Anyone else bothered or am I just a stiff...

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i'm not a big fan of it either. also don't like when people say things are "gay" either. i think there are more appropriate words to convey what people are really trying to say without being offensive to the actual ******ed and gay communities. i wouldn't want anyone saying "that's so jamaican" or "that's so female" to express their disdain at something.

op, you may enjoy http://disabledfeminists.com/2009/10/16/ableist-word-profile-******ed/
 
Baron Samedi said:
...when it comes to people using the word "******" or "******ed"? Personally, I think as future and current health care professionals it's pretty low brow to use it. But maybe that's just me?
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I'll admit, I used to use those terms (but not nearly to the extend of some people). At some point you realize it's a lazy and disrespectful use of language. Now I definitely cringe when people use it unnecessarily.

However, I am all about using F-bombs and other "colorful metaphors" when in the appropriate context and setting...
 
Nun_ruler.jpg
 
yea i find it disrespectful and cringe-worthy, just like using gay in a negative way, although in full disclosure, i used to use both of them freely when i was a bit younger and just a lot more oblivious.
 
I have a mentally handicapped brother, and I agree - that word is hurtful.

Before anyone gives the trite "well, we say 'that's lame' and that's okay, so 'that's ******ed' must be okay too", remember that people who might be offended by 'lame' are more than capable of telling you so.

Using the R-word is weak because you're making fun of people who, depending on the condition, are often incapable of telling you it offends or hurts them. People with mental handicaps are aware of what the word means, and it would be awful to reference something bad by saying "that's so ******ed" in front of a person with a mental disability - and if you don't feel comfortable saying it in front of them, then it's just not something that should be said at all.
 
I only use '******ed' in the following manner:

"When it comes to the sciences, I'm ******ed."

I think it's okay when you're using it in the sense of 'slow' - I was a musician for many years, and I can't tell you how many times I got in trouble for yelling "Ritard! Ritard!" at other musicians. But in musical terms, as well as non-clinical, it just means 'slow'. It's the first meaning I learned, and it's the one I stick with.

When someone says, "you're such a ******" or "that's ******ed", I think it's offensive. But in relation to someone who is describing a skill or aspect of themselves, I don't think it's that bad. I'm assuming you're all up in arms over the earlier post someone made about being 'retarted' at lab work. If she really is slow at learning lab techniques, I think it's an adequate description.

After all, slow isn't always a bad thing. I may be ******ed in the sciences, but that just means I have to work harder and I appreciate my grades more. I don't know about the OP of that thread, but she could probably attest to what I mean.

But then, maybe it's just me.
 
I swear like a sailor, but a SWEAR is different than a SLUR. I wouldn't use the word ******ed any more than I'd use the words gay, jewish or rape to describe something unfortunate (using those three as an example because they are all very common in some of the games I play online, as in, "that dude is totally jewing me out of my items" or "I f'ing raped that guy" or "this new patch is really GAY") +pissed+


It's just being offensive out of laziness or for the sake of being offensive. There's no worth to that.
 
I am strongly tempted to facetiously use all the slurs that have been mentioned in this thread.
 
morning said:
I swear like a sailor, but a SWEAR is different than a SLUR. I wouldn't use the word ******ed any more than I'd use the words gay, jewish or rape to describe something unfortunate (using those three as an example because they are all very common in some of the games I play online, as in, "that dude is totally jewing me out of my items" or "I f'ing raped that guy" or "this new patch is really GAY") +pissed+


It's just being offensive out of laziness or for the sake of being offensive. There's no worth to that.
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ugh. when you look at the non offensive words that belong in those sentences, it makes it even more offensive. these people need to learn words like "rob/bullying", "beat" (pwned? goodness i've never typed that before but i think that's the right usage...), "ineffective/worthless". and then i hate it when people will say the rest of us (who don't want to offend because we wouldn't want to be in turn offended) are being "too pc". really? saying kind and respectful things and not putting down groups of people is too pc? it's saddening, really.
 
MisterVeil said:
I am strongly tempted to facetiously use all the slurs that have been mentioned in this thread.
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Whatever the going price is for giving in to temptations, I am willing to pay it to watch the sparks fly.
 
pvmed said:
man, i must just have cooler, more laid back friends than you guys. How do you insult each other if you cannot use slurs?

what fun is a drinking at a party if you cannot call your friend a "pu$$y" for not finishing his beer, and act "******ed" when you're falling over drunk?

when you get down to it, people who are looking to be offended so they can act indignant will find ways to be offended.
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While you're at it, compare prominent politicians to Hitler and protest at---

Oh, wait. That's been done already. Oops!

ALSO: Just because everybody does it doesn't make it morally or politically correct.
 
Baron Samedi said:
...when it comes to people using the word "******" or "******ed"? Personally, I think as future and current health care professionals it's pretty low brow to use it. But maybe that's just me?
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are you stiff?
 
pvmed said:
if someone ever said "He's trying to bully me out of money" to me, I'd probably kick him in the nuts (ovaries, in this case) and steal his lunch money.
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That is the most ******ed statement I have heard someone make in a long time.
 
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pvmed said:
if someone ever said "He's trying to bully me out of money" to me, I'd probably kick him in the nuts (ovaries, in this case) and steal his lunch money.
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I prefer to use unnecessarily long or obscure vernacular for this sort of entertainment.

Like...

Guy: Come here often?
Me: Yes, I do frequently patronize this establishment. I find it to be a significant amelioration to my customary routine.
Guy: Oh yeah?
Me: Affirmative.
Guy: I'm just going to move on to the next girl...
 
On a more serious note, when I hear "******ed", I associate it with "backwards". I never associate "******ed" with mental ******ation.

I'm not sure if anyone else does this...
 
pvmed said:
While I don't agree with what you say, I'll defend to the death your right to say it.
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Now THAT is something I appreciate! I'll do the same for you, babe. 😉
 
pvmed said:
No one is saying it's morally or politically correct. It's just uncouth to use ******ed around people on whom you are trying to make a good impression or whom you know would be offended by it, just as you shouldn't swear around them. If you really care so much, call people on it when they say it. Social groups LOVE it when people who are outside of the group get offended for them.

Next time you're around a bunch of black people, try this: if one of them calls the other his "nigg-a" say, "You should not use disparaging remarks like that. It degrades our society to the point of anarchy," and see if they laugh their asses off.

For good measure, this conversation is ******ed. I'm going to get raped by my work out tomorrow, and then my friend will probably try to jew me into buying him lunch. I will tell him to quit being a cigarette (starts with an f, ends with an aggot) and buy his own lunch.

While I don't agree with what you say, I'll defend to the death your right to say it. America is awesome isn't it? I think that's one thing we can all agree on.
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Only as long as you agree to the fact that SDN isn't bound by the first amendment, nor is any private establishment. 😉

Personally (and this is my opinion not SDN's) I find using those words deplorable and a sign of an inability to articulate. There are much better words to use and I frequently correct my sister and some close friends when they use those words. I think anymore most of them say it out of habit and when I point out that there are better words they agree. That being said, people will continue to use the words because not all people care how others are affected. It's whatever.
 
I'm surprised that "******ed" (not to mention "gay," "rape" and other obviously hurtful language) is even being debated on a board for people who, by and large, are devoting their lives to pursuing careers in medicine. You'd think that as aspiring health care workers, we'd all develop certain patterns of behavior based on the fact that much of the rest of our lives will be spent working with people who are often in an incredibly vulnerable state (potentially without being able or willing to articulate their points of view) and with whom we have no preexisting rapport to establish guidelines of effective communication. This consideration isn't limited to a hospital setting; when you yell slurs like that in a bar or social situation, it can still be hurtful or threatening to people around you. To respond to this very real possibility by assuming a defensive and immature "whatever, I can say what I want and people should just deal with it and stop being so sensitive" stance is incredibly lacking in empathy and common courtesy. This isn't about anyone's "right" to use this language, no one is challenging that. This is about people's decision to refrain from exercising that right based on their empathy and common decency and the hope that we who should be especially sensitive and attuned to the people around us would gladly refrain. What do you lose by doing a bit of self-censoring and using language that it less loaded with hurtful meaning and history for certain groups of people? Very little. There are plenty of other words you can use to express the same thing without being a jerk about it. What do you achieve by using that type of language? You make the facilities and community that people around you are inhabiting potentially a less safe and welcoming space, you intimidate and hurt people who are embarrassed or unable to speak up, and you reinforce prejudices and stereotypes against certain groups of people. I don't understand how anyone who feels like they have the characteristics to make a good doctor could defend their continued use of slurs? 😕 Sorry if I am being a crazy person right now...it is late haha.
 
pvmed said:
Hehe, I do know that forums are not bounded by those laws, moderators everywhere make that abundantly clear. I will continue to use whatever words I choose around my friends, as I do not give two craps how they are affected :laugh:.

I think the lesson here is to watch what you're saying around people you don't know very well, or whose personal use and acceptance of aforementioned insults is not apparent to you.

However, being adaptive socially will force you into situations where words like these are commonplace. You will isolate yourself immediately if you act indignant and get all offended by what they say, and it can cost you. Most important in being social is to not pass judgment on people (until you get to know them well, then go nuts!). Some of the best, most altruistic, most enriching people you will meet will be very uncouth. Just go with the flow guys!

Ironically, I am guilty of judging people in this thread (internet anonymity for you). In my defense, if we had just met in real life, this topic probably wouldn't have come up in the first conversation 🙂
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I agree. I totally don't bring the issue up on a first date or anything. There are about 4 people who I mention it to ever.

By and large the population uses the terms in a derogatory way. I'm a bigger fan of leading by example than judging anyway.
 
Since '******ed' has come under fire, I've replaced it in my vocabulary with 'autistic.'

Keep the language you use with your friends and the language you use in the workplace separate. Problem solved.

Now if you're suggesting I shouldn't say whatever I damn well please in the privacy of my own home, that's just plain ******ed autistic.
 
pvmed said:
I must say I take issue with this part of your post. My friends and I go back and forth with insults that offend you so much all the time. It has nothing to do with my motivations for becoming a doctor or my doctor-like characteristics. I censor myself when it is necessary to censor, as we all do. It's not like I go all Kenny Powers on people who I do not know or people who are not comfortable with that kind of language.

In a professional setting, none of this nonsense, including general swearing, is acceptable. I hope you don't think I feel that way.
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I respectfully disagree. I think It does have something to do with your "doctor-like characteristics." I'm on board with not needing to call out other people all the time and leading by example instead, but what might seem like good fun to you and your friends can make the spaces you inhabit scarier and less welcoming places to a lot of people you might not even be paying attention to. There are lots of ways to insult people and go back and forth without being cruel--especially in terms of homophobic or sexist slurs that can make people who don't know you literally fear for their physical well-being in whatever social environment they may be in. I feel like the ethical motivation and the behavioral habits that are required in good medicine overlap with an attitude of some minimal overall level of care for the well being of the people in your vicinity and in your community; there are constantly people around you that you don't know and who you might be harming by using some especially loaded or hurtful words. That doesn't mean that you don't have to swear, that you have to act professionally around friends, or that you have to be totally uptight, but it does mean that you might want to think twice before calling your bud a *** or gay across the bar, or making disrespectful/humorous/insulting comments about rape/sexual abuse/mental disability in an environment shared with anyone other than your closest friends.
 
I dunno... I have a severely physically and mentally handicapped sister, and honestly when people ask me to list the problems she has, I say she's ******ed sometimes cuz it does mean the same thing as 'mental ******ation' to me.
But before anyone decides they want to send out a group with pitch forks after me, in high school I would beat the sh** out of anyone who went up to my sister's handicapped class in the lunch room and call them any kinda name that they even tried to make seem bad... they coulda called them ******s or a bunch of celery... I would have reacted in the same way because of the intentions of the word. So I think context is VERY important in this argument.
 
Honestly, I guess I just don't care. I know when things are appropriate and when they are not. If I am at work, class, or with people I do not know, I have a lovely language and slur filter in me that automatically turns on. If I am with close friends (and maybe we're drunk, too) then certain words come out. I know that there's never an excuse for anyone using those words, though.

However, there is always going to be a debate about what is correct to say and what isn't. I really don't get the Hilary Duff commercial when the whole premise is not saying "That's so gay," and that being bad. I mean, I get it, but I find that with all the words that are out there these days, when I'm sitting at home playing online poker and I get a bad beat and say, "That's so gay," that's my own damn business. Now, actually, I use more colorful words with something like that, but I think you get the point. I kind of think people need to lighten up a bit. If you know not to say those things around people you don't know, then who cares what I or someone else says when I'm around friends, my significant other, or by myself?

As for the OP, on an internet forum, there is not a lot you can do but just ignore it. Some don't have a filter, and honestly don't care what words they say around others. And that's not your (general "your") issue, but theirs. You might be a little bit stiff about something like this. And for the record, what people say on the internet usually does not translate to real life. Yes, we all want to be physicians, or veterinarians, or what have you, but this is an internet forum and sometimes we're able to get away with things we normally wouldn't in real life, because no one knows who we are. It's sort of an element of disguise. Obviously, if I said something on here that someone took the wrong way, they could PM me (tactfully) about it, or they could just ignore me. That's all there is to it.

Just my opinion.
 
Mentally ******ed
Physically ******ed
I use them both, as they project the exact meaning of what your trying to express.
 
UrsusHorribilis said:
"doctor-like characteristics."
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Jesus Christ, it's a job. This level of sainthood will totally lead to burn out. As long as you keep 'professional' separate from 'real life' it really shouldn't matter how you act.

Walking around in a lab-coat with your altruism on your sleeve like you're the Last Airbender is going to earn you the contempt of everyone around you.


Since '******ed' has come under fire, I've replaced it in my vocabulary with 'autistic.'
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LOL, now this guy has a sense of humor.
 
I have the ability to act different in front of different people and I will do that as necessary. In front of peers and friends, I will swear and be lax about my language. While working, talking to superiors or while being professional, I will be strict about my language.
 
The Poet Sings said:
i'm not a big fan of it either. also don't like when people say things are "gay" either. i think there are more appropriate words to convey what people are really trying to say without being offensive to the actual ******ed and gay communities. i wouldn't want anyone saying "that's so jamaican" or "that's so female" to express their disdain at something.

op, you may enjoy http://disabledfeminists.com/2009/10/16/ableist-word-profile-******ed/
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I tell my girlfriend to get back in the kitchen all the time...

I don't really say ******ed, I usually say dumb or messed up. I do say "that's gay" or "you're gay" sometimes, I know it isn't appropriate and I sorta try to limit myself.
 
Seriously? If you are going to get offended by little things people say, it is going to be a long road. You can't control other peoples choices. I don't have a problem with saying ******ed so if you were to say something to me when I wasn't talking to you, I would tell you to shove it. And if someone says something I don't agree with, too freakin bad for me. I don't let it bother me.

And to the people saying it isn't acting doctorly? Come on. For real? You really think doctors are above everyone else? There are doctors that smoke, verbally and physically abuse their wives and family, neglect their children, practice unethically, abuse drugs, etc., etc., etc. and saying ******ed is a hellworthy trespass?

I am gonna go ahead and worry about my actions alone. I don't care if you are the most racist and hateful physicians in the nation. You are entitled to feel however you want and it doesn't bother me.
 
FrkyBgStok said:
Seriously? If you are going to get offended by little things people say, it is going to be a long road. You can't control other peoples choices. I don't have a problem with saying ******ed so if you were to say something to me when I wasn't talking to you, I would tell you to shove it. And if someone says something I don't agree with, too freakin bad for me. I don't let it bother me.

And to the people saying it isn't acting doctorly? Come on. For real? You really think doctors are above everyone else? There are doctors that smoke, verbally and physically abuse their wives and family, neglect their children, practice unethically, abuse drugs, etc., etc., etc. and saying ******ed is a hellworthy trespass?

I am gonna go ahead and worry about my actions alone. I don't care if you are the most racist and hateful physicians in the nation. You are entitled to feel however you want and it doesn't bother me.
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👍+1

******:
–verb (used with object) 1. to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede.

–verb (used without object) 2. to be delayed.

–noun 3. a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine.
4. Slang: Disparaging . a. a mentally ******ed person.
b. a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social ******.


5. Automotive, Machinery . an adjustment made in the setting of the distributor of an internal-combustion engine so that the spark for ignition in each cylinder is generated later in the cycle.

Its unfortunate that just about everything these days is offensive to someone. People just need to grow up and mind their own. But, to take offense to words like "******", according to the words definition, you should also take offense to: "Slow", "Stupid", "ineffective", "hindered" etc... Throw in the other words like "Gay" and its associated words and your going to have a very small vocabulary.

What people should find offensive is the context in which the word is used, not the word itself. Calling a friend "******ed" in a manner that is joking, does no harm. Calling a person the same thing with intention of inflicting hurt...thats where the problem should come in.
 
I think it should be said that the terms 'idiot,' 'imbecile,' and '*****' used to have clinical meaning, yet people use those terms today without any suggestion of clinical mental ******ation. Those terms are not considered offensive beyond their intended derogatory use. Personally, when I first learned to use the word '******ed' somewhere back in middle school, I did not make the connection to mental ******ation (I guess you could call me an idiot then). When I hear people use it today, I don't think of mental ******ation at all. I find the pejorative use of the word 'gay' to be much more offensive.

Anyway, doctors are humans. Anecdotally, I've heard doctors (who I felt had very good bedside manners) joke about fat people in private settings and I think that is much worse than saying the word '******ed' without meaning offense toward the mentally handicapped. Still, it's probably better to avoid using words like '******ed' and 'gay' lest a reflection of that attitude shows up subconsciously in our professional demeanor.

So, tl;dr: I personally don't mind it but don't say it much myself.
 
Your just stiff. It depends on the audience. Obviously you wouldn't use it when talking to an attending.
 
Neurocentric said:
I kind of think people need to lighten up a bit. If you know not to say those things around people you don't know, then who cares what I or someone else says when I'm around friends, my significant other, or by myself?
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I can agree with that. If you're actually just alone or with friends you're comfortable with, say whatever you want.


That being said, I totally disagree with you, OMG Lizards. I don't think of exercising common decency in public to keep people from being hurt or feeling unsafe (as unreasonable as that may be) as altruism. I'm not going out of my way or doing anything that major to prevent it. English is a rich and varied language and it's easy to avoid a few key words. The doctor-like characteristics was quoting somebody else's statement. I think it's more about being a decent person than being a doctor--the doctor thing just plays into the fact that health care workers need to be particularly attuned to the consequences of their words and actions on the people around them (as a skill to do a good job even more so than as a ethos) and I would expect that this required skill would render people slightly more aware of the words they choose to deploy in public spaces. It doesn't have anything to do with burning out, with wanting to save the world or help all the under served, or anything else like that. To be honest, though, and this might totally be my own hypocrisy and biases, I am more annoyed when people use rape humorously and gay in a derogatory fashion than when people call each other ******ed, because I do think ******ed has a wider breadth of meanings.

I also think that if you like at the reasoning behind people's defenses of this language, it's somewhat lacking. Most responses are just "lighten up" or "I have the right to say whatever I want." I think that there's a dearth of substance to those two claims. I'm definitely open to hearing a good reason why this type of language isn't as harmful as I am maybe making it out to be, but being told to "lighten up" isn't really a compelling line of reasoning. Despite what I may come across typing all this stuff, I'm personally not someone who sits around grumpy and calling people out. I was an athlete in college so I've definitely been in an environment where this kind of language is thrown around all the time. Did I constantly call people out? No. Do I think the people using this language were fundamentally great people (and some of my closest friends)? Yes. Does that actually make this language okay? I don't think so. Maybe it's not a huge deal, but it still makes a difference and if you're aware of that and can so easily avoid using a few words for yourself, why would you not?
 
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I have had friends who got offended by the use of the words 'fat', 'cheap', or 'messy'. And I don't mean just things like, "that messy, fat chick over there looks so cheap". I'm talking things like, "Well, this dish is cheap, but the description's all messy and it's probably full of fat."

They also got offended by the words "milky", "seminary", "semester", etc. because they felt it was 'an inappropriate reference to semen'. (Mind you, they also chastised me for drinking out of a standard-issue thermos because it was a 'phallic symbol'.)

But I think what takes the cake was at a blood drive. Someone asked why we ask all these questions about their history before letting them donate. I answered, "certain things in a person's history can make their blood dangerous to receive. They might have hepatitis, malaria, sickle-cell, or undiagnosed HIV, all of which are extremely serious risks. We're just trying to ensure everyone's safety."

His response? "I can't believe you use that word in public. You're so sick."

Which word? HIV. Apparently, even mentioning HIV/AIDS in a clinical sense isn't allowed anymore.

So yeah, I understand that it's upsetting to some people when others use words like "******ed", but frankly, it's not that big a deal to 90% of the world. They spend their time obsessing over other little words.
 
elektroshok said:
this thread is so gay
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I can't believe we made it all the way to post 43. Impressive.

People can obviously say whatever they want in the privacy of their own home/social circle. I'm just pointing out that when you use that terminology, you're basically saying, "I have the language skills of an 8-14 year old who spends juuust a little too much time on XBox Live." And if that's what you're shooting for, more power to you.

But realistically, those cutdowns only work with other people who use those words, because those are the only people those words have meaning to. At least with "******ed" it conveys a little bit of what you're trying to say in the cut-down. What are you conveying by using the term "gay?" That someone is neat, meticulous, well-dressed/groomed, and probably a professional? (Score one for stereotypes!)

As I said earlier, in the right social context I also don't have any problems swearing, or even using alternative words for vagina to emasculate my male friends over Call of Duty. The difference is, those words aren't descriptive of a minority. Using those words is akin to being a schoolyard bully (no offense to any real bullies here, y'all just keep on keepin' on).
 
If I met someone like that, Janieve, I'd smack them in the face.
 
Janieve said:
I have had friends who got offended by the use of the words 'fat', 'cheap', or 'messy'. And I don't mean just things like, "that messy, fat chick over there looks so cheap". I'm talking things like, "Well, this dish is cheap, but the description's all messy and it's probably full of fat."

They also got offended by the words "milky", "seminary", "semester", etc. because they felt it was 'an inappropriate reference to semen'. (Mind you, they also chastised me for drinking out of a standard-issue thermos because it was a 'phallic symbol'.)

But I think what takes the cake was at a blood drive. Someone asked why we ask all these questions about their history before letting them donate. I answered, "certain things in a person's history can make their blood dangerous to receive. They might have hepatitis, malaria, sickle-cell, or undiagnosed HIV, all of which are extremely serious risks. We're just trying to ensure everyone's safety."

His response? "I can't believe you use that word in public. You're so sick."

Which word? HIV. Apparently, even mentioning HIV/AIDS in a clinical sense isn't allowed anymore.

So yeah, I understand that it's upsetting to some people when others use words like "******ed", but frankly, it's not that big a deal to 90% of the world. They spend their time obsessing over other little words.
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You have strange friends...
 
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