- Joined
- Feb 17, 2008
- Messages
- 1,053
- Reaction score
- 3
- Points
- 4,551
Hear anything about the place?
Anyone applying to ZSOM?
- Thread starter Cegar
- Start date
- Joined
- Nov 5, 2007
- Messages
- 407
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 0
- Pre-Medical
lol
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2008
- Messages
- 22
- Reaction score
- 1
- Points
- 4,571
- Location
- Medical School, USA
- Medical Student
You ABSOLUTELY need to apply to Zlatko School of Medicine!
We're the #1 leader in US medical education and the first school to open west of the Mississippi in 45 years!
Our founder, TG Barry Zlatko, MD, DO, OD, PharmD, DDS, PhD, DVM, DMV, PsyD, MPH, MPG, and Grand Pooh-Bah of the Ancient Arabic Order of the Nobles of the Mystic Shrine is truly a visionary!
We're the #1 leader in US medical education and the first school to open west of the Mississippi in 45 years!
Our founder, TG Barry Zlatko, MD, DO, OD, PharmD, DDS, PhD, DVM, DMV, PsyD, MPH, MPG, and Grand Pooh-Bah of the Ancient Arabic Order of the Nobles of the Mystic Shrine is truly a visionary!
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2008
- Messages
- 22
- Reaction score
- 1
- Points
- 4,571
- Location
- Medical School, USA
- Medical Student
This is not true. We do not require the MCAT, we only require your MDApplicants profile, your paypal application fee and your application essay.
Please review our application page before spreading lies. I'd hate to think you're affiliated with the Keebler Elves.
- Joined
- Aug 18, 1983
- Messages
- 155
- Reaction score
- 1
- Points
- 4,571
Thank you, Paul, for calling my attention to this thread. Point of fact, the candidate with the 48 MCAT was not rejected because his MCAT was 48. That was his credit score.
We encourage all qualified applicants to apply and can assure you that no institutional bias that has prevented you from gaining admittance to other medical schools will be perpetuated at ZSOM. Institutional bias is one of the main factors in preventing otherwise qualified future physician leaders from attaining their degree - simply because their test scores are subpar or they have past convinctions for minor crimes such as second degree murder or drug distribution.
I think you will find we offer something for everyone at ZSOM. We actually recently granted our first M.D. diploma to a young man from Dorchester, MA, who was continually denied admittance to practice medicine due to institutional bias. They said it was because he did not finish college and had a mental disorder which prevented him from relating normally to other people without violence. But at ZSOM, we saw through these challenges and provided him with an accelerated degree. Now he runs a wonderful clinic out of the basement of his friend's house in an undisclosed location! Were he to be attending medical school through the traditional methods, he would still be slaving away in anatomy and biochemistry, learning useless trivial facts like the path of the 7th cranial nerve and the third intermediatary in the urea cycle or whatever garbage these institutions want to force you to learn so they can justify their money making schemes. Did you know that over half of US medical schools funnel all their profits to Al Qaeda?
I also pledge to you, the candidate, that I will be continually available to mentor you. I have office hours daily from 1:05 to 1:10pm. The location varies by day of the week and moon phase, but you can contact my administrative assistant.
We encourage all qualified applicants to apply and can assure you that no institutional bias that has prevented you from gaining admittance to other medical schools will be perpetuated at ZSOM. Institutional bias is one of the main factors in preventing otherwise qualified future physician leaders from attaining their degree - simply because their test scores are subpar or they have past convinctions for minor crimes such as second degree murder or drug distribution.
I think you will find we offer something for everyone at ZSOM. We actually recently granted our first M.D. diploma to a young man from Dorchester, MA, who was continually denied admittance to practice medicine due to institutional bias. They said it was because he did not finish college and had a mental disorder which prevented him from relating normally to other people without violence. But at ZSOM, we saw through these challenges and provided him with an accelerated degree. Now he runs a wonderful clinic out of the basement of his friend's house in an undisclosed location! Were he to be attending medical school through the traditional methods, he would still be slaving away in anatomy and biochemistry, learning useless trivial facts like the path of the 7th cranial nerve and the third intermediatary in the urea cycle or whatever garbage these institutions want to force you to learn so they can justify their money making schemes. Did you know that over half of US medical schools funnel all their profits to Al Qaeda?
I also pledge to you, the candidate, that I will be continually available to mentor you. I have office hours daily from 1:05 to 1:10pm. The location varies by day of the week and moon phase, but you can contact my administrative assistant.
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2006
- Messages
- 2,884
- Reaction score
- 12
- Points
- 4,551
- Location
- crazyland
- Resident [Any Field]
This place sounds great! Do you think they accept transfers?
Check out the website everyone!
Zlatko School of Medicine
Check out the website everyone!
Zlatko School of Medicine
- Joined
- Aug 18, 1983
- Messages
- 155
- Reaction score
- 1
- Points
- 4,571
We accept transfer students, however they must meet our rigorous credit screening criteria. If you have been dismissed from another academic institution due to financial reasons, you need not apply.
All your nijnas cannot stop the tiny feet of the Keebler Evles Martyr Brigade. We have taken your frontpage and we will take your school too when we find it. Nothing will remain but rubble and plastic pink flamingos.
They only wish that they could be affiliated with a fine institution like Stewart.
PS - Paul had to sleep with the Dean to get in because his credit scores were so low.
PS - Paul had to sleep with the Dean to get in because his credit scores were so low.
- Joined
- Aug 18, 1983
- Messages
- 155
- Reaction score
- 1
- Points
- 4,571
They have approached us for a partnership but I don't feel it's going to work out. For one thing, our office staff is much sexier than their office staff. On the annual review of medical schools in the Journal of Dubious Medical Practice (JDMP), which incidentally has an impact factor of 6x10^15, our office staff was ranked as having the highest titillation factor of any current medical school. I think all students should consider this factor when choosing which medical school to attend.
As opposed to certain factors which are completely meaningless to medical students yet impact rankings (such as research grant money, number of faculty, and campus modernity), the titillation factor has an immediate and measureable impact on all students and their sense of satisfaction. We are in the process of installing a state of the art stripper pole in the admissions office which will take full advantage of this.
See! Here it is! Proof that the staff at this school is incompetent. Anyone who is anybody knows that the Journal of Dubious Medical Practice is abbrviated JDuMP. You are a fake! A fake! My elven brethren curse you and your foul comrades!
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2008
- Messages
- 22
- Reaction score
- 1
- Points
- 4,571
- Location
- Medical School, USA
- Medical Student
Hi everyone,
I just realized that I never introduced myself properly.
I'm Paul Leibowitz, and I'm a student at the new Barry Zlatko School of Medicine, better known as ZSOM. I just want to tell you that ZSOM is AWESOME. That's why they even rhyme, you see that? ZSOM rhymes with AWESOME. It's all part of the plan.
As you can see, we obviously have some security issues at ZSOM because ZSOM is so AWESOME. There are people like this elf from the Elves' Martyrs Brigade trying to shut us down. But we're not going to let that ever happen, and you know why? That's right, ZSOM is AWESOME!
You don't have to just take my word for it though. Check out these testimonials from some of my classmates and me. And you can also view a video that I made about why we need to have so much security at ZSOM. It's a dangerous world out there, but it's worth it to be going to a medical school that's as AWESOME as ZSOM.
I just realized that I never introduced myself properly.
I'm Paul Leibowitz, and I'm a student at the new Barry Zlatko School of Medicine, better known as ZSOM. I just want to tell you that ZSOM is AWESOME. That's why they even rhyme, you see that? ZSOM rhymes with AWESOME. It's all part of the plan.
As you can see, we obviously have some security issues at ZSOM because ZSOM is so AWESOME. There are people like this elf from the Elves' Martyrs Brigade trying to shut us down. But we're not going to let that ever happen, and you know why? That's right, ZSOM is AWESOME!
You don't have to just take my word for it though. Check out these testimonials from some of my classmates and me. And you can also view a video that I made about why we need to have so much security at ZSOM. It's a dangerous world out there, but it's worth it to be going to a medical school that's as AWESOME as ZSOM.
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2008
- Messages
- 16,027
- Reaction score
- 2
- Points
- 4,531
- Medical Student
ohhh that's what this is...
The name Paul (In the youtube videos) is eerily similar to another name-Saul. Coincidence? I think not.
It's elaborate all right. I only wish it were a joke. But, it's real. Google "MCAT" and click on their ad, or visit their website. Would Staphen Colbert participate if this were a joke? I think not. They've even been placed in the dictionary. They have to be stopped. I urge you to contact the local authorities with all due haste.
- Joined
- Aug 18, 1983
- Messages
- 155
- Reaction score
- 1
- Points
- 4,571
Underdog, I fear you will have very little success with that version of the Konami code. If you try it that way, you will be left with only 3 measley lives in Contra and you will also be unable to finish Jackal. up up down down left right left right B A Start Select Start.
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2006
- Messages
- 2,658
- Reaction score
- 8
- Points
- 4,591
- Age
- 49
- Location
- Lake Charles, LA
- Academic Administration
The only ZCOM to which I'd consider applying is the Zombie College of Medicine.
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2008
- Messages
- 204
- Reaction score
- 3
- Points
- 4,571
- Pre-Medical
This is my favorite part:
Q: Why is the location of your school a secret?
A: Due to the controversial and free-thinking nature of Dr. Barry Zlatko, his life is in constant danger. Forces as disparate as Al Qaeda, the Mossad, the IRA, the IRS and the Elf Keebler Martyrs Brigade have worked together in an attempt to assassinate or otherwise verbally harass Dr. Zlatko. The location is released to our accepted students once their first check clears. No guests are allowed on campus, this policy is enforced by ninjas.
Q: Why is the location of your school a secret?
A: Due to the controversial and free-thinking nature of Dr. Barry Zlatko, his life is in constant danger. Forces as disparate as Al Qaeda, the Mossad, the IRA, the IRS and the Elf Keebler Martyrs Brigade have worked together in an attempt to assassinate or otherwise verbally harass Dr. Zlatko. The location is released to our accepted students once their first check clears. No guests are allowed on campus, this policy is enforced by ninjas.
A wise man. May your days be long and filled with toilet paper.
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2007
- Messages
- 78
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 0
- Non-Student
F'n brilliant. I totally blew my spring break off, went to the lab to work, and these guys grabbed that chance to start a med school. Wow, I am such a slacker.
BTW, the Modern Tool pic... I snarfed a wassabi pea.
Oh, and I emailed the link to Saul
BTW, the Modern Tool pic... I snarfed a wassabi pea.
Oh, and I emailed the link to Saul
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2008
- Messages
- 304
- Reaction score
- 3
- Points
- 4,571
- Location
- Honolulu HI
- Resident [Any Field]
I like the picture of "students learning invasive phrenology."
Q: Where are the clinical rotations being done?
A: Clinical rotations are the least concern of a new medical school applicant.
😆
A: Clinical rotations are the least concern of a new medical school applicant.
😆
