Awful work situation, need help

Started by Horriblebosses
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Horriblebosses

New Member
7+ Year Member
Hi all,

I have been in a difficult situation for the past year and need some advice.

I was working as a nanny for 2 doctors for 9 months. Long story but it was a ridiculous situation, they were treating me poorly and it was a nanny job so I had no reason not to quit. Gave 2 months notice and thought it would be fine, but instead they just started being super weird.

Before I quit, I had gotten a job doing research for the father of the baby. Maybe he thinks I waited until I got the research job to quit the nanny job (I quit a month later). 2 weeks after I quit they told me not to come anymore.

However the research job is on my app, and at the time I enjoyed it, and he can't fire me so he's stuck with me. The reason I don't enjoy it anymore is he's been avoiding me. He literally will turn around if he sees me. If he has to talk to someone next to me he will make absolutely sure not to make eye contact with me. I will say hello and he will just ignore me. The thing is I'm doing HIS research, and I've found out that the exact same papers have already been published by other people. So now I'm stuck and he won't talk to me. Note that it's been THREE MONTHS of this nonsense.

If it weren't for med school apps I would have quit already. If I quit now I'll have done 500 hours less research than indicated on my AMCAS app, and I'm guessing I'd have to notify med schools. How would I explain that a doctor was behaving like a 5 year old and that's why I quit?

What would you do?
 
It sounds like you handled all of this terribly, and are being quite immature yourself. You got a second job working for someone you said treated you poorly in the first job, then quit the first one where you work with his family, and are then shocked and indignant that he's not impressed? You said you're "doing HIS research" as though you're doing him some huge favour when you're the one getting a research opportunity that pre-meds everywhere scramble for. Who cares if he's a jerk, he doesn't owe you anything.

Grow up.
 
NotASerialKiller said:
It sounds like you handled all of this terribly, and are being quite immature yourself. You got a second job working for someone you said treated you poorly in the first job, then quit the first one where you work with his family, and are then shocked and indignant that he's not impressed? You said you're "doing HIS research" as though you're doing him some huge favour when you're the one getting a research opportunity that pre-meds everywhere scramble for. Who cares if he's a jerk, he doesn't owe you anything.

Grow up.
Click to expand...
Well I guess I hadn't looked at it that way. I am grateful that I got the opportunity.

When I say I'm doing HIS research I mean I'm writing papers that he wants to publish. I'm not asking him to like me, but shouldn't he be interested in his own papers?

Also yes definitely won't ever get two jobs from the same people and think it's a great idea ever again.

Regardless of how poor my reasoning was in this, the situation remains the same for my med school apps.
 
Get the F out of there!



Horriblebosses said:
Hi all,

I have been in a difficult situation for the past year and need some advice.

I was working as a nanny for 2 doctors for 9 months. Long story but it was a ridiculous situation, they were treating me poorly and it was a nanny job so I had no reason not to quit. Gave 2 months notice and thought it would be fine, but instead they just started being super weird.

Before I quit, I had gotten a job doing research for the father of the baby. Maybe he thinks I waited until I got the research job to quit the nanny job (I quit a month later). 2 weeks after I quit they told me not to come anymore.

However the research job is on my app, and at the time I enjoyed it, and he can't fire me so he's stuck with me. The reason I don't enjoy it anymore is he's been avoiding me. He literally will turn around if he sees me. If he has to talk to someone next to me he will make absolutely sure not to make eye contact with me. I will say hello and he will just ignore me. The thing is I'm doing HIS research, and I've found out that the exact same papers have already been published by other people. So now I'm stuck and he won't talk to me. Note that it's been THREE MONTHS of this nonsense.

If it weren't for med school apps I would have quit already. If I quit now I'll have done 500 hours less research than indicated on my AMCAS app, and I'm guessing I'd have to notify med schools. How would I explain that a doctor was behaving like a 5 year old and that's why I quit?

What would you do?
Click to expand...
 
Horriblebosses said:
As in quit?
Click to expand...
:smack:

First, I can't say what they did that was treating you poorly so can't say much about your reasons to quit, why you stayed on to help in another area, or whatnot.

2nd, two months is sufficient notice... for any job other than PoTUS, CEO, Board Director.

3rd, never ever, ever, never, never never never, say a doctor was acting like a 5 year old. Ever. You could state, if asked, something along the lines of, "I thought it better to remove myself from a situation I did not fully understand when I started." They will be smart enough to connect the dots. Then bust your two-humped camel to find something else to research for the next 9 months.
 
Horriblebosses said:
Long story but it was a ridiculous situation, they were treating me poorly
Click to expand...

Can you give specifics? Just interested because maybe you misinterpreted how they meant to treat you?

Horriblebosses said:
The reason I don't enjoy it anymore is he's been avoiding me. He literally will turn around if he sees me. If he has to talk to someone next to me he will make absolutely sure not to make eye contact with me. I will say hello and he will just ignore me.
Click to expand...

You sure you're not reading too much into it? Nearly every doc I've met does this kind of thing. Their job is damn stressful and they're frankly not always in the mood to "Hey what's up? How's it going?" with you when there's a billion other things on their mind. They can be moody due to the stress for weeks/months on end. I'm actually the same exact way, which is why I understand it perfectly. I'm on some shifts where docs who know me well will totally ignore me, or do the same *looks at you then immediately looks away despite the fact you smile and wave* routine. And then the very next time I see them it's all handshakes and smiles. I just figure that's how things go, and I'm not going to break down and have a fit every time I don't get some Hollywood-level heart-to-heart face time with them. Although to be fair, sure, I feel like a total jacka** sometimes when I say hi and get just straight up ignored. That's only natural.

Horriblebosses said:
What would you do?
Click to expand...

I'd probably get over it and try to really impress him with the research. Try to get more one-on-one time with him, too, just discussing the research or whatever. The thing is I'm assuming you aren't going to have another opportunity like this, and it'd be helpful for your app. With that said, of course you're free to do as you please. Quit if you really think things are screwed there, but I'm just saying you should consider that perhaps you're overreacting and maybe you just aren't familiar with the way highly-ranked academic professionals do things.
 
Just look for another job. You ain't getting a LOR and he's not going to give you a bonus 5th author on a paper either, especially if you're not doing useful, publication worthy new research. You probably should have tried to fix your nanny situation instead of quitting. Maybe you did. Cut your losses and GTFO.
 
Enlight me: what you meant when you said you will have done 500 hours less than what you indicated on amcas? I Thot when you put in the hours on amcas means you put in what you did...not what you anticipate...correct me if I am wrong🙂
 
frenchyn said:
Enlight me: what you meant when you said you will have done 500 hours less than what you indicated on amcas? I Thot when you put in the hours on amcas means you put in what you did...not what you anticipate...correct me if I am wrong🙂
Click to expand...

That may have been true in the past, but the current AMCAS application asks you to combine past and projected future hours. On my app, I added them together for the "hours" section and specified how many hours were completed and how many projected in the description.
 
StudyLater said:
I just figure that's how things go, and I'm not going to break down and have a fit every time I don't get some Hollywood-level heart-to-heart face time with them. Although to be fair, sure, I feel like a total jacka** sometimes when I say hi and get just straight up ignored. That's only natural.
Click to expand...

lol sometimes I feel like a freaking dog for always seeking attention by greeting people. It never fades me how many times people may either respond to me sarcastically or ignore me. It sure does make me feel sad and maybe acts as a thorn for a while that day.
 
Agree with most of the posts above. Seems like you're both stuck in a bad situation, best thing would be to find a new job ASAP and have that lined up before you quit this one, so when you have to explain to med schools what happened you can say you found a new job about which you were really passionate.
 
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