Wow everyone I'm really thankful for your advice, let me supply more information about myself:
I'm a 26 yo M that went to community college and then UCR for undergrad and came out with no undergraduate debt at the age of 24. I was born in CA, but almost immediately moved to Nicaragua and lived there for ~13 years. My family moved back to CA and started learning English as a teenager. My family is of very background, and after my father abandoned my family, we have been struggling to survive on ~$25,000/ year ever since I can remember. After doing terribly in high school and in community college I left my frustrations and anger aside and worked my way up to obtain 3 associate degrees and a degree in biochemistry and a top mcat score. I am not married with no children but do have a very loving and supportive girlfriend, and leaving my family and my girlfriend behind would be very difficult. My family stills struggles financially and for me just thinking of borrowing $170,000 makes me highly uncomfortable when I never had that money in my life. My family (my mom and older brother, younger sister) said that if I stayed at home they would support my living expenses and I would live quite comfortably with their support and presence. However going to UW has a sense of excitement to go to new place I've never been and create a new life. I feel that UW would provide with an amazing education as I echo the importance of a teaching hospital, and I'm also aware that UW is well respected. I've been trying to contact MS3's and MS4's from UCR to get an idea of the quality of rotations at UCR but I have not succeeded in that. As for my career goals I would definitely enjoy being a physician in California, and UCR matched 86% of their students in California for their inaugural class that is graduating this year, so I think that is a plus for UCR. I definitely I'm not interested in peds, with that being said I'm not really sure what career choice I would want to do and UCR doesn't have departments in many specialties, instead you get 2 Selectives in your 3rd year to career exploration at the other UCs but I think this doesn't sound like enough. UCR might hurt me a little bit when it comes to career exploration and maybe going to a competitive residency, but the lower debt means that the I'll be able to get on with my life and help my family quicker, which makes the very generous financial package of UCR very hard for me to ignore. Again thank you all for your input and help me figure out what to do and please excuse my ignorance!
That's quite a life story, and I'm sure your family is very proud of you. That's amazing that your family is willing to help you out while in medical school.
I can understand being uncomfortable borrowing $170k. I was uncomfortable with borrowing the full cost of attendance (closer to $300k for me). With undergrad and interest accumulating it's closer to $400k. It's a lot, and I won't lie that it worries me and makes me wonder if I can afford to go back to CA to live with family. I'm going into spinal cord injury medicine--so roughly same pay as internal medicine. Don't get me wrong, ~$200k is a ton of money, but after taxes and loan payments, not much is left if I want to buy a home in the SF or LA area. (I'm not sure much is left over even without the loans...).
Still, I do think that paying back $170k shouldn't be too much of a burden as long as you graduate. But yes, you wouldn't necessarily be able to start helping your family quite as quickly, though you could certainly spread out your loan payments (I would recommend against that and just pay them down ASAP--if you and your family are used to a standard of living, it's easier to continue living that way another year or two while you aggressively pay down the debt, then you'll have much more disposable income to help your family out when the loans are paid off).
You should go to the school that's best for you. Getting into a top name school is really exciting, but you need to ask yourself two basic questions
1) Which school will prepare you more to be the doctor you want to be?
2) Which school will you be happier at (taking into account location/proximity to family/school philosphy/etc)?
If the answer is UW, then the next question is, is it worth the extra cost?
I do want to add that it sounds like UCR specifically recruits students who want to stay in CA (mostly for primary care I believe), so I wouldn't let that high CA match rate deter you from UW, as there's some self-selection bias. Still, you might find that you have more in common with other UCR students and similar goals. You may make some great connections there that can help you get a CA residency and then a CA job. UW will have great contacts too, but being further from CA, the mentors you meet there may not have as much pull in regional areas of CA.
If you want to go into academic medicine, UW is going to prepare you better. If you'd prefer to be a community physician, I'd argue you'll likely get a better education at UCR, as I believe most of their rotations are with community hospitals/physicians. So if your goal is to be a community physician in CA, UCR is a great way to go.
Another thing to think about is how you would do without the support of your family. Would you regret moving so far away from them? (The converse is true as well--if you chose UCR, would you regret "giving up" a UW acceptance?) Medical school is really stressful, and it helps to have the support of people who love and care about you. Even just one person. Hours can get long and lonely. It sure is nice if someone is able to help you keep your place clean, prep some meals, etc. Studying at home could be difficult, but you could always do that at the library.
If you're really committed to your SO, and they're unable to follow you to UW, then that's another thing to consider. My SO (now wife) was able to move with me. I know people that have done long-distance relationships, and it seems the only time they really have worked out if longer than 6 months or so is when they're a bit older and married (I had some co-residents whose SO's matched in different states).
A lot of people will tell you not to put a girl or guy above your career goals. Personally I think that's silly--the majority of your happiness in life is determined by who you marry and the quality of your relationship with your family. So it's totally worth sacrificing a bit of career potential
for the right person. If you plan to marry your girlfriend, and she truly can't come to Madison with you, that would be enough for me to choose UCR alone.
Regarding the selectives at UCR--how long are they? If they're 4 weeks each, that's plenty of elective time in your 4th year. I only got one month of elective in my third year. More schools seem to have 2, and I think that's ideal if you're trying to explore specialties outside the core curriculum. But if you get to rotate through other UC's that's a big plus--you may make contacts that can help you match to those UCs.
If you want to do academic medicine or something really competitive, I think UW would make more sense, but if your goal is to become a good physician and maintain strong ties to my family, as well as stay in CA, then I think UCR would be the easy winner. Personally, after thinking about it, I would probably chose to stay close to family, in the state I wanted to do residency in and settle down in. The prestige of UW would be nice and all, but pride from prestige wears off quickly. Prestige only matters if it helps your further your life and career goals.
I doubt UCR would limit you unless you wanted to do something really competitive like neurosurgery, derm. But, if you could overcome all the hardships you've overcome, with that kind of work ethic I really doubt any school is going to limit you. Each school has it's own strengths and opens some doors better than the others, but I don't think doors are closed at either.
