Are my classmates singling me out? Advice?

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Hey everyone!

I would like some input regarding some conflicts I have with my classmates. I am in a class where there only five of us. Out of privacy, I will not list the institution or the curriculum. However, some things about me:

- I am academically motivated. I study a lot.
- I love to teach and help others. I give many students answers to questions and have no problem explaining things to students.
- I am sensitive. I do take others' criticisms to heart, and sometimes can be over-dramatic as a result. An error I will make sure to fix!

Situation: My classmates always seem to throw me down. I do not comment on others' personal lives, but many times they will comment and say, "Why don't you have a GF? Haven't you ever been on a date?" They also tell me I don't have much of a social life, which makes me feel sad. They can be nice at times, but they bust me with things like that. I work hard to do well in my class. I am top in my class as a result, because I do love science and it's a huge hobby of mine. In clinical, they will comment with things like, "You look so nervous. Stop being so nervous," when I am just there standing and doing nothing, which makes me feel more subconscious and anxious because of how others perceive me. I once missed a vein when putting an IV (first time I did it) and one of them commented saying they would never trust me with an IV (karma got her good, she missed four IV's straight after that). One classmate said I don't know how to talk to patients which isn't true, it said in my eval that I am good with patients and family members.

They also love to say I am sensitive and have no thick skin. I mean, sure, I won't disagree but to hear them out-right say that is almost humiliating especially in front of everyone. It makes me feel like I am inferior in some sort of way.

Sorry. I don't really like drama. Just need a place too vent. I have aced all my exams and they say, "I am book smart but lack social and clinical skills." Everything about me they turn into a negative. Any advice??
 
People only put others down when they are feeling insecure. Guaranteed. If you are at the top, they are jealous. Ask why they're so worried about your dating life next time they bring it up.
 
I had a girl swipe right on me on tinder. Pretend to flirt with me. Then when she saw me laughed at my face. This was senior year of college.

All these things will hurt but forge you into being a sword.
 
You will be able to put up with less BS in medical school. You will be able to detect BS faster. Some people in medical school never faced criticism or were bullied and it can sometimes show.

Matrix207 said:
I agree. I will come stronger out of this. Thank you for this it helps.
Click to expand...
 
Sounds like they aren't perfect but you're also being sensitive. A mixture of them just messing with you in a friendly manner, being a bit of dicks at points, and also trying to make you feel comfortable although not doing a great job at it.
 
FamousLinen said:
Sounds like they aren't perfect but you're also being sensitive. A mixture of them just messing with you in a friendly manner, being a bit of dicks at points, and also trying to make you feel comfortable although not doing a great job at it.
Click to expand...

Part of being an adult is knowing how to talk to people. When you make a friendly joke to someone and they respond poorly, then the socially aware adult makes a note that the person doesn't like to be joked with in that manner and stops. That's what adults do. Continuing to "joke" with someone who is offended by it is what dinguses do.
 
Matrix207 said:
Hey everyone!

I would like some input regarding some conflicts I have with my classmates. I am in a class where there only five of us. Out of privacy, I will not list the institution or the curriculum. However, some things about me:

- I am academically motivated. I study a lot.
- I love to teach and help others. I give many students answers to questions and have no problem explaining things to students.
- I am sensitive. I do take others' criticisms to heart, and sometimes can be over-dramatic as a result. An error I will make sure to fix!

Situation: My classmates always seem to throw me down. I do not comment on others' personal lives, but many times they will comment and say, "Why don't you have a GF? Haven't you ever been on a date?" They also tell me I don't have much of a social life, which makes me feel sad. They can be nice at times, but they bust me with things like that. I work hard to do well in my class. I am top in my class as a result, because I do love science and it's a huge hobby of mine. In clinical, they will comment with things like, "You look so nervous. Stop being so nervous," when I am just there standing and doing nothing, which makes me feel more subconscious and anxious because of how others perceive me. I once missed a vein when putting an IV (first time I did it) and one of them commented saying they would never trust me with an IV (karma got her good, she missed four IV's straight after that). One classmate said I don't know how to talk to patients which isn't true, it said in my eval that I am good with patients and family members.

They also love to say I am sensitive and have no thick skin. I mean, sure, I won't disagree but to hear them out-right say that is almost humiliating especially in front of everyone. It makes me feel like I am inferior in some sort of way.

Sorry. I don't really like drama. Just need a place too vent. I have aced all my exams and they say, "I am book smart but lack social and clinical skills." Everything about me they turn into a negative. Any advice??
Click to expand...
Dear Abby by Abigail Van Buren
 
I feel like you care a lot about your future and that shows. I don't know if you are super braggy, no one likes a know it all. Maybe confront them and ask what their problems are with you, let them know that it bothers you?
 
MisterTO said:
I feel like you care a lot about your future and that shows. I don't know if you are super braggy, no one likes a know it all. Maybe confront them and ask what their problems are with you, let them know that it bothers you?
Click to expand...

I am not super braggy. I help everyone with answers and homework. It seems like they take advantage of me.
 
First of all, I’m gonna echo that these people have major problems of their own if they’re putting you down like this. They’re clearly self-conscious about their own abilities to succeed.

Second—with that in mind—make sure you aren’t feeding into that. Don’t mention your own academic success if you can help it. Offering help is fine, but avoid talking about test scores or how you feel about the content, especially if you’re finding it easy or manageable when they’re not.

Third, it sounds like these people are bullying you. What you’re describing isn’t playful joking. It’s a consistent effort to put you down. In this case, I think it’s important for you to remind yourself that what they’re saying is meant to be hurtful, and it’s not a reflection of your character. It’s a reflection of theirs.

I hope this class is over soon. These people sound super toxic.
 
I used to have this problem in high school. I was just a good target and took it too personally at times.

As I've gotten older (in my late 30s now), my prevailing attitude has changed tremendously. The way I see it you have two choices.

1. Confront them an tell 'em to piss up a rope (generally don't make friends this way)

2. Up your roast game and bury them with shade. Gotta be snappy with hard-hitting comebacks

Within the confines of EMS and fires service (my previous career), the ability to both receive and reciprocate crap-spewing is integral to survival. Also, the folks you can roast best are often going to be your best friends. I always tell people if I'm nice to you, I probably don't like you.
 
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