Anatomy FAIL (as children)

[organdonor]

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I am interested to hear other people's stories so I will share mine

As a child, I used to think that women had a penis that eventually fell off.

Also, I don't really know which of the following is worse
1. I used to think that milk was cow pee
2. I still drank it

And I was recently accepted to medical school Funny how things work out eh?

 

[anonymousername]

at $1.20, it's a steal

 

[HurricaneKatt]

My Mom wanted to be a nurse (before I came along) so I grew up pretty well educated about body parts, but I do have a funny story.

Apparently at the ripe old age of 2 or 3 I decided to let everyone know Exactly how educated I was. 😎 😉 haha
We were living in Germany at the time and my parents took me to a nice restaurant - one that kids don't normally go to. Anyways, the waitress thought I was cute and was talking to me, and I apparently told her that I knew how to tell the difference between a girl and a boy. Obviously not thinking much of it, she asked how at which point I Very loudly blurted out:
GIRLS HAVE A VAGINA AND BOYS HAVE A PENIS!!!! My parents tell me that this attracted many shocked stares.
...we never went to that restaurant again... Ah, kids 😉

 

[HurricaneKatt]

I am interested to hear other people's stories so I will share mine

As a child, I used to think that women had a penis that eventually fell off.

Also, I don't really know which of the following is worse
1. I used to think that milk was cow pee
2. I still drank it

And I was recently accepted to medical school Funny how things work out eh?

The source of Freud's "Penis Envy" perhaps...? 😛

 

[schrizto]

Even through sex ed class in middle school I always thought babies were made when a man and woman fell asleep next to each other and the sperm and egg met in the air. That's how I thought all the footage from the sex ed videos were filmed.

 

[broken tibula]

My brother spent much of his childhood believing that to get the baby out your stomach, you had to throw it up.

 

[schrizto]

I have another story. My mom always told me that babies came out from between a woman's legs when I was little. When I went to kindergarten, we were playing family and pretending that a mom was having a baby, and we got into an argument on how the baby was to come out.

"Okay now we have to slice open the mommy's tummy to get the baby out"
Me: "No, no, my mommy said that the baby comes out between the legs!"
All other children: "No they don't, my mommy said that they slice open the tummy too"

Turns out we were all right in some way.

 

[GoodmanBrown]

My friend (an RN) once treated a high school-age boy who thought that all women were cold blooded.

 

[BlitzSleep]

I got a couple:

I thought my scrotum was where urine was stored

I thought babies came out of the girl's belly button

 

[HammockUp]

Knocked Up got it right:

Where do babies come from?

Where do you think they come from?

Well. I think a stork, he umm, he drops it down and then, and then, a hole goes in your body and there's blood everywhere, coming out of your head and then you push your belly button and then your butt falls off and then you hold your butt and you have to dig and you find the little baby.

That's exactly right.

 

[deleted74029]

1. I thought girls had a penis in their butts, that's why they sit down when they pee.

2. I remember being like 5 or 6 and getting erections, I asked my dad about it. Here's the convo I remember it quite well:

Me: "Daddy why does my penis stick straight out sometimes?"

My Dad: "I don't know son, it happens to me sometimes too but I can't figure it out."

 

[FirefighterDoc]

i thought women had cloaca until i was in high school...

+1

 

[Laryngophed]

+1

+2

 

[jvesco22]

My Mom wanted to be a nurse (before I came along) so I grew up pretty well educated about body parts, but I do have a funny story.

Apparently at the ripe old age of 2 or 3 I decided to let everyone know Exactly how educated I was. 😎 😉 haha
We were living in Germany at the time and my parents took me to a nice restaurant - one that kids don't normally go to. Anyways, the waitress thought I was cute and was talking to me, and I apparently told her that I knew how to tell the difference between a girl and a boy. Obviously not thinking much of it, she asked how at which point I Very loudly blurted out:
GIRLS HAVE A VAGINA AND BOYS HAVE A PENIS!!!! My parents tell me that this attracted many shocked stares.
...we never went to that restaurant again... Ah, kids 😉

That's funny because I just watched Kindergarten Cop starring Gov. Arnold and you weren't in there!!

[youtube]PQvnZOR_oIk[/youtube]

 

[FloatOn]

2. I remember being like 5 or 6 and getting erections, i asked my dad about it. Here's the convo i remember it quite well:

Me: "daddy why does my penis stick straight out sometimes?"

my dad: "i don't know son, it happens to me sometimes too but i can't figure it out."

lol.

 

[mmmcdowe]

I used to think that women laid eggs and peed out of their anuses (and that's why they had to use toilet paper).

 

[ElegantWeapon]

1. I thought girls had a penis in their butts, that's why they sit down when they pee.

2. I remember being like 5 or 6 and getting erections, I asked my dad about it. Here's the convo I remember it quite well:

Me: "Daddy why does my penis stick straight out sometimes?"

My Dad: "I don't know son, it happens to me sometimes too but I can't figure it out."

hilarious

 

[7starmantis]

My friend (an RN) once treated a high school-age boy who thought that all women were cold blooded.

😕 Learn something new everyday!

 

[JonSwan]

When I was 2-3 years old, I had somehow associated the word "sex" with a man and a woman sitting next to each other on barstools (I think probably picked up from a soap opera my mom was watching). When I saw two people sitting at a bar, I thought that that was sex. Now I realize that it's not sex, just foreplay.

 

[niblet]

In elementary school, my friend was enlightening a group of us about sex. He said one of his friends told him that you had to stick the P in the V (which is right, of course). He followed that up with, "You must have to pee in it or something to get some DNA in there."

 

[aggie08]

This thread is great. 👍

 

[ElegantWeapon]

In elementary school, my friend was enlightening a group of us about sex. He said one of his friends told him that you had to stick the P in the V (which is right, of course). He followed that up with, "You must have to pee in it or something to get some DNA in there."

I heard this too when I was younger

 

[aggiedoc2010]

In elementary school, my friend was enlightening a group of us about sex. He said one of his friends told him that you had to stick the P in the V (which is right, of course). He followed that up with, "You must have to pee in it or something to get some DNA in there."

Thank god we never attempted any of these things, unlike the little heathens these days.

 

[JohnnyExtra]

Thank god we never attempted any of these things, unlike the little heathens these days.

So true. Kids are messed up now-a-days! I blame the internet. 😀

 

[wanderer]

I thought women had cloaca until I was in high school...

I used to think that women laid eggs and peed out of their anuses (and that's why they had to use toilet paper).

+1. I also used to think women give birth out of their anuses.

 

[HurricaneKatt]

My friend (an RN) once treated a high school-age boy who thought that all women were cold blooded.

....they aren't? I swear I am! 😉 I can never seem to get warm!

Knocked Up got it right:

Where do babies come from?

Where do you think they come from?
Well. I think a stork, he umm, he drops it down and then, and then, a hole goes in your body and there's blood everywhere, coming out of your head and then you push your belly button and then your butt falls off and then you hold your butt and you have to dig and you find the little baby.
That's exactly right.

👍 My favorite!!!!

Okay, here is another one. When I was little I always thought that women peed out of their vaginas (yes, I am a girl). Then one day I discovered that I had 2 holes and was COMPLETELY freaked out!!!! I thought I had some terrible disease or something, but I was too scared and embarrassed to tell anyone because I a) didn't want to go to the doctor for an uncomfortable visit, and b) didn't want anyone thinking I was a freak. For years I kept my "terrible secret" hidden.... haha I don't remember when it dawned on me that that was a normal thing and that I was supposed to have 2 holes. Somewhere along the way though I figured it out and connected the dots. lmao

 

[HurricaneKatt]

Just thought of 2 more haha

My friend used to think that to make babies, a man and woman started kissing, and then the man put his finger in the woman's belly button and a baby was made. 🙄😛

My little brother had quite the description of hs digestive system when he was about 4 or 5. We were eating dinner ad he would not finish his food but wanted ice cream. Naturally, my mom told him that if he had room for ice cream he had room for the rest of his dinner. My little brother then, very seriously explained to my mom: "No! My Dinner shelf is all full, but my ice cream shelf is still empty so I still have room for ice cream just not dinner!" He then went on to explain that you have different shelves for different foods and when that shelf fills up, you run out of room for that food, but you can still eat other foods, (and his "ice cream shelf" was always empty of course 😉) when the shelves get all filled up that is when you have to go to the bathroom. Then the shelves all fold down and the food slides off and you poop it out and your shelves are empty again.

No clue how he constructed this idea, but it was a pretty impressive description of digestion for a kid that age! His facial expressions and tone of voice made it SO much better too....I REALLY wish that we had it on video! 🙂

 

[HammockUp]

Haha, similar to your brother, I had a slight misunderstanding of trachea/esophagus division. I had always heard "must have gone down the wrong pipe" when someone started coughing while they were eating. Therefore I believed there was a specific pipe for every type (and brand) of food we might ever eat. I was eating Kix one day and started coughing. When I recovered, I commented to my mom (trying to be funny) that it must have gone down the TRIX pipe. I thought it would be funny since they rhymed, and must be next to each other. Turns out I was wrong, it's alphabetical.

 

[Gallix23]

When I was little and just entering those awkward adolescent phases, I use to think that erections were caused because you had to pee really bad, and the reason it got bigger was because there was all that urine backed up waiting to come out 🙄

 

[akaVonk]

I got a couple:

I thought my scrotum was where urine was stored

I thought babies came out of the girl's belly button

Hmm...so when guys collapse on the ground after being hit in the happy sacks, it's because they're embarrassed that they peed themselves after the force applied to the scrotum pushed all the urine out?

 

[OpalOnyx]

Hmm...so when guys collapse on the ground after being hit in the happy sacks, it's because they're embarrassed that they peed themselves after the force applied to the scrotum pushed all the urine out?

yep

 

[ProtonatedAlchy]

1. I thought girls had a penis in their butts, that's why they sit down when they pee.

2. I remember being like 5 or 6 and getting erections, I asked my dad about it. Here's the convo I remember it quite well:

Me: "Daddy why does my penis stick straight out sometimes?"

My Dad: "I don't know son, it happens to me sometimes too but I can't figure it out."

HAHAhA amazingg

 

[tennisball80]

I have been watching porn videos since middle school. For a guy like me without any real lab experience, porn videos have always been a good lecture for me.

 

[red10]

i have been watching porn videos since middle school. For a guy like me without any real lab experience, porn videos have always been a good lecture for me.

tmi

 

[ProtonatedAlchy]

I have been watching porn videos since middle school. For a guy like me without any real lab experience, porn videos have always been a good lecture for me.

nothing like seeing someone watch it in the middle of a 200 person lecture with the sound down, saying he needed to since he had a "headache"

 

[FloatOn]

Damn, all of your stories make me sad about how I can't remember what I thought about sex and anatomy when I was little. All I know was that 4th grade was the first time we started having sex ed classes. Girls and boys were separated into different rooms, of course, and after we rejoined for regular class, it was all awkward turtle for the rest of the day.

 

[orthomyxo]

I have been watching porn videos since middle school. For a guy like me without any real lab experience, porn videos have always been a good lecture for me.

WTF DUDE!!!!

 

[chman]

My dad gave me the sex talk pretty early, like when I was about 5 or so. I was confused about what an egg was doing inside a woman's body. My dad said it was similar to a goldfish egg (I think he just did not want me thinking it was like a chicken egg). I think I stopped listening for a while and I came out with the impression that women had goldfish eggs inside them and that was where babies came from. I then proceeded to tell all my friends this, at a catholic school no less, and my parents ended up getting some angry phone calls.

 

[organdonor]

😀 so glad I created this thread!!

 

[texaslily]

When I asked my mom where babies come out, she told me it was through a hole by the one where poop comes out. I didn't know where it was so I somehow ended up thinking the second hole was on the other side.. like above the anus in the uh.. "intergluteal cleft" area (aka the butt crack). I went around for the longest time thinking about how the baby would have to "break through" back there!

 

[HurricaneKatt]

That's funny because I just watched Kindergarten Cop starring Gov. Arnold and you weren't in there!!

haha I have never seen that movie, but apparently it is a must see so we are going to rent it. lol

When I was little and just entering those awkward adolescent phases, I use to think that erections were caused because you had to pee really bad, and the reason it got bigger was because there was all that urine backed up waiting to come out 🙄

I am ashamed to admit that until fairly recently (high school) I thought that penises got hard when guys peed from the pressure and stuff. It's not exactly like I spent my time watching guys pee though so at least I kind of have an excuse haha

My dad gave me the sex talk pretty early, like when I was about 5 or so. I was confused about what an egg was doing inside a woman's body. My dad said it was similar to a goldfish egg (I think he just did not want me thinking it was like a chicken egg). I think I stopped listening for a while and I came out with the impression that women had goldfish eggs inside them and that was where babies came from. I then proceeded to tell all my friends this, at a catholic school no less, and my parents ended up getting some angry phone calls.

haha I forgot about my Mom's sex talk! She was telling me all about how you can get pregnant even if you don't have sex and semen can go through clothes and stuff (you know, all of the things parents tell their kids to scare them). She told me that if guys get excited and just a leeetle bit comes out and is on the tip, that that leeetle bit was enough to get me pregnant. WELL, I had NO clue what she was talking about being a VERY naiive kid, so when she said "Excited" I took it to mean, well Excited. In the emotional, "I am so excited about this weekend and the new video game" sense. For WEEKS I kept a safe distance from any guys and would not go Near any guy that seemed like he was happy or excited about something. Guys would walk by in the halls in school celebrating some thing or other and I would inch away from them (my Mom told me they could jump or something too - she was really trying to scare me off). lol

 

[Bacchus]

Hmm...so when guys collapse on the ground after being hit in the happy sacks, it's because they're embarrassed that they peed themselves after the force applied to the scrotum pushed all the urine out?

No... because the dermatone/nerves for the guts at around T10/T11 also innervate the scrotum... c'mon!

 

[Sammich117]

I have been watching porn videos since middle school. For a guy like me without any real lab experience, porn videos have always been a good lecture for me.

Wow.

That is way more information than I ever needed to know.

Nor do I see how this at all relates to the thread. Are you really bragging about porn?

 

[HurricaneKatt]

Your little brother's story sounds cute. But truth be told, I can be full at a restaurant and have no room for substantial food but can still be not too full for dessert. I don't know what it is but it has always been true.

It is one of the Truths of Life... 😉

 

[JPMo]

1. I thought girls had a penis in their butts, that's why they sit down when they pee.

2. I remember being like 5 or 6 and getting erections, I asked my dad about it. Here's the convo I remember it quite well:

Me: "Daddy why does my penis stick straight out sometimes?"

My Dad: "I don't know son, it happens to me sometimes too but I can't figure it out."

lol OMG!!!
I remember thinking that it was just a normal thing that everyone has so i would just walk around normally like it wasnt there! lol

 

[Mopp22]

When I was little and my friend told me about periods, she also told me that the eggs come out aswell as blood. I was scared after that since I thought by eggs she meant those chicken eggs you buy at the supermarket! I remember thinking how bad that would hurt haha....not far from the pain of the real thing though. Also I though that when a male and female got married a baby magically appeared in her stomach.

 

[mybubbles14]

lol OMG!!!
I remember thinking that it was just a normal thing that everyone has so i would just walk around normally like it wasnt there! lol

YIKES!!! LOL...

I wish I had something funny to share but this is thread is great nevertheless!

My school didn't have "sex-ed" as it was a very conservative christian school but they definitely scared the crap out of most of us in teaching abstinence...like some others have said they told us sperm could jump through jeans and to be careful when you're dancing and all other sorts of horror stories to scare us into chastity

 

[red10]

I thought a man and a woman had to literally sleep on top of each other to have a baby so when I wanted barbie and ken to have a baby I'd lay one on top of the other and walk away while they "slept".

 

[JPMo]

YIKES!!! LOL...

I wish I had something funny to share but this is thread is great nevertheless!

My school didn't have "sex-ed" as it was a very conservative christian school but they definitely scared the crap out of most of us in teaching abstinence...like some others have said they told us sperm could jump through jeans and to be careful when you're dancing and all other sorts of horror stories to scare us into chastity

Actually this was in a private catholic school too, but way before the sex-ed age lol

 

[eschaton88]

Ha when I was like 8 or so I had a pretty detailed knowledge of the whole egg and sperm bit but not of the actual sex. I decided that when you french-kissed a boy the sperm swam all the way up from his belly and through his tounge and into the girls, but you couldn't see or feel it. But it would only swim all the way down to the egg if you were married. I had a very detailed therory of how it could push through your skin cells to get out. And that's why people in movies were always kissing each other.

Oh also when my brother was 3 or 4 I told him that since he was still a little kid his skull wasn't closed yet so I could look through his ear and see what he was eating. I would pretend to close my eyes and after he took a bite of something I would look at his ear and tell him what he ate. He really believed it for a long time. Kids are mean.😳