Being waitlisted at my top choice.

[pleasure109]

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Let me just preface it by saying that this is going sound like a rambling but I just have to get it out of my system. I just wanted to share how I feel at this moment and seek some guidance as to how to deal with it. As of now, I have been accepted to one school and waitlisted at the school of my top choice. I do like the school that I've been accepted to; it's basically your run of the mill medical school. Nothing special but an okay school overall. It's one of those schools that you never really know about before you apply to med schools. But it just doesn't make me feel the way that my top choice school does. I don't get any butterflies in my stomach, I don't want to make plans right away, I'm not looking into what's fun around the location, etc. I just don't appreciate it the way I appreciate my alma mater. Now, my top choice school that I've been waitlisted at, I can spend hours fantasizing about this school. I can see myself as those students on the covers of school pamphlets. I imagine, more frequently than anyone would venture to bet, myself as one of those student tourguides, telling the applicants about what I love about the school and how I've gotten off the waitlist. As a result, I just cannot part with the idea of attending the school of my top choice. I constantly check my e-mail/cellphone throughout the day; I'm more anxious than I was during the interview invite season. With this other school taking a firm hold on my mind, I'm worried that I'll never have that kind of enthusiasm for the accepted school and end up feeling disappointed in myself. It's not that I don't like my accepted school; it's that I like the other school so much more. Is there anyone who has matriculated at a school that they're not feeling particularly excited about but eventually grew a strong passion for their school? I want to have some school spirit for the med school that I attend. What I really don't want is to end up like some med students who never tell anyone which school they attend, one of the reasons for that being sick of repeating the school name and its location (I'm sorry, which school? oh, where is that?).

 

[longhorn09]

I'm sorry, which schools are you talking about?

 

[lisasimpson87]

I am/was in a similar situation...I had a very clear top choice school and then a couple other schools that were okay and I wouldn't mind going to, but whenever I thought about med school I pictured myself at the top choice. Then I got wait listed and I still am holding out some hope for an acceptance, but I'm trying to get excited about the idea of going to the "other" school. At first I was reallllly unexcited about it, and looking at housing options and things seemed like a chore rather than something fun that I looked forward to doing. But the more I thought about it and looked into it, the more I began to realize the other school that I'm going to has a lot of things that my top choice doesn't, e.g. will cost way less money, better area to live, slightly smaller student body, a couple extra-currics that I'm really excited about, etc. Sure, if I get accepted into my top choice I would go there without giving it a second thought, but I would actually realize the pros and cons rather than just being blinded by all the great stuff the first school has. If you can't think of any perks of your other school, try hanging out in the accepted class thread on this forum or on the waitlist thread and look at what people are saying who really want to go to that school, and you might begin to realize some of the great stuff it offers that you may not have thought about. I think the biggest thing is to just have a good attitude and an open mind in terms of having the school grow on you (rather than wishing you were at a different school and brushing off any positive aspects of your school). Good luck!

 

[aznb0y129]

Let me just preface it by saying that this is going sound like a rambling but I just have to get it out of my system. I just wanted to share how I feel at this moment and seek some guidance as to how to deal with it. As of now, I have been accepted to one school and waitlisted at the school of my top choice. I do like the school that I've been accepted to; it's basically your run of the mill medical school. Nothing special but an okay school overall. It's one of those schools that you never really know about before you apply to med schools. But it just doesn't make me feel the way that my top choice school does. I don't get any butterflies in my stomach, I don't want to make plans right away, I'm not looking into what's fun around the location, etc. I just don't appreciate it the way I appreciate my alma mater. Now, my top choice school that I've been waitlisted at, I can spend hours fantasizing about this school. I can see myself as those students on the covers of school pamphlets. I imagine, more frequently than anyone would venture to bet, myself as one of those student tourguides, telling the applicants about what I love about the school and how I've gotten off the waitlist. As a result, I just cannot part with the idea of attending the school of my top choice. I constantly check my e-mail/cellphone throughout the day; I'm more anxious than I was during the interview invite season. With this other school taking a firm hold on my mind, I'm worried that I'll never have that kind of enthusiasm for the accepted school and end up feeling disappointed in myself. It's not that I don't like my accepted school; it's that I like the other school so much more. Is there anyone who has matriculated at a school that they're not feeling particularly excited about but eventually grew a strong passion for their school? I want to have some school spirit for the med school that I attend. What I really don't want is to end up like some med students who never tell anyone which school they attend, one of the reasons for that being sick of repeating the school name and its location (I'm sorry, which school? oh, where is that?).

Well, I agree with the first part 😛

Bolded your actual question for ease of viewing.

 

[witness23]

Let me just preface it by saying that this is going sound like a rambling but I just have to get it out of my system. I just wanted to share how I feel at this moment and seek some guidance as to how to deal with it. As of now, I have been accepted to one school and waitlisted at the school of my top choice. I do like the school that I've been accepted to; it's basically your run of the mill medical school. Nothing special but an okay school overall. It's one of those schools that you never really know about before you apply to med schools. But it just doesn't make me feel the way that my top choice school does. I don't get any butterflies in my stomach, I don't want to make plans right away, I'm not looking into what's fun around the location, etc. I just don't appreciate it the way I appreciate my alma mater. Now, my top choice school that I've been waitlisted at, I can spend hours fantasizing about this school. I can see myself as those students on the covers of school pamphlets. I imagine, more frequently than anyone would venture to bet, myself as one of those student tourguides, telling the applicants about what I love about the school and how I've gotten off the waitlist. As a result, I just cannot part with the idea of attending the school of my top choice. I constantly check my e-mail/cellphone throughout the day; I'm more anxious than I was during the interview invite season. With this other school taking a firm hold on my mind, I'm worried that I'll never have that kind of enthusiasm for the accepted school and end up feeling disappointed in myself. It's not that I don't like my accepted school; it's that I like the other school so much more. Is there anyone who has matriculated at a school that they're not feeling particularly excited about but eventually grew a strong passion for their school? I want to have some school spirit for the med school that I attend. What I really don't want is to end up like some med students who never tell anyone which school they attend, one of the reasons for that being sick of repeating the school name and its location (I'm sorry, which school? oh, where is that?).

its just a med school....

as for advice, let time drag it out. you may or may not have a choice in a month or so.

 

[virusgirl]

Can you give us a little more detail as to why your top choice school is your top choice? I ask because you make it sound as if there are unique things about it that you won't get elsewhere, but I think that most schools are actually remarkably similar in most respects.

Make a list of the things you love about your top choice, and see if those are things that you could possibly have at the place you're (currently) planning to matriculate at. Some things, like location and cost, are things that you can't change. Others may already exist at the school you're going to, and if they aren't, if you work at it you can create those opportunities. (i.e. if you really liked the international opportunities offered by school A, see if you can't set up a similar thing at school B)

I'm sure you've heard the "be grateful for your acceptance because lots of people don't have any" so I'll spare you that 🙂 Just bear in mind that you are luckier than most, and I suspect that once you actually start school, you'll end up liking it more than you thought you would.

 

[Stixman28]

So this isn't a story about Med school adaptation but my lady was accepted to an awesome school in NE, and was forced to attend her state school to be near her mother who had been recently diagnosed with an illness.

She was very sad initially, but found her niche at her state school and eventually loved it more than she could have ever dreamed, the curriculum, the students and the faculty. Just keep a positive attitude and you can make the most out of anywhere you attend.

 

[honker]

You should never fall in love with a particular school. You are obviously lovestruck.

 

[pleasure109]

Thanks for all the response.

Lisa, I think you were/are in a similar situation and really understand the predicament I'm in. Thank you, it's a nice feeling to know that somebody understands.

Virusgirl, yeah, when I do compare the two schools, the top choice always comes on top, so I stopped trying get to know the school. Yes, I am in a luckier situation than others and I am grateful, but I can't get rid of this longing for the other school.

Stixman, thanks for the anecdote. I guess you never do know what the future holds.

If I keep holding on to the hope for the other school, I think the disappointment is going to get bigger and bigger. I'll stay on the wait lists but I guess I better start drilling into myself the fact that I'll be attending that school come fall.

 

[dmblue]

I don't really understand this thread. Yes, you can fall in love with a school if it's not your first choice. I guarantee that nearly everyone in this forum didn't get into their top choice for undergrad. I can also guarantee that the vast majority of these people had a great time in undergrad and loved the school.

I am sure the same applies to medical school. As long as you don't hate the school, you should be fine.

 

[OpalOnyx]

Let me just preface it by saying that this is going sound like a rambling but I just have to get it out of my system. I just wanted to share how I feel at this moment and seek some guidance as to how to deal with it. As of now, I have been accepted to one school and waitlisted at the school of my top choice. I do like the school that I've been accepted to; it's basically your run of the mill medical school. Nothing special but an okay school overall. It's one of those schools that you never really know about before you apply to med schools. But it just doesn't make me feel the way that my top choice school does. I don't get any butterflies in my stomach, I don't want to make plans right away, I'm not looking into what's fun around the location, etc. I just don't appreciate it the way I appreciate my alma mater. Now, my top choice school that I've been waitlisted at, I can spend hours fantasizing about this school. I can see myself as those students on the covers of school pamphlets. I imagine, more frequently than anyone would venture to bet, myself as one of those student tourguides, telling the applicants about what I love about the school and how I've gotten off the waitlist. As a result, I just cannot part with the idea of attending the school of my top choice. I constantly check my e-mail/cellphone throughout the day; I'm more anxious than I was during the interview invite season. With this other school taking a firm hold on my mind, I'm worried that I'll never have that kind of enthusiasm for the accepted school and end up feeling disappointed in myself. It's not that I don't like my accepted school; it's that I like the other school so much more. Is there anyone who has matriculated at a school that they're not feeling particularly excited about but eventually grew a strong passion for their school? I want to have some school spirit for the med school that I attend. What I really don't want is to end up like some med students who never tell anyone which school they attend, one of the reasons for that being sick of repeating the school name and its location (I'm sorry, which school? oh, where is that?).

One of the biggest lessons I've learned with this whole med school application thing is that dreams can change. Even if you don't get into your top choice school, you can achieve just as many great things with the school you've been accepted at. Just realize that you are SO lucky to be accepted to a school when there are so many people who get rejected and waitlisted/rejected from med school. Don't rain on your own parade by focusing on the one school that you weren't accepted to. Be happy with what you DO have.

 

[Slade]

Hey OP,
Here is the link to a videa of a talk by Harvard Psychologist Dan Gilbert called "Why are we happy?".
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.html

It's really entertaining and enlightening! Basically, it describes studies that show that humans are designed to make the most of what they have.

Hence, the video implies that, left with no choice, i.e. if you don't get into your top school, your brain will make it so you will become happy with your second choice school and will even make you prefer it over your top choice eventually.

Anyways, it's a pretty cool video and it's only 10 minutes long, so I highly recommend watching it.

in any case, good luck on the WL

 

[DrJD]

I don't know whats going on here... Its like I've entered a time warp or something, because this doesn't seem like the "pre-allo" forum at all..

Where are all the people saying "stop your whining you've been accepted to med school."

Or people mocking with things like "So I have a question too, i've been accepted to my state school but waitlisted at Harvard and I just can't see myself happy anywhere but Harvard, wa, wa, wa..."

Really weird... That said, kudos to everyone being nice! It is a pleasant change from the tone of many threads this past week.

However, I'd still have to say some form of "get over it..." You've beaten the odds and gotten accepted to medical school. This is a huge accomplishment, and if you are relying on the school you are at for happiness then you have issues that go beyond your waitlist status. You need to learn to be happy despite your surroundings, because like it or not, you don't always get to go to the school you want, or work in the city you want, etc. etc. etc.

Do as others have suggested and continue to research the school you have been accepted to and find ways to make it meet your expectations. Plan to start a club if it isn't there, find a good church, serve at the community center, or whatever else helps you to be fulfilled.

All that said, good luck on the waitlist, hopefully all of this will be a non-issue...

EDIT: To say that OP I feel your pain because I am in the same situation, but as you can see our situation is not unique. In fact it is common, so the best thing for us to do is avoid pity parties. My wife and I are trying our best to do everything i said above as we go through the summer waiting.

 

[qmcat]

OP, I'm in a similar situation. However, I'm really happy with the school that has accepted me. Sure I still have the occasional dream "what if I got into X" but I've been meeting and talking to my future classmates at my accepted school and getting to know some of the current med students there already who are all very cool people. I think you should try to do some research on your accepted school and find cool things around the area. You may be surprised with what you find.

I don't know whats going on here... Its like I've entered a time warp or something, because this doesn't seem like the "pre-allo" forum at all..

Where are all the people saying "stop your whining you've been accepted to med school."

Or people mocking with things like "So I have a question too, i've been accepted to my state school but waitlisted at Harvard and I just can't see myself happy anywhere but Harvard, wa, wa, wa..."

Maybe they haven't logged on yet, haha.

 

[ButImLETired]

*smack*!


Get a hold of yourself. This is REALITY, not dreamworld. Med school is med school. You're gonna learn the same stuff, hang out with some people you love and some people you can't stand, take the same annoying classes and meet the same "hey, this guy is one of the best in his field!" people. You'll have a bar you love to hang out in with your friends and you'll think other places are lame. This is true of EVERYWHERE. You'll get research experience, and you'll match into a residency, and you'll be fine. And you'll want to smack yourself silly in 4 years (hell maybe in 1) for whining about how your first choice school didn't heart you enough.

Get over it. You're supposed to be an adult. Adults occasionally have to deal with their second choice and not cry about it. Seriously, I understand that it sucks, but you have no excuse for not TRYING to get excited about the school you've gotten into.

 

[JonathanMD]

I'm sorry, which schools are you talking about?

I don't think you've answered this question yet.

😕

 

[DrJD]

*smack*!

Your whole response was great, but I especially liked this part 🙂

The imagery was perfect, because if one of my friends in real life said the what the OP said, I would literally *smack* them, haha

👍 Good post!

 

[drcarter77]

You should never fall in love with a particular school. You are obviously lovestruck.

says who? I'm sort of in a similar situation. I'm in and planning on going to Georgetown, but I'm waitlisted at Cornell, which I liked better than any med school i could have imagined. I'm sure I'll end up being fine at Georgetown and enjoy killing myself studying for the next four years as much as anyone can, but I understand what the OP is saying about really liking one school, and everything else, even though they are perfectly legitimate alternative routes to the MD are simply not as exciting after you really found something that was your favorite.

 

[pietachok]

I can't really give advice directly about being in the OP's shoes, but I can share an experience that might be somehow helpful:

When I was applying to college, I had my heart set on Brown. I applied early, and I got in. I was thrilled. I felt like a perfect fit for a variety of reasons. Its reputation makes people assume you should love being there, too. Well...years after graduating, the best thing I can say about my years there were that I may have been unhappier somewhere else. There were a lot of factors that contributed to this...but the point is that when you're on the outside of a school, you just don't know what it's actually going to be like for you. By the time I was a junior, I realized that at the time I was applying to schools, I had made a lot of incorrect assumptions about what I would actually find valuable or appreciate in my college. I believe there were a lot of places where I could have been happier, but I just never thought it was possible. In part I think the error was b/c one can't know what school will be like and in part b/c you can't necessarily anticipate how you will grow/change.

I don't mean for this to just be pessimistic, rather I want to propose that maybe there's something to be said for the fact that you could basically be "lusting" after one school b/c you only *think* you have reasons to "love" it. Maybe I'm totally wrong and med school is so different this isn't applicable.

I would force yourself to make a list of all the great offerings of the school where you've been accepted (maybe you'll have to dig online and you'll find more great stuff). And then I would make a list of all the things you think make it inferior...but then address for each one, whether or not you may be making an incorrect assumption. Hopefully these two things can help you feel more excited about this school by compelling you to acknowledge its strengths and your irrational biases.

And please don't forget how incredibly standardized med school is in the U.S.!

 

[MadEvans]

👍 Good post!

Agreed. I was about to write something, but then I saw LET's brilliant post. No point in trying to compare to it.

Quoted again, to give credit where credit is due...

*smack*!


Get a hold of yourself. This is REALITY, not dreamworld. Med school is med school. You're gonna learn the same stuff, hang out with some people you love and some people you can't stand, take the same annoying classes and meet the same "hey, this guy is one of the best in his field!" people. You'll have a bar you love to hang out in with your friends and you'll think other places are lame. This is true of EVERYWHERE. You'll get research experience, and you'll match into a residency, and you'll be fine. And you'll want to smack yourself silly in 4 years (hell maybe in 1) for whining about how your first choice school didn't heart you enough.

Get over it. You're supposed to be an adult. Adults occasionally have to deal with their second choice and not cry about it. Seriously, I understand that it sucks, but you have no excuse for not TRYING to get excited about the school you've gotten into.