The worst that can happen????
I didn't take any $hit my entire four years of residency.
I chewed out a srub tech one time that told me I was getting too close to the field. I dressed-down a nurse in the ICU, deservedly so, and I made another one cry when she almost killed a patient during a planned extubation. I yelled at a surgeon my intern year. I frequently argued vociferously with who I perceived to be "idiot" anesthesia attendings when they suggested something I thought was not the best clinical course of action. I regularly spoke my opinion loudly and freely.
The result?
I made a lot of friends. I made a lot of enemies. Admired by some, hated by others. There are people who, in the past couple of weeks, have asked me where I'm going, what I'm doing, what's next... etc. There are people who still won't look me in the eye, let alone say "hi", when I pass them in the hallway for something that happened three years ago.
What's the worst that can happen?
I pretty much burned a bridge because I will never be invited back to attend at my current institution. Do I care? Not really. However, people have impressions of you, whether they reflect the actual "you" you are. I'm respected because I do good work. I'm feared, in some instances, because I can be unpredictable in my mood. I don't know if this is a good thing, because I may not always be right or have the right information... and someone may fear speaking up lest I unleash on them.
I hate, a lot of the time, what happens in the hospital. But, this is the profession I've chosen. People are petty. They see this, a lot of the time, as only a "job"... a place to punch the clock then go home. Yet, I see some people who "care too much" and they irritate me as well. And, I know I can be this way sometimes. And, I know I've pissed some people off because of my appearing to think I "knew better" in certain situations... even if I really did know better.
That's what I've learned.
Be reasonable. Ignore stupidity. Do what's right. You don't have to uncork on someone who's probably just trying to bait you. Take a deep breath. Do what you would do anyway. If you bark back, or try to retaliate, you're going to probably only escalate something you will later wished you'd just walked away from.
Apologize, even if later and even if you weren't 100% at fault, when there is a wrong done. It's amazing what this can accomplish. How you will be remembered is mostly a nebulous, fuzzy, not-necessarily-true accumulation of impressions you have left. And, you don't want that to be someone that others fear or want to avoid. You don't want that to be "Oh, copro? Yeah, I remember him... man, that dude was angry all the time" whether you actually were or not.
People have long memories. This is a small industry. Observe and learn to emulate those who keep their cool. It may seem like they are "weak" or spineless at the time. But, later you'll understand that their demeanor probably actually belies someone who is just confident and above the pettiness.
It's hard, being a resident, to take $hit from people sometimes. Been there, done that. And, as a resident, your right to bitch is one of the few things you have. But, as I move on to being an attending, I've figured out that this is not going to get me very far in life. And, I just hope that I never have to rely on some of those people I've deeply offended over the past few years going to bat for me. I have tail coverage leaving my institution. I hope I don't need it. And, I hope that some of those people, clearly whom I've outgrown both in knowledge and skill who "taught" me over the past few years, don't ever have to sit in court and tell a jury their version of me... what I did or didn't do in a particular situation and how I handled myself.
Remember that.
-copro
