Anyone has tips on how to study in med school whilst married?

[undergroundcelloswan]

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Just interested on how anyone tackled this and survived medical school, especially from the female perspective as I am a girl (if you wondering cause my screename is gender ambiguous).

Mods, you can merge if this has already been asked before. I was searching around the old posts and I couldn't find anything specific.

 

[seelee]

I am a dude, though married with kids.

My routine is essentially this.

Wake up 5-5:30 am
Study till 5.
Go home eat dinner and hang with the fam till around 8.
Study some more (if I need to) till 10 or 11.
Go to bed

 

[chman]

Just say, "leave me alone to study otherwise we are going to have hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt for nothing."

 

[URHere]

At my school, many students with families choose to treat studying as a full-time job. They come to campus at 8, attend lecture with the rest of us, and then break off and study independently until 5 or 6. After 6, they go home and enjoy their spouses and children.

I'm sure not everyone chooses to do things this way, but it works well for many of my classmates.

 

[armybound]

I'd really hope that your husband would understand the amount of effort you need to put into studying and wouldn't be selfish with your time. If not, you need to explain to him what it takes.

I'm sure the only thing he'd really be upset about is if your sex life came to a stop. If you can make an effort to keep him satisfied, I doubt he'll really care if he has more time apart from you to watch TV and play video games.

 

[chman]

I'd really hope that your husband would understand the amount of effort you need to put into studying and wouldn't be selfish with your time. If not, you need to explain to him what it takes.

I'm sure the only thing he'd really be upset about is if your sex life came to a stop. If you can make an effort to keep him satisfied, I doubt he'll really care if he has more time apart from you to watch TV and play video games.

. So true. But I am sure she is talking about household responsibilities as well. You guys may need to work out a system so those don't get out of hand.

 

[ThaliaNox]

OP, I'm actually in the exact situation you're asking about right now. I am a female married medical student. Its harder than for my male married classmates. We've come to an agreement that he will do most of the cooking and housework, and the extra time it gains me from him doing those things will be spent with him. It can be awkward, I'm not going to lie. Sometimes you feel like a bad wife, just because of the societal expectations for a wife, and the fact that many men have no clue how to clean. Luckily, my husband is an excellent cook, so there were no problems on that front.

It is challenging to balance, especially compared to your male married classmates. Society is fine with them having a "housewife," but people will expect, and your husband will expect himself, to have a job outside the house.

 

[aggie08]

I am currently in this situation and it has posed no problems outside of attending less social functions with classmates. I often give up class "parties" or "outings" to spend time with him (of course I go to some and he comes to some with me, also).

I honestly haven't had any issues thus far. He works full-time so I study a lot while he's at work and then a lot in the evenings also.

I'm also in a great situation in that he is EXTREMELY understanding and laid back and he also is a very clean person, so he helps around the house a lot. He has taken on a lot of the laundry responsibilities, which as the other girl said can sometimes make you feel like a bad wife. Fortunately, he is quick to tell me that it's not a big deal.

I still do a lot of the cooking (mostly because I don't want to eat frozen pizza everyday, lol) and a lot of the dusting, vacuuming, etc. (because I'm a neat freak....not because he doesn't help with the house cleaning).

Another positive is that he is a computer programmer, so he goes to the coffee shop with me a lot when I study and works on whatever geeky stuff computer people do. 😀

Overall, it's really no big deal as long as you have a supportive partner who isn't into the "only wife does the domestic stuff" mind-set.

 

[MSU2012]

You just have to figure out what works for you guys. Luckily, as said above, men are stereotypically much lower-maintenance - your husband will probably be fine with having a little more time to watch TV, work out, whatever.

My husband has a crazier schedule than mine - he works full time and is a full time student - so I actually do most of the housework. It helps that my school schedule has been very flexible these first two years. The big thing that has saved us is that I study as much as I can while he's at work or class and we try to spend as much time on evenings and weekends together as possible.

Also DO NOT fall into the trap of acting like your life is sooo much harder than his. If he works you need to respect the fact that he's putting in a lot of hours at a job that's probably very mundane to support you. Okay, so you're studying 60 hours a week - at least you have the freedom to do it where and when you want. Remember how stressful/mindnumbing the 8-5 can be and that should help.

And seriously, keep sex a priority.

 

[undergroundcelloswan]

. So true. But I am sure she is talking about household responsibilities as well. You guys may need to work out a system so those don't get out of hand.

Yes, I mean that exactly. I'm just worried about shirking my wifely duties. My mom is a OB/GYN and she's fully expecting me to volunteer at her office while I'm in med school. I live in DC/Metro area and plan to go to school locally so that wouldn't be a problem to help her out, I'm just worried about the time I can spend with my significant other while juggling what seems to me an impossible load 🙁

 

[armybound]

Yes, I mean that exactly. I'm just worried about shirking my wifely duties. My mom is a OB/GYN and she's fully expecting me to volunteer at her office while I'm in med school. I live in DC/Metro area and plan to go to school locally so that wouldn't be a problem to help her out, I'm just worried about the time I can spend with my significant other while juggling what seems to me an impossible load 🙁

How do you guys currently split the chores?

The med school load isn't impossible. You have several free hours per day.

 

[chman]

Yes, I mean that exactly. I'm just worried about shirking my wifely duties. My mom is a OB/GYN and she's fully expecting me to volunteer at her office while I'm in med school. I live in DC/Metro area and plan to go to school locally so that wouldn't be a problem to help her out, I'm just worried about the time I can spend with my significant other while juggling what seems to me an impossible load 🙁

I am normally not this kind of person, but if it were me I would buy one of those big calenders that you can stick on the wall and write on. Then just figure out what needs to be done around the house. You may need to do this a couple weeks in so you know how much time it take on average for you to study. Then just write down what chores need to be done on what days, when your study time is, and when you guys can spend personal time.

I know it is kind of unrealistic to have everything planned to a T, but it could probably help.

 

[aggie08]

Yes, I mean that exactly. I'm just worried about shirking my wifely duties. My mom is a OB/GYN and she's fully expecting me to volunteer at her office while I'm in med school. I live in DC/Metro area and plan to go to school locally so that wouldn't be a problem to help her out, I'm just worried about the time I can spend with my significant other while juggling what seems to me an impossible load 🙁

I'm just going to put this out there that if you are neglecting your husband to volunteer for your mom it's not going to be a good situation.

Once you're married your first answer is to him and no longer to your parents. If it comes down to it and this is taking away time between you and your husband, you have to tell her no. It is not required for school, it will not help you when it comes down to residency applications....it should not be priority over your husband.

 

[queenbee]

if you need additional information, this topic has been covered ad nauseum in the nontraditional forum. i would suggest doing a search there as well to see the numerous threads that discuss this very topic.

 

[Birdsbeak]

I am sure a husband would understand, especially if you keep up the romantic life and find time between the sheets. Who knows, he may be one of those guys who likes a lot of time alone.

 

[bamtuba]

I am sure a husband would understand, especially if you keep up the romantic life and find time between the sheets. Who knows, he may be one of those guys who likes a lot of time alone.

As for the OP: my wife and I just lived our lives as best we could with the understanding that there are just going to be times that "school had to come first." You just get through it. Somehow.

It worked for us.

 

[Birdsbeak]

My comment was half in jest and half in truth. I think that romantic time is important. It is a healthy part of a good relationship. I'm just saying you have to make time for each other.

 

[aggie08]

My comment was half in jest and half in truth. I think that romantic time is important. It is a healthy part of a good relationship. I'm just saying you have to make time for each other.

I agreed with your comment.

 

[La Doctora]

I'm just going to put this out there that if you are neglecting your husband to volunteer for your mom it's not going to be a good situation.

Once you're married your first answer is to him and no longer to your parents. If it comes down to it and this is taking away time between you and your husband, you have to tell her no. It is not required for school, it will not help you when it comes down to residency applications....it should not be priority over your husband.

👍 Your mom should understand this too.

 

[Jolie South]

I never really understand these threads. It's really not different than if you were going to work a full time job. These particular issues are not unique to you being in med school.

Anyways, just communicate with your husband and make time to spend with him. Chip in on the chores when you can.

 

[Exalya]

I'm also a married female. My husband and I have been through a lot, so I'm not really worried about med school (I waited for him while he was in Iraq, he can wait until I'm done studying every night). However, a doc who came to my school had a few things to say on being married as a med student. She said that she had done it, and couldn't imagine what it would have been like without her husband... having someone at home who can cook dinner for you, be there for you, and just generally help you out is really advantageous. She and her husband did really well while she was in med school, so yes, you can get through it. ^.^

 

[Raigon]

Well, at least you're not a single mother with two sick children to take care of. Heck, it's not uncommon to find a medical school where half the people are already married with children and family. Some are already professors, and some already have grandchildren (though not a lot, hopefully).

So go for it. If you think you can handle it and you really want to be a doctor, then we SDN members cheer you on!

(Though, that does leave us single men a bit disappointed, as it limits our sources of accessible women as potential girlfriends. XD )

 

[searun]

If you are a childless couple, being married in med school should not be a big deal. In some ways, there are alot of advantages, i.e. having your own personal chef. If you factor kids into the equation, then it is much more complicated because kids need and deserve alot of your time.

Being a married childless med student should not put you at any disadvantage whatsoever. I have a girlfriend, fairly low maintenance, but I put in the time necessary to keep the relationship going. She keeps my life balanced. Marriage should keep your life balanced and that is a good thing.

 

[AMEHigh]

I find it somewhat difficult, but it's not too hard to balance it all though. I do get jealous when some of my single friends talk about not having gone to the grocery store or cooked in weeks because they don't have time...while that's something that I basically have to do for my husband and I.

Anyway, as far as a schedule goes I mostly study at home. My husband also has a busy schedule so I usually get home before him and study for an hour or 2. Then, when he gets home, one of us cooks and we eat together. Then, I go back to studying for another hour 2. At the end of the night sometimes we watch a little tv together, but that rarely happens.

The week before the test I tell him I'm basically off limits and won't be cooking or cleaning because I pretty much study around the clock.

As far as household stuff goes, even before med school we were pretty good about dividing chores up evenly, so we still do it that way. I still do most of the grocery shopping, but sometimes he comes with me and it's nice to get to spend that time together even if it's at the grocery store.

I'm so glad I have him to support me though!

 

[AMEHigh]

I never really understand these threads. It's really not different than if you were going to work a full time job. These particular issues are not unique to you being in med school.

Ehh I sometime disagree on that. We both worked full time (I actually worked 2 jobs) before I started school and now things are different. I'm not saying it's extremely difficult than being single, but there are definitely some challenges.

When I was working I could come home and we could just relax together, even if it was just for an hour or 2. Now when I come home I have to study and can't have a million interruptions. Also, a few days before the test are even more intense study time and I barely do any cooking or cleaning, which never happened when we were both cooking.

I just think it's good to be prepared that med school can be a transition for a lot of married couples. Not necessarily a huge and drastic one, but something to think about.

 

[fahimaz7]

I'm a married first year med student. I don't think it's a big deal... For me, we get out of school at 12pm on most days, which allows me to study, on campus, from 12:30-5pm. If you do this, you'll do great in class!

School beats the crap out of work.

 

[psipsina]

I got an apartment that had a separate room to be my "study". I skipped classes and studied at home for the most part, just going in for mandatory clinical skills type stuff or to study with friends if my husband was at work. I studied in 45 minute chunks (with a timer) and took timed 15 minute breaks which I spent with my husband when he was home. It was hard for him at first to accept that he had to wait for the timed breaks but he got used to it. We'd always eat together when he was home and I'd take one longer break with him. When it got down to crunch time he'd stay out of the house for me until the end of the night when I'd take my long break at the end of the night.

As a 3rd year its totally different and we can go days without really having any time together which is a tough adjustment. I try to study like crazy when I'm home and he's not so those moments when we're both home can be fully enjoyed. The cooler part is that I always have interesting stories whereas he really had no interest with what anatomy I'd learned that day during 1st year lol. I'm also happier because I hated being a study hermit so I think that helps make our time together of a better quality even though the quantity is way way down.

 

[Beta Cell]

I got an apartment that had a separate room to be my "study". I skipped classes and studied at home for the most part, just going in for mandatory clinical skills type stuff or to study with friends if my husband was at work. I studied in 45 minute chunks (with a timer) and took timed 15 minute breaks which I spent with my husband when he was home. It was hard for him at first to accept that he had to wait for the timed breaks but he got used to it. We'd always eat together when he was home and I'd take one longer break with him. When it got down to crunch time he'd stay out of the house for me until the end of the night when I'd take my long break at the end of the night.

As a 3rd year its totally different and we can go days without really having any time together which is a tough adjustment. I try to study like crazy when I'm home and he's not so those moments when we're both home can be fully enjoyed. The cooler part is that I always have interesting stories whereas he really had no interest with what anatomy I'd learned that day during 1st year lol. I'm also happier because I hated being a study hermit so I think that helps make our time together of a better quality even though the quantity is way way down.

Out of curiousity, what did you study in third year? Were you already studying for Step 2's at that point? I was under the impression that the typical classroom stuff ended after MS2.

 

[paki20]

I'm just going to put this out there that if you are neglecting your husband to volunteer for your mom it's not going to be a good situation.

Once you're married your first answer is to him and no longer to your parents. If it comes down to it and this is taking away time between you and your husband, you have to tell her no. It is not required for school, it will not help you when it comes down to residency applications....it should not be priority over your husband.

👍 👍

i mean if its like 1-3 hrs/week or if you can schedule it while he's at work then its not a big deal at all...but if its any thing more than that then you may be giving him the PERCEPTION that he's not really high on your list of priorities (which i am sure he is in reality)...unless your husband is really understanding and patient i would REALLY avoid volunteering for something that is not really required or beneficial to you in the long run especially if it is taking up time that could be spent with him since you will already have limited time to spend with him anyways..as you probably already know, its tough maintaining a relationship and requires sacrifices and understanding from both individuals..it takes years and decades to develop and maintain a relationship but can take only seconds to ruin it (exaggeration but you know what i mean)...not trying to patronize u or give u a lecture or anything like that (sorry if its coming off that way!!) just trying to give you a guy's perspective 🙂

and am sure you already know this but constantly talk to him to see how he feels about the situation...definitely listen to his concerns without getting defensive or anything..communication is key

 

[FrickenhugeMD]

Out of curiousity, what did you study in third year? Were you already studying for Step 2's at that point? I was under the impression that the typical classroom stuff ended after MS2.

More than likely shelf exams, which occur after each rotation. The studying never ends...

 

[Jolie South]

Ehh I sometime disagree on that. We both worked full time (I actually worked 2 jobs) before I started school and now things are different. I'm not saying it's extremely difficult than being single, but there are definitely some challenges.

When I was working I could come home and we could just relax together, even if it was just for an hour or 2. Now when I come home I have to study and can't have a million interruptions. Also, a few days before the test are even more intense study time and I barely do any cooking or cleaning, which never happened when we were both cooking.

I just think it's good to be prepared that med school can be a transition for a lot of married couples. Not necessarily a huge and drastic one, but something to think about.

I actually think it's easier than when I had a "real" job because I can spend most of my time at home studying as opposed to being stuck at the workplace. Obviously, that will change with rotations, but still the first two years shouldn't be a drastic change, especially if you can manage your time efficiently.

 

[Global Warming]

I find it somewhat difficult, but it's not too hard to balance it all though. I do get jealous when some of my single friends talk about not having gone to the grocery store or cooked in weeks because they don't have time...while that's something that I basically have to do for my husband and I.

Anyway, as far as a schedule goes I mostly study at home. My husband also has a busy schedule so I usually get home before him and study for an hour or 2. Then, when he gets home, one of us cooks and we eat together. Then, I go back to studying for another hour 2. At the end of the night sometimes we watch a little tv together, but that rarely happens.

The week before the test I tell him I'm basically off limits and won't be cooking or cleaning because I pretty much study around the clock.

As far as household stuff goes, even before med school we were pretty good about dividing chores up evenly, so we still do it that way. I still do most of the grocery shopping, but sometimes he comes with me and it's nice to get to spend that time together even if it's at the grocery store.

I'm so glad I have him to support me though!

Now this is going to sound like I am bashing you, but please do not interpret it as so.

In my opinion, this is a prime example of a bad marriage and exactly what I do not want to put my current GF (serious relationship) through. Although I completely understand that you need to "do what you gotta do" in order to obtain those 2 letters after your name, I honestly do not feel it is fair to put another human being through this. If your husband is happy/okay with the situation, that's fantastic and I hope you the best. However, I personally would not be and therefore would not expect my SO to be.

I'm sort of stuck in a situation that many people in this world would die for. I am so close to achieving a goal that I've worked so hard for...but the sacrifices we have to make as doctors is sometimes unbearable.

 

[armybound]

Now this is going to sound like I am bashing you, but please do not interpret it as so.

In my opinion, this is a prime example of a bad marriage and exactly what I do not want to put my current GF (serious relationship) through. Although I completely understand that you need to "do what you gotta do" in order to obtain those 2 letters after your name, I honestly do not feel it is fair to put another human being through this. If your husband is happy/okay with the situation, that's fantastic and I hope you the best. However, I personally would not be and therefore would not expect my SO to be.

I'm sort of stuck in a situation that many people in this world would die for. I am so close to achieving a goal that I've worked so hard for...but the sacrifices we have to make as doctors is sometimes unbearable.

If that kind of lifestyle is unacceptable to you, you're going into the wrong profession.

 

[redsquareblack]

Now this is going to sound like I am bashing you, but please do not interpret it as so.

In my opinion, this is a prime example of a bad marriage and exactly what I do not want to put my current GF (serious relationship) through. Although I completely understand that you need to "do what you gotta do" in order to obtain those 2 letters after your name, I honestly do not feel it is fair to put another human being through this. If your husband is happy/okay with the situation, that's fantastic and I hope you the best. However, I personally would not be and therefore would not expect my SO to be.

I'm sort of stuck in a situation that many people in this world would die for. I am so close to achieving a goal that I've worked so hard for...but the sacrifices we have to make as doctors is sometimes unbearable.

Why do you think they get half of everything in a divorce. Guess what, man? That M.D. doesn't belong to you alone; it belongs to both of you, and so does any money that comes from it.

Anyway, I'm engaged, hoping to go to med school, and already had a taste of M1 at an SMP program. This one line has the power to resolve all problems stemming from excessive studying:

"Get away from me, lady. I'm doing science."

 

[aggie08]

Now this is going to sound like I am bashing you, but please do not interpret it as so.

In my opinion, this is a prime example of a bad marriage and exactly what I do not want to put my current GF (serious relationship) through. Although I completely understand that you need to "do what you gotta do" in order to obtain those 2 letters after your name, I honestly do not feel it is fair to put another human being through this. If your husband is happy/okay with the situation, that's fantastic and I hope you the best. However, I personally would not be and therefore would not expect my SO to be.

I'm sort of stuck in a situation that many people in this world would die for. I am so close to achieving a goal that I've worked so hard for...but the sacrifices we have to make as doctors is sometimes unbearable.

Just to let you know, my relationship with my husband is not anything like this. We are still able to do things spontaneously and I take days off to spend with him. I am doing fine school-wise, too. I don't like the idea of his time being set by a timer, so I choose to do it differently. This may be what works for them and it might not work for us, that's fine we will just do it differently.

And to those who say your life has to be like that if you go into medicine, I believe they are wrong. Medicine is what you make it, just like any other career. You can make it your life and spend way too much time at your job or you can not. You can purposely go into something that will still allow you to have a family, as long as you're willing to accept that you're making a little less money than others (that doesn't bother me at all). You can work part-time. Your life and your career, even in medicine, is what you make it.

Many will choose to make it their life and try to tell you that you should do. You shouldn't. You should do what makes you happy. As for me, my family is first priority. If my career kept me away from my kids to the point I felt they were neglected I would leave it in an instant. That's just me, though.

However, I think what the poster you quoted is getting at is that she requires this structure to stay focused. It is a good system for some and I'm sure her husband understands that. She seems to be doing well and if it's working for her, then that's great. I think as long as she is happy and her husband is happy, then it's really a personal choice how you do your studying. I think it's good for the OP to see all the different ways you can make it work, also. I'm glad she posted her method.

 

[undergroundcelloswan]

Well, at least you're not a single mother with two sick children to take care of. Heck, it's not uncommon to find a medical school where half the people are already married with children and family. Some are already professors, and some already have grandchildren (though not a lot, hopefully).

So go for it. If you think you can handle it and you really want to be a doctor, then we SDN members cheer you on!

(Though, that does leave us single men a bit disappointed, as it limits our sources of accessible women as potential girlfriends. XD )

LOL! Thanks for the encouragement! Much thanks to everyone who's posted! Its given me alot insight into this.

To Aggie08 -- I feel conflicted, maybe because I've got a severe cause of guilty conscience-itis, but my mom will be paying for my medical school (please no collective gasp!) and I want the hours I clock in to go towards my med school fees. My significant other is a foreign student studying in the U.S. so he won't have a job until he gets his BS and/or graduates degree. I don't think I'll have a problem though because my mom only has office hours four days a week and I'd be rotating with my sister who will also be going to med school. Thank you for your advice though! 🙂

 

[Artimacia]

I've wondered about how people deal with having a spouse in the military while you're going to med school. My boyfriend (potential future spouse) is in the marines. Is anyone here in that situation and in med school? Do you think it makes it easier than if the spouse was at home?

 

[HurricaneKatt]

I was going to comment on volunteering for your Mom, but if she is paying for Med school (*glared jealously*) then that Does complicate things a bit... I think that your husband would understand then if you were volunteering for her since she is MORE than helping you out. While I am not in Med school yet I think it is definitely doable. There are plenty of people who are married with kids! Not that I would want to do that if I could avoid it (kids+med school), but at the same time I would not let it stop me nor would I let med school lead me to neglect my kids and SO. I like hearing all of the input people have posted - good thread! 🙂

 

[armybound]

I dunno if your mother paying for school should complicate it much. Your first priority is still to your husband, whether your mom wants to dish out the cash for school or not.

 

[smq123]

Now this is going to sound like I am bashing you, but please do not interpret it as so.

In my opinion, this is a prime example of a bad marriage and exactly what I do not want to put my current GF (serious relationship) through. Although I completely understand that you need to "do what you gotta do" in order to obtain those 2 letters after your name, I honestly do not feel it is fair to put another human being through this. If your husband is happy/okay with the situation, that's fantastic and I hope you the best. However, I personally would not be and therefore would not expect my SO to be.

I'm sort of stuck in a situation that many people in this world would die for. I am so close to achieving a goal that I've worked so hard for...but the sacrifices we have to make as doctors is sometimes unbearable.

If you don't want to put your serious GF through your schedule as a med student, then why do you want to subject her to your schedule as a doctor?

Your schedule during MS1 and MS2 is MUCH easier than it is during MS3 and MS4 and, jeebus, especially intern year. Intern year, you will work 30 hours at a time, only to go home and crash for a few hours. You may not be home for large stretches, and even when you are home, you may not be in the mood to talk much, if at all.

You need to sort this out in your mind BEFORE you even take the MCAT. It's not like it necessarily gets BETTER once you get past med school. Or are you going to wait to get married until you retire?

 

[AMEHigh]

Now this is going to sound like I am bashing you, but please do not interpret it as so.

In my opinion, this is a prime example of a bad marriage and exactly what I do not want to put my current GF (serious relationship) through. Although I completely understand that you need to "do what you gotta do" in order to obtain those 2 letters after your name, I honestly do not feel it is fair to put another human being through this. If your husband is happy/okay with the situation, that's fantastic and I hope you the best. However, I personally would not be and therefore would not expect my SO to be.

I'm sort of stuck in a situation that many people in this world would die for. I am so close to achieving a goal that I've worked so hard for...but the sacrifices we have to make as doctors is sometimes unbearable.

LOL my marriage is great. My husband completely understands and has no problems with it. He actually gets home later than I do some nights, so it's not a big deal. I don't know what you mean when you say I'm putting my husband through something, but it's really not that major. Yes, some days it sucks because we only spend an hour of quality time together, but we are both working hard to make it in our careers.

Being in medical and being a doctor you have to make sacrifices...this is true of many other careers as well. If both people in the marriage are happy with it and have a healthy relationship, that's all that matters.

And just to clarify when I said "I'm off limits" the week before the test, that just means that I cook the meals ahead of time or we order out as I don't spend an hour cooking. And that means that I'm up later than usual and we don't get to go to bed together. It's not like I'm completely neglecting my marriage.

 

[paki20]

LOL! Thanks for the encouragement! Much thanks to everyone who's posted! Its given me alot insight into this.

To Aggie08 -- I feel conflicted, maybe because I've got a severe cause of guilty conscience-itis, but my mom will be paying for my medical school (please no collective gasp!) and I want the hours I clock in to go towards my med school fees. My significant other is a foreign student studying in the U.S. so he won't have a job until he gets his BS and/or graduates degree. I don't think I'll have a problem though because my mom only has office hours four days a week and I'd be rotating with my sister who will also be going to med school. Thank you for your advice though! 🙂

sorry for butting in again lol...i dont know what kind of relationship you have with your mom, but definitely talk to her if you can..express your concerns about marriage life and how volunteering might take away from your relationship..she will offer her two cents especially since shes a doctor also..and im sure she'll understand..if you are worried that you need to pay her back by clocking-in unnecessary hours then just pay her back once you've become a doctor and have a salary because that is not going to require any extra time on your part because you'll have to work those scheduled hours anyways...plus you should enjoy the early years of your marriage life as much as you can now because those are the best times..it all goes down hill after that lol

props to everyone making marriage life work during school and/or residency and wish you all the best