Are relationships always a distraction?

[Tennis Guy]

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So, I was wondering what you guys think about having relationships while being a pre-med or in med school? I tried to pursue one for a little while, but it became a bit of a distraction unfortunately from my studies (even though I had other things going on in life such as two deaths in the family that probably added to it).

How about you guys though, do you always think being in a relationship will veer you away from your path towards medical school and acquiring great grades? Do you guys always think relationships are a distraction from your goals, and if so when should you even think of pursuing one? How do you manage to balance having a relationship and pursuing medical school? Any advice or comments will be greatly appreciated! 🙂

 

[911 Turbo]

CMon man! Of course relationships are worth it. Balance time.

 

[Ashley1989]

Yes, it's a huge distraction but it's also nice because he understands me and will do anything to help me achieve my goals. I can come home and rant about this that or the other, or cry on his shoulder and he always listens and encourages me. I honestly find that our relationship is only extremely distracting when I haven't clearly communicated to him what I need to do, or what I need him to do (leave me to my studies), because when I'm clear about how important something is he not only stops being a distraction he will help me any way he can. I also find it refreshing that he pushes me to get off my butt every night regardless of how pissy I am and go for a run, and how he encourages me to study earlier in the day so I'm not up until 4am frazzled and tired.

So yes, he's a huge distraction but I'm not a pre med robot and he helps keep me grounded and my life well balanced 🙂

 

[Frazier]

Depends on who you're dating, guy...

If it is a normal girl, then it will be great. You'll find: a best friend + loving support network + hawt sex provider. 😀 She will be a facilitator that greatly improves your quality of life.

If it is a typical girl, then it will be hell. She will base her life off of gossip girl and real housewives -- seeking "drama", attention, and weiners wherever she goes. She will be a distraction from all things good in life.

It's all about how you pick'em. If you find one from the former group, ante up and make it official. 👍

 

[BigBear123]

I definitely think relationships are worth it. Seriously, when do you think you are going to be LESS busy? When you're a resident? When you're a practicing physician? If you don't think you can balance medicine with a personal life, then it probably isn't for you. Also, even if you have an SO, it doesn't mean you have to spend every second together. Hopefully, they are understanding and/or have careers of their own to worry about. This past semester was particularly busy for me because I had my thesis, my job, and schoolwork, but even so I'd still have time to see my boyfriend on the weekends (and he was equally busy).

 

[Claudin]

Wow, I'm not sure what to say. On the one hand, I'm glad that you have such a supportive bf, but on the other... I feel kinda sorry for him.

 

[MedPR]

Depends on who you're dating, guy...

If it is a normal girl, then it will be great. You'll find: a best friend + loving support network + hawt sex provider. 😀 She will be a facilitator that greatly improves your quality of life.

If it is a typical girl, then it will be hell. She will base her life off of gossip girl and real housewives -- seeking "drama", attention, and weiners wherever she goes. She will be a distraction from all things good in life.

It's all about how you pick'em. If you find one from the former group, ante up and make it official. 👍

Love the distinction between "normal" and "typical" girl.

All relationships are a distraction because they are a time sink. Some will be worthwhile, others won't.

 

[FattySlug]

I really think 1 or 2 fwbs is the way to go if you are in medical school. They don't take up much of your time, don't put pressure on you and can keep you company. Of course they are not as reliable as a real gf but that's a whole lot better than having to deal with all those emotional burdens of a real relationship.

 

[Ashley1989]

I really think 1 or 2 fwbs is the way to go if you are in medical school. They don't take up much of your time, don't put pressure on you and can keep you company. Of course they are not as reliable as a real gf but that's a whole lot better than having to deal with all those emotional burdens of a real relationship.

I've found that anything down the fwbs alley is just asking for drama and can eventually turn into a huge emotional burden. You really have to pick the other person wisely because some people can go off their rockers when they start doing that because they cant clearly separate the physical and emotional aspects of it.

 

[sotto voce]

Depends on who you're dating, guy...

If it is a normal girl, then it will be great. You'll find: a best friend + loving support network + hawt sex provider. 😀 She will be a facilitator that greatly improves your quality of life.

If it is a typical girl, then it will be hell. She will base her life off of gossip girl and real housewives -- seeking "drama", attention, and weiners wherever she goes. She will be a distraction from all things good in life.

It's all about how you pick'em. If you find one from the former group, ante up and make it official. 👍

Abnormal = typical? How exactly does that work?

My advice is: All women are crazy, the trick is to find one somewhat less crazy.

And this rule of thumb always applies: Attractive, Sane, Single (choose two)

 

[sunflower18]

It's important that your SO understands your goals and supports them. I'm still pre-med, but my boyfriend knows that I need to study hard and be involved with ECs so that I have a shot at pursuing my dream of practicing medicine. He totally understands when I'm busy all day with volunteering / working or in the library for hours, and is willing to spend a lot of time just studying in the same room as me. We do go on dates, see movies, eat dinner, etc. But he knows that both he and my future mean a lot to me, and is totally on board with me balancing that.

It also really really really helps that he is busy too. He does sports, has jobs, and takes schoolwork very seriously. So most of the time when I'm busy, he is too. It would be very sad for him if he had tons of free time while I constantly scurried around doing stuff, I think. But, as it is, we are both hard workers and surrounded with a flurry of activity. It is a good method to keep us both from feeling lonely, possessive, or unloved.

TL;DR -- I find it very helpful to have a supportive boyfriend, and I think it's important that he keeps about as busy as me. I don't know what I'd do without him, so for me, this whole relationship thing is a success 👍

 

[lobo.solo]

Depends on who you're dating, guy...

If it is a normal girl, then it will be great. You'll find: a best friend + loving support network + hawt sex provider. 😀 She will be a facilitator that greatly improves your quality of life.

If it is a typical girl, then it will be hell. She will base her life off of gossip girl and real housewives -- seeking "drama", attention, and weiners wherever she goes. She will be a distraction from all things good in life.

It's all about how you pick'em. If you find one from the former group, ante up and make it official. 👍

This^. Is great to have someone in your life. Avoid the typical girl, and learn how to balance everything in life. In the future, as a working physician you will have a wife, kids, friends, etc.

 

[MedPR]

Still laughing at "seeking weiners wherever she goes"

 

[Frazier]

Abnormal = typical? How exactly does that work?

What I said makes sense... get out there and meet enough females and it'll click.

If it helps, use the psychology definition of "normal" and the everyday standard definition of "typical". That said, try not to get too hung up on definitions when it is the moral of the story that matters. 😉

 

[Thego2guy]

As any type of student, undergraduate or graduate, your life requires balance. There is simply no way that you can be involved in one subject matter literally 24/7. Distractions are not only necessary, but they are unavoidable.

A healthy relationship will provide the best conglomerate of the distractions. You will have a friend to talk to, get advice from, to sympathize with, to have sex with, to go out with, to maybe even work out with. A healthy relationship is not immune to small pitfalls, compromises, and disagreements, but by definition of a healthy and well balanced relationship, those negatives are kept to a minimum, and thus are a good price to pay for all of the benefits.

"Without a relationship" distractions: Masturbation, watch movies alone at home, walk the dog alone, go out to eat alone/with same sex friend, cuddle with your pillow, shower alone, sleep alone, cook alone. Self foot massage.

"With a relationship" distractions: Sex with a partner. Massage from a partner. Talk with your best friend (I assume your SO is your best friend), walk the dog together, cuddle together, watch a movie on a rainy day together, shower together (and conduct some healthy coitus), cook together, eat together, hold hands together, jog together, etc... while also having the ability to enjoy the occasional company of your guy/girl friends.

Humans yearn to have intimate human contact. We want to build relationships and make them blossom. If you find the perfect guy/girl for yourself, you can definitely make it work and it will be worth your while. After all, when are you going to go out and settle down? Residency? Fellowship? 5 years into your career? 10? There is no harm starting now. Just be optimistic, resilient, patient, and understanding.

 

[Valadi]

And this rule of thumb always applies: Attractive, Sane, Single (choose two)

Classic.

 

[SpecterGT260]

Depends on who you're dating, guy...

If it is a normal girl, then it will be great. You'll find: a best friend + loving support network + hawt sex provider. 😀 She will be a facilitator that greatly improves your quality of life.

If it is a typical girl, then it will be hell. She will base her life off of gossip girl and real housewives -- seeking "drama", attention, and weiners wherever she goes. She will be a distraction from all things good in life.

It's all about how you pick'em. If you find one from the former group, ante up and make it official. 👍

I dont often see legit wisdom on pre allo.... well done sir 👍

 

[xXIDaShizIXx]

Depends on who you're dating, guy...

If it is a normal girl, then it will be great. You'll find: a best friend + loving support network + hawt sex provider. 😀 She will be a facilitator that greatly improves your quality of life.

If it is a typical girl, then it will be hell. She will base her life off of gossip girl and real housewives -- seeking "drama", attention, and weiners wherever she goes. She will be a distraction from all things good in life.

It's all about how you pick'em. If you find one from the former group, ante up and make it official. 👍

Sad, but true lol. 😀 I have one of the most supportive fiancees around. I met her my first semester of college. She only asks for one day of the week for just "us" time. She realizes that we both have to work hard to have a successful future. I think its nice waking up each day to someone who supports you in everything you do, and to have someone you can share all of your experiences with.🙂

 

[HealthHare]

Abnormal = typical? How exactly does that work?

My advice is: All women are crazy, the trick is to find one somewhat less crazy.

And this rule of thumb always applies: Attractive, Sane, Single (choose two)

Real Talk.

 

[theseeker4]

So, I was wondering what you guys think about having relationships while being a pre-med or in med school? I tried to pursue one for a little while, but it became a bit of a distraction unfortunately from my studies (even though I had other things going on in life such as two deaths in the family that probably added to it).

How about you guys though, do you always think being in a relationship will veer you away from your path towards medical school and acquiring great grades? Do you guys always think relationships are a distraction from your goals, and if so when should you even think of pursuing one? How do you manage to balance having a relationship and pursuing medical school? Any advice or comments will be greatly appreciated! 🙂

A relationship is always a distraction. There is no way around that, since any time you spend on the relationship is time you could spend doing something else. Whether the time you will spend on the relationship is worth the time taken from other things depends on you, the person you are involved with, your goals, etc. It is something that varies from relationship to relationship and can only be answered for each potential partner by yourself.

 

[Dr.TurkandJD]

Depends on who you're dating, guy...

If it is a normal girl, then it will be great. You'll find: a best friend + loving support network + hawt sex provider. 😀 She will be a facilitator that greatly improves your quality of life.

If it is a typical girl, then it will be hell. She will base her life off of gossip girl and real housewives -- seeking "drama", attention, and weiners wherever she goes. She will be a distraction from all things good in life.

It's all about how you pick'em. If you find one from the former group, ante up and make it official. 👍

 

[ridethecliche]

If your relationship is a distraction, you're either:

-Terrible at balancing time
-A workaholic
-Not with the right person.

Or all the above.

 

[ridethecliche]

Abnormal = typical? How exactly does that work?

My advice is: All women are crazy, the trick is to find one somewhat less crazy.

And this rule of thumb always applies: Attractive, Sane, Single (choose two)

Misogyny at work.

Gaslight much?

 

[QuizzicalApe]

To be successful, you must burn all joy and humanity from your heart so that you can focus on your studies as a cold, dispassionate husk, never sleeping and always waiting for a chance to strike.

 

[Verum]

To be successful, you must burn all joy and humanity from your heart so that you can focus on your studies as a cold, dispassionate husk, never sleeping and always waiting for a chance to strike.

You're my kind of med student 😛

 

[ligand]

-

 

[NotHereForMe]

Well, I'm pretty sure my husband would say having a relationship while trying to get into med school is a good thing. He'd better, considering how much of my own time I spend helping him organize his applications, encouraging him, sharing household duties, and so on.

That said, all relationships are work. All relationships require quality time to stay alive. And there is never a perfect time of life to fit one in. You have to work on balancing things. It's just a life skill that anyone who doesn't want to be alone, needs to develop.

 

[solitarius]

Yes, it's a huge distraction but it's also nice because he understands me and will do anything to help me achieve my goals.

If it is a typical girl, then it will be hell. She will base her life off of gossip girl and real housewives -- seeking "drama", attention, and weiners wherever she goes. She will be a distraction from all things good in life.

Are you a girl or a guy? If you're a girl, you probably got him p-whipped. If you're a guy, she will most likely drain you.

 

[Ashley1989]

Are you a girl or a guy? If you're a girl, you probably got him p-whipped. If you're a guy, she will most likely drain you.

I don't have him whipped because I will do anything to help him accomplish his dreams as well. I also bring him home a six pack of smith wicks just because, give him back rubs when he's tired, and make him his favorite dinner (which takes forever) just because. So, yeah, that was an inaccurate assumption.

This thread was asking from my perspective. I'm not going to speak for him. Sooooo.... Yeah... Leave my man out of it thank you!!

 

[solitarius]

This thread was asking from my perspective. I'm not going to speak for him. Sooooo.... Yeah... Leave my man out of it thank you!!

Fine, but I still maintain my original distinction without you.

 

[Ashley1989]

Fine, but I still maintain my original distinction without you.

Haha that's fine, make your point but leave me out because it doesn't apply here! 🙂

 

[gasknight]

Yes, OP... having other people in your life can only lead to distractions. Depart from them as quickly as you can. 🙄

 

[JESSFALLING]

OP, relationships are like free-body diagrams....there are usually multiple opposing forces to consider. For example, a relationship can be a distraction, but it can also be a valuable asset which may help you get through a challenging experience (i.e. medical school).

 

[Drrrrrr. Celty]

I think half of you people are going to be virgins till you're 30. Anyway, a relationship isn't really a time waster in my opinion, especially if you're living together and you understand each other's schedules and study requirements. I try to avoid being a bother when he's got a test or project and he is likewise to me. Furthermore I just allot time I would have spent on SDN or an MMORPG to spending time with him, so it's not like I'm achieving a net loss of time.

Anyway, if anything having a relationship is healthy and increases your ability to concentrate and do well in school.

If you're finding a relationship like a time waster then you probably should end it and find someone who is more fitting to your needs and time allotment.

 

[biomaj]

I was with my fiance for quite awhile before I decided to go into pre-med so we had already been very close. Before I started we moved in together, and I haven't noticed any problem at all. He plays his xbox and I study at my computer desk all night. You just have to have someone who is understanding of how busy you are, and can entertain themselves.

 

[Tennis Guy]

Yea, I understand... all of your posts make a lot of sense, so thank you all for the advice!!! It seems that I will just have to make sure the relationship is worth my time, not adversely affecting my studies, and is positive in all aspects. I'm sure that it won't be easy to come by, but it well definitely be rewarding and worthwhile in the long run... 🙂