Can i say this in a secondary?

[Ari1584]

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So i e-mailed some students to this school that I am filling out a secondary form and I asked them what they love most about their years at the school. Most were in there thrid or fourth year. In my secondary for "why chose school X", can I say something like..."The faculty at X, after feedback from various current medical students, is responsive, compassionate and knowledgeable...etc etc" Can I say that I know about how the faculty is bc I asked students and they all rave about their professors? I feel like if i dont add that in, then they will think "how does she know about the teachers if she is not a student yet." what do you guys think?

 

[ar2388]

maybe try phrasing it slightly better? spin it as something like "After getting in touch with students in their 3rd and 4th years, I was able to gain insight into the faculty at X, blah blah blah" ..

i just think you should phrase the part about the speaking with the students in a way that shows motivation, initiative, and self-reliance.

 

[kia ora]

So i e-mailed some students to this school that I am filling out a secondary form and I asked them what they love most about their years at the school. Most were in there thrid or fourth year. In my secondary for "why chose school X", can I say something like..."The faculty at X, after feedback from various current medical students, is responsive, compassionate and knowledgeable...etc etc" Can I say that I know about how the faculty is bc I asked students and they all rave about their professors? I feel like if i dont add that in, then they will think "how does she know about the teachers if she is not a student yet." what do you guys think?

you *can* say whatever you want; whether you *should* say that I will not address. however, the structure of your proposed sentence is whack. it should be sth like: "feedback from current students indicates that the faculty is...". the way you have it worded makes it sound like the faculty is responsive, etc., *because* of the feedback from current students.

just had to point that out. poor sentence structure bugs

 

[trueBelief]

you *can* say whatever you want; whether you *should* say that I will not address. however, the structure of your proposed sentence is whack. it should be sth like: "feedback from current students indicates that the faculty is...". the way you have it worded makes it sound like the faculty is responsive, etc., *because* of the feedback from current students.

just had to point that out. poor sentence structure bugs

Fix the sentence structure to make it sound like YOU were interested, so YOU contacted students to learn more about the school and were told that so and so and so is....well awesome.

 

[Mattabet]

poor sentence structure bugs

Must... include... predicate...*

But props, I think that's the first time in the history of English that somebody has characterized 'sentence structure' as 'whack'.




*Yes, yes, technically you don't need to include a predicate, this is grammatically sound, though vauge, unless you're using 'bugs' as a noun, as in, "the poor sentence structure bugs chewed through the foundation of my paragraph and floorboards (wait, that was termites)."

 

[kia ora]

Must... include... predicate...*

But props, I think that's the first time in the history of English that somebody has characterized 'sentence structure' as 'whack'.




*Yes, yes, technically you don't need to include a predicate, this is grammatically sound, though vauge, unless you're using 'bugs' as a noun, as in, "the poor sentence structure bugs chewed through the foundation of my paragraph and floorboards (wait, that was termites)."

I purposely wrote the sentence that way. rather than using Arial, perhaps I should have used the Irony font...😉

 

[Disinence2]

The idea and the research is great!

I don't think this was word for word what he was writing in his secondary guys.. go easy