thewalrus

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Hey there -
So I just posted this in Allo but I figured I'd put it here too seeing as this forum tends to be more active. And also I thought a bit of a distraction from all the non-rolling madness going on right now could be a good thing ;)
Here it is:

Hi all -
Ok, first off, a disclaimer: this is a serious post, I'm not a troll.
I actually post quite a bit in the various forums, but I created a new
username just for this post, so no-one could work out who I was or
whatever (yea I know, paranoid much)
So anyway, the subject line basically says it all. Are there any med.
students here (or lurking pre-meds even) that have/ have had an ED
(eating disorder) of any kind? If so, how do you deal w/ it in med.
school? Has the pressure etc. worsened your condition or has learning about
medicine made you more aware and eager to try and get help, work
through it etc.?
Any thoughts/ comments (serious only, please) would be much
appreciated. If you're uncomfortable posting here, feel free to PM me.
I guess I should give a little background to this:
As you may have surmised by now, I have an ED history. Basically,
have been anorexic off and on (as it goes) since about age 15 (am now
23, headed to med. school this year). Fairly standard story: I was a
competitive gymnast, plus a super-perfectionist in a well-known private
prep school and, subsequently, an ivy undergrad. And so on and so on. In any
case, I guess I'm just curious/ worried in terms of how this will pan
out at med. school because obviously it seems like med. students,
doctors etc. should "know better" but, even though I (scientifically
or academically, at any rate) "know better" right now, I'm still
struggling with this. I guess I'm just wondering if there's anyone else
out there who can relate to this at all, or if I'm some lone hypocritical
psycho who is about to embark upon a career that involves caring for others
and impressing upon them the value of taking care of themselves and their
health when I clearly am not so great at taking care of mine.
Wow, that was long. Sorry Thanks for reading (if you did!)
 

VPDcurt

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I don't really know the answer to your question (sounds like a professional would be the best person to see), but I definitely thought you were talking about Erectile Dysfunction when I saw the title :) .

Good Luck.
 

AndrewB

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Maybe you should stop referring to yourself as "thewalrus." Obviously self-image/self-esteem is the biggest factor that pushes people to an eating disorder. It sounds like you are on the right track though.
 

gbiz

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I thought ED meant early decision at first!


Well I guess technically you could say I have an eating disorder. Ive spent most of my life very overweight; however when I would have growth spurts I would loose some weight. I have been "on a diet" my entire life (thats changed now, its not "on a diet" anymore, its a lifestyle).

I lost weight going into high school, started working out... but then ballooned my senior year to 220-225 lbs (5'9", not much muscle b/c I was working out much less).

So then comes college, and I turn into the direct opposite. I was down to 140 lbs by the start of my second year; if you saw me, it was bad, I was too skinny. I know some guys that are 5'7" around that weight who look fine- not me, I looked fragile and weak. Once in a while, I would not eat anything in a day, once two days.

Since then, Ive been working out regularly, building muscle, plus I play ice hockey regularly. I am at 175 lbs now, mostly muscle gain. I actually want to be right around 165.

So I guess my life is an eating disorder :/
 

gbiz

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thewalrus said:
... involves caring for others
and impressing upon them the value of taking care of themselves and their
health when I clearly am not so great at taking care of mine...
Most doctors Ive met do a terrible job at taking care of themselves ;)
 

rayofdiana

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Yes, I have had an ED in the past. Bulimic through high school, switched to anorexia sophomore year in college. Since then, I've been "clean," with the occasional purge (no binging, just a freak out and purge). I've thought a lot about how I'm going to keep it under control in med school, and I think the answer for me is based on support. The schools I'm still considering are in areas where I have close friends or family. I don't want to be all alone in a new area, because that's when things tend to flare up the most. Otherwise, I'm trying to stay aware of my other coping techniques and incorporating them into my schedule.

Yeah, it's tough. Feel free to PM me if you want.