Arrrrghhhhh

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Sofee

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Just got rejected by my top choice school (my parents opened my mail and notified me that there was some 'bad news' when I got home from work). No condolences, no 'chin up'...all I get is a scowl and a 'suck it up.'

And these people are supposed to be my support system!!!! +pissed+
 
a scowl? maybe they're just being moody. sometimes people are like that. we have to forgive them though cause we've probably done it to others. sorry to hear about the rejection. but rejections aren't always bad things. i know lots of people on this forum will want to kick me for saying that, but getting what we want doesn't always turn out well.
 
Sofee, I have found that NOBODY... not even the best-intentioned friend or family member comes close to understanding any of this nearly as well as a fellow pre-med.

Nobody really knows the joys and the struggles...

nobody understands why we're excited to get one more interview even though we've already decided where to go...

nobody understands why it's so hard to send letters declining acceptances...

nobody understands why it hurts to be put on a waitlist even though you don't really want to go to the school that puts you on it...

I guess that's why SDN has become so important to me... only here do I find people who care about even the smallest things... like--should I wear my hair up or down for the interview? If the adcom member said "I'm sure you'll do well..." did he mean I'm in?? Does it matter if I'm the last interviewee of the day??

Etc. etc.

We feel for you... just keep the faith. And add a few SDNers to your support system.
 
MsEvolution said:
Sofee, I have found that NOBODY... not even the best-intentioned friend or family member comes close to understanding any of this nearly as well as a fellow pre-med.

Nobody really knows the joys and the struggles...

nobody understands why we're excited to get one more interview even though we've already decided where to go...

nobody understands why it's so hard to send letters declining acceptances...

nobody understands why it hurts to be put on a waitlist even though you don't really want to go to the school that puts you on it...

I guess that's why SDN has become so important to me... only here do I find people who care about even the smallest things... like--should I wear my hair up or down for the interview? If the adcom member said "I'm sure you'll do well..." did he mean I'm in?? Does it matter if I'm the last interviewee of the day??

Etc. etc.

We feel for you... just keep the faith. And add a few SDNers to your support system.
Click to expand...

::sniffle sniffle:: That was...beautiful.
 
Sofee said:
Just got rejected by my top choice school (my parents opened my mail and notified me that there was some 'bad news' when I got home from work). No condolences, no 'chin up'...all I get is a scowl and a 'suck it up.'

And these people are supposed to be my support system!!!! +pissed+
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I'm so sorry to hear that. 🙁 While it is not the end of the world, and I'm sure you'll find another school to love, you have the right to be angry and sad for awhile. get it out of your system, then find another school to love. best of luck. :luck:
 
Sofee said:
Just got rejected by my top choice school (my parents opened my mail and notified me that there was some 'bad news' when I got home from work). No condolences, no 'chin up'...all I get is a scowl and a 'suck it up.'

And these people are supposed to be my support system!!!! +pissed+
Click to expand...

Your parents sound a lot like mine. I think they try to downplay the importance so that we don't feel like we let them down as much and to ultimately realize that this one outcome is not the end of everything. After I get over the let down I usually end up more angry that my mail was opened by someone else.
 
MsEvolution said:
Sofee, I have found that NOBODY... not even the best-intentioned friend or family member comes close to understanding any of this nearly as well as a fellow pre-med.
Click to expand...

Amen to that. Even though my dad works with M.Ds all day and has some working knowledge of the application process, he still doesn't seem to understand how cutthroat and stiff the competition is for an acceptance. However, he means well when he tries to keep me pointed toward a positive light and for that I'm thankful.
 
Don't worry, sofee. Just when you are hoping that they'll be the soft, squishy types, they turn around and give it to you straight! Just when you're least expecting it, your mom will come out with something sweet and supportive and you'll know its fine. I had something similar happen when I was rejected from a school. She says "well, you can't get into all of them" and I was so disappointed.

Then, out of the blue, my mom says to me "You know, whether you get into medical school or not, I still love you. And if you end up heartbroken, I'll be there to patch you up. I love you"

::sigh:: Just when you least expect it...chin up, Sofee.
 
Sofee said:
Just got rejected by my top choice school (my parents opened my mail and notified me that there was some 'bad news' when I got home from work). No condolences, no 'chin up'...all I get is a scowl and a 'suck it up.'

And these people are supposed to be my support system!!!! +pissed+
Click to expand...

Been there so I know how you feel. 🙁
 
Sofee said:
Just got rejected by my top choice school (my parents opened my mail and notified me that there was some 'bad news' when I got home from work). No condolences, no 'chin up'...all I get is a scowl and a 'suck it up.'

And these people are supposed to be my support system!!!! +pissed+
Click to expand...

I'm sorry to hear about your rejection. Like MsEvolution so eloquently put it people just don't have a clue, that is why he SDN family is so important. Forgive your parents and inform them that you will be opening you own mail from now on.

Knowing that they shouldn't open my mai,l my parents would call me at work you tell me that you received a letter for X, Y, and Z school, rendering my useless for the rest of the day, VERY annoying. Parents should not be opening mail (unless you request them to do so) and they should not be calling you at work, school or anywhere to tell you of the mail you have!

Your acceptance to a school that you will love is on the way 😀
 
i can empathize, sofee - my dad is my own personal Ray of Shining Hope -

today, for instance, I got an interview invite for mid-Jan, I was excited for another interview, I told my dad, he said "oooo, that's late." late??? THEN he said I need to "start working harder on your interviewing skills" because i'm "0 for 4" - meaning, i've had 4 interviews, with one rejection and three "hold"s. hold=failure??? only with my dad.... 😡
 
Why do your parents even open your mail? Thats ****ed up and possibly illegal.

I feel sorry for all you ppl that have parents that are d!cks...shows how f#cked up this world really is. If my parents did that (which they don't), I would seriously say f#ck it and not even try, I can't stand ppl breathing down my neck...

anyways..good luck, don't let your parents bring you down (even the slightest), just do what you have to do
 
MIKE G said:
Why do your parents even open your mail? Thats ****ed up and possibly illegal.

I feel sorry for all you ppl that have parents that are d!cks...shows how f#cked up this world really is. If my parents did that (which they don't), I would seriously say f#ck it and not even try, I can't stand ppl breathing down my neck...

You sound pretty angry there. You might want to rethink that all parents that open the mail are dicks. :

For some of us, our parents opening the mail is what we requested. Alot of us are still in school. I used my permanent address on my AMCAS-my state school accepts X number of students from each congressional district and I go to school in one of the larger districts, but my permanent address is in a
smaller one. I also did not want my nosey roommate to know if I got in before I did (thick envelope-in, thin-reject or wl). Therefore, I asked my parents to open them rather and take several more days to put them in another envelope and forward them to me. It worked out great for me. When it was good news they were happy with me and if it was bad news they would have been sympathic.
Click to expand...
 
MIKE G said:
Why do your parents even open your mail? Thats ****ed up and possibly illegal.

I feel sorry for all you ppl that have parents that are d!cks...shows how f#cked up this world really is. If my parents did that (which they don't), I would seriously say f#ck it and not even try, I can't stand ppl breathing down my neck...

anyways..good luck, don't let your parents bring you down (even the slightest), just do what you have to do
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dude chill out...did u ever think that your parents care for you?? i mean they have to be just as anxious as you are...i know my mom was more anxious than me when i waited for my acceptance into NJMS....they do this because they care....every parent want to see their child happy, so what they opened your mail...if u had opened it yourself the letter would not have changed rite?? and yes sometimes parents resposes are a bit whack...but they are goin through a hard time as well......do u think they feel good when u get rejected from a school??? its just their crazy way of handling these rejections.....
 
sofee,

im sorry to hear that u got rejected from ur Number 1 school.....not to worry..U WILL GET INTO A SCHOOL.....dont ever give up hope🙂 cheer up...they lost a good person...thats their problem
 
MsEvolution said:
Sofee, I have found that NOBODY... not even the best-intentioned friend or family member comes close to understanding any of this nearly as well as a fellow pre-med.

Nobody really knows the joys and the struggles...

nobody understands why we're excited to get one more interview even though we've already decided where to go...

nobody understands why it's so hard to send letters declining acceptances...

nobody understands why it hurts to be put on a waitlist even though you don't really want to go to the school that puts you on it...

I guess that's why SDN has become so important to me... only here do I find people who care about even the smallest things... like--should I wear my hair up or down for the interview? If the adcom member said "I'm sure you'll do well..." did he mean I'm in?? Does it matter if I'm the last interviewee of the day??

Etc. etc.

We feel for you... just keep the faith. And add a few SDNers to your support system.
Click to expand...

brilliant...sofee, dont worry. everything happens for a reason 🙂
 
Medikit said:
I got rejected from the school I was planning to attend ever since Jr. High over the Thanksgiving Break 🙁
Click to expand...

Sorry Medikit, what school as thatZ?
 
Psycho Doctor said:
Sorry Medikit, what school as thatZ?
Click to expand...
probabaly the same one that I had been preparing myself for when I began this crazy process, but gave me the boot first off...
 
Thanks for the encouragement, everyone! And well put, MsEvolution. I am ticked off at my folks for opening my mail, but I know it's because they're just as anxious as I am. I had a talk with them and they've promised to stop. My poor mom thought it'd be 'good luck' if she opened it. Now that the initial wave of an emotional response has passed, I am able to think a bit more clearly. I know they're disappointed for me and that was their way of dealing with it. All's well that ends well, I suppose. Good luck to everyone who's still waiting for their first acceptance (like me!) and congrats and good luck to those of you who are hoping for more. Med school '05 or bust.
 
Just another opinion on the parental response:

When you saw them they had already opened the mail, reacted to it, and discussed it between themselves. They may have been quite emotional about it initally as well - or they could have been afraid to talk much about it hoping to avoid making it worse for you because they knew how much it meant to you.

Just another take - Parents aren't perfect either, and they did react much before you did. They may have not even considered that they had finished working through their response and only showed you that "flat response"

Good luck
 
MsEvolution said:
Sofee, I have found that NOBODY... not even the best-intentioned friend or family member comes close to understanding any of this nearly as well as a fellow pre-med.

Nobody really knows the joys and the struggles...

nobody understands why we're excited to get one more interview even though we've already decided where to go...

nobody understands why it's so hard to send letters declining acceptances...

nobody understands why it hurts to be put on a waitlist even though you don't really want to go to the school that puts you on it...

I guess that's why SDN has become so important to me... only here do I find people who care about even the smallest things... like--should I wear my hair up or down for the interview? If the adcom member said "I'm sure you'll do well..." did he mean I'm in?? Does it matter if I'm the last interviewee of the day??

Etc. etc.

We feel for you... just keep the faith. And add a few SDNers to your support system.
Click to expand...

i totally understand what ur saying. it seems like my friends cant accept that im not the old hardcore party and drinker i was in high school and my first year in college. im always getting attitude from my friends when i turn down a party on friday nite or sat to study for an ochem exam. it makes me mad that they dont understand .
 
UCDavisdude said:
i totally understand what ur saying. it seems like my friends cant accept that im not the old hardcore party and drinker i was in high school and my first year in college. im always getting attitude from my friends when i turn down a party on friday nite or sat to study for an ochem exam. it makes me mad that they dont understand .
Click to expand...

Understand what? That you care more about an Ochem exam than about them? They quite well understand and that doesn't make them very happy.
You can't blame it on them since you were the one who changed - for better or for worse.
 
Medikit said:
I got rejected from the school I was planning to attend ever since Jr. High over the Thanksgiving Break 🙁
Click to expand...

That's rough. Very sorry to hear it. Hopefully getting in somewhere will ease the sting of that rejection.
 
Hey OP, why are your parents opening your mail? Especially med school mail? Did you give them permission to do so? If not, I would be upset with them.
 
Hey RM,

I didn't give my parents permission to open my mail, and that was part of the reason why I was upset (but I was mostly upset about getting rejected). It wasn't the first time they'd done it, nor was it the first time I expressed my frustration over them doing it. I understand why they opened my letters, but I still don't agree with them that they should.

In the end, I think it comes down to the fact that they're just as anxious as I am about all this. And like I said in my previous post, my poor mom thought it'd be good luck if she opened the letter. Kinda silly, but I know they're hearts are in the right place. I guess I was (vocally) upset enough that day that I've convinced them to stop--I now find my sealed mail waiting on my desk when I get home from work 🙂
 
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