Anyone willing to look over my PS?

[bob_dylan]

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Would anyone be willing to take a quick look at my PS and share your thoughts/feedback? If anyone's in the same position I could also take a look at yours. Thanks in advance.

 

[Detective SnowBucket]

give it to me



EDIT; I SWEar to gOD. If anyone besides OP messages me ASKING abOUET their PS too I will reAch thrOUGH this ScREEN and slap THeM