anyone keeping the pursuit of med school a secret?

[chocolaterie]

this is sort of a rant, so apologies in advance.
has anyone been keeping their plan to pursue medical school a secret?
I feel a little neurotic for typing this.
I wrote a long post and decided to shorten it. I started my college
career thinking I would go to law school. Then I was encouraged to
pursue a career as a librarian, now i'm a sr. hr analyst (last two
years). I decided to do some soul searching and I want to go to medical
school.
My manager knows I'm taking classes at night (I work at a college).
This morning my manager and receptionist started grilling me about why
I was going back to school when I already have a BA.
I told them I was taking classes because I was interested in the
sciences. I guess this wasn't the response she was looking for...
because I was then lectured about finding a hobby, because going to school shouldn't be a hobby.... they somehow think taking general chemistry is a hobby for me?
The problem is complicated. My manager has been great (in
that she's given me promotions, flexed my schedule in the past for my
BA). But I don't want to tell her because we're in the process of a
RIF, and my husband has been laid off for 4 months now. And I don't
quite feel comfortable telling her - because she can be
very critical. I also believe she is grooming me for her position... so she
doesn't want me to leave. she plans to retire in 5 years. I know this sounds contradictory and complicated. But
she express both... We had a another employee who wanted to go to law
school.. and my manager made the remark, "i don't think she's bright enough".
so I've been keeping quiet about it (I know I shouldn't care what she
thinks - but I'm here 40 hrs/week!). I don't believe I should turn my dept
upside down, especially if I don't have a definite response (people gossip a lot in office environments). If I do decently on the MCAT in June, I will tell
her this summer. Am I being unreasonable?

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[DrJD]

this is sort of a rant, so apologies in advance.
has anyone been keeping their plan to pursue medical school a secret?
I feel a little neurotic for typing this.
I wrote a long post and decided to shorten it. I started my college
career thinking I would go to law school. Then I was encouraged to
pursue a career as a librarian, now i'm a sr. hr analyst (last two
years). I decided to do some soul searching and I want to go to medical
school.
My manager knows I'm taking classes at night (I work at a college).
This morning my manager and receptionist started grilling me about why
I was going back to school when I already have a BA.
I told them I was taking classes because I was interested in the
sciences. I guess this wasn't the response she was looking for...
because I was then lectured about finding a hobby, because going to school shouldn't be a hobby.... they somehow think taking general chemistry is a hobby for me?
The problem is complicated. My manager has been great (in
that she's given me promotions, flexed my schedule in the past for my
BA). But I don't want to tell her because we're in the process of a
RIF, and my husband has been laid off for 4 months now. And I don't
quite feel comfortable telling her - because she can be
very critical. I also believe she is grooming me for her position... so she
doesn't want me to leave. she plans to retire in 5 years. I know this sounds contradictory and complicated. But
she express both... We had a another employee who wanted to go to law
school.. and my manager made the remark, "i don't think she's bright enough".
so I've been keeping quiet about it (I know I shouldn't care what she
thinks - but I'm here 40 hrs/week!). I don't believe I should turn my dept
upside down, especially if I don't have a definite response (people gossip a lot in office environments). If I do decently on the MCAT in June, I will tell
her this summer. Am I being unreasonable?

No you aren't being unreasonable. Although personally, I wouldn't tell them your plans until 2 weeks before you start medical school. They shouldn't treat your poorly or lay you off if they know your plans, but we don't live in a perfect world. Look after your family's finances first!

You owe them time to hire a replacement, so maybe give them slightly more than two weeks, but you definitely don't owe them a year of advanced notice. Don't risk it, keep up the good work and continue to get excited about becoming a doctor!

 

[moonshine2]

The only people that I have told at my office are ones who guessed and flat out asked me if I was applying to med school when they found out I was taking Biology. Other than that, I have just told others that asked (my manager included) that I was doing the class because it was something that I was interested in, and never had a chance to take. I have no idea who really knows and who doesn't due to the rate at which gossip spreads around here, but the initial handful that I told are all pretty trustworthy.

I am planning on giving my notice here just as I would if I were leaving to take another job. However, it has been harder than I ever imagined to come to work everyday and act like nothing out of the ordinary is going on when I am really counting down the days until med school starts. I'm planning on my last day being around the first of June to give me some time to clear my head and get some things in order before school starts at the beginning of August.

I don't think it is unreasonable not to say anything until the time is closer.

 

[sirius08]

Chocolaterie, I'm in a similar position. You're not being unreasonable; you're doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. And I agree with DrJD, don't give notice at work until you're absolutely sure about med school. A few weeks' notice might not be ideal, but it's enough.

 

[sindadel]

I definitely agree with the others about not telling anyone. However, I don't really understand where you are wrt pre-reqs. If you're taking general chemistry now, you should not be planning to take the MCAT this June. Unless you've already taken everything else and gen chem is a retake. So you'll be working there for another two or three years, if all goes well.

You probably will have to say something about it during interview season, unless they're extraordinarily flexible and incurious.

Have you considered trying to leverage your HR skills into a clinical position at e.g. your state university so that you would be in a situation which is more tolerant of further education and med school in general?

 

[mdofn14]

Wow I am glad you created that post !!!!!! I work with very envious individuals. Only my family knows my plans. Its sad but sometimes you have to keep your goals secret in order to avoid negative energy.

 

[dragonfly99]

chocolatiere,
do NOT tell the people at work why you are taking these classes.
I would tell them nothing about your plans for med school until you are at the point of going on your first interview(s), if then. They don't need more than a month or two notice.

Agree w/not taking MCAT until you've had 2 years of chemistry.

 

[gman33]

As soon as you tell your manager you are thinking of leaving, it is in his or her best interest to start looking for your replacement. Look out for yourself as they will do the same.

Don't be surprised if you tell them and you get kicked out the door sooner than you would like. I saw this happen plenty of times in the past. Even with people who thought their boss/work would be supportive.

 

[chocolaterie]

hi everyone,

thanks for your support. I had a feeling that this was something I should not discuss at work. I just needed someone to echo my thoughts. For a little bit, I felt selfish/guilty - b/c I know that my absence will be a burden to my office. 🙁

sindadel, I would love to work at one of my three state schools, unfortunately AZ has a huge budget shortfall and they have been conducting RIFs/hiring freezes at the universities/colleges.

I've been studying for the mcat since last year (on and off) so I still plan to take it this June and apply for the 2010 cycle. I'm hoping to get accepted at ATSU-Mesa or AZCOM. I have one other question... does anyone have some suggestions on how to answer the "why are you taking these courses?!" (and still be polite)🙂

 

[Helen Wheels]

I have told some people, including bosses, at my job but I have an atypical work environment and work in an academic research department. It is very laid back here. They are going to find out when I ask my PIs here for LORs this year, anyway. I have otherwise told only the closest friends and family. I think most people probably should not tell people at work since it could be a problem because it means you are leaving. My secretiveness is for a different reason, chocolaterie. I am more concerned that I won't get accepted anywhere (I am applying this summer) and will be embarassed around these people when I don't get in!🙁

 

[chocolaterie]

I have told some people, including bosses, at my job but I have an atypical work environment and work in an academic research department. It is very laid back here. They are going to find out when I ask my PIs here for LORs this year, anyway. I have otherwise told only the closest friends and family. I think most people probably should not tell people at work since it could be a problem because it means you are leaving. My secretiveness is for a different reason, chocolaterie. I am more concerned that I won't get accepted anywhere (I am applying this summer) and will be embarassed around these people when I don't get in!🙁

FuturePittMed, I am a strong believer that if you really want something, you will get it (cliche I know)... and don't say "when you don't get in" be positive!

 

[Helen Wheels]

Thanks, chocolaterie, it is hard to be positive with the MCAT one month away!

 

[nontrdgsbuiucmd]

strongly agree w/dragonfly and others,

the reasons for not telling your office are many, the reasons FOR telling them are few. If your office continues to push you to divulge, and you feel you must, I'd suggest sharing, as you said, that you're interested in the sciences and want to learn more about them.

My thought for how to self-justify not telling your office that you're going to med school -- you've not been accepted yet! Some people who want to go to med school change their minds, others are not accepted, others have family changes that preclude attending med school. At this point, going to med school is something (it sounds like) that you intend to do, provided things continue in a certain order. But this may change.

Also, who knows if there may be another RIF after this one.. if you've told your office you plan to leave in a year or so, versus maybe one of your peers who wants to stay at the office indefinitely, who would your manager feel is the best candidate for the RIF?

Your manager knows many things that he/she is not telling you, as they are not necessary for you to do your job-- maybe your manager knows about future department changes, or a shake-up several levels up, etc. The point is -- this is not your friend, this is someone looking to maintain continuity at your office. Don't tell them!!

 

[saylorsdad]

I told my boss that I am applying, and have been taking classes for a couple of years. In my opinion it adds alot of pressure on you that isn't needed. So if I had to do it over again I would not divulge the information about applying unless I had to. As to personal family/friends, I live in a small town and word gets around pretty quick that the high school science teacher is applying to med school. My church constantly asks me if I am in, what I am going to specialize in ect. It is pretty tough explaining over and over.
My advice is that you don't tell anyone other than spouse/ immediate family and threaten them with their life if they tell. Unless you've applied as a non-trad it is difficult to understand why.

 

[marykate]

this is sort of a rant, so apologies in advance.
has anyone been keeping their plan to pursue medical school a secret?
I feel a little neurotic for typing this.
I wrote a long post and decided to shorten it. I started my college
career thinking I would go to law school. Then I was encouraged to
pursue a career as a librarian, now i'm a sr. hr analyst (last two
years). I decided to do some soul searching and I want to go to medical
school.
My manager knows I'm taking classes at night (I work at a college).
This morning my manager and receptionist started grilling me about why
I was going back to school when I already have a BA.
I told them I was taking classes because I was interested in the
sciences. I guess this wasn't the response she was looking for...
because I was then lectured about finding a hobby, because going to school shouldn't be a hobby.... they somehow think taking general chemistry is a hobby for me?
The problem is complicated. My manager has been great (in
that she's given me promotions, flexed my schedule in the past for my
BA). But I don't want to tell her because we're in the process of a
RIF, and my husband has been laid off for 4 months now. And I don't
quite feel comfortable telling her - because she can be
very critical. I also believe she is grooming me for her position... so she
doesn't want me to leave. she plans to retire in 5 years. I know this sounds contradictory and complicated. But
she express both... We had a another employee who wanted to go to law
school.. and my manager made the remark, "i don't think she's bright enough".
so I've been keeping quiet about it (I know I shouldn't care what she
thinks - but I'm here 40 hrs/week!). I don't believe I should turn my dept
upside down, especially if I don't have a definite response (people gossip a lot in office environments). If I do decently on the MCAT in June, I will tell
her this summer. Am I being unreasonable?

OMG!! i can relate!! i have a BA in polisci.. decided my senior year to take pre med classes and received nothing but bs from teachers, advisors, pre med advisor(aka devil reincarnated) i never tell anyone at my various jobs what i am doing bc the response is usually "oh you think your better than us?", "arent you special", "wait til you dnt have to work and can make millions of dollars" . no joke.
i dnt think you're being unreasonable at all. You have no idea what your boss is really thinking bc she never outright told you. I say go w/ your gut and do what you want to do bc ultimately the one to really live with the consequences of your career path is you! Good luck!!

 

[marykate]

MY experience with the pre med advisor was anything but for my benefit. If anything, it almost deterred me from applying to medical school. It seemed that since I had not taken the usual path, that the dept did not want to help me. Anyone else have a similar experience?

 

[CMBdoc]

I am an E-7 that is getting out of the military(finally😀) to chase my dream. I would agree with the others, don't tell anyone. I'm still wondering how I will tell my parents, I know I'll get the why are you getting out, you're doing so good speech? But you only live once! BTW you guys are awesome!! I work with so many people that feel trapped but are scared to improve their situation. Best of luck to you chocolaterie👍

 

[thes_hunter]

@chocolaterie - I remember when I first started taking my pre-reqs I was working a job, and everyone knew I left at lunch to go attend a biology course. If it was possible, I would have never told them I was taking the course, because oh did I get questions. I tried playing up the "Yeah, I'm a professional student" thing. I tried to say "I'm just interested in Biology." No one seemed to buy it.

If I had that stage to re-do over again, I would have come up with a story that wouldn't have pointed to me leaving. Like saying that I had an idea for a new invention, but that I needed some more understanding to get it to market, and because I was so far from patent, I wasn't going to be saying anything... or something. But yeah, it's rough, especially since it sounds like your manager is pushing.

My manager at the time cornered me and asked me why I wanted to become a doctor? And I was all "How did he know?!" I denied it, but he came back and said that what I really should do is get married and then I could play around all day, and not have to worry about supporting myself. 🙄

Anyway, I stuck the job out, and eventually they did lay me off, but it came with a severance package which was enough to carry me through a semester of full time classes. It is too bad that your husband is also out of work at the moment, but I am sure things will look up for you.



@moonshine2 - Congrats on your acceptance! But aye, I hear ya on the whole keeping quiet thing. I trust and respect my current place of employment enough that I gave them my 4 months notice. However I did so at my own risk, but I gambled that it could take them that long to find a replacement, and I doubt they will lay me off without one.

However, it is still a big risk, and I do not blame you for keeping quiet about it until you give your notice. Congrats again, and good luck with keeping that bottle corked until it comes time to tell people. 😀

@FuturePittMed - As Chocolaterie said "STAY POSITIVE". It might take you longer than you would like, but YOU WILL GET IN. However, it is better not to say anything, for reasons dragonfly99, and mdofn08 have said. Too much negativity, too many questions, too much risk.

When you approach your PI's let them know how much you enjoy working with them, and how much you have appreciated their guidance. Here is a place where you can show some doubt, and tell them that if med school doesn't work out, you are more than happy to continue working with them, and emphasize how great of an opportunity it is. (Even if you don't feel it, make yourself feel it for this meeting).

I am sure you will find that your PI's are very supportive, but if I were in your place I would still ask them to keep it quiet until you got in.

Good luck! I know you can make that MCAT cry like a little girl!

@marykate - I also found the pre-med adviser to be very discouraging. It focused a lot of on the negative and what I can't change, instead of on the positive and what I could.

Even with my 2.99 undergrad GPA, I worked on my weakness to demonstrate that I could hack medical school. It was a long road but I have been accepted to Wayne State University for the 2013 year. You can do it, focus on the positive and attack the things you can change. Any energy spent worrying about things you can't takes time away from you being able to change the things you can.

Good luck!

@CBMdoc - You have made an amazing observation. It takes a lot of courage to change the situation you are in. Many people fall into the gravitational pull of complacency. It becomes easier to stay where one is at than to take the risk of trying to change.

You are right, everyone here deserves a big pat on the back for daring to dream, and for taking steps to make that dream come true.

Good luck!

 

[chocolaterie]

👍

thanks everyone. It's been a struggle. I've been keeping it a secret now for 7 months. ahh! but I'm glad we have a supportive network on SDN. It's always nice to be able to vent. I'm sure my husband sends his thanks😀.

 

[marykate]

thank you for the words of encouragement! its nice to know that you arent alone in the obstacles to get into school! best of luck to you all!

 

[jclare]

oh my gosh... thank GOODNESS for this thread!

I've been struggling with this very issue for several months now. Only my immediate family knows of my plans... but it's been absolutely KILLING ME not to tell my boss. She has been so wonderful to me, that I truly do want to give her as much notice as possible, but I also worry that it would NOT be in my best interest to say anything at this point.

I'll be relocating as soon as I sell my home (28, divorced, no kids, etc) to be able to enroll in school to get my pre-reqs done. I wish I could start volunteering now, but it's such a small town that the rumor mill would get cranking right away!

I'm still in the early EARLY stages of my journey, but am SO glad to have found SDN! You guys are amazing!

 

[NonTradMed]

Just realize that most people at work do not talk openly about their future plans of leaving their work place. Applying to med school is no different. Where I worked, I knew plenty of people that eventually jumped companies but none disclosed they were searching for a new job until after the fact. I was even recruited and offered another job in a different company. Only some friends knew about this. The recruiter was also very discrete, asking me this was an appropriate time to speak with him when he calls me.

Only a few close friends knew I was applying to med school. I told my friends that I was offered another job but not about the med school bit because I didn't want the pressure of having my friends watch me go through the process.

My suggestion would be to keep closed mouth about your prereqs. Don't remind people you're taking classes. What you do in your spare time is your own business. Once you got that acceptance in hand, then you can tell. If finances is an issue, keep quiet about med school until a month or so before quitting. This way, the company won't lay you off or shovel you off to less pleasant jobs because "you're leaving anyways".

No one likes to hear of their coworkers/colleagues working towards leaving the company, be it for school or another company. Aim to tell everyone AFTER your acceptance. This way, you got your acceptance, and no egg on your face in case you didn't get in.

 

[Sporknife]

this is sort of a rant, so apologies in advance.
has anyone been keeping their plan to pursue medical school a secret?
I feel a little neurotic for typing this.
I wrote a long post and decided to shorten it. I started my college
career thinking I would go to law school. Then I was encouraged to
pursue a career as a librarian, now i'm a sr. hr analyst (last two
years). I decided to do some soul searching and I want to go to medical
school.
My manager knows I'm taking classes at night (I work at a college).
This morning my manager and receptionist started grilling me about why
I was going back to school when I already have a BA.
I told them I was taking classes because I was interested in the
sciences. I guess this wasn't the response she was looking for...
because I was then lectured about finding a hobby, because going to school shouldn't be a hobby.... they somehow think taking general chemistry is a hobby for me?
The problem is complicated. My manager has been great (in
that she's given me promotions, flexed my schedule in the past for my
BA). But I don't want to tell her because we're in the process of a
RIF, and my husband has been laid off for 4 months now. And I don't
quite feel comfortable telling her - because she can be
very critical. I also believe she is grooming me for her position... so she
doesn't want me to leave. she plans to retire in 5 years. I know this sounds contradictory and complicated. But
she express both... We had a another employee who wanted to go to law
school.. and my manager made the remark, "i don't think she's bright enough".
so I've been keeping quiet about it (I know I shouldn't care what she
thinks - but I'm here 40 hrs/week!). I don't believe I should turn my dept
upside down, especially if I don't have a definite response (people gossip a lot in office environments). If I do decently on the MCAT in June, I will tell
her this summer. Am I being unreasonable?

I am also keeping my pursuance of medical school a secret, and ALSO feeling really neurotic. I feel it necessary to be able to focus, and whose business is it anyway? I have only asked permission from my husband (newlyweds, no kids yet) and my mother (in her 60s). Surprisingly, they are both on board and my mother is now trying to keep this secret from my dad who thinks im going to law school. Everyone else in my life (e.g. friends and other relatives) are really judgmental of all my flip flopping over the years. I recently realized that the reason I was so indecisive because no other profession seemed to be worthwhile and fulfilling as being a physician😍, I realized this when I was comparing doc salaries with me getting an MBA and I didnt care that I may make more with an MBA.

Frankly, I mentioned this to people in the past and I was often discouraged (too easily, I admit) with people continually making comments about my fitness to be a doctor etc. So..eff em' (pardon my french)

I would not tell anyone unless you really trust them and then finally announce this with your acceptance letter in hand.

 

[chocolaterie]

I am also keeping my pursuance of medical school a secret, and ALSO feeling really neurotic. I feel it necessary to be able to focus, and whose business is it anyway? I have only asked permission from my husband (newlyweds, no kids yet) and my mother (in her 60s). Surprisingly, they are both on board and my mother is now trying to keep this secret from my dad who thinks im going to law school. Everyone else in my life (e.g. friends and other relatives) are really judgmental of all my flip flopping over the years. I recently realized that the reason I was so indecisive because no other profession seemed to be worthwhile and fulfilling as being a physician😍, I realized this when I was comparing doc salaries with me getting an MBA and I didnt care that I may make more with an MBA.

Frankly, I mentioned this to people in the past and I was often discouraged (too easily, I admit) with people continually making comments about my fitness to be a doctor etc. So..eff em' (pardon my french)

I would not tell anyone unless you really trust them and then finally announce this with your acceptance letter in hand.

heh, I've changed my mind a dozen times! sometimes i think of joining the circus! I think everyone should be allowed to change their minds... you really only have one life.

 

[fergierrt]

I don't go into the nitty gritty of my plans at work either. They know I am in school, and they know what I am doing. The thing is I just transferred into my school, so work doesn't know that I am a senior. Basically, I took 24 credit hours a semester with a 4.0 before, so I transferred in higher than most. So while my bosses know what I am doing, they have no idea how close I am to actually doing it, and I plan to keep it that way until I have no choice. I have no intention of surrendering my job now until I have to. If possible, I don't even want to quit for med school. I just want to change to PRN status so I don't have a set obligation, which would allow me to pick up shifts during breaks, holidays, etc. What other student has a job that allows them to make $400/day, which would be what I would make as a PRN employee???

I think it is wise to protect yourself professionally while you work toward your goals. Sad to say, but medicine is prestigious for a reason: not everyone is successful. In my opinion, I would hate for it to interfere in my career I have now, and then be in a pickle if I don't make the cut down the road.

 

[fergierrt]

heh, I've changed my mind a dozen times! sometimes i think of joining the circus! I think everyone should be allowed to change their minds... you really only have one life.

Ha! When the stress gets to me, I swear, some days I insist I am going to go and be a greeter at Wal-Mart! You get that way after having 4 patients code simultaneously.

 

[Thorpedo]

I work in an operating room, and most people there know I planned on applying to med school but switched to PA school. I recently decided that taking the shorter route isn't necessarily what I'm looking for. I have talked to a few people about it, but mostly everyone who knew I was looking at PA school still thinks that--including my family and girlfriend.

 

[anavistas]

From my experience don't tell anybody what you want to do!I was keeping this secret and I had a happy life then I thought I'm stressed out and telling others what I want to do might help me, also I couldn't justify why I'm not applying to PhD...then everything changed ...everybody tried to discourage me ..even one of the professors who was always helping me and knew why I'm taking undergrad courses suddenly tried to make problems..They told me I can't take undegrad courses anymore(though other students were taking those courses for reasons other than medicine)..they even told me I can 't work for one semester because the money will be wasted!
As others said nobody needs to know unless you are sure you are starting med school in 2 weeks!

 

[Sporknife]

heh, I've changed my mind a dozen times! sometimes i think of joining the circus! I think everyone should be allowed to change their minds... you really only have one life.

Thanks for sharing the same sentiment. Im tired of hearing of people that have always known what they wanted to be (e.g. lawyer, engineer, pornstar...etc.)

 

[Deepa100]

I quit my job to start the pre-reqs so, I told people who asked me what I was going to school for. Not a big deal. It was more annoying during the application cycle to be asked if I got in yet a hundred times.

 

[carmen1409]

I can totally relate! I have only told a few friends and my manager at work. I don't want to tell anyone because I'm afraid they'll ask too many questions and I have to justify my decision or discourage me or at work I'm afraid they won't give me more responsibility because they think I'm not committed to them. I know most people will be encouraging but I also don't want anyone to know in case I fail. Probably a very sad reason, but I don't want anyone to know that I took two years out of my career to go back to get pre-reqs only to not get accepted to medical school.

 

[Kvj]

This all sounds very familiar!

I am not even telling my husband yet. I probably won't tell him until I've applied for med school and he cannot possibly dissent.

My employer (a DoD contractor, I am also a veteran) doesn't understand why I'm not going to school for engineering since they'll pay for it. If it were only that easy? Yes, let me do that because it's convenient, nevermind it isn't what i'm interested in...

So apparently this is a common thread! Closet aspiring med school students UNITE! quietly...

 

[billw]

I found that, despite not being involved in medicine, almost everyone I told was an expert on the extremely long odds of making it into med school as an older student.

Now I keep it to myself.

 

[malpractician]

This all sounds very familiar!

I am not even telling my husband yet. I probably won't tell him until I've applied for med school and he cannot possibly dissent.

My employer (a DoD contractor, I am also a veteran) doesn't understand why I'm not going to school for engineering since they'll pay for it. If it were only that easy? Yes, let me do that because it's convenient, nevermind it isn't what i'm interested in...

So apparently this is a common thread! Closet aspiring med school students UNITE! quietly...

As a soon to be vet in a contractor environment, believe me I know what you're experiencing. I don't even bother telling people I'm aiming for dental school, I just say "college... biomedical, i'll do research and stuff".

My recent ex-girlfriend though actually doubted my ability to get into dental school, which did shock me, and I decided I can't spend time with someone like her. She's the one stuck who never finished her PhD and wants to hold me back too... but anyways...

 

[CogitoA1]

Absolutely say nothing about applying to medical school if it will endanger your income. You do not owe them anything other than two-weeks notice, and they WILL begin looking to replace you as soon as they learn that you have no long-term future there.

As far as what you say when they ask about your classes... say it's a hobby. Say you just find it fascinating, and like to keep a balanced life. Who says school shouldn't be a hobby? Nonsense. It's your life and your money, and if you get a kick out of general chemistry, then good for you. Laugh about it. Call yourself a nerd. And if you're uncomfortable, just pivot the conversation back to them. Ask them about their hobbies. What they're reading etc. There is nothing unethical about lying here.

 

[HealthE]

Wow I am glad you created that post !!!!!! I work with very envious individuals. Only my family knows my plans. Its sad but sometimes you have to keep your goals secret in order to avoid negative energy.

I know this is old but glad I came across it. I am not telling people anymore at all. I need to makeup why I am taking classes.

 

[ATS89]

@chocolaterie - I remember when I first started taking my pre-reqs I was working a job, and everyone knew I left at lunch to go attend a biology course. If it was possible, I would have never told them I was taking the course, because oh did I get questions. I tried playing up the "Yeah, I'm a professional student" thing. I tried to say "I'm just interested in Biology." No one seemed to buy it.

If I had that stage to re-do over again, I would have come up with a story that wouldn't have pointed to me leaving. Like saying that I had an idea for a new invention, but that I needed some more understanding to get it to market, and because I was so far from patent, I wasn't going to be saying anything... or something. But yeah, it's rough, especially since it sounds like your manager is pushing.

My manager at the time cornered me and asked me why I wanted to become a doctor? And I was all "How did he know?!" I denied it, but he came back and said that what I really should do is get married and then I could play around all day, and not have to worry about supporting myself. 🙄

Anyway, I stuck the job out, and eventually they did lay me off, but it came with a severance package which was enough to carry me through a semester of full time classes. It is too bad that your husband is also out of work at the moment, but I am sure things will look up for you.



@moonshine2 - Congrats on your acceptance! But aye, I hear ya on the whole keeping quiet thing. I trust and respect my current place of employment enough that I gave them my 4 months notice. However I did so at my own risk, but I gambled that it could take them that long to find a replacement, and I doubt they will lay me off without one.

However, it is still a big risk, and I do not blame you for keeping quiet about it until you give your notice. Congrats again, and good luck with keeping that bottle corked until it comes time to tell people. 😀

@FuturePittMed - As Chocolaterie said "STAY POSITIVE". It might take you longer than you would like, but YOU WILL GET IN. However, it is better not to say anything, for reasons dragonfly99, and mdofn08 have said. Too much negativity, too many questions, too much risk.

When you approach your PI's let them know how much you enjoy working with them, and how much you have appreciated their guidance. Here is a place where you can show some doubt, and tell them that if med school doesn't work out, you are more than happy to continue working with them, and emphasize how great of an opportunity it is. (Even if you don't feel it, make yourself feel it for this meeting).

I am sure you will find that your PI's are very supportive, but if I were in your place I would still ask them to keep it quiet until you got in.

Good luck! I know you can make that MCAT cry like a little girl!

@marykate - I also found the pre-med adviser to be very discouraging. It focused a lot of on the negative and what I can't change, instead of on the positive and what I could.

Even with my 2.99 undergrad GPA, I worked on my weakness to demonstrate that I could hack medical school. It was a long road but I have been accepted to Wayne State University for the 2013 year. You can do it, focus on the positive and attack the things you can change. Any energy spent worrying about things you can't takes time away from you being able to change the things you can.

Good luck!

@CBMdoc - You have made an amazing observation. It takes a lot of courage to change the situation you are in. Many people fall into the gravitational pull of complacency. It becomes easier to stay where one is at than to take the risk of trying to change.

You are right, everyone here deserves a big pat on the back for daring to dream, and for taking steps to make that dream come true.

Good luck!

Oh my soul, can I relate! After reading this post, I am going to do my best not to discuss my post bacc program with ANYONE! The questions are incredibly hard to avoid. I attempted to tell my friends and family that I was interested in the pharmaceutical industry and wanted to expand the breadth of my scientific knowledge so that I may improve the pricing strategy of certain formularies. I am a group health broker and no one understands what I do daily so I thought they would buy it. I am pretty certain, they just picked up my non-verbal signals that were screaming, "I do not want to discuss any science program until the day I start med school!" Over the years, I have kept my desire to become a doc hidden from everyone unwilling to let them steal my confidence. I am glad to know others feel the same way about protecting themselves from negative energy. Best of luck to everyone on this journey.

 

[petomed]

We've had RIF's and 're-structuring' at my company basically since I began diy prereq's nearly two years ago. Believe me, continuity is at the forefront of your manager's mind, especially if your workplace has been experiencing RIF's. The rapport between you and your manager may be friendly, cheerful, even supportive--but at the end of the day you are little more than a line item on their quarterly budget. Your manager has superiors to report to and likely a family to feed, do you think they will break their back to keep you around when push comes to shove? No one talks about their intention to leave their company unless they are certain they are able to leave on their own accord. There is reason for this rhyme. Nontrad hopefuls like us are no exception.

I do not believe I would still be employed with my company if my manager knew about my intentions and/or timeline. It is extremely difficult to live two lives like this but more than likely it is in your best interest. My only hope is that my good fortune continues at the emergency room I've been volunteering at throughout this process. It is inevitable that I will meet someone in triage that should not see me there.

 

[docgoals90]

I also spent most of my life intending to be a lawyer and my career focused on political, economic justice efforts in nonorofit work, alongside my commitment to political organizing. I was hesitant to tell people outside of my close friends and family group, but ive become more open about it. Its a relatively recent commitment and interest, so people are surprised by it and some dont even understand it. But I spent the last few years debating law school and never took the plunge, when the lsat is far more suited to my current skillset. After considering a career in medicine, I feel so much clarity that I was lacking to push me into law school. The biggest downside is time and a switch from the effort toward larger scale change, but I'm discovering ways to marry my political/policy focus with medicine in volunteer opportunities and longer term career goals.

Anyway, I'm not at my old job anymore. Im looking for part time work and pursuing a second bachelors first. If i didnt feel comfortable sharing, I wouldnt. You dont owe anyone an explanation. But im an oversharer and chatter box so it was only a matter of time before I started telling more people.