Assault as personal challenge for secondary inappropriate?

[zamzee]

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Hi All,

I've read the old threads on this topic, but none of them have helped me come any closer to a decision, so I'm asking again.

I was sexually assaulted in my junior year of college, and it changed a LOT of things about me. Every time I see a personal challenge secondary question or even a "is there anything you would like us to know about you?" question I instantly think of my assault and what I went through to feel okay about myself again. Since my assault (about a year and a half ago), I've become very outspoken about the subject, so I'm not uncomfortable talking about it, and am now a rape crisis advocate. This is an issue that I can write well on and that I can clearly demonstrate how I improved as a person. It's a huge part of my life and I feel like my app will be incomplete if I don't write about it.

However, I do have concerns about writing on this topic. I'm concerned that adcoms will question my mental health because of the assault, or just think it's an inappropriate thing to talk about in a school application. What do you think?

 

[trojanman217]

I don't think adcoms will question your mental health, I think they will be more sensitive about a subject like this. If you can show how it changed you and how this change will make you a good physician than I say go for it. Just make sure you are comfortable talking about it

 

[MermaidMD]

Hi All,

I've read the old threads on this topic, but none of them have helped me come any closer to a decision, so I'm asking again.

I was sexually assaulted in my junior year of college, and it changed a LOT of things about me. Every time I see a personal challenge secondary question or even a "is there anything you would like us to know about you?" question I instantly think of my assault and what I went through to feel okay about myself again. Since my assault (about a year and a half ago), I've become very outspoken about the subject, so I'm not uncomfortable talking about it, and am now a rape crisis advocate. This is an issue that I can write well on and that I can clearly demonstrate how I improved as a person. It's a huge part of my life and I feel like my app will be incomplete if I don't write about it.

However, I do have concerns about writing on this topic. I'm concerned that adcoms will question my mental health because of the assault, or just think it's an inappropriate thing to talk about in a school application. What do you think?

I second that you need to be extremely comfortable discussing your experience and its effects on you before you address the issue. That said, I sort of feel like any adcom that would deem that an "inappropriate" hardship is probably not one at a school you'd want to attend!

 

[FloridaMedicine]

I agree with the posters above but for what its worth, im sorry that happened to you. Good luck to you

 

[SexyDoctor]

You might be comfortable talking about it, but you could make the adcoms uncomfortable listening in. Be careful...

 

[brandxnew]

You might be comfortable talking about it, but you could make the adcoms uncomfortable listening in. Be careful...

👍 Tread lightly.

 

[music2doc]

OP, I think if it is something that has had such a profound impact on who you are and you are able to clearly and somewhat objectively talk about it (that is, you're not going to be negatively effected by it when you express yourself), you should mention it. It does take a certain degree of sensitivity, however. When something like this happens to us, we have two choices: be scarred or grow from it. It seems you have taken the latter, which is the more positive route. Being as you appear to have grown and now stand as a barrier to this happening again, I think you should stand tall in that. Further, your ability to empathize with other women (or even men) who have gone through this experience will make you effective with a significant number of patients. When I have treated women who have gone through sexual assault or abuse, it has always amazed me how a woman who has gone through a similar situation can reach her in ways I will never be able to.


I do agree, though, with the cautions to tread lightly. This is especially true if you are still in the middle of dealing with all of this. If you still hold bitterness and resentment, you might not yet be ready. I am not saying you should empathize with your attacker (that would be ridiculous and probably unhealthy), but if you find you are unable to trust anyone who looks remotely like your attacker, you might still have some work to do. In the latter case, I'd advise you to be very careful as you might inadvertently come off very differently from your intended manner.

 

[BattleDoc]

I don't think adcoms will question your mental health, I think they will be more sensitive about a subject like this. If you can show how it changed you and how this change will make you a good physician than I say go for it. Just make sure you are comfortable talking about it

I agree with this. However, you should tread VERY lightly. Don't victimize yourself when discussing it. Don't focus on the event itself, this isn't The Lovely Bones. Rather, discuss how it shaped you as a person, how certain people were there for you. How you recovered and regained control and became stronger is much more important.

Mi desculpa for what happened to you. I wish you the best!

 

[ScholarStud]

I think you should disclose it on your app. But just a piece of advice: Just because someone should be understanding of your experience, doesn't mean they will be. Whoever views your app is a person with his or her own individual experiences and biases, which may or may not work in your favor.

 

[zamzee]

Thanks everyone for your advice and warm wishes! I'm happy to say that I'm very proud of the way that I handled the situation and though it was a real struggle, I've grown a lot from it.

The only sentence in my personal challenge statement that talks about the actual situation is the first line, which basically says, "In *month* of *year*, I was sexually assaulted." The rest of it is about how I recovered. I'll try my best to be tactful about it.

 

[ponyo]

I think you should disclose it on your app. But just a piece of advice: Just because someone should be understanding of your experience, doesn't mean they will be. Whoever views your app is a person with his or her own individual experiences and biases, which may or may not work in your favor.

This is really unfortunately true. There are a lot of people who will judge rape victims based on the idea that the victim may have dressed provocatively, acted in a suggestive way, etc., of which I'm sure you're aware if you have been working with other people who were sexually assaulted.

I was discussing this article with male friends last year, and nearly all of them (I asked maybe 15-20 guys of diverse backgrounds and ages) said that they thought it was a fair ruling and that they would estimate between 70-90% rape cases were either grossly exaggerated by the plaintiff or the woman's fault. Not one of those guys gave me an estimate under 60%. I know this is anecdotal, but these were undergrads, grads, meds and postdocs from elite, liberal, Northeastern schools, so if anything I would expect them to be less judgmental than older, more conservative people.

Having said that, only you can decide whether this is something that is integral to who you are. If it is, then I think you would be doing yourself an injustice not to include it.

 

[Avoidthetiger]

If you really wish to talk about it (which you should - if you can), I would send a sample essay to LizzyM asking her to look it over for you -- hopefully she won't mind and has the time. She has expressed in the past that topics such as domestic violence, rape, ect can be controversial and viewed wrong by ADCOMs and should be avoided as a topic. You want it to be a challenging situation.... but you want it to be something... different. maybe more lighthearted perhaps? But that should not stop you from writing this essay, as every person's situation/experiences is different. Just really be cautious about wording and make sure you get people to read it and provide you with objective feedback.

 

[Asyouwereatrio]

Hi All,

I've read the old threads on this topic, but none of them have helped me come any closer to a decision, so I'm asking again.

I was sexually assaulted in my junior year of college, and it changed a LOT of things about me. Every time I see a personal challenge secondary question or even a "is there anything you would like us to know about you?" question I instantly think of my assault and what I went through to feel okay about myself again. Since my assault (about a year and a half ago), I've become very outspoken about the subject, so I'm not uncomfortable talking about it, and am now a rape crisis advocate. This is an issue that I can write well on and that I can clearly demonstrate how I improved as a person. It's a huge part of my life and I feel like my app will be incomplete if I don't write about it.

However, I do have concerns about writing on this topic. I'm concerned that adcoms will question my mental health because of the assault, or just think it's an inappropriate thing to talk about in a school application. What do you think?

I'm sorry to hear that it happened to you, but am glad that you are overcoming the challenge and becoming an advocate for this issue! That being said, I think that you can definitely write about it, if and only if, you don't present yourself as a "victim", and you focus heavily on how you grew from the experience. Pretty much, in one paragraph (or however long it is), spend a few brief sentences stating what happened, and then the overall majority of the paper explaining what you did to overcome it, how you grew from it, and how it will affect your future as a physician.

 

[45408]

This is really unfortunately true. There are a lot of people who will judge rape victims based on the idea that the victim may have dressed provocatively, acted in a suggestive way, etc., of which I'm sure you're aware if you have been working with other people who were sexually assaulted.

I was discussing this article with male friends last year, and nearly all of them (I asked maybe 15-20 guys of diverse backgrounds and ages) said that they thought it was a fair ruling and that they would estimate between 70-90% rape cases were either grossly exaggerated by the plaintiff or the woman's fault. Not one of those guys gave me an estimate under 60%. I know this is anecdotal, but these were undergrads, grads, meds and postdocs from elite, liberal, Northeastern schools, so if anything I would expect them to be less judgmental than older, more conservative people.

Having said that, only you can decide whether this is something that is integral to who you are. If it is, then I think you would be doing yourself an injustice not to include it.

Try sitting through one of those college sexual assault awareness classes as a man. You're basically guilty until convicted. See the Duke lacrosse team as Exhibit A.

If you really wish to talk about it (which you should - if you can), I would send a sample essay to LizzyM asking her to look it over for you -- hopefully she won't mind and has the time.

I wouldn't send her anything unless she volunteers that she's interested in that. People send me personal statements and stuff all the time. I haven't volunteered to read that stuff in the better part of a decade, and I'm not going to resume it now.


For the OP, I wouldn't mention it. I can't think of any way that it would benefit your application, and I can think of a lot of ways that it could detract from the rest of your application. My immediate question would be "Why would someone mention something like this?" and I'm having a hard time thinking of very many good answers. I've read tons of personal statements, AMCAS forms, and done med school interviews. I wouldn't recommend talking about it, but that's just me.

 

[n3xa]

Hi All,

I've read the old threads on this topic, but none of them have helped me come any closer to a decision, so I'm asking again.

I was sexually assaulted in my junior year of college, and it changed a LOT of things about me. Every time I see a personal challenge secondary question or even a "is there anything you would like us to know about you?" question I instantly think of my assault and what I went through to feel okay about myself again. Since my assault (about a year and a half ago), I've become very outspoken about the subject, so I'm not uncomfortable talking about it, and am now a rape crisis advocate. This is an issue that I can write well on and that I can clearly demonstrate how I improved as a person. It's a huge part of my life and I feel like my app will be incomplete if I don't write about it.

However, I do have concerns about writing on this topic. I'm concerned that adcoms will question my mental health because of the assault, or just think it's an inappropriate thing to talk about in a school application. What do you think?

How about just talking about your work as a rape crisis advocate and why this is meaningful to you minus the personal experience?

 

[LizzyM]

This can be done badly or done well. I've seen the essay and it was done very well, IMHO.

I liked that the OP used the term assault without a modifier which put the emphasis on violence and not on sex.

 

[ponyo]

For the OP, I wouldn't mention it. I can't think of any way that it would benefit your application, and I can think of a lot of ways that it could detract from the rest of your application. My immediate question would be "Why would someone mention something like this?" and I'm having a hard time thinking of very many good answers. I've read tons of personal statements, AMCAS forms, and done med school interviews. I wouldn't recommend talking about it, but that's just me.

I agree that she should be cautious about mentioning, precisely because people have this reaction.

Having said that, I disagree that such a reaction is warranted. When something like this happens it's not like you can just pick up and move on. It is in some ways very similar to losing a loved one, in that you feel like a fundamental part of you has just been ripped away and nothing will ever be the same again. And then somehow you have to force yourself to rediscover the world and the good things that exist within it. It takes an enormous amount of effort and I think the fact that the OP has had the strength to not only recover but reach out and help others shows something incredibly admirable about the person she is.

Especially in light of the fact that most pre-meds are crying over C's in ochem...

This can be done badly or done well. I've seen the essay and it was done very well, IMHO.

I liked that the OP used the term assault without a modifier which put the emphasis on violence and not on sex.

👍

 

[arfc6]

I just want to say that if I were the one looking over your file I would remember you as the woman who was assaulted first, and I would remember you for your qualifacations second. I can't say that this is the thing I would wish to be remembered for. Also, I do think that while an adcom wouldn't look at your assault and think something like "she deserved it" as has been suggested elsewhere in this thread, it is an inherently uncomfortable subject for men. Even men who don't blame victims.

 

[babypp2]

This can be done badly or done well. I've seen the essay and it was done very well, IMHO.

 

[hatteapear]

Hmmm I've been considering this a bit too, I've been trying to answer my apps really honestly, and sometimes I feel like this is the honest answer to questions. But I just don't know, it seems really hard to do without sounding like you're playing the victim. Regardless, I was thinking about writing for this moral dilemma question about deciding whether to bring the man to court or not, because honestly that is the most significant moral dilemma of my life, but hmmm its a tough cookie. I'd say if you're willing to devote a lot of time and introspection to it, then go ahead, but it needs to be stellar.

But anyhow, good for you for working through it. It's getting better all the time.

 

[45408]

Having said that, I disagree that such a reaction is warranted. When something like this happens it's not like you can just pick up and move on. It is in some ways very similar to losing a loved one, in that you feel like a fundamental part of you has just been ripped away and nothing will ever be the same again. And then somehow you have to force yourself to rediscover the world and the good things that exist within it. It takes an enormous amount of effort and I think the fact that the OP has had the strength to not only recover but reach out and help others shows something incredibly admirable about the person she is.

While not trying to minimize anything the OP went through, many of these things are just life. One of my brothers died when I was younger, my dad has cancer, my younger brother is in jail for being reckless, and my older brother has battled substance abuse issues (legal and illegal) for years. None of those things were mentioned in my application at all. When I was reviewing applications, mentioning things like that make me wonder if maybe someone is trying to get a sympathy interview/acceptance.

You're trying to get into professional school, not Oprah.

Especially in light of the fact that most pre-meds are crying over C's in ochem...

Don't conflate SDN with real life.

 

[45408]

I just want to say that if I were the one looking over your file I would remember you as the woman who was assaulted first, and I would remember you for your qualifacations second. I can't say that this is the thing I would wish to be remembered for.

Bingo.

 

[LizzyM]

Is there any possibility that a person who has experienced sexual assault, childhood abuse, domestic violence, or other violent crime (e.g.being beaten by a stranger in the street) might be an asset in primary care or emergency medicine when it comes time to care for patients who have been victims of similar crimes?

Like iron that becomes stronger with high heat, can't an applicant give an example of the experience that has made her stronger?

TheProwler, I hear you but having family members who have suffered this or that is not the same as having experienced a violent crime against one's self.

 

[lpmarcus010]

My experience is that it is best not to put anything that you think is questionable. When I was 20, I came to terms with the fact that I was suffering from the chronic and fatal illness of alcoholism and substance abuse. It is not that I was a bad person, but just that I have a genetic predisposition that makes me respond differently to alcohol and drugs than do others. I have currently been clean and sober for over five years, and a huge part of the person I am today is the result of my recovery. I continue to attend 12 step meetings, I work with other young people recovering from addiction, I speak at schools about recovery, and I have volunteered hundreds if not thousands of hours at local detox centers and rehab facilities. When I was faced with a secondary app prompt like "What is the greatest difficulty you have overcome?" my recovery from substance abuse was the first thing that came to mind.

For half of my secondaries, I talked about how my recovery from chronic illness has shaped me etc., and for the other half I avoided the topic. I did not receive a single interview from the schools that I talked about alcoholism on the secondary. I followed up with a few schools about why I was rejected, and a few hinted at some adcom members feeling uneasy with "portions of my life experiences".

Luckily, I got into my top choice school (and I didn't talk about alcoholism by the way), and when I arrived at school and talked with one of the dean's about my experiences, she said I should have talked about that on my application because that is going to make me a compassionate physician. Nevertheless, I am glad I didn't talk about it on this one particular application because I may have been rejected (even though the dean thinks it is great experience). The long moral to my story is do not put anything on your application that some idiot may find offensive or uncomfortable, even if most rational and compassionate people would find your experience life changing and positive.

P.S. I had multiple people ( advisers, adcom members, etc.) read my essays regarding recovery from alcoholism, and everyone felt that they were very tasteful essays. I focused on how struggling with illness has given me insight into patient advocacy and compassion; I also talked about how the act of helping others battling addiction and sharing my experience with other young people has proven to be my greatest therapy. Good essay or not, I feel talking about this torpedoed my applications at some schools.

 

[nickmx50]

OP, it seems that there is a mixed bags of opinions on this. This subject is really going to hit people differently, and I could only think it you would receive the same mixed opinions from the people who read your secondary. You certainly are brave for sharing your story and everything you have overcome. Good luck.