Can my parents find out I saw a psychologist

[Richanesthesiologist]

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I've been feeling very tired, careless, wreckless, anxious, stressed and lacking confidence lately. My grades aren't where I want them to be, I'm sleeping 4 hours a night trying to study, I always feel like I'm not as good at things as my roommates (exams, sports, dexterity), and I'm having a ton of trouble following procedures in my research lab and I don't think my mentor is too happy with me (I'm also taking this class for a grade and I really don't want a C just for a research lab).

I need to see a psychologist/psychiatrist badly, but I don't want my parents to find out. I don't mind paying the co pay, but I'm afraid they might see the deductible added and look at where it came from on their insurance, which I'm on. How much would it be if I just paid everything in full cash so they don't find out? Money isn't a problem for me.

 

[boogiecousins94]

Does your school have some sort of mental health counseling type thing? Usually with that they put it on your fee bill and it would just say student fee or something and if it said anything medical it wouldn't be specific- just something like student health services. If you didn't want to tell them and they asked you could just say you felt sick

 

[DokterMom]

So let's see if I understand you correctly --

You're tanking your life and know you need to/can/how to fix it, but will continue tanking your life just so your parents don't find out that you were in danger of tanking your life but instead, chose to take pro-active steps to fix it?

Stop tanking your life. See a therapist. If your parents find out, spin it as a "tune up" -- which it literally is. This is preventative maintenance 101, and it's a good thing!

 

[WisNeuro]

Full cash pay is going to vary wildly depending on provider type (mid-level vs doctoral) and geographic location. I'd say anywhere between 75-200 an hour.

 

[21Rush12]

Agree with DokterMom wholeheartedly. If you can see school counselors without insurance do that, but honestly it's more important that you get the help you need than it is to worry about them finding out. This is why they pay an insurance premium, and if it helps you get yourself together and back on track then you have to do what's best for yourself. There's nothing wrong with asking for help and you need to be your own advocate.

Good luck to you, if you have questions about what it's like to go to someone feel free to PM me, as I've been there before (as have MANY of us and many of my fellow med students)


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[pugsessed]

I did the same thing you did and I just paid full cash so it wouldn't pop up on insurance. It cost me $165 an hour. Worth every penny. Get yourself the help you need. You can search psychologist/psychiatrist based on issues they treat such as anxiety or depression on the web. They also tend to say if they are accepting new patients and what age ranges they treat.

 

[DBC03]

I agree with above - do whatever you can to see a therapist/counselor/etc. I'd probably start with whether your school has a counselor and go from there (someone at the school may be able to refer you to someone). One question I'm wondering about is what you believe your parents will think or do if they discover you are seeing a therapist. No need to tell us, but think through your relationship with them, how they have reacted to issues in the past, and what would happen if they found out. My parents are the type that get upset if I accidentally forget to call, but would bend over backwards for me if I was in deep trouble (including things like, say, accidentally setting the house on fire or wrecking the car). Where I volunteer we have to consider the parent/young adult relationships and there is often a range of parental responses to crises. Some times the children (young adults) have misconceptions of how parents will react and it's clear from the stories they tell us that their parents will be accepting. But, alas, at other times they are not mistaken and it is clear from past stories that parents will be upset. I imagine this is adding to the stress you are already feeling, and it might be a welcome relief to you if you had a heart to heart with them and no longer add the stress of wondering how they will react. I imagine you are afraid they will be disappointed in you, but they might be really supportive. Regardless, make sure you see someone!

 

[Rhabdoviridae]

If you are too embarrassed to go to a therapist, then just don't see one. Find another way to relieve stress. You better do this now because it just gets worse from this point on. You are also better off not keeping secrets from your parents. I can't believe other posters would support something like this.

 

[PreMedMissteps]

I've been feeling very tired, careless, wreckless, anxious, stressed and lacking confidence lately. My grades aren't where I want them to be, I'm sleeping 4 hours a night trying to study, I always feel like I'm not as good at things as my roommates (exams, sports, dexterity), and I'm having a ton of trouble following procedures in my research lab and I don't think my mentor is too happy with me (I'm also taking this class for a grade and I really don't want a C just for a research lab).

I need to see a psychologist/psychiatrist badly, but I don't want my parents to find out. I don't mind paying the co pay, but I'm afraid they might see the deductible added and look at where it came from on their insurance, which I'm on. How much would it be if I just paid everything in full cash so they don't find out? Money isn't a problem for me.

Insurance seems to be an issue when it comes to true privacy when you're not the policy holder. Seems like that's an area that needs some work.

Seeing a therapist can mean weekly visits for a long time. Each visit could cost you $125+ per week, which probably isn't sustainable for a student. Seeing a psychiatrist also won't be cheap, plus you'd need follow up visits for Rx adjustments.

What does your univ offer?

 

[Lucca]

I recommend visiting your school's counseling and mental health center. Free and private usually, but long waits to be seen. In the meantime, considering cutting on commitments or dropping classes if you can in order to perform better in the rest of your coursework / responsibilities.

Academics first, then ECs.

 

[mariposas905]

Aren't school psychologists free to see? Therapy sessions at my college are once every week, every semester and it's all free if you're a non-degree or degree-seeking student, regardless of full-time or part-time. Your parents wouldn't know then, because universities don't disclose that unless you want them to (you need to sign a form).

 

[SnowyMoon]

Edit to keep with the topic:
OP, I don't know your relationship with your parents or how they feel about mental health, but I think you should talk with them about it as well. Though, if you are 100% certain they would say things along the lines of "mental illness is God punishing you," or "mental illness isn't real," then perhaps come up with a contingency to avoid insurance. I trust you're a rational adult who can determine how your parents feel about this, so the ball is in your court there.

Aren't school psychologists free to see? Therapy sessions at my college are once every week, every semester and it's all free if you're a non-degree or degree-seeking student, regardless of full-time or part-time. Your parents wouldn't know then, because universities don't disclose that unless you want them to (you need to sign a form).

Unfortunately, not everyone is so lucky. My (small) undergrad did this as well, but my (large) grad school costs a significant amount, saying it would be at least triple if we all didn't pay a 1k fee. If I needed mental health services I'd have to pay a fair amount per half hr or wait 4-6 MONTHS to see a psychiatrist/clinical psychologist.

I didn't realize how lucky I was to have an undergrad that did that without a health fee!

 

[plantsandpremed]

If you're truly worried about them seeing it, seek out a counselor with lower costs. Mine is $41 a session- that's my starbucks money. Kidding. Kinda. I just have to take money from things I want because this is something I need. Check with your school- many offer free or discounted counseling. Check with groups who have counselors doing their internships- they're fantastic and usually much cheaper. You're not going to perform well in school if you don't get the help you need. I went from a 3.1 in HS to a 3.9 in college because of counseling/therapy. You gotta take care of your priorities.