At what point in residency will I not feel worthless?

[Quizlet04]

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After yet another thrilling rotation in which my role in a case is to stand out of the way (yes, I've asked to do things, chased residents, greeted attendings, showed up to pre-op, etc. I am proactive.) I've realized I'm essentially a worthless human being. My best benefit to the hospitals I rotate in will be to find one with a good transplant program and carefully off myself so as to provide continuous blood flow to my other organs. However, I've maxed out the credit cards on interviewing and applications so if I don't make it back, my wife's credit will be hurt. Thus, can't put an end to my suffering.

Please tell me at some point in residency I'll feel like I'm a useful creature contributing something to the hospital besides baller notes.

 

[Perrotfish]

After yet another thrilling rotation in which my role in a case is to stand out of the way (yes, I've asked to do things, chased residents, greeted attendings, showed up to pre-op, etc. I am proactive.) I've realized I'm essentially a worthless human being. My best benefit to the hospitals I rotate in will be to find one with a good transplant program and carefully off myself so as to provide continuous blood flow to my other organs. However, I've maxed out the credit cards on interviewing and applications so if I don't make it back, my wife's credit will be hurt. Thus, can't put an end to my suffering.

Please tell me at some point in residency I'll feel like I'm a useful creature contributing something to the hospital besides baller notes.

First, I think this was dark humor, but if by any chance you are actually thinking of hurting yourself, please seek medical attention immediately.

As for feeling useless on clinicals, yes the feeling is nearly universal. You will feel useful when you start residency. As in day one of residency. In fact you will be so useful that there will be an absolute panic in the hospital if you ever try to call out sick, because the hospital can't function without you and your equally useful coresidents will be to busy on their own services to cross cover.

 

[mimelim]

After yet another thrilling rotation in which my role in a case is to stand out of the way (yes, I've asked to do things, chased residents, greeted attendings, showed up to pre-op, etc. I am proactive.) I've realized I'm essentially a worthless human being. My best benefit to the hospitals I rotate in will be to find one with a good transplant program and carefully off myself so as to provide continuous blood flow to my other organs. However, I've maxed out the credit cards on interviewing and applications so if I don't make it back, my wife's credit will be hurt. Thus, can't put an end to my suffering.

Please tell me at some point in residency I'll feel like I'm a useful creature contributing something to the hospital besides baller notes.

I parrot @Perrotfish tone doesn't come across well on message boards. If this isn't simply dark humor coming through, seek help and seek it now.

Medical training is long. It is worrying that you feel worthless. Useless maybe, but worthless is an odd one. Your utility rises as your usefulness rises, which comes with time.

 

[mmmcdowe]

Intern year some and progressively more each year

 

[Quizlet04]

First, I think this was dark humor, but if by any chance you are actually thinking of hurting yourself, please seek medical attention immediately.

As for feeling useless on clinicals, yes the feeling is nearly universal. You will feel useful when you start residency. As in day one of residency. In fact you will be so useful that there will be an absolute panic in the hospital if you ever try to call out sick, because the hospital can't function without you and your equally useful coresidents will be to busy on their own services to cross cover.

It's dark humor, so dark it's nearly pitch black. I'm pretty well medicated for depression and I have enough self control not to kill myself or self-harm beyond occasionally saying what I'm thinking during an interview.

I thought by fourth year I'd be able to do something and I'm doing less now than third year sometimes. I am excited and terrified at being an essential member of the hospital when I feel like I know jack ****.

 

[WingedOx]

Intern year some and progressively more each year

Yup. By the end of intern year, I felt like I'd actually learned something.

You don't really learn to make decisions in med school during M3-4. Once you're an intern, you learn to sink or swim, and that most of the time, you're far more capable of swimming than you'd realized.

 

[CherryRedDracul]

I think I stopped feeling useless around October-November of intern year. Not to worry though, there aren't high expectations for newbie interns. Just know how to replenish the electrolytes.

 

[NickNaylor]

I hated the clinical aspect of medical school. I found the whole process to be little more than pageantry and found the whole thing dissatisfying and a beat down. I did enjoy the social aspect of it, but that was just about the only redeeming part of the experience for me.

Residency has been an entirely different experience. I love residency, love my work, feel invested in my training, and play a primary role in patient management with fairly little oversight by attendings. Residency was a little hectic initially but, even then, nothing like the medical school experience IMO. I imagine this is highly dependent on your field, though, as my guess is that my procedural colleagues have likely had a different experience.

While the responsibilities and hours in residency might be worse than what you’ve experienced in medical school, I think The fact that 1) you’re working primarily in your ultimate field of interest and 2) you can actually do something tangible and meaningful in patient care makes the whole experience infinitely better. You also begin to really become an expert in your field; you have real knowledge and skills that you can use to improve others’ lives. This is an incredibly satisfying realization, for me at least.

My guess is that, for most people, residency is generally a better - albeit busier and more stressful - experience compared to medical school.