Best time for a resident/fellow to ask out a med student.

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As a med student, would you prefer if the resident/fellow you fancy ask you out:

  • Before the rotation ends

    Votes: 12 8.6%

  • After the rotation ends but before you receive your grades

    Votes: 13 9.4%

  • After you receive your grades

    Votes: 114 82.0%
  • Total voters
    139
What do you mean by best?

If you mean practically(aka most pressure and least risk), then I would go with after you have SUBMITTED your eval, but before she has actually received marks for the class. that way, she would feel more obligated to go out with you (as she wouldn't know that you already submitted your grade and thinks it could effect it), and you would have plausible deniability. If she decides to make a stink about it, you can say that you already submitted your evals and that you weren't technicality her superior anymore.
 
OrthoTraumaMD said:
Never.
Not in this day and age where the discrepancy in power can get you in a lot of trouble. I would stay away from people at work. Alternatively, when that med student graduates or moves on to another hospital and doesn't rotate anywhere near you again.
Click to expand...

Some of them are cute though
 
Just don't do it. Not worth the risk to your reputation (or your job).

On a similar note, there's a resident at my institution who began dating a junior resident. People talked. Then, he dropped her for a med student. Now the resident (about to be attending) and med student are engaged. I can't look at him the same way again. There are plenty of women/men in the world. Don't sleep where you eat.
 
Mass Effect said:
Just don't do it. Not worth the risk to your reputation (or your job).

On a similar note, there's a resident at my institution who began dating a junior resident. People talked. Then, he dropped her for a med student. Now the resident (about to be attending) and med student are engaged. I can't look at him the same way again. There are plenty of women/men in the world. Don't sleep where you eat.
Click to expand...

How is it your business who they're dating?
 
I wouldn't do it. You are asking for trouble, especially if it doesn't work out or if others find out about it.
 
Psai said:
How is it your business who they're dating?
Click to expand...

We form impressions of people and impressions are based on actions. I have every right to form an impression of you based on what you tell me and choose to brag about, especially when it affects the service.

VincentAdultman said:
That's....not the expression.
Click to expand...

LOLOL sorry, I posted that in a hurry and wasn't thinking. Swap sleep with ****.
 
Mass Effect said:
We form impressions of people and impressions are based on actions. I have every right to form an impression of you based on what you tell me and choose to brag about, especially when it affects the service.



LOLOL sorry, I posted that in a hurry and wasn't thinking. Swap sleep with ****.
Click to expand...

Your post doesnt mention anything about bragging or it affecting the service bruh
 
Mass Effect said:
A senior resident dates a junior resident on the service, drops her for the MS3 on service and you don't think it affects the interpersonal relationships on service unless explicitly said so?
Click to expand...

Original post says nothing about being on the same service. We're not exactly up to date on the details of your institution's interpersonal relationships. Anyway, sounds like the junior needs to get over it.
 
Not sure my opinion would change even if junior and the M 3 weren't on the same service. The senior is still on service with one or the other. Too much hospital drama, at least at my institution, from all romantic hookups. Usually, I don't care, but if you're on service with those junior to you, those you're supervising or evaluating, and you're hitting on them, you're taking a huge risk with your job and your reputation. THAT was my point.
 
Mass Effect said:
A senior resident dates a junior resident on the service, drops her for the MS3 on service and you don't think it affects the interpersonal relationships on service unless explicitly said so?
Click to expand...
The heart wants what it wants.
 
Mass Effect said:
Just don't do it. Not worth the risk to your reputation (or your job).

On a similar note, there's a resident at my institution who began dating a junior resident. People talked. Then, he dropped her for a med student. Now the resident (about to be attending) and med student are engaged. I can't look at him the same way again. There are plenty of women/men in the world. Don't sleep where you eat.
Click to expand...

Get over it, junior resident.
 
Hilariously sad. The guy in question is junior to ME. Wish I could say nice try...but I can't.
 
Mass Effect said:
Not sure my opinion would change even if junior and the M 3 weren't on the same service. The senior is still on service with one or the other. Too much hospital drama, at least at my institution, from all romantic hookups. Usually, I don't care, but if you're on service with those junior to you, those you're supervising or evaluating, and you're hitting on them, you're taking a huge risk with your job and your reputation. THAT was my point.
Click to expand...

Yeahhhhhhhhh I'd stop being so judgemental if I were you.

OrthoTraumaMD said:
Never.
Not in this day and age where the discrepancy in power can get you in a lot of trouble. I would stay away from people at work. Alternatively, when that med student graduates or moves on to another hospital and doesn't rotate anywhere near you again.
Click to expand...

This is probably the best answer.

Psai said:
Some of them are cute though
Click to expand...

This is also true.
 
Mass Effect said:
Just don't do it. Not worth the risk to your reputation (or your job).

On a similar note, there's a resident at my institution who began dating a junior resident. People talked. Then, he dropped her for a med student. Now the resident (about to be attending) and med student are engaged. I can't look at him the same way again. There are plenty of women/men in the world. Don't sleep where you eat.
Click to expand...
People like you are probably the ones who make the service have tension. :shrug:
 
OrthoTraumaMD said:
Never.
Not in this day and age where the discrepancy in power can get you in a lot of trouble. I would stay away from people at work. Alternatively, when that med student graduates or moves on to another hospital and doesn't rotate anywhere near you again.
Click to expand...
agree wholeheartedly
these are strange times we live in (see #metoo). why throw a monkey wrench into your training?
 
My school's handbook says it is okay as long as the people dating are not in a position of direct/ancillary power over the other person.

Will it be uncomfortable? Maybe if you get blown off. But so what? Life is uncomfortable and risk is uncomfortable.

If you want it go for it as long as your employee/trainee handbook says it is okay.


EDIT::: Just to be clear, my suggestion is for AFTER grades have come through. My ethics would say there could not be any power or IMPLIED power over the other person for this to be an okay situation.
 
jw3600 said:
People like you are probably the ones who make the service have tension. :shrug:
Click to expand...

LOL yeah that's it, I'm sure. Those who watch on the sidelines are the ones to blame for people who **** up their own relationships by dating those they're supposed to be supervising.
 
Mass Effect said:
LOL yeah that's it, I'm sure. Those who watch on the sidelines are the ones to blame for people who **** up their own relationships by dating those they're supposed to be supervising.
Click to expand...

I am not going to endorse dating someone you’re supervising, but how is it any of your concern when another adult chooses to ****up their own personal relationships?
 
After the resident/fellow is terminated for misconduct for some other reason...then it's a green light!
 
Mass Effect said:
LOL yeah that's it, I'm sure. Those who watch on the sidelines are the ones to blame for people who **** up their own relationships by dating those they're supposed to be supervising.
Click to expand...
I dunno man/girl. Just because you can’t get any doesn’t mean it’s ok for you to judge others for shopping the market. I’d rather have a co-resident dating a med student than some uptight pain in the ass who’s judging every social interaction people do. Have fun being a wet blanket.
 
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SunsFun said:
I am not going to endorse dating someone you’re supervising, but how is it any of your concern when another adult chooses to ****up their own personal relationships?
Click to expand...

You make it the business of everyone on service when you (a) brag about it and (b) let it affect the service, which he did in both cases. This also isn't a new thing. He did the same last year with a sub-I he was supervising. Also, welcome to the world. People form opinions. They judge. Just because you're allowed to do what you want doesn't mean others don't have the right to form their own opinions of it. It's human nature. Welcome to life.

jw3600 said:
I dunno man/girl. Just because you can’t get any doesn’t mean it’s ok for you to judge others for shopping the market. I’d rather have a co-resident dating a med student than some uptight pain in the ass who’s judging every social interaction people do. Have fun being a wet blanket.
Click to expand...

To each their own. You'd prefer playboys with questionable ethics while I'd prefer to work with people who actually have a moral compass. I would never bed someone I'm supervising or evaluating. If that makes me a "wet blanket," so be it. As for it being "okay" to judge others, give me a break. EVERYONE judges. We just judge different things. Perfect example -- you're judging me for judging this guy. When you do something that affects others expect others to judge you. It's naive to think otherwise.
 
My BF is a fellow....we met via Tinder even before school started so I guess it's a different scenario. What's gonna be weird though is I might see him next year on my rotations...
 
Mass Effect said:
You make it the business of everyone on service when you (a) brag about it and (b) let it affect the service, which he did in both cases. This also isn't a new thing. He did the same last year with a sub-I he was supervising. Also, welcome to the world. People form opinions. They judge. Just because you're allowed to do what you want doesn't mean others don't have the right to form their own opinions of it. It's human nature. Welcome to life.



To each their own. You'd prefer playboys with questionable ethics while I'd prefer to work with people who actually have a moral compass. I would never bed someone I'm supervising or evaluating. If that makes me a "wet blanket," so be it. As for it being "okay" to judge others, give me a break. EVERYONE judges. We just judge different things. Perfect example -- you're judging me for judging this guy. When you do something that affects others expect others to judge you. It's naive to think otherwise.
Click to expand...
I mean this is clearly a case of just different view points. I don’t think anyone’s moral compass is compromised because of who they date, consent assumed of course. We really can’t continue this conversation when we cannot agree on that initial point of ethics.
 
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Mass Effect said:
Just don't do it. Not worth the risk to your reputation (or your job).

On a similar note, there's a resident at my institution who began dating a junior resident. People talked. Then, he dropped her for a med student. Now the resident (about to be attending) and med student are engaged. I can't look at him the same way again. There are plenty of women/men in the world. Don't sleep where you eat.
Click to expand...

I understand these situations can get pretty sticky but I think it's a little unreasonable to expect people not to date others at work. In general it's a fairly common thing for people to meet, date, sometimes marry someone they've met at their job and working in a hospital shouldn't be any different. Now, with that said, there are always exceptions and a good rule would probably be to avoid dating someone who is directly above/below you in power structure but it's silly to think that literally everyone in the whole hospital is off limits from literally everyone else in the whole hospital. Damn, y'all spend enough time there it can be hard to meet people elsewhere! Maybe just avoid dating someone from your residency class/program/specialty?
 
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