Class of 2014!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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OK, here's a joke for those of you who are bored:

So Yoda, ksmi, and I died and went to heaven. We were led to a long hallway with many doors. As we walked along the hallway, I found a door with my name on it, so I entered. In there sat a ugly biatch, maybe 80lbs, 3-4 teeth still remain, sores all over, and a deep voice boomed from above: dingyibvs, you've sinned your whole life, and you are sentenced to spend an eternity with this woman.

Damn.

Yoda and ksmi kept on walking, and eventually Yoda found a door with his name on it and entered. In there sat another ugly biatch, at least 300 lbs, pimples all over her body, and grease covered her hands and face as she munches on a goat. A deep voice boomed from above: Yoda, you've sinned your whole life, you are sentenced in afterlife to spend an eternity with this woman.

Ksmi is now getting a bit scared, and walked carefully until she found her door. To her surprise, inside sat Pierce Brosnan, perfectly tanned, and working out as sweat covered his well-toned body. Ksmi was overjoyed! Then a deep voice boomed from above:

Pierce Brosnan, you've sinned your whole life....

😛
 
Myuu said:
Wow, that wasn't sexist at all.:meanie:
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no, no, no, you totally misinterpreted! what i meant was that i wish i wasn't so wishy-washy and too stupid to make up my mind, you know, like a female 😉
 
i have a secret plan for my first year to take out (1) only the subsidized loans and (2) the whole amount available even though i def don't need it 'cause i can live in NYC on a budget like no other. i'm going to hoard some of it and earn interest on it and repay from that pot during the beginning of residency. watch me only earn like $10 in interest though :laugh:
 
OneMCATAway said:
holaaaaaa :hello:
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hola chica, como estas?

dw2158 said:
i have a secret plan for my first year to take out (1) only the subsidized loans and (2) the whole amount available even though i def don't need it 'cause i can live in NYC on a budget like no other. i'm going to hoard some of it and earn interest on it and repay from that pot during the beginning of residency. watch me only earn like $10 in interest though :laugh:
Click to expand...

or you can invest that money, in like a bonzai scheme
 
dingyibvs said:
OK, here's a joke for those of you who are bored:

So Yoda, ksmi, and I died and went to heaven. We were led to a long hallway with many doors. As we walked along the hallway, I found a door with my name on it, so I entered. In there sat a ugly biatch, maybe 80lbs, 3-4 teeth still remain, sores all over, and a deep voice boomed from above: dingyibvs, you've sinned your whole life, and you are sentenced to spend an eternity with this woman.

Damn.

Yoda and ksmi kept on walking, and eventually Yoda found a door with his name on it and entered. In there sat another ugly biatch, at least 300 lbs, pimples all over her body, and grease covered her hands and face as she munches on a goat. A deep voice boomed from above: Yoda, you've sinned your whole life, you are sentenced in afterlife to spend an eternity with this woman.

Ksmi is now getting a bit scared, and walked carefully until she found her door. To her surprise, inside sat Pierce Brosnan, perfectly tanned, and working out as sweat covered his well-toned body. Ksmi was overjoyed! Then a deep voice boomed from above:

Pierce Brosnan, you've sinned your whole life....

😛
Click to expand...

🙁
 
dingy be prepared to get slapped by ksmi 😱

dw you decided on your school 🙂 nice signature 😀

is subsidized loan the one with no interest while in school?
 
jla314 said:
if i were choosing between only scholarship schools i'd stick with duke, i think...missouri < north carolina for me
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wait, are you leaning duke? i thought you were HST fo sho
 
dingyibvs said:
or you can invest that money, in like a bonzai scheme
Click to expand...

ah yes. bonzai schemes are very lucrative.



OneMCATAway said:
dingy be prepared to get slapped by ksmi 😱

dw you decided on your school 🙂 nice signature 😀

is subsidized loan the one with no interest while in school?
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yup. i only got $4500 in unsub loans and the rest was sub, and my americorps education award covers more than the $4500 anyway. but full tuition schollies FTW, bigtime.
 
How about a math joke?

Why do you rarely find mathematicians on the beach?

Because they can get a tan with sine and cosine!
 
dingyibvs said:
How about a math joke?

Why do you rarely find mathematicians on the beach?

Because they can get a tan with sine and cosine!
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or my fave: what do you get when you cross and elephant and a grape?

elephant grape sine theta!
 
dw2158 said:
or my fave: what do you get when you cross and elephant and a grape?

elephant grape sine theta!
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:laugh: i've heard that one with this one:

what do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?

nothing -- you can't cross a scaler with a vector
 
bobsmith said:
:laugh: i've heard that one with this one:

what do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?

nothing -- you can't cross a scaler with a vector
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i've heard that one too! love it.


though my all time favorite non-math joke is...

what's brown and sticky?

A STICK!

i also like: what's green and has wheels?

grass. i lied about the wheels.
 
dw2158 said:
i've heard that one too! love it.


though my all time favorite non-math joke is...

what's brown and sticky?

A STICK!

i also like: what's green and has wheels?

grass. i lied about the wheels.
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👍 to both of those jokes :laugh:

also what's red and not there?

no tomatoes.
 
How about a sports one?

What does Notre Dame and weed have in common?

They both get smoked in bowls.
 
I was going to make a joke about Notre Dame recruits jumping ship but... too soon.
 
dingyibvs said:
it's ok, i'm vigilant 😡
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Of course you are. Ya know what else? I bet you're also really good at biochem. I wish someone as good at biochem as you are would take my test for me. I'd be sure to repay them however they wanted. *bats eyelashes* Plus, it's the least you could do after calling me ugly. 🙁
 
ksmi117 said:
Of course you are. Ya know what else? I bet you're also really good at biochem. I wish someone as good at biochem as you are would take my test for me. I'd be sure to repay them however they wanted. *bats eyelashes* Plus, it's the least you could do after calling me ugly. 🙁
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why yes, you're right, i AM good at biochem! and how can i say no to those pretty eyes? now quit playing with your hair and just watch me destroy your test for you!
 
are liquids not allowed to practice medicine?

how...statist.
 
just want to point out, Metallica, that my fantasy team's batting line looks like this tonight:


1 for 20 :laugh:
 
awkward-turtle.jpg


Seriously. I show up for the first time in like a week, and I find this??
 
😕

So I get 2 of these emails earlier today, one for Math and one for Biology:

Good Morning there,
How are you doing today and I hope you and your family had an enjoyable weekend?My husband and i are searching for a qualified math tutor for our 15yr old daughter,her name is xxxx.If you are available and qualified,kindly get back to me with your hourly rates and hopefully an arrangement can be duly made then.
Regards,
xxxx.
Click to expand...

I notice the email address is from the UK, so I say I can't do it since I live in the US. Finished, right?

Later, I get this email:

Hello metallica,
Thanks for your email and I'm delighted to know you are available to tutor my daughter with her lessons,We reside in London(kent),I'm into Real estate and construction work here,My daughter xxx will be relocating temporarily to my sister's house in Baton Rouge,LA less than a week from this date and i'm hoping the lessons can hold there privately in her home but if xxx has to meet with you then i guess it's ok still.Can you tell me what your rates are like? I would like the lessons to hold three times a week for 2hrs eachday of the lessons for a total duration of three weeks in all,how much would that amount to, metallica?Again i apologize for my late response,do get back to me on this and we can proceed on arrangements then.
Regards,
xxx.
Click to expand...

:wtf:

This has to be some sort of spam, right?
 
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