Check out this personal statement!!

[Eyesore]

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[DOtobe]

 

[kmnfive]

this is a joke right? i thought it was utter crap.

 

[dharmabum7]

i'm pretty sure this is a joke....i mean come on...he assisted in a surgery in 5th grade....right, surgeons loved have us in the room let alone a 5th grader?

and he instructed ent residents on basal surgery as an undergraduate...okay...whatever....

i think this is supposed to represent what the most ideal personal statement would be...

guys come on...this one is obviously satire....SATIRE!!!!!

 

[mikegoal]

its actualy not a joke i know the guy. Intrestingly enough in his last year of ENT residency he decided he didnt like it and is now finishing up a residency in psychiatry

 

[Mirror Form]

Are you guys crazy? Ofcourse it's a joke! Somehow I doubt Yale really had an undergraduate college student instructing their residents on how to do skull base surgery. And that's not even the most far-fetched statement in that thing!

 

[Thewonderer]

Originally posted by mikegoal
its actualy not a joke i know the guy. Intrestingly enough in his last year of ENT residency he decided he didnt like it and is now finishing up a residency in psychiatry

sure.....

 

[ckent]

Originally posted by mikegoal
its actualy not a joke i know the guy. Intrestingly enough in his last year of ENT residency he decided he didnt like it and is now finishing up a residency in psychiatry

I think that a more accurate conclusion to this story would be that "this ENT resident finally realized that in fact he wasn't an ENT resident, and that most his current and past experiences were actually delusions of gradeur, so he finally went to seek help from a psychiatrist."

 

[BPKurtz]

The true end to the story goes like this: Glenda, the good witch of the North, appeared before him and told him he had actually had the power to become chairman at Mass General the whole time. He just had to click the heels of his ruby slippers together 3 times and say "There's no place like Harvard."

bpkurtz

 

[blackwell]

😴

Come on, is that all?

 

[kasimagore1]

It's easy to verify the authenticity of this PS: just use pubmed and search the paper that was purported to be published in Nature. I couldn't find it....so judge for yourself.

 

[Minimalist M]

It reads less like a personal statement and more like a CV written out in paragraph form. I can tell that this person is exceptional in medical experience, but I don't know much about who they really are.🙄

 

[Idiopathic]

Gerbils dont get Meniere's disease...

😉

 

[grouptherapy]

Originally posted by Minimalist M
It reads less like a personal statement and more like a CV written out in paragraph form. I can tell that this person is exceptional in medical experience, but I don't know much about who they really are.🙄

driven

 

[Sessamoid]

You guys have obviously never seen this, which was supposedly a real personal statement to a New York college:

College Application Personal Statement

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.



I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.



Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.



I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.



I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.



I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a Mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.



But I have not yet gone to college.