This is a time of the year where all of us pre-med need to lighten up. So read the following, it is just pure genius. I'm sure most of you have seen it before:
Too funny.......
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet. This is, of course,
why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as
well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools
when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that
exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member
of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates
as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states
that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the
volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two
possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell,
then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks
loose.
2. If H ell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and
thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that
it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct ... leaving only Heaven
and thereby proving the existence of a divine being - which explains why last night
Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY A+
Thank You,
J. Patrick Tinker
Too funny.......
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet. This is, of course,
why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as
well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools
when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that
exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member
of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates
as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states
that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the
volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two
possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell,
then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks
loose.
2. If H ell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and
thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that
it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct ... leaving only Heaven
and thereby proving the existence of a divine being - which explains why last night
Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY A+
Thank You,
J. Patrick Tinker
