Beating a dead horse, but had to ask...sorry

[CeLo]

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I have to perface this by saying that although I knew I wanted to have children someday, I never thought I would be one of those women who would catch baby fever, but now I find myself pining away for kids every time I see one. Really stressing me out since I'm a 4th year med student applying for anesthesia for 2008. Have some interviews coming up, I think I have a pretty good chance of matching at my home institution.

I feel very torn between wanting to have kids during residency and my committment to my residency program. I know anything can be done if you really want it, but it would be nice to hear from people going through the same thing. My husband and I weren't ready for kids in time for me to have one 4th year, which would have been ideal. I have been thinking about having one at the end of my TY, but I worry that would mess up the beginning of my CA-1 year. On the other hand, I know it would be better to wait until the spring of my CA-1 year, but I really don't want to wait that long.

I feel like I can't talk about this to anyone at the programs I am looking into, and I don't know anyone in the "private" world to talk to. I think many of us face similar issues and fears, whether about marraige, kids, sick familiy members, or simply not knowing what we want to do with our lives, but are too scared to talk about it becuase we're all supposed to be so tough and committed. So anyone that can offeradvice/experience/encouragement/information would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

 

[Blade28]

If you want a brutally honest thread regarding female residents having babies during residency, read this:

New mom sues medical licensing board

Just don't post in there, for fear of resurrecting that thread!

 

[yadayadadude]

www.mommd.com is your new best friend.

 

[Tired]

I think many of us face similar issues and fears, whether about marraige, kids, sick familiy members, or simply not knowing what we want to do with our lives, but are too scared to talk about it becuase we're all supposed to be so tough and committed.

Yes, sounds like you have a good handle on the situation.

 

[mdjobexchange]

My wife is a fertility specialist and her motto is that, "There is no good time to have children."

Now that we have two of the little ones in the house, I would agree.

I would recommend any year except CA-2. CA-2 is busy, doing sub-specialty rotations like cardiac and vascular. CA-3 is not too busy. A year I would not recommend is the first year out of residency, as that was my most stressful year.

If you are worried about fertility issues, you can always check your FSH level and see what it is and what the trend is. If it starts creeping up, you might want to consider getting started. Fertility treatment is no fun. I know this will probably stress you out more, but many of our friends (mid 30s) are burning up my wife's cellphone minutes asking her about their fertility problems.

I don't know if you can take a year off before residency or not.

 

[buckley]

Unfortunately, like many events in life choices indeed have to be made. At the end of the day, that is really what you have: A CHOICE. Some suggestions if you really do want to get pregnant, you can take a year off, do research and then reapply to a very light specialty. Now before Mommy ObGyns and Surgeons storm after me how they are able to balance it and still be great moms (my compliments to you!) I'm just quoting a good teacher of mine who told me --and I appreciate her honesty---you really have to choose. Im sure there are many who have been able to balance it, but I have heard of many "horror" stories as well. My co-intern was crying to me because we were watching over the babies in our hospital's NICU and she realized she was not watching over hers. Another Pedia res I knew got Rubella and her daughter was born deaf. Yes, she did have the vaccine before. Then again, when the egg cells die---that is it. Don't get me wrong, I'm also thinking about these issues as well...Good luck to us!

 

[drtx]

Just go for it. I had 2 children one in college and one in med school and am in surgery (I have done 2 yrs of gen surg residency and now am in my 2nd year in the lab).

Sometimes, the kids were raised solely by my husband with my hours, sometimes the kids were raised by both of us at slower times, and now I do most of everything because I have the freedom to do so being in the lab.

I never had everything ALL AT ONCE. that is the most important thing to accept when trying to juggle it all.

I am so glad I had my children when I did because I realized from talking with all working moms (not ones just in medicine) that it never gets easier until you are at the very top of you professional game--by then it may be harder to have children...