Be nice to your student hosts!

[japonesa]

I haven't been on SDN in a while, so I dunno if this has already come up, but please be courteous to your student hosts. Now that I'm hosting students, I can say that although for the most part it's an enjoyable experience, it is taxing to have someone over and have to rearrange your schedule, etc. to accommodate an applicant.

I know it's stressful for you applicants as well- I remember being there last year, and I don't think I appreciated my hosts enough.

So if you need to stay more than one night, it's best to ask for 2 different hosts. Weekends are especially tough to have people over for 2 nights. And a thank you note, a little gift, or paying for a meal can go a long way.

I'm sure most of you are courteous hostees, but I recently had a bad experience with an applicant who didn't tell me until the day before she came that she was staying for 2 nights. I emailed the host program head about it, and she forwarded my email to the dean of admissions.

So basically, I wouldn't be surprised if the applicant doesn't get in because of this. I'm sure in the vast majority of cases, staying with a host has no effect on admissions, but I wanted to let you know that it can.

So again, don't take your hosts for granted!

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[premyo2002]

note to self... kiss hosts a$$ as much as possible

 

[mosoriire]

Damn, that sounds terrible: I'm beginning to wonder if there was any thing I did that might have cast negative light on my application. Thankfully, I didnt stay with a student host. I knew that it could be dicey: I'm very shy and reserved, so it takes a really special person to bond with me...No, seriously...

I feel sorry for the chick that this happened to. You know, sometimes, you just forget stuf...You're nervous, you assume thta the other person on the phone was listening to you when you said two nights, etc....Arggh! But then again, I agree that student hosts shouldnt have to deal with crap.

 

[Xmulder]

Originally posted by japonesa
I haven't been on SDN in a while, so I dunno if this has already come up, but please be courteous to your student hosts. Now that I'm hosting students, I can say that although for the most part it's an enjoyable experience, it is taxing to have someone over and have to rearrange your schedule, etc. to accommodate an applicant.

I know it's stressful for you applicants as well- I remember being there last year, and I don't think I appreciated my hosts enough.

So if you need to stay more than one night, it's best to ask for 2 different hosts. Weekends are especially tough to have people over for 2 nights. And a thank you note, a little gift, or paying for a meal can go a long way.

I'm sure most of you are courteous hostees, but I recently had a bad experience with an applicant who didn't tell me until the day before she came that she was staying for 2 nights. I emailed the host program head about it, and she forwarded my email to the dean of admissions.

So basically, I wouldn't be surprised if the applicant doesn't get in because of this. I'm sure in the vast majority of cases, staying with a host has no effect on admissions, but I wanted to let you know that it can.

So again, don't take your hosts for granted!

I agree. I was totally nice to all of my hosts. A couple were super nice driving me around, so I treated the poor med students to dinner.

 

[japonesa]

Originally posted by mosoriire
I feel sorry for the chick that this happened to. You know, sometimes, you just forget stuf...You're nervous, you assume thta the other person on the phone was listening to you when you said two nights, etc....Arggh! But then again, I agree that student hosts shouldnt have to deal with crap.

First of all, please no one panic and think this happens a lot. This particular applicant was just very irresponsible and inconsiderate. She waited to buy her plane tickets a day before she came, so not only was I getting annoyed that I had no idea when she was going to show up, but then all of us sudden she's like- oh, I'm staying two nights. She never even asked if it was ok.

Then on top of that she wakes me up early the morning of her interview to ask me for an iron. It would've been nice if she'd asked me the night before.

Ugh...sorry, just needed to vent. I hope she's not reading this.

And I didn't mean for all this to get to the dean of admissions- the host program person sent it to the dean unbeknownst to me until I got an apology from the dean.

 

[sistahnik]

that's so unfair!! I'm not saying that what the applicant did was ok, but my goodness a letter to the dean???? I hope that didn't cost her an acceptance. so harsh...

 

[Goober]

Originally posted by sistahnik
that's so unfair!! I'm not saying that what the applicant did was ok, but my goodness a letter to the dean???? I hope that didn't cost her an acceptance. so harsh...

people should realize that everything they do during the interview day (and even the night before if you are with a student) will potentially get reported to the adcom. If you leave a bad impression with some students even if you didn't interview with them or meet with them in any official capacity, word could get back to somebody on the adcom and your goose could be cooked so to speak.

 

[CalBeE]

I only stayed with student hosts twice and I stopped doing that...cause the experience really varies with the host.

At one of the hosts' place...the host and her BF were really nice...however, they have a cat and they left it in the living room with my mattress. So the cat kept on jumping on me in the middle of the night and I barely got any sleep...

At another hosts' place...I was dog tired when I got there and I wanted to sleep, but my host and his 3-4 other roommates were watching TV until very late, and I didn't find it polite to ask them to turn off the TV just for me...again I didn't get much sleep...

Sorry I just wanna vent even though it's unrelated

 

[beanbean]

On a more positive note..
I have written a short note recommending an applicant who really impressed me at lunch and on the tour and I thought she would be a great fit at my school. I don't know if she was accepted so who knows if it made a difference or not.

On the other hand I have heard some applicants say some pretty inappropriate things when the formal interview is over. Although the school may say that you will not be evaluated during lunch, etc., don't make an a$$ of yourself. It will get back to someone.

 

[Smile'n'Wink MD]

I totally agree with being nice to your host. I've been on about 6 interviews, and on each I've brought them a gift or took them out to dinner. I could tell they really appreciated it.

 

[TheRussian]

I've stayed with student hosts on a lot of interviews but I felt it would be awkeward if I brought them gifts or payed for dinner. So I never did. But I really appreciated all of their help, especially those that were willing to come pick me up from the train station, cook me dinner, attempt to get me drunk, etc...

As a result I'm definetely going to be a student host because I appreciate what they do and what it is like to be an interviewee on a limited budget. I don't expect any gifts or be payed for. Just doing it to help out my future collegues

 

[Fumoffu]

My student host at Rochester was one of the nicest people I have ever met and it was definetly a positive thing for me.

I would think applicants would be nice to their host out of curtesy alone since someone is going out of the way to accomodate you for free.

I didn't think it mattered in the application process though...!

 

[lukeday99]

I make it a policy to curl up in bed and sleep with my student host. I feel this really fosters unity and a sense of connection, and I feel has been advantageous to me in the admissions process.

 

[zinjanthropus]

Originally posted by japonesa
First of all, please no one panic and think this happens a lot. This particular applicant was just very irresponsible and inconsiderate. She waited to buy her plane tickets a day before she came, so not only was I getting annoyed that I had no idea when she was going to show up, but then all of us sudden she's like- oh, I'm staying two nights. She never even asked if it was ok.

Then on top of that she wakes me up early the morning of her interview to ask me for an iron. It would've been nice if she'd asked me the night before.

Ugh...sorry, just needed to vent. I hope she's not reading this.

And I didn't mean for all this to get to the dean of admissions- the host program person sent it to the dean unbeknownst to me until I got an apology from the dean.

don't volunteer to host people unless you are willing to be considerate of a very stressful situation. the fact that the student had to buy their ticket a day before flying for the interview should have only caused you more empathy towards their situation, not less.....sheees, i host grad students visiting our program quite often and i just try to make them feel as calm as possible.

 

[Samoa]

Originally posted by japonesa
First of all, please no one panic and think this happens a lot. This particular applicant was just very irresponsible and inconsiderate. She waited to buy her plane tickets a day before she came, so not only was I getting annoyed that I had no idea when she was going to show up, but then all of us sudden she's like- oh, I'm staying two nights. She never even asked if it was ok.

Then on top of that she wakes me up early the morning of her interview to ask me for an iron. It would've been nice if she'd asked me the night before.

Ugh...sorry, just needed to vent. I hope she's not reading this.

And I didn't mean for all this to get to the dean of admissions- the host program person sent it to the dean unbeknownst to me until I got an apology from the dean.

I don't think you did anything inappropriate. Any interviewee with any kind of interpersonal skills ought to know that if they make an ass of themselves at ANY point during the interview process--from making arrangements for the visit to writing thank you notes afterward--it could cost them an acceptance. There's a huge difference between taking off the super-professional mask we all wear during an interview to relax with your student host, and behaving in an irresponsible, inconsiderate and disruptive manner toward people who, after all, do have the right to comment on whether they'd want you as a colleague or fellow student.

And SO many times, people look back at behavior like that of your hostee and say, "you know, we should have known then that this person was going to be a problem." So you never know, you may have saved your school from admitting someone who really didn't belong there.

 

[Jet915]

Yes, it would be wise not to act like a total a**hole to your host. At Creighton, I remember our Dean telling use once how rude a interviewer was who was staying with a host and that person did not get in. I've hosted a lot of people this year and have had no problems. It's just important to remember to be nice and courteous to your host cause they are most likely really busy and being nice to them can go a long way.

Jetson

 

[jlee9531]

Originally posted by Jet915
Yes, it would be wise not to act like a total a**hole to your host. At Creighton, I remember our Dean telling use once how rude a interviewer was who was staying with a host and that person did not get in. I've hosted a lot of people this year and have had no problems. It's just important to remember to be nice and courteous to your host cause they are most likely really busy and being nice to them can go a long way.

Jetson

you are lucky your school rejected me or else i would have totally trashed your place man haha. jp

but yeah...all my student hosts rocked. if time permitted i hooked em up with a nice meal of their choice and all that jazz...its all good cause then you make some new friends you can always call up later on in the process and ask more questions about the school that can help you choose a school over the other.

 

[SunnyS81]

I've liked all the people I've hosted, although I agree in that accommodating the person in your schedule is something most hostees probably don't appreciate. I usually take at least 2 hours talking to the person and giving them a better idea of the school than they would otherwise have just by interviewing and going to the presentations given. Two hours may sound trivial, but that's a lot of time. I usually try to give a tour of the main campus and go to dinner. Paying for dinner would be appropriate (I take my kids to a place that costs less than $5 per person.......it just supposed to be symbolic). I've had people show up at 2am.....that is no fun because then for me to give the talk, its 4am before we sleep (and yes I ask if the person wants to talk about the school before launching into my pitch). I refuse to host people for multiple nights. Hosting people for one night is easy because they will be gone in the morning. Multiple nights means the person will be in and out most likely the following evening, and you have to stay home (no, I don't trust my interviewees to be in my apartment alone....)

On the other hand, I stayed with 2 hosts when I interviewed, so I'm returning the favor by hosting people. I think it is the way to go and my hosts definitely helped me get a better idea of what is going on at the school.

 

[Mr Reddly]

This thread reminds me of something. When I received the Davis list, it seemed as though EVERYBODY was on the list of host students. Does anybody know if Davis requires their students to be hosts?

 

[Samoa]

Yeah, I really liked my student host, and I learned a lot about the school from her. So I hosted students this year kind of to repay the favor, and met two really nice people in the process. I hope they both get in. One of them had a severe allergic reaction to my cat, poor girl, and I seriously considered sending the admissions office an e-mail letting them know what had happened, in case her interviews were not-so-stellar as a result. In retrospect, I probably should have, but at the time, I felt like it wasn't my place to try and influence them one way or another. Plus I have no doubt she did fine despite the adversity.

My point, though, is that I think admissions committees (the smart ones anyway) like to see you stay with a student host, because even though the host has no formal say in the process, it's one more way to screen for those intangible qualities.

 

[Spidey]

I think it's a pretty crappy thing to do to write a letter and try to get an interviewee in trouble because she asked to borrow your iron or whatnot... Probably she woke up and was having a mini melt down when she noticed a wrinkle that probably no one except an insanely nervous interviewee would notice. Everyone handles stress differently and med school interviews are one of the most stressful times in a person's life. Unless she was insulting or abusive then I think this was totally unnecessary. Not cool.

 

[BigBopper]

Originally posted by Spidey
I think it's a pretty crappy thing to do to write a letter and try to get an interviewee in trouble because she asked to borrow your iron or whatnot... Probably she woke up and was having a mini melt down when she noticed a wrinkle that probably no one except an insanely nervous interviewee would notice. Everyone handles stress differently and med school interviews are one of the most stressful times in a person's life. Unless she was insulting or abusive then I think this was totally unnecessary. Not cool.

It was more than just an iron. It sounded like a bunch of things- staying 2 days without asking. Scheduling the flight at the last minute so she has to rearrange her schedule. Who knows what else? Doesn't really matter.

As an earlier poster said you are being judged whether or not you are in a formal interview situation or not. Sure 99% of time these host things go over fine. But if somebody was really rude or inconsiderate I sure as heck would tell the dean or somebody on the adcom, because I wouldn't want that person representing my med school.

 

[Mr Reddly]

You know what? I totally agree. In fact, I remember this time when I was in high school and I had to give a tour to some prospective students - there was this one little kid that didn't want to play handball with me. I made sure to let the principal know because I absolutely did not want that kid representing my high school! Could you imagine if I had allowed that kid in? It would have pulled down the high school?s reputation and I wouldn't have gotten into college or anything! All the admissions people would have said "OMG!, you go to the same school as that guy?!?"

F-ing politics.

 

[Mr Reddly]

Sorry. Bad day. You know, I would love to be on a med school adcom. And instead of saying things like "OMG, this guy is pathetic, he would make a lousy doctor. There is no way I want him to come here." I would take every single file that comes across my desk and just absolutely sing the praises of that applicant... "Only a 2.5? But look, he's been improving! And look at this here, why that's not an ego, but sheer determination! What shy? No. He just seemed more thoughtful. I like that in an applicant! He'll make an excellent doctor!" ..."And Who's this? Suzie Johnson? Looks like she had a bad start. She doesn't like volunteering? Ya, but that's OK. It's not for everybody you know. I think she'll make an excellent <insert esoteric specialty here>! I think we need more students like her!"

... of course, they'd probably kick me off the board then for not being judicial enough.

 

[Samoa]

I appreciate your point MrReddly. Nonetheless, being able to "work and play well with others" is an essential skill in medicine, and people who don't demonstrate it when the situation demands (regardless of whether they CAN when they want to), are going to have difficulty being effective in their role as a physician.

Take your example of the kid who didn't want to play handball with you. Well, if handball-playing with all parties is a part of what his competence will be judged on, you really do need to turn away the kid who can't figure out that he needs to demonstrate a willingness to play with you, even if in any other situation he would refuse. You have to show understanding of, not rebellion against, the role you are seeking, and a willingness to comply with the expectations and social constraints it involves. Otherwise, why are you even applying?

It doesn't mean you have to be a sheep and go along with everything that's expected of you all the time, but you do have to be able to recognize a situation when it would be counterproductive to do otherwise, and accept that in this particular circumstance, you can't behave as you'd like.

(I don't mean you personally--it's just an example)

 

[Mr Reddly]

Last year in the OR (well actually the changing room to the OR) one of the docs told me he was applying to law school. When I asked why, he said, "to try and change the system."

I don't like the politics of this system. In fact, I don't like politics in general. But perhaps I keep trying for the same reason as the doc gave. Dunno. I hope the system doesn't change me and I become a gomer hater. We'll see.

I guess I'm a bit jaded. I've seen people (people that are close to me even) who are good at playing the system. They are good at looking perfect, sweet, and kind when they need to be, but IMHO are truly rotten to the core. As such, I hate judging people. But perhaps then, medicine isn't for me? or for those like me.

Ah... I?m sorry. I'm feeling a bit bitter today. I should probably stop typing and go to sleep. I?ll probably look at this post in the morning and wish I had put my foot in my mouth (err keyboard).

 

[Samoa]

That's why I didn't quote you.

I hate politics too, but I don't see it as that. It's a matter of your goals, and of keeping the system functional and sane. So what's the point of being nice to people? Well, a) My default behavior is friendliness, so I'm going to be considerate and nice to you unless you give me an important reason not to be; b) jobs where people like each other--or at least are friendly--are much better places to work than jobs where people are constantly saying nasty things to each other, and spreading malicious gossip; c) if someone's usually nice, then it carries much more weight with people on the occasions when they're not.

Keep your chin up--the admissions season is far from over.

 

[Goober]

Being in an enviroment where people are nice to each other and treat each other with respect is 100x better than being in enviroment where poeple are rude, condescending, and constantly trying to pick fights with you. It may be true some of these people are being fake and are not really like that, but I'll take that any day over an outright hostile enviroment.

 

[prophecy2]

I have a feeling it pays to put on a face througout the interview visit. I didn't do that tho. Maybe that's why I havent gotten much love. Some of us usually get smoked for dropping our masks and that's why real folks finish last!


Proph...