I just tried my loupes today for the first time in restorative, so great timing with this thread.
You're right at about every point I think. We were advised to get loupes at end of 1st year or start of 2nd year, so we'd have an idea of what we're looking at beforehand.
There are things to make dentistry possibly less stressful. For example, composite resins have just relatively recently become really useful, because before they didn't know how to make them bond to dentin, and now they do. Highspeed handpieces weren't used a long time ago either. You can do an entire prep by just using the slowspeed... it was possible then, and it's still possible now. Just highspeed's a lot faster that's why everyone uses highspeed.
Loupes give you a higher magnification. What's also important is the ergonomics; a professor told us how after so many years of practice, his cervical vertebrae have actually altered because of bending his neck. Loupes have a limited range that is in focus, so you're forced to keep that distance; if you start bending your neck too much, the view will get blurry. Also, you won't be needing to hunch over your maniken head as if you're making out with it, since you can see everything from a distance (because of the magnification).
So, are they necessary? No; as you said, there's many people who don't use loupes and can do perfect preps. Are they recommended? Yes. They probably slow you down because you can see more issues in your prep, so you'd spend more time finishing your prep probably. You could be worried of getting dependant on the loupes, but that's probably because with the loupes you'd realize you could possibly offer the patient a greater standard of care than without them, so wouldn't want to work without them.
What I would also recommend is the light. Yes your highspeed drill has a light... but only when drilling. What if you're using hand tools like a marginal trimmer, or an explorer to check for flash, for example. Also, for endo, crown preps, and extractions where the root tip breaks off, I'm sure the light would be really handy (those were the examples given to me by a demo who recommended I get the light)
You will probably have a loupes fair at your school, or have sales reps from different companies coming in... try out the loupes.
I got my loupes from Q-Optics, they have really great titanium sport frames (no other company has them like how Q-Optics does), and their quality seems great. Also they have lifetime warranties on a lot of the components. There's a lot of info on this forum on loupes, so check it out!