Anybody else feel like they're falling waaay behind?

[dtreese]

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I do. I turn 29 in January. I halted my application process last year & didn't get in the year before. I know it's not a contest, but it's harder than it used to be since I've got 2 really good friends who are second years.

 

[Megalofyia]

I hate thinking that people I went to undergrad with are now residents. I understand how your feeling.

 

[BushBaby]

Don't even go there Dtreese and mega, we ALL have those stories.

1) Last year, a close family friend did her BS, and her Masters while all along saying she didn't want to apply to medical school. Meanwhile I am busting my butt trying to get a decent mcat score so I can apply but I get rejected. So I apply again and she changed her mind that she wanted to do medicine now...who gets in? HER...on her first try...I am on my third round🙁

2) Last year also, a coworker with a 3.0 gpa with no EC who claimed she will get like a 20 MCAT...ended up busting a 10,10,10...meanwhile "I" who tutored her got SEVERAL POINTS LESS....again, she got in and I...well u know the rest🙄

3) Another family friend, this one younger than me...she just graduated in 2002 actually. She applied and BOOM she got in. Meanwhile my old butt is reapplying again...and spring chicken over there is ahead of me.

I mean I am happy for all of them and I try to think positive thoughts and that we all have our cycle in this life...maybe it wasn't my turn to get into medical school. Everything happens for a reason but I know my turn should be coming up and when I get in, I will kiss the freaking sky.

 

[Amy B]

I know the feelings you are talking about. The class I should have been in will be third years next fall and I will only just be beginning.

Some students I tutored as undergrads beat me there, some students from the class I taught have beaten me there, some of the kids I counseled beat me there, etc....

Ok, I know, It's not a race, but it just makes you feel funny.

 

[Adapt]

Originally posted by BushBaby
Don't even go there Dtreese and mega, we ALL have those stories.

1) Last year, a close family friend did her BS, and her Masters while all along saying she didn't want to apply to medical school. Meanwhile I am busting my butt trying to get a decent mcat score so I can apply but I get rejected. So I apply again and she changed her mind that she wanted to do medicine now...who gets in? HER...on her first try...I am on my third round🙁

2) Last year also, a coworker with a 3.0 gpa with no EC who claimed she will get like a 20 MCAT...ended up busting a 10,10,10...meanwhile "I" who tutored her got SEVERAL POINTS LESS....again, she got in and I...well u know the rest🙄

3) Another family friend, this one younger than me...she just graduated in 2002 actually. She applied and BOOM she got in. Meanwhile my old butt is reapplying again...and spring chicken over there is ahead of me.

I mean I am happy for all of them and I try to think positive thoughts and that we all have our cycle in this life...maybe it wasn't my turn to get into medical school. Everything happens for a reason but I know my turn should be coming up and when I get in, I will kiss the freaking sky.

I hope everything works out for you. Your stories are so ironic. I sincerely hope you're applying DO as well.

 

[superdevil]

BushBaby, all i can say is that TOTALLY sucks. if anyone deserves to get in this year, its you! 😉

 

[RedHeadKiddo]

Originally posted by Amy B
The class I should have been in will be third years next fall and I will only just be beginning.

Just a comment...I don't think we should be thinking about "the class we should be in" or "if I only got in two years ago I would be halfway through school" etc. The main way I have perservered through the challenge of rejection after rejection is to think that there is some larger purpose/fate that is keeping me from getting in. I know that the class I should be in has yet to matriculate! Stay positive! As an older, experienced, more mature applicant we will give so much more to a class than most who go directly from undergrad. Especially, because we have applied and "failed" before. Most med school applicants haven't failed and don't know what is like.

This is a great forum!

 

[superdevil]

for some odd reason, this just popped into my tiny little mind so i thought i'd share: i was bitching to my dad (he's 59 years old) the other day about how i'd like to do a combined degree program, but that it would take extra years away from me that i would be starting a family and earning real-world cash. to paraphrase, he basically said that i was an idiot for thinking that, and that when I'M 59 years old, those two or three extra, or 'lost' years won't mean a damn thing. he said that if i didn't go for it, then looking back in anger when i'm middle-aged or older will be far more of a penalty than being an MD at 28 or 30. and you know what, he's totally right. i'd rather do everything right and slowly than wrong and quickly!

i know its probably depressing to think that it took an extra couple of years to get where you want to go, and that others did it quicker or easier, but when you're old and grey, you probably won't give a sh.t! 😀

 

[BushBaby]

Originally posted by superdevil
BushBaby, all i can say is that TOTALLY sucks. if anyone deserves to get in this year, its you! 😉

You know what? I feel the like the grandma of SDN. Feels like I've been posting here forever and yet I have not gotten accepted yet. Well, this better be the year...cause I've about had it.

 

[dtreese]

Originally posted by BushBaby
You know what? I feel the like the grandma of SDN. Feels like I've been posting here forever and yet I have not gotten accepted yet. Well, this better be the year...cause I've about had it.

I feel the same way, Bushy. And I don't wanna take the $#&*( MCAT again. At least Kaplan will only be $400 this time.

 

[Ol'Girl]

Hehehe, I like this thread.

About half my friends became lawyers, the other half doctors. The doctor set are all finishing their residencies, and me, i will start med school next fall.

Don't look at it as "falling behind"! We've actually lived our lives a bit first, whereas my friends who are now doctors complain that they are trying to catch up. Many of them have a hard time finding boyfriends/girlfriends and envy me for having traveled, for my experiences and relationships, while I envy them for their career path. They complain to me about being "behind", just as much as I do!

 

[dtreese]

Yeah, I know I'm not falling behind really, but I still feel that way. Kinda like knowing you're depressed doesn't fix the depression.

 

[snapdad]

Y'know...I really appreciate this thread...seriously. I finally made peace with how long it took me to get to the point where I jumped in and actually applied to med school, while all the while people I knew were entering and finishing their professional programs. Then I found out just last night that an old friend who was *two years younger than me* is now a fully board-certified pediatric oncologist at Harvard. Great. I was depressed until I read this...it's nice to know that I'm not the only one that's had this experience.

 

[mison]

I too can relate to these stories. I am on my second cycle of applying. I just had an interview today and saw quite a few people I recognized from my graduating class. I have been lamenting for a long time over the fact that I am not on track with all the people I graduated with. But like a previous poster said, in 20 years from now when we are all doctors this time out of school will seem very insignificant. Just keep trying and I am sure we will all get in.

 

[jayski2030]

Yeah, I've been "behind" ever since leaving highschool for two years and deciding to return and get a diploma instead of a GED. But I grew up a lot during those two years, and I now have those extra experiences under my belt that everyone who did things the "right" way doesn't. Going back and finishing highschool and not settling for anything less was one of the best decisions i've made, even though it *did* set me back two years (time-wise, not intellectually). Keep your heads up by focusing on your goals, and don't compare yourselves to others. We're all individuals.

 

[supercut]

And if I hadn't taken so darn long to apply and get into med school, I'd be an attending at the top of my game now. Instead, I'm a mere intern (but it's still pretty cool because I do get to do a few operations here and there)

All of you folks (those who stated an age anyway) are much younger than I was at your stage. I started med school at age 38, on my second try applying.

If it's really what you want to do, then do what you can realisitically to make it happen. I was fortunate in that, at the time I applied, I was living in a state with a state medical school that limits the application pool to state residents and residents of surronding states. They also have a tradition of meeting with those applicants who were rejected and going over what could be done to strengthen the application.

I'd recommend anyone who doesn't get in request a conference with an admissions rep to go over your application. The worst that can happen is they say no. I actually did this with two schools. One is the school that I wound up graduation from.

 

[emanresu]

Originally posted by Ol'Girl
Hehehe, I like this thread.

About half my friends became lawyers, the other half doctors. The doctor set are all finishing their residencies, and me, i will start med school next fall.

Don't look at it as "falling behind"! We've actually lived our lives a bit first, whereas my friends who are now doctors complain that they are trying to catch up. Many of them have a hard time finding boyfriends/girlfriends and envy me for having traveled, for my experiences and relationships, while I envy them for their career path. They complain to me about being "behind", just as much as I do!

Ol'Girl's right on the mark!

I'll be 29 when class begins. Since undergrad, I've traveled the world, worked odd jobs, found love, married her, became a dad, and now I'm ready for medical school. I'm afraid that if I had went earlier, we would have postponed adding on to the family. That would have been tragic. If we would have waited, we probably would have postponed until after school, after residency, after felowship, after securing a job. By then (if we still could have a child), we would each have one foot in the grave by the time of our kids' HS graduations.

Your children are all that matter; you'll really understand this when you have your own. Also, my son is an amazing source of strength that I was not aware of, previously. When Mel Gibson's character in We Were Soldiers was asked how he felt about being a father and a soldier, he replied that one makes him better at the other.

As usual, I went way off subject - please forgive the tangent. My point is: Don't postpone your happiness while waiting for the ADCOM to realize your a better applicant than the undergrad candy striper with higher marks.

 

[Goober]

Originally posted by Chrisobean
this will probably come out the wrong way, so my apologies if i insult anyone, BUT

who would you rather have treating you - some 4.0 ivy league brainiac who has never failed at anything and got into every school he applied to.. OR someone who has lived a little, who knows the value of "failure" (i use the word loosely), who wipes their kids' runny noses and takes care of their parents....

Depends-

For a surgeon, I would take the brainiac

For Primary care doc- all else being equal it wouldn't matter that much.

 

[Aaron Earles]

It took me 4 years to finally get into medical school (accepted on third attempt) and I can honestly say looking back on things, that I am glad that it happened the way it did. I have learned so much about life in general, how to deal with working in the public sector, dealing with a difficult relationship and breakup, having illnesses in the family... the works.

I have only been a member of this Forum for about a week, and I have been touched by many of the stories that I have read on these threads. It was comforting , in a sense, to know that I was not alone. One thing that being rejected twice does is teach us a valuable lesson, in something that all physicians should have.... patience.....

When I got the call from the school that accepted me, I was in shock... I could not believe that I finally was given a chance to live my dream. All the sacrifices, the heartaches, the agony of rejection, losing close friends, everything... was well worth it.

I will be 27 years old when I start in August 2004, and I plan to enjoy every second of medical school. I know that med school is very difficult, but I am anxious to begin. I can also say this.... once you finally get accepted.... you appreciate the sacrifices that we make to gain our goals.

I hope that everyone has a great Holiday Season. Good luck with getting acceptances.

NEVER GIVE UP!

 

[camstah]

i'm really glad this forum was started...nice to know i'm not the only one with friends four years ahead of me in the game....but has anyone had a difficult time with their parents during this process? i have.......it seems i'm now labeled as the aimless kid who better find a career other than medicine....

 

[Aaron Earles]

Camstah,

I sympathize with you. If I didnt have great support from my parents, I may have given up after the second time that I applied. I dont mean any disrespect towards your parents, but if you really want to be a doctor, you will have to learn to overlook their comments. Trust me, if you want to be come a doctor, you will eventually get into school.

Feel free to PM me if you want some support. I would be happy to lend a ear.

 

[BushBaby]

Originally posted by Aaron Earles
Camstah,
I sympathize with you. If I didnt have great support from my parents, I may have given up after the second time that I applied. I dont mean any disrespect towards your parents, but if you really want to be a doctor, you will have to learn to overlook their comments. Trust me, if you want to be come a doctor, you will eventually get into school.
Feel free to PM me if you want some support. I would be happy to lend a ear.

Aaron/Camstah,

I know how you both feel. My parents (mostly mother) was not fully supportive of me during the hard times I encountered when I took the mcats (3x) and during my waitlist/rejection periods two years ago.

At one time my mother told me pursue something else(like computers), because if I was having such a hard time getting to medical school how do I expect to pass out? That was a real big blow for me and from that moment I really had to pick myself up and push even harder.

Your parents mean well, but it's disheartening when they only want to be there when you are successful but on the days when you really need their support or pat on the back most, they treat you like some disappointment.

When I retook the mcat in april '03 and when I went on my interviews my mother didn't know anything. I even lied that I postponed taking the mcat. I didn't want to get the "here she goes again" look/speech.

Now that I am in, they are happy as they should be but I am still not satisfied as they now act like it's THEIR success, which just plays into the part where they only want to be there when you are successful. Meanwhile "I" did all the work in terms of motivation/studying/commitment/financial, mental and emotion support. They tell their friends about it now and SMILE, and I just sit there looking at them shaking my head. My "medical dream" was a shameful topic two weeks ago...now it's the highlight of every conversation....so fake.

What is also kinda pissing me off is my mother's attitude NOT to tell a lot of people about it yet. I am not telling everybody because I feel it's still early. As summer approaches others will come to know.
But it turns out my mother doesn't want to announce it because(as she said to my aunt) she wants me to start first and "get thru the hard part" before she tells anyone(INCASE I happen to fail out or something which will be a bigger embarrassment to her).

I mean can you imagine that!!! That was the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Basically she wants to wait until I finish my 4years (NEWS FLASH)...there is NO EASY part, all 4 years are the hard part of getting a medical degree!!!
I read thru her words as her NOT having confidence in me and she is trying to protect herself by not speaking to fast.

Luckily, I gave up on trying to please my parents long time ago. They probably think I'm doing this because of their dream of having a "doctor in the family"....but I'm NOT.

They did the same thing to my elder sister 5 years ago. She went to an invy league school to major in chemical engineering and everyone was soo proud. But then she ended up hating chemistry, failing chemistry and switching to an English Lit. major (something SHE enjoyed)...MAJOR disappointment for mom and dad...and they gave up on her.

Don't do this for them or anyone else, do it for yourself and never give up.

 

[Califlower]

Hey! At least (most of) y'all are in the application process... for me, getting to that point seems to be as long as forever! I'll also be in my late 20's or early 30's when I apply...

I just had a question -- how do other life milestones fit in, as far as non-traditional premed life goes? Can you really have a family and study for the MCAT or start med school? I'm sure when it happens I'll take care of things somehow, but I worry... like what happens if in the middle of medical school I bust out (pardon my phrasing) with a baby? I'd have to miss school or halt the whole process altogether! Any experiences regarding?

 

[Dr.Wolkower]

if you want to get a great education get usa financial aid and get a good residency and its 100percent in english apply to sackler,I know lots of nonjewidh graduautes who had a great time there.

http://med.tau.ac.il/ny/the_school.htm

they interview in the USA their office is in NYC and they are a New York State chartered school-no fifth pathway

 

[care bear]

Originally posted by BushBaby
Aaron/Camstah,

I know how you both feel. My parents (mostly mother) was not fully supportive of me during the hard times I encountered when I took the mcats (3x) and during my waitlist/rejection periods two years ago.

At one time my mother told me pursue something else(like computers), because if I was having such a hard time getting to medical school how do I expect to pass out? That was a real big blow for me and from that moment I really had to pick myself up and push even harder.

Your parents mean well, but it's disheartening when they only want to be there when you are successful but on the days when you really need their support or pat on the back most, they treat you like some disappointment.

When I retook the mcat in april '03 and when I went on my interviews my mother didn't know anything. I even lied that I postponed taking the mcat. I didn't want to get the "here she goes again" look/speech.

Now that I am in, they are happy as they should be but I am still not satisfied as they now act like it's THEIR success, which just plays into the part where they only want to be there when you are successful. Meanwhile "I" did all the work in terms of motivation/studying/commitment/financial, mental and emotion support. They tell their friends about it now and SMILE, and I just sit there looking at them shaking my head. My "medical dream" was a shameful topic two weeks ago...now it's the highlight of every conversation....so fake.

What is also kinda pissing me off is my mother's attitude NOT to tell a lot of people about it yet. I am not telling everybody because I feel it's still early. As summer approaches others will come to know.
But it turns out my mother doesn't want to announce it because(as she said to my aunt) she wants me to start first and "get thru the hard part" before she tells anyone(INCASE I happen to fail out or something which will be a bigger embarrassment to her).

I mean can you imagine that!!! That was the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Basically she wants to wait until I finish my 4years (NEWS FLASH)...there is NO EASY part, all 4 years are the hard part of getting a medical degree!!!
I read thru her words as her NOT having confidence in me and she is trying to protect herself by not speaking to fast.

Luckily, I gave up on trying to please my parents long time ago. They probably think I'm doing this because of their dream of having a "doctor in the family"....but I'm NOT.

They did the same thing to my elder sister 5 years ago. She went to an invy league school to major in chemical engineering and everyone was soo proud. But then she ended up hating chemistry, failing chemistry and switching to an English Lit. major (something SHE enjoyed)...MAJOR disappointment for mom and dad...and they gave up on her.

Don't do this for them or anyone else, do it for yourself and never give up.

hi bb, just wanted to say i know exactly how you feel about your parents! my mom was so afraid that i would not graduate college (because i got a C in biochem 1st semester my senior year- there was no reason to worry at all about not graduating!!) that she didn't send out my graduation invitations until may; graduation was that same month. i was so upset when she told me later that that's why a lot of my family hadn't come; they hadn't been invited until late! of course after graduation she tells EVERYONE abt their daughter who graduated from YALE. . .
and now that i started med school and had issues, and decided to take this semester off, you would think that i had erected pornographic statues in my family's front lawn or something 🙂
i really think that was one of the hardest times for her to deal with; she dealt with it much harder than me and of course her biggest concern was 'what will we tell people'?? i feel/felt sorry for her of course but the truth is i really think it was good for her to see me struggling with something and dealing with the fact that her offspring is not perfect. she has actually come to terms with that a lot more now, although she has not mentioned anything about my leave of absence to anyone in the family and i really don't think she ever will 🙂 which is fine, whatever makes them happy!

(sigh) sorry, this really has nothing to do with the re-applicants thread, i just saw your post and it made me want to vent some , and say that you are not the only one who has this weight to bear.

but after all they have invested so much, their work & their life into us that i do understand where they are coming from- even though they make mistakes in dealing w/their kids and can't have a perfect attitude all the time. . ..

 

[Chrisobean]

well with the way my application cycle is going, it looks like i will have to re-apply again, oh boy #3. which means if im lucky ill be 25 when i start. not very old, BUT i always intended to get married and start with the babies after my residency. i have already given up on going for surgery b/c it just takes soo long. i know that once i am there, that a few years wont make a difference. but it seems like the majority of people who are saying this are men. i know they want families too, and that can happen for them any time in their life. although this sounds cliche, my clock is ticking! i would like to enjoy being married and my husband before i start popping out babies, so on this timescale i will probably be near 40 when i have my first kid. my mom was 35 when she had me, granted i was the last one, but when i was younger i was always a little embarrassed that my parents were so much older than everyone elses. yeah i know that seems dumb, but not when you are little and all your friends are the first kids in their family and you are the last.
i want to be able to enjoy my kid(s) too!

what do all the chicks have to say about this?

 

[scubadiva]

Originally posted by Chrisobean
which means if im lucky ill be 25 when i start. not very old, BUT i always intended to get married and start with the babies after my residency.

i know that once i am there, that a few years wont make a difference. but it seems like the majority of people who are saying this are men.

what do all the chicks have to say about this?

I am going to be 25 when I start school next year. When I was younger (like 22 ), I used to feel panic that I wasn't in school for all of the reasons that you've stated.

Things have definitely changed and are different for me now. I have NO CONTROL over whether or not I get married and have kids. I refuse to just keep searching just for the sake of getting married and having a family. I figure, if that part of my life is supposed to happen, it will happen and just fall into place. Why go around like *some* of the women out there whose only goal is to get married and have kids. Not that having a family isn't important, BUT you have to realize that those are really not events that you can plan.

Having a career, on the other hand, IS something that you have control over. This is probably why getting into school and eventually having a career causes me more anxiety than whether or not I'm going to find the one. I am not going to sit around while I'm looking for my soulmate (if so one happens to exist). I think if he's meant to stumble upon me, then he will while I'm actively doing whatever it is that I know I have a certain amount of control over.

Time will pass regardless. That's why my question to myself has always been, "How can I fill in that time constructively?" Actively searching and moping about not being married (I have friends who do this) is not a very constructive use of energy or time (at least in my opinion. Make something of yourself, find your life's passions, and have fun while you're at it.

Yes, I would normally worry over the family/husband situation since it is something I would eventually like to have, but this is not really something that I can control. Work, career, school, and enjoying myself is a constructive use of time that I can control.

So, don't worry. I used to worry about this, or mayber, more so, ponder this (a very minute amount) when I was younger. I think it's actually supposed to be the other way around - the older that I am, the more I should be concerned about these things.

Good luck! It will happen. 🙂

 

[Chrisobean]

thanks for the reply.
just to clarify.. i am not one who sits around waiting for someone to sweep me off my feet and make babies with.. i have already found him. i am very motivated to establish my career. being a doctor is definitely my #1 concern right now, and he understands that as well. we've talked about this alot. he's getting his PhD. so if i start next year and his research goes ok, we will finish at the same time. i feel that is the point when we can start our lives together... school just takes up too much time to start things sooner. and im anxious to get there ASAP, although i know it is out of my hands right now.
i was just wondering if anyone has considered the baby situation. i guess i am just panicking, waiting to hear from schools is totally draining me... and i start to think crazy things, i just wanted them out of my head!

 

[scubadiva]

Hey Chrisobean,

That's cool that you found him .

I just don't worry about that stuff, maybe I should. 😕

In any case, I think it will fall into place and happen when the time is right.

Good luck!

 

[Airzonk]

Good thread,

I just got rejected from the worst D.O. school around and it sucks ass. I'm 30 and will have to not only retake the MCAT but re-apply an wait one or two more years. This process is becoming very disheartening. I just don't think I understand what they want. Ive been a paramedic for 12 years an EMT 3 years prior to that. I worked through school as a paramedic - full time for a large inner city service. I graduated with above a 3.0. My MCAT is in the mid-20's i mean wtf. Let me in already... Oh yeah ive been a full-time researcher for the last 2 years. I hate you admissions committee grrrr.. Ok i vented thanks all. I guess a post-bac is in my future but godamnit i'm getting old. I really want to get on with my life and not be stuck in this undergraduate hell. Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[Goober]

Originally posted by Airzonk
Good thread,

I graduated with above a 3.0. My MCAT is in the mid-20's i mean wtf. Let me in already... Oh yeah ive been a full-time researcher for the last 2 years.

Umm just of curosity, do you think that those are competitive stats?

 

[Airzonk]

LOL, no goober i don't. Time to get them up right?

 

[Airzonk]

Oh wait I just read your previous posts Goober. Wow you must read every forum and post reply's to everyones rants. I made the list hah.

late


My name is Jerry Ober but my friends call me Goober for short... (


House of 1000 corpses

 

[sherman1]

I will be 31 when i start school in the fall ...just about the time many of my friends are finishing their residencies
But I know I am ready...I have lived a good life since college.. lived in 2 cities, worked in the lab at Johns Hopkins, Gone to grad school, gotten married and worked for a large Pharmaceutical company...I wouldn't trade these experiences for the world.. They have given me a unique perspective and maturity that will serve me well in school ...

 

[dtreese]

Woohoo! UofL med school called me this afternoon to interview me tomorrow! They had a spot open up in the interviews! There's a blizzard headed to Hades, folks!

 

[osteo emt]

Airzonk, just out of curiosity, what do u consider the worst do school? also how many did u apply to and are any still considering u? hold tight if they are!!

 

[Airzonk]

I was just a bit peeved. My first rejection so don't put too much weight in my words. I don't consider the d.o. school the worst at all (LECOM). I'm sure they don't deviate much. I have plenty of more apps out there and like Gery Ober above said you need the numbers.

 

[camstah]

with regard to the babies discussion...
i'll be 26 if/when i start in the fall.....i think i've already found the one, so for me right now getting into med school is top priority....i've thought about how i'll be able to fit in having a family and everything while going to med school, doing residency, etc.....and i figure, well, it'll work itself out....i won't stress about it now, because things change, situations feel different later on, and i'll know when the time is right.....thinking about it now is sort of an exercise in futility....a friend of mine who finished her second year in june got pregnant during that year, and has taken this year off to have the baby and do research....she'll start her third year in the fall.....it can be done, and when the time is right, you'll know...and don't worry about being older as a parent, as long as you're "cool" your kids won't mind 🙂