Breaking up before step or after

Burrell College of Osteopathic Medicine
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madamebovary

madamebovary

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We have about month and half before each of us take the exam. We both know that we will have to break up but she wants us to stay together for this critical period so less stress on the situation.
 
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To make a huge generalization, a woman's generally in the relationship for affection.Sounds like you two breaking up will be traumatic for her and she wants to avoid that. What about you though? If you know it's gonna hurt you badly, I agree with her. Sweep it under the rug until after the exam and don't comtact her much. If it doesn't though, I highly recommend you two get lunch soon where you can officially and nicely break up. Be firm, cut ties, and get back to studying!
 
Backtothebasics8 said:
To make a huge generalization, a woman's generally in the relationship for affection.Sounds like you two breaking up will be traumatic for her and she wants to avoid that. What about you though? If you know it's gonna hurt you badly, I agree with her. Sweep it under the rug until after the exam and don't comtact her much. If it doesn't though, I highly recommend you two get lunch soon where you can officially and nicely break up. Be firm, cut ties, and get back to studying!
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I think i know it will hurt me badly too; im not sure if it will hurt worse waiting though but im hoping sweeping under the rug too has allowed me to just keep studying and one less thing to think about.
 
Who's decision was it to breakup? Why are you breaking up? If one decides to breakup, but won't allow it until after step, then that's selfish, and their own problem. You don't string somebody along. I just don't understand how this helps, knowing that it's going to be over anyways.

I guess being able to stay in contact, but why doesn't that still hurt?
 
Do the two of you still regularly have sex? I don't what it's like for a woman, but going without sex after you have been in a long term relationship will make any man unfocused and irritable as hell for a few weeks. I would do whatever you can to keep the sex going until the test is over.
 
GoPelicans said:
Do the two of you still regularly have sex? I don't what it's like for a woman, but going without sex after you have been in a long term relationship will make any man unfocused and irritable as hell for a few weeks. I would do whatever you can to keep the sex going until the test is over.
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Totally. OP, Keep on keeping on. A laid test-taker is a happy test-taker. Unless it's an STD test that you're taking.
 
The issue is between her and my mom and its been a recurring issue. Also religion has been an issue for her. we both agreed that there isnt any hope. i initiated the breakup but she pleaded for us to be together for this time period. we both have been studying together in med school and i guess prob the reason is we are just lonely. i guess we promised that not to bring stuff up
 
madamebovary said:
The issue is between her and my mom and its been a recurring issue. Also religion has been an issue for her. we both agreed that there isnt any hope. i initiated the breakup but she pleaded for us to be together for this time period. we both have been studying together in med school and i guess prob the reason is we are just lonely. i guess we promised that not to bring stuff up
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What.

What?
 
madamebovary said:
The issue is between her and my mom and its been a recurring issue. Also religion has been an issue for her. we both agreed that there isnt any hope. i initiated the breakup but she pleaded for us to be together for this time period. we both have been studying together in med school and i guess prob the reason is we are just lonely. i guess we promised that not to bring stuff up
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480px-Fap-now-kiss-l.png
 
madamebovary said:
The issue is between her and my mom and its been a recurring issue. Also religion has been an issue for her. we both agreed that there isnt any hope. i initiated the breakup but she pleaded for us to be together for this time period. we both have been studying together in med school and i guess prob the reason is we are just lonely. i guess we promised that not to bring stuff up
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I'll try to be serious here. I'd avoid breaking up before something as big as STEP. Even if your relationship isn't really cutting it anymore, the stress of breaking up (confronting the loss of a familiar person, bablabla) will only add stress to an already stressful time.
Also, how are the pre-test jiggles affecting your mood right now? Were there major problems beforehand? maybe STEP is exacerbating the situation. If you still want to break up after the test, you can. And maybe be more mature about it too.
I'd advice you to sit it out.
 
cbrons said:
Just wait till after the test.
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But what if she breaks up with him RIGHT before he takes step 1 in order to get back at him and ruin his chances of matching into what he wants to match into?

Better to just be proactive and break up with her now OP
 
Breaking up is stressful in terms of entering a new life phase, even when it's mutual and for the better. It's a lot of redefining new boundaries. Unless it's really killing you, I'd just wait it out. You guys have affection for each other and know how to support each other. It's not necessarily a bad relationship even if you realize that it's not going to last forever.
 
once you brought in religion i stopped caring.
 
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madamebovary said:
We have about month and half before each of us take the exam. We both know that we will have to break up but she wants us to stay together for this critical period so less stress on the situation.
Click to expand...
madamebovary said:
I think i know it will hurt me badly too; im not sure if it will hurt worse waiting though but im hoping sweeping under the rug too has allowed me to just keep studying and one less thing to think about.
Click to expand...
Since you're not getting serious answers, I'll advise. If the relationship, itself, is not stressing you out, stay in it for now. It's 1 and a half months. Both of you are going to want sex - like alot. Keep going on, have sex when you both need or want it. Break up when you have both taken the exam.
 
I'm assuming you meant middle school instead of med school? You are obvious 12 years old
 
JP2740 said:
How is knowing you will break up different than breaking up emotionally? Doesn't make sense.
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Bc it hasn't happened yet. You're just thinking it in your head and but still behaving like everything is ok. Less emotional shock.
 
charmiedermie said:
Since you're not getting serious answers, I'll advise. If the relationship, itself, is not stressing you out, stay in it for now. It's 1 and a half months. Both of you are going to want sex - like alot. Keep going on, have sex when you both need or want it. Break up when you have both taken the exam.
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OP is the one who initiated the break up. He would not have done so if he still had any desire to keep having sex with her. In fact OP thinks that spending time with her isn't even worth the free sex, he's just doing it for charity purposes.

I say cut the cord. She's in DEFCON 5 mode now since she knows the relationship is destined for the abyss. Next thing you know she's "accidentally" forgetting to take her birth control pills and poking holes in your condoms and you find yourself with a post-Step I surprise you will never forget, or get rid off. You have been warned...
 
CherryRedDracul said:
Remember: she is your potential competition. Break up with her before Step 1 and send her into a spiral of despair before she does it to you.
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Didn't someone say a guy had this happen to them in another thread? How his gunner gf broke up with him before step 1 AND step 2 to ruin his life
 
GoPelicans said:
Do the two of you still regularly have sex? I don't what it's like for a woman, but going without sex after you have been in a long term relationship will make any man unfocused and irritable as hell for a few weeks. I would do whatever you can to keep the sex going until the test is over.
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I'm that way also, but less the irritable thing, and just more horny overall. But maybe I'm just a slut. :shrug:
 
SouthernSurgeon said:
I knew couples who did this through all of med school...

"Oh well I know it's not going to work out, but I don't want to break up with her right before step 1 it will be too stressful"

Then a couple months later...

"Oh well you know he's about to start his surgery clerkship and that would be too hard, plus I won't really see him much anyways"

Repeat q3 months or so.

A lot of immature relationships linger because it's more convenient and will have less social fallout to stay together.

Ultimately the couples match decision does a lot of these relationships in
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There's never a good time. Then it's too late.
 
Step 1 is far more important for you than this girl.

If you don't mind, can you share the religion of the girl that you are dating ? Just asking because there are few religions that are pretty rigid and inflexible when it comes to inter-faith marriage.
 
charmiedermie said:
Since you're not getting serious answers, I'll advise. If the relationship, itself, is not stressing you out, stay in it for now. It's 1 and a half months. Both of you are going to want sex - like alot. Keep going on, have sex when you both need or want it. Break up when you have both taken the exam.
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How are these not serious answers? Wtf are you talking about?
 
Prince090 said:
Step 1 is far more important for you than this girl.

If you don't mind, can you share the religion of the girl that you are dating ? Just asking because there are few religions that are pretty rigid and inflexible when it comes to inter-faith marriage.
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She is christian and im agnostic/atheist

JP2740 said:
How is knowing you will break up different than breaking up emotionally? Doesn't make sense.
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ya exactly my thought

SouthernSurgeon said:
I knew couples who did this through all of med school...

"Oh well I know it's not going to work out, but I don't want to break up with her right before step 1 it will be too stressful"

Then a couple months later...

"Oh well you know he's about to start his surgery clerkship and that would be too hard, plus I won't really see him much anyways"

Repeat q3 months or so.

A lot of immature relationships linger because it's more convenient and will have less social fallout to stay together.

Ultimately the couples match decision does a lot of these relationships in
Click to expand...
That is kinda my fear. pretty much there is never a good time.

DocVader1990 said:
OP is the one who initiated the break up. He would not have done so if he still had any desire to keep having sex with her. In fact OP thinks that spending time with her isn't even worth the free sex, he's just doing it for charity purposes.

I say cut the cord. She's in DEFCON 5 mode now since she knows the relationship is destined for the abyss. Next thing you know she's "accidentally" forgetting to take her birth control pills and poking holes in your condoms and you find yourself with a post-Step I surprise you will never forget, or get rid off. You have been warned...
Click to expand...
Thanks for this. All i know is if we see each other, stuff might happen and just get emotionally attached and just continue this repeated cycle
 
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madamebovary said:
She is christian and im agnostic/atheist

All i know is if we see each other, sex prob will happen and just get emotionally attached and just continue this repeated cycle
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sounds like a good episode of Scrubs

url
 
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I will repeat: you two are already broken up. The rest of this discussion is entirely unnecessary.
 
J DUB said:
friends with benefits. redefine the relationship. Study buddy and sex toy. Win Win.........
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QFT...and I'll elaborate in case anyone thinks this isn't a serious suggestion.

If you're in a relationship with someone where you are even contemplating staying together after the inevitable elephant break up in the room has been spotted and discussed, then it means that both of you still want some level of physical and emotional companionship. The transition can be surprisingly quick and easy if both parties lay down the ground rules up front.
 
Donald Juan said:
QFT...and I'll elaborate in case anyone thinks this isn't a serious suggestion.

If you're in a relationship with someone where you are even contemplating staying together after the inevitable elephant break up in the room has been spotted and discussed, then it means that both of you still want some level of physical and emotional companionship. The transition can be surprisingly quick and easy if both parties lay down the ground rules up front.
Click to expand...

lol bc kind of stuff ever ends well?
 
Donald Juan said:
QFT...and I'll elaborate in case anyone thinks this isn't a serious suggestion.

If you're in a relationship with someone where you are even contemplating staying together after the inevitable elephant break up in the room has been spotted and discussed, then it means that both of you still want some level of physical and emotional companionship. The transition can be surprisingly quick and easy if both parties lay down the ground rules up front.
Click to expand...

do you think this will work? I just hope it wont end badly.
 
are you 7?

how can you possibly have fun if you have this impending doom and gloom of breaking up
 
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