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coprolalia

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Okay, I don't actually blog myself. I use SDN as my primary bitchpost. But, those of you who write about junk and stuff and whatnot, why not post your bloglinks here?

Come on, I dare ya.

-copro

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Here's one by an anesthesiologist (recent residency grad, I think) that I don't remember to read often enough. Not sure if she posts on here or not...

Here's a post I liked:

Friday, June 13, 2008


five really satisfying things in anesthesia


1.) Putting gigantic IVs in people with huge veins.

2.) That pop as you shove the central line dilator through the platysmus.

3.) Timing your wake-up just right so that you're extubating an awake, calm, pain-free patient right as the case is finishing up. Then watching the surgeons startle and do a double-take when the drapes come down and the patient asks, "So, how did it go?"

4.) When you're doing an epidural, that crunchy feeling of passing through the ligamentum flavum right before you get a nice, crisp loss of resistance.

5.) When people actually call me "Michelle" instead of "Anesthesia." (For example, "Anesthesia has the chart." "Anesthesia, hold ventilations." "We need an 18 gauge angiocath. See if we can get one from Anesthesia.")





I am a simple woman with simple pleasures.
 
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since we're posting excerpt from out favorite anesthesia blogs (rather than confessing to our own), I thought I'd add a couple from a guy who's apparently on his OB rotation:

Looked up in wonder at the same moon

I'm spending a lot of time down in the labor and delivery unit, and for some reason, laboring women provide a lot of blog fodder. Maybe it's all the vagina talk (the patients usually call it "booty"), the oddball-deadbeat baby-daddies (the patients have started calling them their "boo"), or the fact then when they're ready to deliver, they all seem to feel the urge to "make" (or, as the patients say, "go boo boo").

Now, let's not get caught up in how ridiculous it is for a grown woman to scream out "I gotta make boo boo!" instead of, perhaps, a more technical phrasing. But, to be fair, many of these "grown women" are only 17. I want to focus more on how all the words surrounding the birthing experience can be distilled down to one or two syllables.

Her: Why does my booty hurt? I don't want my boo in here if I'm gonna boo boo all over the place!

Me: Boooooooo!!!

And let me point out that, somehow, all these women who have never met ALL seem to have picked up on this new slang. I remember growing up learning how to "gleek," doing that little spit thing from under your tongue, and being just floored when I met someone who grew up half-way across the country and ALSO knew what gleeking was. How? I greet this linguistic drift with similar fascination. Aside from TV and film, how does slang get transmitted? And it's not like people are making TV shows and movies about black people pooping, are they? It's one for the ages, I guess.

And you can't spend a month on labor and delivery without a couple stories about some 16 year-old girl in pre-term labor with a 24 week-er (just barely at the age of viability and virtually guaranteed to be born with lung and brain disorders that will lead to lifelong functional deficits costing millions from birth to death) who wants "everything done." It seems to be an American ideal to throw good sense (and good money) away in pursuit of a nearly impossible goal when the consequences are borne by others. I mean, it's not like she's gonna have to shell out for all the ICU care, surgeries, and rehab this kid's gonna need.

I took a brief look at the journal that I kept when I was around 16 and I'm embarrassed to say that at that age, I was day-dreaming about chicks I thought were "groovy" and looking up dirty words in Spanish. Anyway, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised that maybe the average 16 year-old who grew up in the ghetto doesn't have a really sophisticated perspective on the future.

I want to be the girl with the most cake

Look, if you're 550 pounds, there are certain things that maybe you just aren't allowed to do. Like walk. Unfortunately, getting laid and impregnanted with twins isn't one of them. I don't know if I've every seen someone so large. She just took up the whole bed, basically spilling over the edges. And she laid there, beached, in a way, unable to move, to speak, to participate in human life in any way. She would later prove more articulate when she cogently expressed, "the pain, it's in my vagina and rectum." To which I responded, "You mean your booty?"

Kidding.

Anyway, she was, literally, three of me and was somehow impregnated by a guy who was, literally, one of me (no, it wasn't ACTUALLY me). I guess only someone lean could fit in between those tree-trunk thighs. Still, you'd think a lean guy could score a thinner chick, but I guess in the African-American community, there's some cache to dating the bigger girls. Still, I bet if you grabbed any one of these little skinny dudes that had knocked up one of the gorillas, and said, "Dude, seriously, none of your cousins will have to know, wouldn't you rather hit something a little more, uh, hot?" they'd come clean in a torrent of sobs about how they'd wasted the best years of their lives.

But there we were, 30 hours into labor and things weren't looking so hot. She ultimately required a c-section, and if you think placing her epidural through nine inches of back "skin" was hard (it was), you can bet that cutting a pair of twins out of at least 3 times that much belly was no picnic (it wasn't).

In the end, she actually did okay, although her incision ended up in one of the valleys of her largesse, and so I suspect she'll be back for a re-op of her soon-to-be-infected wound. And how she'll be able to care for those kids is a bit of a mystery. Even now, in the early stages, walking to the crib and bending over to pick them up will be hard enough; just wait until she has to chase them around the neighborhood. Or when they become teenager girls, will she have what it takes to ward off the skinny boys chasing after them?
 
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And yet another . . .



For eight years, Arnold Kim has been trading gossip, rumor and facts about Apple, the notoriously secretive computer company, on his Web site, MacRumors.com.

Blogging has become lucrative, so Dr. Kim is switching careers.

It had been a hobby —— albeit a time-consuming one —— while Dr. Kim earned his medical degree. He kept at it as he completed his medical training and began diagnosing patients’’ kidney problems. Dr. Kim’’s Web site now attracts more than 4.4 million people and 40 million page views a month, according to Quantcast, making it one of the most popular technology Web sites.
It is enough to make Dr. Kim hang up his stethoscope. This month he stopped practicing medicine and started blogging full time.
""In some ways I’’ve neglected the site for so long,"" he said in a telephone interview. ""Now that I actually have a chance to work on it full time, there’’s a good chance it can grow more.""
Dr. Kim epitomizes the home-grown publishers whose wealth has been enabled by the Internet. Although few of the millions of blogs ever make their creators rich, the ones that do provide all the incentive necessary to fuel the medium.
A question Dr. Kim often fields from friends and associates is, ""How does that make money?"" He answered the question in an entry on his personal blog last month. It can all be ""boiled down to one simple accomplishment: building traffic,"" he wrote. ""That’’s it. If you have a site that attracts a lot of visitors, you will be able to make money. On the Internet, traffic equals power, which subsequently equals money.""
When Dr. Kim, who lives just outside Richmond, Va., began blogging about Apple in 2000, the word blog had not entered the lexicon. Creating anything beyond a bare-bones Web site required programming skills and tech knowledge. Dr. Kim, a computer science major at Columbia University, had the know-how. He also knew that almost everyone enjoys an advance look at future products.
He envisioned MacRumors as an aggregator of all the rumors and hints that appeared on message boards and other Web sites. ""The rumor reports have probably been more right than wrong over the years,"" he said.
Given Apple’’s penchant for secrecy, the company inspires a lot of speculation in the technology industry. Apple enthusiasts dissect every product rumor the way political pundits do political sound bites.
As one of the original Web sites about Apple, MacRumors was well positioned to become a destination for users and a clearinghouse for gossip. MacRumors ""knows more about Apple than Apple management does,"" the blog 24/7 Wall St. declared last spring.
The site placed MacRumors No. 2 on a list of the ""25 most valuable blogs,"" right behind Gawker Media and ahead of The Huffington Post, PerezHilton.com, and TechCrunch. Two of the other tech-oriented blogs on its list, Ars Technica and PaidContent, were sold earlier this year, reportedly for sums in excess of $25 million.
Ars Technica reaches an estimated three million people a month, according to Quantcast. PaidContent and its three associated blogs reach about half a million people, but earn additional revenue through conferences and seminars. Since MacRumors attracts a far larger audience, those valuations would suggest Dr. Kim has created a very valuable piece of Web real estate.
Dr. Kim is not a millionaire blogger yet, and given the slumping online advertising market, he faces some hurdles as he expands the site. But he has reason to be optimistic.
Stepping away from medicine felt somewhat strange, he admits. Dr. Kim was bringing home a six-
figure income as a doctor, but he recognized that blogging was becoming more lucrative. He says the site also yields a six-figure income for him.
About three years ago, through a combination of Google text advertising, banner ads and commissions on product sales, MacRumors started turning a substantial profit. While Apple is obviously not an advertiser, other technology-oriented companies are, including Verizon, the online audio-book store Audible.com and the information technology products company CDW.
Still, he hesitated to make it a full-time job because he enjoyed medicine —— and he had invested almost $200,000 in his education. But he finally concluded that ""on paper, it was an easy decision."" He also had a practical reason for wanting the ability to work from home. Her name is Penelope, and she is 14 months old.
When he told his father, also a doctor, about the decision, Dr. Kim was pleased that ""he was very supportive of it, which was sort of surprising to me.""
For Dr. Kim, figuring out which rumors are real and which are mere dreams is the fun part.
""It is sort of a gut feeling,"" he acknowledged, adding that most of the images of future Apple products that circulate on message boards are fakes. Sometimes he will post suspicious images with a caveat about their authenticity.
On one memorable occasion, he said, Apple accidentally raised the curtain on a new Mac on its Web site a week ahead of the official announcement, leading to a free-for-all on MacRumors’’ message boards and some urgent phone calls from the company.
Dr. Kim has worked in relative anonymity. For many years, readers knew him only by his user name, ""arn."" (""If I really wanted to hide, I could have done a better job,"" he said. He eventually added his full name so he could receive media credentials for conferences.)
Dr. Kim is branching out beyond MacRumors. He helps run a spinoff Web site, Touch Arcade, that tracks the new games available for the iPhone and iPod Touch. But he is remaining coy about his other expansion plans. Apple, it seems, is not the only company trying to keep secrets.
 
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