine.

You may want to share your recent successes with others more, but maybe keep your goals a little more private. In reality, others' lives won't change much at all if you become a doctor or a homeless person...but it will make a big impact on you.

I don't know your motivation for pursuing medicine, but for me it's not about me. It's about helping others. Refocusing on that has helped me deal with setbacks in this process. Maybe that will work for you?

You may want to seek some help in dealing with the self-destructive tendencies. They're perfectly normal but not terribly productive. Maybe a professional can help with some techniques to control the negative thoughts.

Rock on.

 

[BennieBlanco]

Hello everyone, I'm just freaking out a little bit and was wondering if other non-trad have felt similar at times. I left a job I enjoyed to go back to school, my family is very supportive and I have been doing well in my 1st semester back classes. I was originally planning on applying for admission fall 2011 but I just don't think my chances are good, I think I need to postpone another year to get more coursework under my belt before MCAT and more volunteer time. I'm just all of a sudden panicking that what if I've screwed up? That I should have stayed at my job, that I'm not as good as I thought I was? I always enjoyed school and always got by without much studying effort, and it's dawning on me that I need to put in a great deal more studying than I ever have before and I don't know how. I'm finding myself so gripped with panic that I can't barely concentrate to study. I've never had test anxiety and now it's rearing it's ugly head, I've always been a big fish in a small pond. I have finals in a few weeks but I just can't seem to make myself focus, I just would rather sleep or read. I know I'm self destructing, I've put in too much work over the semester to freak now, but I don't know how to snap out of it.

I haven't spoken to anyone about my doubts because they are all SOO excited for me and I'm terrified of letting myself or anyone down. The idea of turning back at this point is just devastating, but I don't know how to move forward without so much fear.

I know I want this career so badly, it's just that the path is so daunting and the idea of failure is so real... Sorry this is negative, I just don't know who else to talk to and I thought others might have felt similar in the past.

I definitely have had second thoughts. When you go from making lots of money to NOT making any money it is tough. It is humbling walking around changing beds in a hospital after being in a job where second count. It is also tough jumping back into school. Lets face it, being a student is a skill and the best students know how to study efficiently and how to focus study on high yield items. You can't perfect this skill in a semester or two of being a pre-med. Also, being a pre-med is different from other majors. You have to study twice as much and getting grades is twice as competitive.

So I feel your pain. Anytime I've had second thoughts I've found I'm thinking of comfort and/or money. Two things that aren't very important in the end. When I am sure I've made the right decision, I'm thinking of doing what I'm fascinated with, being able to give and make a difference, and passion. Things that last and things that matter.

It is extremely difficult juggling volunteer time, shadowing, MCAT, 15 science units, etc. This is more time consuming that making a 6 figure income sometimes.

You have to be willing to do anything to win. You have to be willing to take 4 years to get in if it needs to be done, be willing to be a DO or MD. Be willing to go anywhere. If you set out on this journey saying, "I want to be a doctor if and only if I get into my school of choice in 18 months and I get __ on the MCAT my first time and ___ and ___."

Everyone has doubts. The courageous have fear, yet they press on despite their fear. Many think the courageous lack fear but this is far from the truth.

Be open and focus on what matters.

 

[sapama]

Wow, thank you everyone for taking the time to give incredibly encouraging words! I was really stressing out but I great deal of what I have found on this site has given me constructive tools. I have decided to wait and apply a year later than I had originally planned and I feel like a huge weight has been eased off my shoulders. It's disappointing but I was naive to think I could do all the pre-reqs and everything in a year and a half. I've always said that if you're going to do something, do it right.

Thanks!

 

[thecleaner]

Wow, thank you everyone for taking the time to give incredibly encouraging words! I was really stressing out but I great deal of what I have found on this site has given me constructive tools. I have decided to wait and apply a year later than I had originally planned and I feel like a huge weight has been eased off my shoulders. It's disappointing but I was naive to think I could do all the pre-reqs and everything in a year and a half. I've always said that if you're going to do something, do it right.

Thanks!

If you're going to do something just go ahead and do it. While i was taking my prereqs and applying i didnt go around mouthing off about my intentions, that took a lot of weight off my shoulders because there were no great expectations. i did what i had to and got accepted. good luck

 

[sapama]

If you're going to do something just go ahead and do it. While i was taking my prereqs and applying i didnt go around mouthing off about my intentions, that took a lot of weight off my shoulders because there were no great expectations. i did what i had to and got accepted. good luck

good idea, I was just so excited when I decided to go for it that i told everyone! Now I sort of wish I hadn't, or at least a little less.

 

[ITtoMD]

I would suggest trying to apply sooner rather than later, IF you can manage to do some good MCAT prep. During the application year, you can have plenty of time to focus on volunteering and other things as well, and your MCAT score will work the following year just as well, should you not get in.

If you can get the prereqs done, and aren't having to take extra classes to really recover from earlier mistakes, don't push it off! You can always apply later, but can't go back in time to do it sooner 🙂

Our PreMed adviser says the info he gets from med schools show GPA is 30-35%, MCAT 25-30, volunteer 10-15, research 10-15, and personal statement 5-10% of what they look at for interview invites. Nontrads also have their work experience weighted heavily. So while it can help, if your GPA/scores are good, given your nontrad background, you can get in. You can update your schools as time goes on with additional volunteer time after your primary and secondaries are sent off too, which can show ongoing commitment to the process 🙂