Applying Together...

[HurricaneKatt]

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My boyfriend and I are trying to get into Medical School together. Obviously, this makes things much more complicated and stressful. But so worth it. 😍 😉 Anyways, I'm just wondering if mentioning this in interviews (if the opportunity arises in the natural flow of conversation) could help us, hurt us, or whether it would make any difference at all? No negative or snarky comments please. Just honest input. If anyone on here is an adcom and wants to comment that could be appreciated. 😀 😉

 

[ShoTyme]

I personally wouldn't mention it. I don't see how it could help.

 

[NeuralNetwork]

My boyfriend and I are trying to get into Medical School together. Obviously, this makes things much more complicated and stressful. But so worth it. 😍 😉 Anyways, I'm just wondering if mentioning this in interviews (if the opportunity arises in the natural flow of conversation) could help us, hurt us, or whether it would make any difference at all? No negative or snarky comments please. Just honest input. If anyone on here is an adcom and wants to comment that could be appreciated. 😀 😉

They won't care either way because that conversation would most likely lead no where - they are trying to find out about you, not your significant other. You might end up mentioning it passing, but don't expect it to be anything more than talk on your end. If I was you, I would definitely not put much thought into it. If it happens, it happens, but the best thing to do is to plan for more important rhetoric, like: why their school? why medicine?

 

[flodhi1]

My boyfriend and I are trying to get into Medical School together. Obviously, this makes things much more complicated and stressful. But so worth it. 😍 😉 Anyways, I'm just wondering if mentioning this in interviews (if the opportunity arises in the natural flow of conversation) could help us, hurt us, or whether it would make any difference at all? No negative or snarky comments please. Just honest input. If anyone on here is an adcom and wants to comment that could be appreciated. 😀 😉

I'm sure they want to talk about more important things.

 

[LifeTake2]

Husband...definitely matters
Fiancee...might matter
Boyfriend...does NOT matter

I would apply and do your best where YOU can get in. If you both get in there great, but the school is not going to 'link' your applications if that is what you are asking. You CAN do this for residency match for a spouse, assuming you get to that point though.

 

[GetThePointe77]

GOOD LUCK
although my sig is not applying to medical school, I can somewhat empathize on how stressful this process is. Just be realistic about how much you may have to be willing to sacrifice in order to go to the same place/area. I wouldnt mention it in an interview unless youre married though...

 

[blkshrtdynasty]

My boyfriend and I are trying to get into Medical School together. Obviously, this makes things much more complicated and stressful. But so worth it. 😍 😉 Anyways, I'm just wondering if mentioning this in interviews (if the opportunity arises in the natural flow of conversation) could help us, hurt us, or whether it would make any difference at all? No negative or snarky comments please. Just honest input. If anyone on here is an adcom and wants to comment that could be appreciated. 😀 😉

I hope this doesn't sound snarky, but it sort of sounds trite if you bring it up. It just is the way it is. I did bring up my wife's school at both of my last interviews as a reason why I wanted to be in-state, and while I don't think the fact that we're married necessarily makes us more legit (lots of couples are together for their entire lives without getting married), it is commonly perceived that way. If you're married, that's your partner, and you make decisions together. Boyfriend/girlfriend leaves lots of room for interpretation, and could very well backfire.

 

[duress]

It's probably not a good idea to bring up your bf/gf, because to older adcoms I imagine it just seems like puppy/transient love at your presumably young age.

 

[SEE13]

I'm not an adcom, but my significant other and I are both applying this cycle (and recently found out that we share an acceptance at the same school 🙂 ), so I do know a little bit about this type of situation.

I never mentioned my s/o during an interview, and I would not recommend doing so because you don't want the interviewer to think that you applied to the school just because he did. That would be REALLY bad. On that note, I wouldn't recommend applying to a school just because your boyfriend is applying, because it could cause some resentment down the road. My s/o and I made our list of schools without consulting each other at all, but we just happened to have some overlap because we have similar stats and interests.

I remember reading a thread this summer where LizzyM said that once one person in the couple is accepted at a certain school, it may be appropriate for the other person to send a letter of intent to the school and possibly mention the fact that they would love to go to the same school as their significant other who has already been accepted. In this case, the school may be a little more likely to accept the applicant because they have a high chance of matriculating. However, I think that that only really applies when you are engaged or married.

 

[HurricaneKatt]

GOOD LUCK
although my sig is not applying to medical school, I can somewhat empathize on how stressful this process is. Just be realistic about how much you may have to be willing to sacrifice in order to go to the same place/area. I wouldn't mention it in an interview unless you're married though...

I'm very realistic about the sacrifices that may need to be made and we have both discussed in depth what that may mean. (there should be a hair-pulling emote here lol). It certainly makes the whole process a LOT more complicated and stressful, but we are both very committed to each other as well as med school and we intend to see this through. Thank you for the good wishes. 🙂

I hope this doesn't sound snarky, but it sort of sounds trite if you bring it up. It just is the way it is. I did bring up my wife's school at both of my last interviews as a reason why I wanted to be in-state, and while I don't think the fact that we're married necessarily makes us more legit (lots of couples are together for their entire lives without getting married), it is commonly perceived that way. If you're married, that's your partner, and you make decisions together. Boyfriend/girlfriend leaves lots of room for interpretation, and could very well backfire.

That's what I worry about too. 🙁 We are in a very serious, committed relationship and have been for some time, but not being married seems to essentially devalue our relationship to nothing but "puppy love" as duress mentioned in the eyes of others. (including my old fashioned parents - they won't believe anything is past puppy love until I'm 40 and married for 10 years I'm sure 🙄 lmao)

I'm not an adcom, but my significant other and I are both applying this cycle (and recently found out that we share an acceptance at the same school 🙂 ), so I do know a little bit about this type of situation.

I never mentioned my s/o during an interview, and I would not recommend doing so because you don't want the interviewer to think that you applied to the school just because he did. That would be REALLY bad. On that note, I wouldn't recommend applying to a school just because your boyfriend is applying, because it could cause some resentment down the road. My s/o and I made our list of schools without consulting each other at all, but we just happened to have some overlap because we have similar stats and interests.

I remember reading a thread this summer where LizzyM said that once one person in the couple is accepted at a certain school, it may be appropriate for the other person to send a letter of intent to the school and possibly mention the fact that they would love to go to the same school as their significant other who has already been accepted. In this case, the school may be a little more likely to accept the applicant because they have a high chance of matriculating. However, I think that that only really applies when you are engaged or married.

That's not a bad idea, I will definitely mention that to my s/o. Congrats on the shared acceptance by the way! 👍 I'm jealous! lol As for schools, we've already chosen and applied to all of our schools, we're finishing up the last few secondaries. It is nice to know that someone has accomplished it. How many schools (in common) did you apply to?


Thank you all for the input, it's appreciated and helpful. 🙂

 

[NickNaylor]

Husband...definitely matters
Fiancee...might matter
Boyfriend...does NOT matter

I pretty much agree with this. Dropping a line about your "boyfriend" will probably come off as childish and immature. If you were married, however, that'd be an entirely different thing, and is definitely something that would be beneficial to you two, ESPECIALLY if one of you was accepted and the other was waitlisted.

Being engaged is a bit of a gray area, but I would still mention it. It might not be appropriate in the interview, but, if something happens like the above, then I would definitely say something.

Good luck.

 

[aSagacious]

I remember reading a thread this summer where LizzyM said that once one person in the couple is accepted at a certain school, it may be appropriate for the other person to send a letter of intent to the school and possibly mention the fact that they would love to go to the same school as their significant other who has already been accepted. In this case, the school may be a little more likely to accept the applicant because they have a high chance of matriculating. However, I think that that only really applies when you are engaged or married.

I think this is what you were referring to: 🙂

This would be true but hard boiled adcom members turn into romantics 😍 when faced with couples who want to stay together. However, you'll be most successful if you at least engaged by your senior year. Adcoms sometimes like to know "if admitted this one will matriculate" and that is more assured if one's partner has already been admitted or has a strong tie to the area (e.g. already a student or locked into a job).

 

[girlofgrace7]

It might be worthwhile to mention in passing, but it honestly will not likely matter in this situation. Married couples are weighed as a couple when they interview, but I have never heard of a scenario when a boyfriend/girlfriend situation would be taken into account. It may in fact hurt you since there is a high break-up rate during first year of med school (and admissions is aware of this... our dean of admissions jokes with us during our first year about how we're "forbidden from dating" due to the drama it creates). As far as married couples go, they won't fail to accept one if they are a strong applicant, but if they really want an applicant, they'll evaluate whether they should also accept a husband/wife if they have a borderline ranking since adcoms know that married couples want to end up in the same city at the very least.

 

[chronicidal]

Let me summarize this thread by paraphrasing.

- an army of (probably single) premeds and med students: "it'll never work! I've never heard of it working! especially without an engagement ring! you'll probably break up anyway! it's so trivial! it's so trite! don't even think of mentioning it!"

- quote of an admissions committee member: "it can help a little because adcoms are compassionate people. it can help even more if you're at least engaged."

Let me then add my own experience:

- dean of admissions. interviewing me. I naturally mention a girlfriend during conversation (I forget how; perhaps during an explanation of what I do for fun). dean inquires a bit further, and I reveal that she's also applying for medical schools, in fact she'll be interviewing at this school in the near future. dean inquires whether we are in one of those long-term relationships. I answer in the affirmative; we've been together for three years. dean inquires her name. I get nervous and a bit embarrassed to be talking about this because, at that point, I hadn't thought through this scenario thoroughly. I give the name. dean says it's good to know because they take an interest in committed couples. dean writes it down on my file. end result is positive.

- gf interviews OOS to my state school. during question about why that school, mentions that the school is her bf's state school. end result is ambiguous/unclear.

- gf interviews at top 10 school. we share an activity in common. dean asks her if she knows me because I interviewed there a week prior. she says, yea, in fact we've been dating several years. dean's like, oh that's nice; we like him. end result is unknown at the moment.

- gf gets accepted at super selective school (two). then I haven't gotten an invite / haven't been accepted yet. on phone with coordinator/dean, she casually asks if they consider this kind of information (applying together); coordinator/dean says yea just write an email and it'll be put in my file. end result is unknown at the moment (ask me in a month).

- at one school, interviewer is intent on determining whether I would choose their school over one ranked higher. I say that it's not so simple, personal considerations, i.e. a significant other, would be at play. This was both true and helped me get out of an uncomfortable question. Interviewer found the answer very fair. I didn't intend on this having any effect on her/me getting in though. I didn't say her name. Result unknown at the moment (ask me in a few weeks).

I would also venture to say that marriage is no guarantee that both people will absolutely stay in the same city (i.e. matriculate together). My parents would say that in fact, marriage makes it easier to split apart temporarily (four years is "temporary") because you have a solid commitment that holds you together in the long-distance relationship.

- Finally, since apocryphal anecdotes hold so much sway in SDN: I heard from my student interviewer at one school, and a student at a separate school, that one (unmarried?) couple they know told their schools that they come as a package, and it worked out well; they're together at case western currently.

Here's my advice (which you should take with as much salt as you do with the previous posts): 1) make it natural and sincere, 2) it helps if you are both strong applicants, 3) I don't think it could hurt that much (so what, you're naive and in love? that makes you human.), 4) it probably works better if one of you have some leverage (been accepted already), but don't make it sound like you're making any promises (i.e. we'll def both come if we're accepted, or I'll def not come if he's not accepted).

I'm of the opinion that doing this will help to take out some of the stochasticity in this process. You kind of average out the noise in the process by grouping a pair. Does that make sense statistically?

The risks of NOT telling schools: 1) increased chance that you end up at different schools, 2) prolonged anxiety and feelings of inadequacy when one of you gets into a shared school and the other is waitlisted or on hold.

 

[kansaskid]

I don't think there's anything wrong with mentioning it in a grown-up way or maybe even alluding to a more serious relationship...like saying something like "my fiance is also applying and navigating this process together has been interesting."

I don't know though. I was worried about my fiance getting brought up at interviews as a negative factor and he's not even in medicine. I wore my engagement ring, though. I thought it would be silly to take it off. If a school was super judgmental of my relationship I probably didn't want to end up there anyway. So finding a subtle way to mention it might not be a bad thing.

Another idea would be to just email the admissions coordinator (or whoever handles admissions related emails at the school) after your interviews and explain the situation more fully. This way it could go on record but wouldn't affect how your interviewers perceived you. Eh, it's a tricky situation, especially with more tenuous relationship titles.

But I feel ya. My fiance is going to be applying to graduate programs and basically he just decided to wait and see what city I was going to end up in before he pursued it. Luckily, grad programs typically accept applications way later in the season to start in the fall, so we've had enough time for me to know where I'll be going and still have enough time for him to apply. This whole thing can definitely be a headache. At least you can match together for residencies!

 

[HurricaneKatt]

Chronicidal - do you mind me asking what school you both got accepted into? Congrats by the way. 🙂 Thank you all for the input. I have to say that this whole process is that much more nerve-wracking trying to get in together, but it's oh so worth it. 🙂

 

[SEE13]

It is nice to know that someone has accomplished it. How many schools (in common) did you apply to?

We applied to 9 in common, and so far we have 4 interviews in common and 1 acceptance in common.

I know it's stressful, but like you said, it's worth it! Good luck 🙂

 

[Beekachu]

I had a friend and her fiance who naturally got a few interviews to common places but also contacted admissions offices to ask about the potential for one person to get an interview at a school through mentioning that their s/o was invited for one. Obviously with polite, tactful wording.

They didn't mention their relationship in the actual interviews or to leverage an acceptance (as far as I know), but at least having many interviews in common increased the chances and number of places they were both accepted to. I agree with other replies about not mentioning it during interviews. Maybe in a letter of intent after one person is accepted to your mutual top-choice, though.

I don't know how serious the relationship is, but would it be unethical to say you are engaged to make the request more legit? Maybe in some cases..

 

[chronicidal]

I don't know how serious the relationship is, but would it be unethical to say you are engaged to make the request more legit? Maybe in some cases..

I've heard of one couple doing this. I think it's kind of unethical. But not totally so because the importance of engagement is culturally relative.

 

[HurricaneKatt]

I had a friend and her fiance who naturally got a few interviews to common places but also contacted admissions offices to ask about the potential for one person to get an interview at a school through mentioning that their s/o was invited for one. Obviously with polite, tactful wording.

They didn't mention their relationship in the actual interviews or to leverage an acceptance (as far as I know), but at least having many interviews in common increased the chances and number of places they were both accepted to. I agree with other replies about not mentioning it during interviews. Maybe in a letter of intent after one person is accepted to your mutual top-choice, though.

I don't know how serious the relationship is, but would it be unethical to say you are engaged to make the request more legit? Maybe in some cases..

I may do this for one school. They asked for my interview dates but they are running behind and haven't finished processing his application yet. I am considering calling and telling them we want to travel together (it will save us a lot of $ on hotel fees) and ask what can be done...

As for the engagement part, I've considered that. 😛 I don't want to lie though as we're not engaged, but it is a very committed and serious long-term relationship.... maybe an ADCOM will see this thread and become overwhelmed with romance and accept us both on the spot! 😀

 

[Sesom]

I may do this for one school. They asked for my interview dates but they are running behind and haven't finished processing his application yet. I am considering calling and telling them we want to travel together (it will save us a lot of $ on hotel fees) and ask what can be done...

As for the engagement part, I've considered that. 😛 I don't want to lie though as we're not engaged, but it is a very committed and serious long-term relationship.... maybe an ADCOM will see this thread and become overwhelmed with romance and accept us both on the spot! 😀

No, seriously say your engaged! You would be a fool to not at least say engaged. If you find it unethical, then convince yourself that "committed and serious long-term relationship" means pretty much engaged.