Anyone else nervous about moving away for graduate school?

[psychluv]

Hello everyone-
I know throughout the entire application process, it is an emotional roller-coaster. I am really happy to have been accepted into a really good PhD program, but the closer I get to actually moving away from family/friends and a city that I have absolutely loved to live in for the past 7 years, the more nervous I get. I am moving from southern california to the midwest and I know it will definitely be an adjustment in terms of weather and overall lifestyle. I was just curious if others are having these thoughts as well and how you are coping with them.

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[Psleepless]

Hello everyone-
I know throughout the entire application process, it is an emotional roller-coaster. I am really happy to have been accepted into a really good PhD program, but the closer I get to actually moving away from family/friends and a city that I have absolutely loved to live in for the past 7 years, the more nervous I get. I am moving from southern california to the midwest and I know it will definitely be an adjustment in terms of weather and overall lifestyle. I was just curious if others are having these thoughts as well and how you are coping with them.

Communicating with other doctoral students who have moved from Old City to New City is somewhat comforting! Also, Benadryl and sangria!

 

[lexicon]

Hello everyone-
I know throughout the entire application process, it is an emotional roller-coaster. I am really happy to have been accepted into a really good PhD program, but the closer I get to actually moving away from family/friends and a city that I have absolutely loved to live in for the past 7 years, the more nervous I get. I am moving from southern california to the midwest and I know it will definitely be an adjustment in terms of weather and overall lifestyle. I was just curious if others are having these thoughts as well and how you are coping with them.

I am feeling the same way. I am moving to the other side of the country for an RA job (actually *to* S. California) and while I know it will be an incredible opportunity and an important step in my career, the closer I get to moving date the more mixed my emotions become.

My plan is to spend as much time with my loved ones as possible and to express myself when I'm feeling sad or nervous or whatnot. I think in the past I would have just tried to deny my negative feelings and focus on the positive but in this instance I want to allow myself to grieve a little over what I'm losing in this move. It really is a loss and it's OK to be sad about it. I think there's a space between total denial and total wallowing, and that's where I am right now.

The other thing I keep reminding myself is that it's much harder to be in limbo like I am now than it will be once I'm actually living my new life. Right now the future is a big question mark, but the future will be the present soon enough.

 

[mattyo123]

Hey there

I'm in a similar situation, and I feel for you. I've gotten pretty involved in meditation in the last year, and I think that practice will help me through this major transition.

Besides that, I'd like to say that I have some tidbit of information to make the transition easier for you, but I don't. All I can really offer is my current experience.

I am leaving Boston in a week, and my job in two weeks. I'll be moving back in with the parents, and from there hopefully embarking on some summer adventure.

I would have thought at this point that I'd be super excited for these couple of months off from the real world to go and explore. At this point, I haven't made any firm summer plans and am having a difficult time actually deciding how to spend my summer. Sure, there are some things that I'd like to do, but nothing that is completely calling my name. I'm conflicted, because I'd love to go explore the roots of Buddhism in Tibet/India/Thailand, but I'm really not sure about solo travel. Frankly, I'm pretty stressed out about how to spend my summer, which is silly considering this should be a great adventure...not an added burden. If anyone has any tidbits of wisdom for me, do share. PMs welcome. 🙂

Anyway, besides that, I'm pretty lucky (in a sense) because I don't have many ties binding me to Boston. In fact, I'm feeling a little antsy to leave. At the same time, I'm going to miss this place and leaving will be hard. Lexicon is right. I am going to try to let myself be sad about this, it's a pretty big loss right now. That's pretty much all I can see from here, but it's pretty exciting in the sense that I know it will eventually turn into a new beginning. Right now, though, I think it's ok to just be sad.

 

[krisrox]

I'm a mix of anxious, excited, scared, sad, and antsy. I'm ready to start a new life in a new city, but I'm not yet ready to leave my family, my boyfriend, and my memories behind.

 

[psychluv]

I cannot thank you all enough for your honesty and great suggestions. It is very comforting to know that I am not the only one who is experiencing these mixed emotions. I guess change is very scary regardless of the reasoning. I am confident that we will all grow more as people when we are out of our comfort zone, but I think we are all definitely justified to be both excited and very nervous.

 

[Wapote84]

I dunno.. I am feeling a bit nervous about moving to Tennessee from STL. I dont really know why. I'm excited to move somewhere new and I'm thrilled with the amazing opportunity. The people at my program are the best bar none and the city seems like a great place. I've even done this before. I moved to Madrid and lived there while studying and teaching. I freaked a bit when I moved there too, and had a hardcore culture shock, but in the end I was so happy and I didnt want to return home! I dunno, I feel like maybe I'm just nervous about the future and the unknown. In my head I know I'll be fine and that it will be a great experience, but I also won't have a confidant or a physical person there to be supportive like someone in my family or a good friend and that makes me nervous and anxious also.

I dunno! I think we're all nervous about it to some degree or another. One thing I may be able to say is that get to know your cohort. They're going through the exact same thing you are and they might be just as scared as you! You could be each others pillars of strength lol

 

[elphaba]

In my head I know I'll be fine and that it will be a great experience, but I also won't have a confidant or a physical person there to be supportive like someone in my family or a good friend and that makes me nervous and anxious also.

THIS. Exactly. I'm super nervous about my move primarily because I'm leaving behind "my people." Obviously I'll meet people and develop great relationships, but not physically having a support system there of people who know me and love me is totally flipping me out. I'm so envious of people who are moving with best friends or significant others! I'm SO excited about this journey and beyond thrilled to be starting this program, but I'm totally terrified about being alone -- supportive emails are great and all, but I hate the idea of having a crappy day and going home without anyone to hug! I'm also nervous about making "big kid" decisions on my own. When I've lived alone in the past, I've still been in the same city as my parents and siblings, so if I had a problem, they were right there. Now I'll be WAY more independent which is totally scary.

I know this is going to be a great adventure, but I agree 100% with whoever said it above -- the limbo aspect of it right now is incredibly stressful. I either want to have it totally out of mind OR I want to just be there. Sitting around and anticipating is not doing anything productive for my anxious little brain!

 

[mints]

I feel your pain. ::hugs:: I would really like to hear from someone who has already made this difficult transition.

I'm not moving far, but my best friend/roommate is moving from Missouri to California for his own graduate program. We applied to schools in the all of the same cities, but we had to go with the programs that were best for each of us individually. I am terrified because I've never lived alone, and he's been a part of my everyday existence since high school.

I'm looking at the next five years as a growing experience. I can learn to function independently, and I'll be able to concentrate on my schoolwork and meeting new people. If these five years suck, we'll sacrifice good jobs or whatever and move to the same city. It's always an option. I'm also counting on my pets, lots of video chat, and credit cards that earn airline miles.

 

[mftrp]

I am so happy someone started this thread.

I am moving from a really exciting place to the middle of nowhere for my graduate program. I have been mentally preparing myself for this change, but like others pointed out, it wouldn't be so difficult if it didn't also mean having to leave everyone behind; my family, friends, dog, and most importantly-- my twin sister.

 

[PsychPhDone]

I had always lived about an hour away from home, but for grad school, I moved about 10 hours away. I did (and do) get homesick at time, but that's what airplanes and Skype are for. 🙂 The good news is that most of my cohort is in the same situation so we stick together and can truly empathize. When you get there, you'll be so wrapped up in exploring a new city and making new friends (and working your butt off) that you'll adjust more quickly than you expect, most likely.

 

[hokie11]

All I can say is, congratulations...it's scary to move away, but the fact that you made it into a good program is an incredible feat that you should appreciate and celebrate. I'd give anything to be in your shoes! You will have a period of adjustment, but then you will realize the implications of your success. So, congratulations!