Best year to date in med school

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ABaverage

ABaverage

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Which year is the best time to date during med school? Being a person that can't really focus on more than one important thing (which would be school obviously) when would I find the time to actually date? I realize that being in a relationship will take a lot of work and time.. work and time that I don't know how to find.

MS1- Adjusting
MS2- Boards
MS3-MS4- Rotations

After this is residency. Would this be a better time?
 
Last edited:
I would date all 4 years. It is a part of life that should not be sacrificed for school.
 
When you find someone you want to date.
 
There is no best year to date.

Youre gonna either gonna have to learn to balance the work and a life or get used to being really lonely.

If you start dating someone in your class it will probably be easier, because they will know the time constraints and you can study with them.
 
You shouldn't put your life on hold because of school. It's not like it gets easier with life after school.
 
ABaverage said:
Which year is the best time to date during med school? Being a person that can't really focus on more than one important thing (which would be school obviously) when would I find the time to actually date? I realize that being in a relationship will take a lot of work and time.. work and time that I don't know how to find.

MS1- Adjusting
MS2- Boards
MS3-MS4- Rotations

After this is residency. Would this be a better time?
Click to expand...

I found M2 to the best time to start. During M1 I was in a new city and I just wanted to party with my free time. The 1st half of M2 isn't terrible time wise and I started dating seriously then. It has been a strong positive to have a companion during Step studying and rotations - keeps me balanced and grounded. I will say she is a MS2(I'm a MS3) so she is understanding of the time commitment.
 
Thanks for the replies. I know that it is important to still live a life outside of school, but to many it is so absorbing.

Let me rephrase the question...

If you could only choose one year to start dating, which year would it be? It seems that there are always critical times with every year.
 
ABaverage said:
Thanks for the replies. I know that it is important to still live a life outside of school, but to many it is so absorbing.

Let me rephrase the question...

If you could only choose one year to start dating, which year would it be? It seems that there are always critical times with every year.
Click to expand...

Start dating whenever you find someone you want to date. There is no special dating time set aside for you to focus on your personal life, you need to learn to manage your time so that you can have a life while attending med school and beyond.
 
4th year is the probably the best year to start dating. Its nice that you have a good excuse for breaking up with them (move away for residency.)
 
It's funny you have this sort of "on/off" switch for dating. You just decide, "OK, this year I'm gonna date" and then what? You lower your standards? Flirt more? Dress different?

The hyperanalytical med student trait is strong here.
 
yeah it's not really an on/off switch here, the time will come when it comes
 
ABaverage said:
Thanks for the replies. I know that it is important to still live a life outside of school, but to many it is so absorbing.

Let me rephrase the question...

If you could only choose one year to start dating, which year would it be? It seems that there are always critical times with every year.
Click to expand...

As others have said, you'll start dating when you start.

If you want to know the difficulty/time commitment of med school in order it would be MS4<MS1<MS2<MS3.

However, no matter when you start dating it will always be difficult.

Its only going to get harder when you're in residency working 60-80 hrs/week before you even start studying.

You need to start learning to balance life and work now, no matter how absorbing you find school. The rest of your life is going to be as hard as if not harder than your first year of medical school.
 
ABaverage said:
Which year is the best time to date during med school? Being a person that can't really focus on more than one important thing (which would be school obviously) when would I find the time to actually date? I realize that being in a relationship will take a lot of work and time.. work and time that I don't know how to find.

MS1- Adjusting
MS2- Boards
MS3-MS4- Rotations

After this is residency. Would this be a better time?
Click to expand...

This has got to be a joke. If not, it is very, very sad.
 
Dependent on your school and situation.

First year wasn't an adjustment to the city for me. I was just doing crappy. I went on dates but nothing worked out.

Second year hasn't been too kind in the dating scene for two reasons. One is that I really haven't found anyone who I've been stoked enough to give up study time to hang with. Also, it is hard to get excited since we go to regional campuses and I know I'd be an absolute minimum of 2 hours away during third year and would peak at who knows what. I know that isn't much, but I avoid long distance like the plague and know that I wouldn't be able to establish a solid enough relationship with someone in that timespan to really make long distance worthwhile.

MS3..maybe? I'm not going to be in a town known for single ladies, so I wouldn't put my money on it.

MS4...sounds ok for dating but I also know that I will be applying in a ton of places for residency. It is hard to find a person willing to move to a random city with you.
 
ABaverage said:
Thanks for the replies. I know that it is important to still live a life outside of school, but to many it is so absorbing.

Let me rephrase the question...

If you could only choose one year to start dating, which year would it be? It seems that there are always critical times with every year.
Click to expand...

If you don't let yourself have any kind of life outside of school and postpone dating and other extracurricular activities, you're going to be one burned out, unhappy resident.
 
Speaking of dating, here's another question. What's the dating solution for the following unique situation:

- I'm nontraditional (37 yo male)
- I'm divorced (as in, happened while I was in school, classmates are aware)

Background:
Before I got married, I had a lucrative career in a big city and did very well on the dating scene, and I thought if anything my "powers" would increase once I started med school. Like some men whose postings I've read on various forums, now that I'm back on the market, it seems the opposite has happened.

As for the women in my class: really nice, attractive, and not crazy, but have never shown any interest; due to my age probably? (Rational choice. Why date the 37 year old future radiologist when you can date the 24 year old future radiologist?) As for undergrads: loaded with attractive girls, but to be honest I haven't put in any effort there. If my age makes me an oddity to the women in my class, I can't imagine that undergrads several years younger would react more positively. What about nurses? Bars far from campus where people are more easily impressed? Grad school social functions? Clubs? Never-married female attendings closer to my age?

Any suggestions appreciated, including smartass ones, as long as they're funny.
 
Marcus Brody said:
It's funny you have this sort of "on/off" switch for dating. You just decide, "OK, this year I'm gonna date" and then what? You lower your standards? Flirt more? Dress different?

The hyperanalytical med student trait is strong here.
Click to expand...

Not really an on/off switch but I consciously knew that I didn't want to get into a relationship 1st year so I made it clear that I wasn't looking for anything serious as not to lead women on. Some were ok with it, some weren't. 2nd year I went in with an open mind but not actively looking for a relationship. Ended up meeting someone relatively early 2nd year.

1st year I knew I wanted to enjoy moving to a new fun city and that I didn't want to be tied down. I also got out of a serious relationship a few months before leaving so that obviously played a role

Just to be clarify when I say date I mean monogamously with the intention of moving forward into something more serious. I am in no way suggesting that there should be a period of med school where one is celibate and ignoring the opposite sex
 
2012mdc said:
Not really an on/off switch but I consciously knew that I didn't want to get into a relationship 1st year so I made it clear that I wasn't looking for anything serious as not to lead women on. Some were ok with it, some weren't. 2nd year I went in with an open mind but not actively looking for a relationship. Ended up meeting someone relatively early 2nd year.

1st year I knew I wanted to enjoy moving to a new fun city and that I didn't want to be tied down. I also got out of a serious relationship a few months before leaving so that obviously played a role

Just to be clarify when I say date I mean monogamously with the intention of moving forward into something more serious. I am in no way suggesting that there should be a period of med school where one is celibate and ignoring the opposite sex
Click to expand...

Perfect. This is what I was referring to.

How is the relationship treating you in second year? Will boards be effecting your relationship? Also, is your female friend also a fellow med student?
 
Trying to get with someone that is 13 years younger than you would be a challenge, yes.. but some women will appreciate your maturity and experience. I have a friend, 28, in professional school dating a significantly older (late 30's, early 40's) MD. But then again.. he graduated a while ago.

Maybe go for a resident? 😀


xag said:
Speaking of dating, here's another question. What's the dating solution for the following unique situation:

- I'm nontraditional (37 yo male)
- I'm divorced (as in, happened while I was in school, classmates are aware)

Background:
Before I got married, I had a lucrative career in a big city and did very well on the dating scene, and I thought if anything my "powers" would increase once I started med school. Like some men whose postings I've read on various forums, now that I'm back on the market, it seems the opposite has happened.

As for the women in my class: really nice, attractive, and not crazy, but have never shown any interest; due to my age probably? (Rational choice. Why date the 37 year old future radiologist when you can date the 24 year old future radiologist?) As for undergrads: loaded with attractive girls, but to be honest I haven't put in any effort there. If my age makes me an oddity to the women in my class, I can't imagine that undergrads several years younger would react more positively. What about nurses? Bars far from campus where people are more easily impressed? Grad school social functions? Clubs? Never-married female attendings closer to my age?

Any suggestions appreciated, including smartass ones, as long as they're funny.
Click to expand...
 
ABaverage said:
Perfect. This is what I was referring to.

How is the relationship treating you in second year? Will boards be effecting your relationship? Also, is your female friend also a fellow med student?
Click to expand...

I'm actually a MS3 but the relationship was fine 2nd year. Didn't negatively affect my grades in any way. There was an adjustment period after I transitioned into really studying hard for Step 1 but we both got used to it. She's a fellow med student but a year behind (I wouldn't recommend dating anyone in your class).

Beneficial things that came out of it were I ended up going out less and she made life easier during Step 1 studying - cooking for me at times, support on those rough days, hanging out when I was taking a break etc.
 
2012mdc said:
I'm actually a MS3 but the relationship was fine 2nd year. Didn't negatively affect my grades in any way. There was an adjustment period after I transitioned into really studying hard for Step 1 but we both got used to it. She's a fellow med student but a year behind (I wouldn't recommend dating anyone in your class).

Beneficial things that came out of it were I ended up going out less and she made life easier during Step 1 studying - cooking for me at times, support on those rough days, hanging out when I was taking a break etc.
Click to expand...

Is it much easier for the both of you post Step I?
 
ABaverage said:
Is it much easier for the both of you post Step I?
Click to expand...

On Surgery it wasn't (I expect the same for OB). On FM and IM it was much easier and I expect the same for peds and psych
 
Marcus Brody said:
It's funny you have this sort of "on/off" switch for dating. You just decide, "OK, this year I'm gonna date" and then what? You lower your standards? Flirt more? Dress different?

The hyperanalytical med student trait is strong here.
Click to expand...

Actually, I do have a bit of an on/off switch. From about beginning of November till February 14th I shut down for the season unless there is something already established. It avoids all those debates about attending family events, what to get her for the holidays, Valentines day crap, etc.

Dating season begins again after Valentines Day.

Keep in mind, this does not mean cutting off all interactions with the fairer sex. I just don't do official dating. Just a recharge your batteries and get back in shape for the next season to begin.
 
ABaverage said:
Which year is the best time to date during med school? Being a person that can't really focus on more than one important thing (which would be school obviously) when would I find the time to actually date? I realize that being in a relationship will take a lot of work and time.. work and time that I don't know how to find.

MS1- Adjusting
MS2- Boards
MS3-MS4- Rotations

After this is residency. Would this be a better time?
Click to expand...

There is no good time with the possible exception of fourth year, and even then there are obstacles-- interviewing, applications, audition rotations, and finally, if you were to start something serious, there is the match and the possibility of a move to somewhere far, far away. Frankly, matching is easier without having to take someone else that you care deeply about into consideration. I realize this sounds terrible.

I'm only an MS4, but I'm going to take a leap of faith here and state that there is no way in hell that dating in residency is going to be easier; if anything it is going to be much, much harder. Your workload has suddenly increased exponentially, and the expectations increase.

So you just have to go for it with the realization that a "good time" for dating just doesn't exist. You learn to budget your time so that you take care of yourself because if you don't, you end up miserable and alone. There is definitely time for a personal life in med school, and I think that there is time for one in residency, but you have to prioritize it.
 
If you have to schedule in dating time, you probably shouldnt date at all.
 
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