At a crossroads...

[drbatsandwich]

I’m sorry to hear about your unsupportive mother. As a mother myself, I just can’t imagine not wanting to do everything in my power to help my son achieve his goals. I truly hope you’re able to get through this on your own and prove to everyone how capable you are!

With regards to school, I think med schools prefer to see prerequisites and science classes in general at 4 year universities. What I would do, is check out the major programs at the 4yr you’d like to end up at. Decide on a major, and figure out the general education/core requirement sequence you’d need. Gen ed stuff can take up like two years. I got a BA in chemistry and my first two years were mostly humanities and foreign language classes. I did take the full year of gen bio freshman year but all my major requirements and all other BCPM were taken my junior and senior year. You could for sure take gen ed’s at CC to save some money and get your gpa yo. Talk to an academic advisor at the 4yr and make sure they will all transfer over properly.

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[deleted1065262]

Ok, so I thought I would update you all.

This semester has been hard, but I am hanging in there. A lot of stuff at work has been going on, and it makes me ashamed to admit this, but it did get to me. And I have gotten behind.

I have gotten involved in the TRIO program at my school, and am working with my professors to catch up. They have professional tutors and they help so much.

I have also gone down to 3 days a week at work, and am honestly considering not continuing employment at Walmart if I can find something else.

Next semester CANNOT be a repeat of this one, and I will do everything in my power to ensure that it is not.

I have also started therapy...luckily I found someone who specializes in aspergers and ADHD, who seems to understand me well, and it has helped a ton. I should have done this sooner.

(I know there is a stigma of having mental health issues in medicine, and I honestly have kinda hesitated to post about this here because of that. It is kinda scary posting this for me tbh...)

She has suggested I find a psychiatrist or “provider” who specializes in aspergers as well, and has recommended one. I have reached out to her to see if she even has any appts.

The one I see now is...ok I guess, but he does not really know anything about aspergers. I think I could benefit from someone who knows a little more about that condition.

Right now I am trying to focus on the positive and not let my anxiety about issues outside of my control get to me.

I do honestly feel kinda ashamed that I even have issues and that I even think I could be a doctor.

So that’s my update I guess...I am hanging in there and going to keep moving forward I guess.

 

[deleted1065262]

I have a family friend who is a Doctor (but has since retired) and she has been encouraging.

She does think I can do it, tho I also know a lot has changed since she has gone to med school.

 

[deleted1065262]

If anyone has any words of encouragement or advice, it would be appreciated.

I am beating up on myself a lot at this point. I know it will get better and that I will figure stuff out, but it’s still hard to remain positive.

 

[LunaOri]

If anyone has any words of encouragement or advice, it would be appreciated.

I am beating up on myself a lot at this point. I know it will get better and that I will figure stuff out, but it’s still hard to remain positive.

You are on the right track. Keep working hard, take care of yourself, and let us know how it goes. Good luck!

 

[OnceARunner]

If anyone has any words of encouragement or advice, it would be appreciated.

I am beating up on myself a lot at this point. I know it will get better and that I will figure stuff out, but it’s still hard to remain positive.

Don’t beat yourself up over one or two bad test scores (I know, easier said than done as a pre-med)! I had been out of school for eight years before starting my med school prerequisites, and some of my first test scores were pretty terrible. I was able to rebound from those to do just fine in my classes overall. Find a study strategy that works for you and don’t give up!

Also, don’t listen to the naysayers. I would have never gotten anywhere in life or my first career if I listened to the people who told me what I couldn’t do.

Good luck. I hope to see you post on here with an acceptance some day!

 

[deleted1065262]

Don’t beat yourself up over one or two bad test scores (I know, easier said than done as a pre-med)! I had been out of school for eight years before starting my med school prerequisites, and some of my first test scores were pretty terrible. I was able to rebound from those to do just fine in my classes overall. Find a study strategy that works for you and don’t give up!

Also, don’t listen to the naysayers. I would have never gotten anywhere in life or my first career if I listened to the people who told me what I couldn’t do.

Good luck. I hope to see you post on here with an acceptance some day!

Thank you so much!!

 

[deleted1065262]

UPDATE (12/28/2020 @ ~10:28pm) I am glad this year is almost over lol. There was a shooting at my apartment building on Christmas Eve and someone literally busted into my apartment trying to get away from it...so like...I am just ready for all this COVID and holiday BS where people get highly emotional to be over.

Been on leave from work getting my head right and I am considering other options but I might return to work for 3 days a week.

I am basically still alive after everything so I am just greatful for that essentially.

And if you lived through this year you're awesome as well!!

Ok, I am done with the sappy a** COVID BS....you can make fun of me if you want idc lol.

EDIT: Forgot to add...everyone is physically fine and they did catch one guy.

 

[deleted1065262]

2021...I have a bunch of easy classes for this semester while I get my head right.

I reevaluated them after the incident with gun violence at my building. Moving is not an immediate option sadly.

So the best option for me is to take it easy this semester.

IDK...maybe I will write a like...admissions essay for medical school about all of this...it's kinda COVID related but the more I dig into the people involved it seems it was related to drug dealing. COVID could have amplified the stress these people were under tho...and like...I know what everyone on here and on other pre-med/med student places say about COVID essays.

But so far at my building it is quiet. And I think they know they attracted too much attention. Also, I have a feeling after COVID restrictions on evictions end these people that were involved will find themselves out.

However, surviving this has kinda made me feel I can survive anything I need to.

Some are going to read this and think it is BS...but honestly? Unless you have heard gun shots and then seconds later had someone bust into your door with only his body strength I don't want to hear it from you. If you have survived that and immediately after were able to preform at peak level you are awesome and can yell.

I think the guy who busted into my apartment was scared for his life...I have nothing against him. He even said his Uncle (who has been kinda problematic) has his moments.

Anyways, I am taking care of myself and I know 2021 will likely be better.

We all survived this and we are stronger for it.

 

[deleted1065262]

And also...to kinda give you some idea...this stuff that happened Christmas Eve had been building since Summer at least...probably earlier but that is when police activity ramped up.

Regardless, I like my building. And I am not leaving easily.

 

[deleted1065262]

Ok, so classes started a little more than a week ago. I have a good feeling about this semester. And 2021.

I am still recovering from the break in and shooting. It was very bizzare. Like when a guy breaks into your house and then agrees you have to call the police then like...wut lol? I have ups and downs. Now I am trying to keep myself occupied and such.

I am exploring moving but that will take time. I am low income and as I mentioned in other posts am disabled (autism mainly). So that's why it will take time. But it will happen. Which leads me to my next point...

A fair amount of student loan money is going towards things that will make me feel safe. Like an apartment security system. I am not being cheap either. I don't want to say too much but I need to be safe. If you don't feel safe then you can't do much.

I am exploring options that would allow me to quit Walmart. I just cannot focus on that company right now at all. I went back for a day and it was too much. I basically can figure out something to say later to medical schools when I apply. Right now I have to focus on being sane and my education. Especially after what happened.

I see it this way, medical school has a 0% chance of happening if I end up actually going insane. And Walmart...my store at least is going in a direction I cannot be apart of.

I have a therapist of course. And a wonderful new psychiatrist who gave me an entire hour. It was through telehealth tho. So I still have my old psychiatrist prescribing stuff. But when the time comes when I can meet him IRL I am moving to him (the one that gave me an hour). And I am actually going to call today and see if they know when that will be happening...or if they have any idea. They may not but it's good to call at least and see.

So that's my update for now.

 

[deleted1065262]

I started working jobs at age 14 to pay for shoes, school supplies, clothing. My parents never finished grammar school in our original country, so they could not tutor me in high school, nor could they complete college forms, financial aid apps, etc. I took city buses to get to high school classes, went home after classes and took another city bus to get to my high school job. I worked menial jobs in college: washing greasy pots, dishes and trays at a cafeteria, cleaned toilets, picked up trash and at time ate out of can. I graduated from college in 4 years by age 20 in a different state, my parents attended graduation and cried the whole time, never understanding a word that anybody said. It was their one and only time visiting my college campus. Today I am married, have a family, hold college and graduate degrees, my English is flawless and applying to medical school. I still see myself as that immigrant seeking to make it in America. Here’s the thing: I never saw myself as poor or as a victim. I saw nothing but opportunities all for the taking.

Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off of the prize.

I don’t see my self as a victim at all lol.

I have survived a lot. I don’t want to detail it all here.

Poor is a matter of income. It is what it is, it’s not anything bad. I call things what they are. You are free to disagree.

I am not taking my eyes off the prize at all. There are opportunities out there.

 

[deleted1065262]

I try and take everything that has happened to me and use it to make me stronger.

But I also have to balance that with being kind to myself, especially now.

 

[TragicalDrFaust]

Hi I was skimming over this post again and I wanted to tell you that you can absolutely make it through undergrad and medical school with mental illness. Some of my brightest classmates have ADHD. I have bipolar. Also my uncle, who is a great internist (I shadowed him and he was truly inspirational), well he's never been diagnosed but has many traits that suggest to me he may be on the spectrum and have dyslexia. People with mental illnesses may need to take different approaches to succeed in school and rotations, but that's true of everyone to some degree. For me, that means making sure I have a consistent schedule, staying positive/keeping things in perspective and avoiding people and situations that might bring out the bad sides of me when possible (there was plenty of time for that during my gap years lol). For my classmates with ADHD, often times that means working out specific study strategies that they know keep them engaged and work for them.

 

[deleted1065262]

Hi I was skimming over this post again and I wanted to tell you that you can absolutely make it through undergrad and medical school with mental illness. Some of my brightest classmates have ADHD. I have bipolar. Also my uncle, who is a great internist (I shadowed him and he was truly inspirational), well he's never been diagnosed but has many traits that suggest to me he may be on the spectrum and have dyslexia. People with mental illnesses may need to take different approaches to succeed in school and rotations, but that's true of everyone to some degree. For me, that means making sure I have a consistent schedule, staying positive/keeping things in perspective and avoiding people and situations that might bring out the bad sides of me when possible (there was plenty of time for that during my gap years lol). For my classmates with ADHD, often times that means working out specific study strategies that they know keep them engaged and work for them.

I think so too!! I am dealing right now with trauma and stuff from the break in/shooting and there was stuff that happened before that. So far I am choosing not to disclose those things but it's not just the shooting.

So right now I am focused on healing.

 

[deleted1065262]

Ok, I got a security system today.

For the first time since the home invasion and shooting I feel I can breathe!!

It’s hard to describe...I think that everyone who has had their home invaded should have access to one tbh.

It’s therapeutic.

 

[deleted1065262]

Ok, so an update mid-semester:

I am working closely with my professors and the school after this issue at my building arose. See posts before this around December 24th, 2020. That’s when the shooting in the building and a break in to my apartment (by someone who was likely running for his life, judging by how he acted and talked, even agreed police needed to be called).

There is a trial next week I have to testify in. And I am aware, and the County Attorney’s Office has made me aware, that having to testify is unusual.

It was jarring to get the subpoena and the call but at least I can say that means this isn’t some regular event for me in regards to criminal matters that I just take casually. Always try to find the good.

The issue and things leading up to it have caused trauma. Again, I do not wish to disclose anything publicly on here.

I am working with a therapist now who is very experienced (older, used to be a social worker) as I had to change therapists.

Currently I am trying to focus on school as much as possible but also trying to stay sane. My neighbor across from me who I have actually just started talking to after all of this has panic attacks as well.

I am looking for options that will allow me to focus on school as employment at Walmart (for me) is going to be too much to deal with at the moment.

I do have my Doggie I have to take care of as well. So that is also something that helps keep me sane when she is not trying to drive me insane (usually over food).

Edit: And I feel I should clarify, a lot of my current anxiety is that after all of this the neighbors who brought the situation here are still living here. Because the city does not see fit to kick them out. The city is a lot kinder than I am. Think Miranda Bailey, she is my 1st hero. Dr. House is 2nd.

 

[deleted1065262]

And to clarify, I don’t see myself a a victim per say.

More of a survivor.

Just in case anyone has any type of comment to make regarding my self perception.