being assertive

[qwe7791]

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i've recently accepted a position as a college tutor for lower division biology courses and i have taught a couple of times. however, there are always some students who disturb class, are on their phones, or not even paying attention. i feel compelled to become assertive because i feel it is disruptive to other students, but again, this is my first time ever having a job where this is necessary.

what are some available resources that can help me become more assertive? thanks.

 

[nabilesmail]

Talk to them after class, one time I and my friend were being disturbing and my teacher emailed us. She emailed us to give us decency in not yelling at us during class, that was very respectable. Just talk to them after, they'll understand. If not, slap them in the face and yell "BAD!!!"

 

[basedbear]

Talk to them. Man Up. Etc etc. Go watch Stand and Deliver or Coach Carter or something to learn how to deal with kids 🙂 it worked for me in tutoring/coaching

 

[qwe7791]

Talk to them. Man Up. Etc etc. Go watch Stand and Deliver or Coach Carter or something to learn how to deal with kids 🙂 it worked for me in tutoring/coaching

it's easier said than done because I haven't had any prior experience, but i'll give it a try.
How should I usually start though...?

 

[nabilesmail]

Seriously, go up to them after class and be like, "Hey, sorry to bother you but do you guys think you can keep it down a bit, your noise is distracting MY F******ING CLASS!!"

 

[spazz911]

If I were you I would outline in the very first day of tutoring that phones must be on silent. Make it clear what you think is a class disturbance and tell them that you WILL call them out if they fail to acknowledge this, as it is extremely disturbing to the rest of their classmates.

Personally, I wouldn't just email them after class. That's a great way to waste your own time and patience. Set forth your standards early on, and those who break those standards can then be talked to after class in person, or if they persist then feel free to confront them right then and there.

 

[qwe7791]

If I were you I would outline in the very first day of tutoring that phones must be on silent. Make it clear what you think is a class disturbance and tell them that you WILL call them out if they fail to acknowledge this, as it is extremely disturbing to the rest of their classmates.

Personally, I wouldn't just email them after class. That's a great way to waste your own time and patience. Set forth your standards early on, and those who break those standards can then be talked to after class in person, or if they persist then feel free to confront them right then and there.

Very well said and thought out. I will definite give this a try. Thank you, spazz911.

 

[cheechootrain]

I use a series of phrases to pump myself up so I can become assertive, usually in front of a mirror.

Such as, " You are strong as a train!" or "I think I can, I think I can!" or "All aboard! Cause this train is heading to Carnegie Hall!"

 

[PingPongPro]

If people were on their phones (not talking, but texting/internet quietly) or not paying attention, I wouldn't mind one bit. If they aren't taking advantage of your services its their loss. This isn't high school, let them not pay attention however they want as long as its not really disruptive to others.

 

[pineapplepancakes]

If I were you I would outline in the very first day of tutoring that phones must be on silent. Make it clear what you think is a class disturbance and tell them that you WILL call them out if they fail to acknowledge this, as it is extremely disturbing to the rest of their classmates.

Personally, I wouldn't just email them after class. That's a great way to waste your own time and patience. Set forth your standards early on, and those who break those standards can then be talked to after class in person, or if they persist then feel free to confront them right then and there.

I completely agree with this. I think the first thing you need to do is set clear expectations for how you want your class to run, and determine consequences for if those expectations are broken (I teach middle schoolers, so I'm sure my consequences are different than yours would be, but you can find something age-appropriate.) That way, you have every right to approach them when they are breaking the rules and ask them to either correct their behavior or face your established consequences.

 

[Ashley1989]

I teach classes and have had this problem before. What you do is before your next tutoring session make a general announcement that you've noticed that some people have been on their phones during the class, that it is a distraction to both you and the other students, and that if anyone chooses to use their phone during class without stepping outside you're going to ask them to leave (or, for a less extreme option you can say that texting during class isn't allowed and then if they do it say "________ you need to put your phone away". Then just stick to your guns and call them out. As far as not paying attention, I like to pop in random questions during my lecture, and usually ask the person who looks like they're paying the least attention. That usually solves the problem pretty quickly.

There's no need for you to be too assertive, just set some boundaries. If they refuse to respect you after that, then worry about being assertive.

 

[ComfortCreature]

you can also have a policy where if you see a student using his/her phone, they have to get up and sing a song of your choosing or leave. that should do it.

Being assertive takes time to get comfortable with, but you'll get there eventually. I've been learning how to do it with high schoolers at my job lately.

 

[qwe7791]

what are some template phrases that you guys have used in a college setting to become assertive when necessary? I feel I can call individuals out, but then I stumble with the thought of what to say to them...

 

[Ashley1989]

what are some template phrases that you guys have used in a college setting to become assertive when necessary? I feel I can call individuals out, but then I stumble with the thought of what to say to them...

It really depends. Throw out some scenarios

 

[psychgirrrl]

what are some template phrases that you guys have used in a college setting to become assertive when necessary? I feel I can call individuals out, but then I stumble with the thought of what to say to them...

I would straight up call out the student who is being disruptive and tell him or her that they are bothering other students in the class with their behavior. If they are not interested in taking advantage of tutoring they can leave the room, this is college, no one is forcing you to come to class.

 

[BigBlueBear]

What is this, high school? As long as the kids aren't blaring loud music or something who cares if they're not listening to you. It's their loss.

 

[MedPR]

Call them out in class. Tell them the tutoring session isnt mandatory and they can leave if they are going to be disruptive and inattentive.

Sent from my SGH-T999 using SDN Mobile

 

[deleted393595]

Dear <insert deity of your choice>, all of the advice on this thread is terrible.

From my experience as a tutor, here's what I'd recommend:

1. Don't "confront" individual students about being on their cellphones or not paying attention. It's their loss for services that they directly/indirectly paid for, and if you do go ahead and do that, can make you look like a total rear-retentive person since I doubt that their actions are that disruptive.

2. If a student is being disruptive (from my experience this usually can be someone who ends up asking a billion questions), just redirect other kids in the class to answer his/her question first before answering it yourself. Saves you time and trouble, and keeps the others engaged. Additionally, you can also ask them come talk to you after class if their questioning is holding back your lessons/review/whatever. Now, if a student is being really "disruptive", which I honestly doubt they would be, it would be a good idea to talk to them 1-on-1 about it later.

3. Perhaps your students are not paying attention because your material is too easy or something that they're familiar with? Try changing up your lesson plans, and maybe try including some interesting activities like group competitions to keep their attention.

 

[qwe7791]

Dear <insert deity of your choice>, all of the advice on this thread is terrible.

From my experience as a tutor, here's what I'd recommend:

1. Don't &quot;confront&quot; individual students about being on their cellphones or not paying attention. It's their loss for services that they directly/indirectly paid for, and if you do go ahead and do that, can make you look like a total rear-retentive person since I doubt that their actions are that disruptive.

2. If a student is being disruptive (from my experience this usually can be someone who ends up asking a billion questions), just redirect other kids in the class to answer his/her question first before answering it yourself. Saves you time and trouble, and keeps the others engaged. Additionally, you can also ask them come talk to you after class if their questioning is holding back your lessons/review/whatever. Now, if a student is being really &quot;disruptive&quot;, which I honestly doubt they would be, it would be a good idea to talk to them 1-on-1 about it later.

3. Perhaps your students are not paying attention because your material is too easy or something that they're familiar with? Try changing up your lesson plans, and maybe try including some interesting activities like group competitions to keep their attention.

I like the part where you mention a student asking too many questions and then redirecting their questions to other students. Great insight! I don't have trouble ignoring those students who are on their phones and not paying attention. It's just those students who click their pens extensively or make creaking noise with their chairs intentionally.. Also, do you guys have any insight to accomodate individuals who are quiet? I know there are shy individuals who are reluctant to ask questions or they may be really smart, but keeps to themselves. How would I bring them out of their shell and see if they have inquires?

 

[487806]

I use a series of phrases to pump myself up so I can become assertive, usually in front of a mirror.

Such as, " You are strong as a train!" or "I think I can, I think I can!" or "All aboard! Cause this train is heading to Carnegie Hall!"

You sure love trains. Can I be a conductor? I'm not that good in music, and ok in attracting heat and electricity.

 

[confusedteacher]

I've been a middle school math teacher for two years, along with coaching football and track, so I've dealt with similar situations daily.

Make sure you've clearly stated your expectations. Your students may not realize that you consider their actions inappropriate! That may be all that's needed. If it continues, just remind them of your expectations.

Of course, middle schoolers are a lot different than college students, but it's the same basic idea.

My last suggestion (and this is hard to do, at least for me) is to take a look at the way you're teaching or presenting. Are you engaging the students? Are they bored out of their minds? Bored students are the students that cause problems. Busy, engaged students rarely do.

 

[MedPR]

Dear <insert deity of your choice>, all of the advice on this thread is terrible.

From my experience as a tutor, here's what I'd recommend:

1. Don't "confront" individual students about being on their cellphones or not paying attention. It's their loss for services that they directly/indirectly paid for, and if you do go ahead and do that, can make you look like a total rear-retentive person since I doubt that their actions are that disruptive.

My SI supervisor told us to confront them amd kick them out if we feel its disruptive.

Sent from my SGH-T999 using SDN Mobile

 

[911 Turbo]

i've recently accepted a position as a college tutor for lower division biology courses and i have taught a couple of times. however, there are always some students who disturb class, are on their phones, or not even paying attention. i feel compelled to become assertive because i feel it is disruptive to other students, but again, this is my first time ever having a job where this is necessary.

what are some available resources that can help me become more assertive? thanks.

Take your glock out and lay it on the desk when they start talking.

 

[deleted393595]

My SI supervisor told us to confront them amd kick them out if we feel its disruptive.

Sent from my SGH-T999 using SDN Mobile

I'd be willing to do the same too if I felt that they were disruptive. On the other hand, it seems that we may be disagreeing here about what we deem to be "disruptive"

 

[Birdnals]

Good chance I'm wrong but aren't teachers evaluated in part by the performance of their students? Isn't the job of a teacher, whether in preschool or college, to find a way to get their message across to everyone?

If any of this is true, I have a hard time buying the "it's their loss" theory because
a. if they do poorly in the class that reflects on you as a teacher and an institution
b. it's a teacher's job to make a substantive effort to get their message to everyone. You can't just give up on everyone who doesn't share your same passions.

I coach high school lacrosse and I think the advice of letting your policies and their consequences on day one are the most important thing. No need for a lot of rules, just be sure to enforce the ones you do make, otherwise you'll become a pushover.

The legendary basketball coach John Wooden had a great philosophy for dealing with disruptive players. He didn't let them participate. In his thinking, the greatest punishment he could give was to deny someone the opportunity to participate.

Or you can do what one of my favorite teachers of all time did: Kick the kid out of the class for the day and give a "name quiz." That is, a quiz where the correct answer is your full name.

EDIT: For some more direct advice check out the book "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty" by Emanuel Smith. Some of my favorite coaching books, which are extremely relative to teaching, are "Wooden: A Lifetime of Observation and Reflections On and Off of the Court" by the aforementioned John Wooden and "The Score Takes Care of Itself" by legendary 49ers coach Bill Walsh. Those two are just awesome reads in general.

 

[MedPR]

I'd be willing to do the same too if I felt that they were disruptive. On the other hand, it seems that we may be disagreeing here about what we deem to be "disruptive"

That's true. I admittedly did not read the OP very thoroughly and all I saw was that these students are messing with their phones in class. If they're being loud and distracting either the OP or other students, I'd call it disruptive.

 

[WTEngel]

If it is distracting you, then address it, whether you feel like it affects the other students or not. It is hard for you to be at the top of your game if you are distracted.

Everyone has their own style. When I am lecturing, and I see students talking to each other, I usually say to them directly, "Excuse me, is there something that I haven't made clear?"

This kills two birds with one stone. A) If they are not discussing relevant information, it calls attention to them, and they look at you with a dear in the headlights look, and problem solved. B) If they are in fact discussing relevant information, and they do need clarification, there are likely multiple students with the same question, so I can address it head on.

Texting during a lecture is one of my pet peeves. I am certainly not there to be anyone's father and I am not forcing anyone to attend. If they feel like they have a matter pressing enough to remove their attention from the subject matter, then they should step outside and deal with it. If I see a student texting, usually I will ask "Is there something important that you need to take care of? If so, you need to step outside and take care of it."

I am used to teaching in a more rigid, structured environment (military, public safety) however, when I am teaching ACLS or PALS to physicians, nurses, RTs, etc. I still use the same techniques.

Keeping the students accountable and professional at the very least is a professional courtesy to them. If they think doing that kind of thing in a post graduate program is ok, they are likely mistaken...best to fix it now. At the very most, it is an academic favor, and hopefully they will learn the material better.

 

[hiyaman]

i've recently accepted a position as a college tutor for lower division biology courses and i have taught a couple of times. however, there are always some students who disturb class, are on their phones, or not even paying attention. i feel compelled to become assertive because i feel it is disruptive to other students, but again, this is my first time ever having a job where this is necessary.

what are some available resources that can help me become more assertive? thanks.

tell them to GTFO!

 

[MedPR]

Good chance I'm wrong but aren't teachers evaluated in part by the performance of their students? Isn't the job of a teacher, whether in preschool or college, to find a way to get their message across to everyone?

If any of this is true, I have a hard time buying the "it's their loss" theory because
a. if they do poorly in the class that reflects on you as a teacher and an institution
b. it's a teacher's job to make a substantive effort to get their message to everyone. You can't just give up on everyone who doesn't share your same passions.

I coach high school lacrosse and I think the advice of letting your policies and their consequences on day one are the most important thing. No need for a lot of rules, just be sure to enforce the ones you do make, otherwise you'll become a pushover.

The legendary basketball coach John Wooden had a great philosophy for dealing with disruptive players. He didn't let them participate. In his thinking, the greatest punishment he could give was to deny someone the opportunity to participate.

Or you can do what one of my favorite teachers of all time did: Kick the kid out of the class for the day and give a "name quiz." That is, a quiz where the correct answer is your full name.

EDIT: For some more direct advice check out the book "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty" by Emanuel Smith. Some of my favorite coaching books, which are extremely relative to teaching, are "Wooden: A Lifetime of Observation and Reflections On and Off of the Court" by the aforementioned John Wooden and "The Score Takes Care of Itself" by legendary 49ers coach Bill Walsh. Those two are just awesome reads in general.

A tutor is not the same as a teacher. We are told not to relecture, and to only help students if they have already shown effort to learn on their own. There, feel better?

Sent from my SGH-T999 using SDN Mobile

 

[Birdnals]

A tutor is not the same as a teacher. We are told not to relecture, and to only help students if they have already shown effort to learn on their own. There, feel better?

Sent from my SGH-T999 using SDN Mobile

I feel exactly the same as I did 10 minutes ago.

Isn't showing up for tutoring in the first place demonstrating effort though? Regardless, some principles from teaching still apply. If they show up and are disruptive, the suggestion of not allowing them to participate still exists.

 

[MedPR]

I feel exactly the same as I did 10 minutes ago.

Isn't showing up for tutoring in the first place demonstrating effort though? Regardless, some principles from teaching still apply. If they show up and are disruptive, the suggestion of not allowing them to participate still

If a student comes to my session and says "I haven't read the book or tried the problems and I'm here because I skipped class and need help" im not suposed to help them because it takes up too much time and I have other students to work with. I'm sure other schools are different but that's what my supervisor told me to do.


Sent from my SGH-T999 using SDN Mobile

 

[Birdnals]

If a student comes to my session and says "I haven't read the book or tried the problems and I'm here because I skipped class and need help" im not suposed to help them because it takes up too much time and I have other students to work with. I'm sure other schools are different but that's what my supervisor told me to do.


Sent from my SGH-T999 using SDN Mobile

OK I got ya. In this situation then yeah, no problem telling them to beat it. Like someone mentioned earlier, I guess the answers depends on the OPs definition of disruptive. Earlier he mentioned things like making racket and causing other general distractions so I was responding inline to that.