- Joined
- Aug 21, 2004
- Messages
- 244
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- Age
- 44
- Location
- Chicago, IL
- Medical Student
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I realize that this is a VERY touchy and personal subject. I first "became" bulimic at the end of high school (17 or 18). It ebbed and flowed in college and I hit a definite rock-bottom as far as bulimia and con-committent depression (as well as other assorted self-destructive behaviors) were concerned. I've bounced with anti-depressants and therapy, etc... finally coming to some equilibrium with nothing but a positive outlook on life (finally, I'm 24). I have been stable until about Feb, when I relapsed (the primary trigger was feeling immensely fat, nothing else had changed). I felt such massive guilt and shame that it kicked in the cycle almost immediately. It was full-blown for a while, but then moderated and subsided. The kicker is that at my worst in college, I wasn't eating right or exercising like I should. I also topped off at about 146-ish (I never really paid close attention other than feeling like a whale, like eating disorded folks do). Now, I'm in shape, can run for miles, and have my flexibility back (weighing 132 of totally toned up muscle, I'm 5'8"-5'9"). So what on earth do I have have any physical complaints about? That's good evidence for problems that lie beyond the skin, but is anybody else scared about the future - relating to problems such as this?? I've done fairly well in terms of getting my "business" together, but it's not perfect, nor do I expect it to ever be. Just curious if people have similar experiences, conerns, etc... Even if nobody posts, due to personal issues, it's something to be aware of - for yourself or peers......
