Clinic Experience gone awry - need help

[deleted483737]

Hi guys

I hate to post these morose threadlines all of the time, but this process has been extremely hard on me emotionally, physically and mentally and I was just dealt another blow.

I have been volunteering at a large clinic in the Chicagoland area as a triage volunteer and have loved every minute of it. I speak fluent Spanish and many of the patients don't speak any English. I've been there for a little over a month. I received a warning a couple of weeks ago and I felt that I solved the problem. Then, yesterday, my supervisor sent a long e-mail containing many unwarranted accusations and said I should not come into my triage shift and that she would "
would like to speak with you first about the concerns listed below and also about other ways you might contribute to xx clinic outside of triaging patients."

I feel like they want to just get rid of my as a triage volunteer instead of having me attempt to correct thees wrongs that I supposedly committed. I was not informed about many of these and have no recollection of specific incidents that could lead to such a targetted attack.

This experience was not only important in affirming my desire to go to medical school but was to be a HUGE focus of my essay and a huge part of my application as a whole. Now I feel like I can't even include it.

Are there any smaller clinics in the Chicagoland area that need triage volunteers? I feel like this is a huge blow to my application and to me personally and have just been having a lot of trouble dealing with it.

Thanks for any help.

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[didymus]

Sounds like a fantastic opportunity in some ways. Write the supervisor back, taking full responsibility for whatever the accusations are, and directly ask for a face-to-face meeting to discuss ways to improve. Even if you feel the accusations are way off base, unwarranted, or whatever, just accept responsibility, and request the chance to do better. An active role in taking responsibility, a sincere apology, and tangible efforts to improve will go a long way in making you a better person, and will also help you to learn how to work through conflict and become an even better team member (not to mention, it will be an incredible thing to talk about during med school interviews).

It looks bad to quit and move on when the going gets tough. Seriously, this sounds like a golden opportunity from here.

 

[SN12357]

Sounds like a fantastic opportunity in some ways. Write the supervisor back, taking full responsibility for whatever the accusations are, and directly ask for a face-to-face meeting to discuss ways to improve. Even if you feel the accusations are way off base, unwarranted, or whatever, just accept responsibility, and request the chance to do better. An active role in taking responsibility, a sincere apology, and tangible efforts to improve will go a long way in making you a better person, and will also help you to learn how to work through conflict and become an even better team member (not to mention, it will be an incredible thing to talk about during med school interviews).

It looks bad to quit and move on when the going gets tough. Seriously, this sounds like a golden opportunity from here.

This assumes that the OP is in the wrong. Maybe he/she is. But I have seen some extremely toxic nonprofit environments. Dumping all these concerns on the OP, at once, via email instead of in person are not hallmarks of stability or professionalism.

OP, you need to talk to some people you trust and who have good professional judgment about the whole situation, being very honest about what you have and have not done, and figure out if the environment there is somewhere where you can continue. If you made mistakes correct them. But get a reality check of some kind to figure out whether or not the environment is toxic or the supervisor is mental. Both things are very possible. Do not put anything in writing admitting wrongdoing until you have a clearer view of the situation. If you did screw up, it may serve you better to learn the lesson, cut your losses, and move on.

If the accusations are serious do not post additional details here.

 

[didymus]

This assumes that the OP is in the wrong. Maybe he/she is. But I have seen some extremely toxic nonprofit environments. Dumping all these concerns on the OP, at once, via email instead of in person are not hallmarks of stability or professionalism.

OP, you need to talk to some people you trust and who have good professional judgment about the whole situation, being very honest about what you have and have not done, and figure out if the environment there is somewhere where you can continue. If you made mistakes correct them. But get a reality check of some kind to figure out whether or not the environment is toxic or the supervisor is mental. Both things are very possible. Do not put anything in writing admitting wrongdoing until you have a clearer view of the situation. If you did screw up, it may serve you better to learn the lesson, cut your losses, and move on.

If the accusations are serious do not post additional details here.

This is all good advice as well. I guess we are commenting on something when we don't have any specifics of what went down. Depending on the situational details, both recommendations could be helpful. Both require some self-awareness on the OP's part, and a sober assessment of the situation.

 

[deleted483737]

Sounds like a fantastic opportunity in some ways. Write the supervisor back, taking full responsibility for whatever the accusations are, and directly ask for a face-to-face meeting to discuss ways to improve. Even if you feel the accusations are way off base, unwarranted, or whatever, just accept responsibility, and request the chance to do better. An active role in taking responsibility, a sincere apology, and tangible efforts to improve, will go a very long way in making you a better person, but also helping you to learn how to work through conflict and become an even better team member. Not to mention it will be an incredible thing to talk about during med school interviews.It looks bad to quit and move on when the going gets tough. Seriously, this sounds like a golden opportunity from here.

I did write back to her and apologized profusely. Honestly, the things I am being accused of were never actually explained to me in any orientation or meeting and some of them seem contradictory.

The supervisor replied and told me I was a "wonderful person" and can do "good things for the world" while in the e-mail prior to that, she accused me of a ton of wrongdoing. She also said it was "very difficult" for her to send the inflammatory e-mail. So, despite reassuring me that I was a good person and that I didn't need to beat myself up, she continued to suggest moving me to another part of the clinic, which I had clearly stated multiple times that I did not want to do....

As someone a bit on the older side who has had jobs before, it seems a bit absurd to me that, after a month, they are willing to up and fire me without even making me aware of my mistakes.

 

[beBrave]

Don't trust someone who chooses to not provide an explanation. You don't even know what you apologized for. Find another hospital or clinic. Not everyone means you well and just wants to give feedback. When people tell you what you're doing wrong, it means they care about you; when people present unexplained blame as feedback, they usually have alterior motives.

 

[didymus]

I did write back to her and apologized profusely. Honestly, the things I am being accused of were never actually explained to me in any orientation or meeting and some of them seem contradictory.

The supervisor replied and told me I was a "wonderful person" and can do "good things for the world" while in the e-mail prior to that, she accused me of a ton of wrongdoing. She also said it was "very difficult" for her to send the inflammatory e-mail. So, despite reassuring me that I was a good person and that I didn't need to beat myself up, she continued to suggest moving me to another part of the clinic, which I had clearly stated multiple times that I did not want to do....

As someone a bit on the older side who has had jobs before, it seems a bit absurd to me that, after a month, they are willing to up and fire me without even making me aware of my mistakes.

This now sounds awful. FWIW (not much probably), I have been through a similar experience. My honors mentor during undergrad all-of-a-sudden had it out for me one day. I was bewildered at first--but what started as mere bewilderment gave way to dread and anxiety. I was so upset about it that I actually developed stress pains in my shoulders, and I couldn't sleep at night. It was all out of the blue, too! I had to participate in a arbitration session with this professor and others. After the session, one of the professors told me she couldn't figure out why Dr. So-and-so had a vendetta against me.I learned quite a lot through the experience, and now, having it behind me a few years, I don't think I would trade the experience. That said, I don't think I would have chosen it, either, if given the chance.You can feel free to PM me if you want to talk more in-depth with someone who has kinda "been there." I totally see what you're saying now, and I feel for you.

 

[deleted483737]

Don't trust someone who chooses to not provide an explanation. You don't even know what you apologized for. Find another hospital or clinic. Not everyone means you well and just wants to give feedback. When people tell you what you're doing wrong, it means they care about you; when people present unexplained blame as feedback, they usually have alterior motives.

She did say she wanted to talk about it, but the timing of the e-mail was disturbing. I usually volunteer on Mondays and she told me to not come to my shift and that she instead wanted to talk to me on the phone about the issues she laid out.

 

[deleted483737]

This is all good advice as well. I guess we are commenting on something when we don't have any specifics of what went down. Depending on the situational details, both recommendations could be helpful. Both require some self-awareness on the OP's part, and a sober assessment of the situation.

One of the accusations is valid and I took full responsibility for it. However, I can't think of a single instance that could substantiate the others. The supervisor and I got very close very quickly due to our commitment to combating domestic violence in the US and had plenty of wonderful, positive conversations. That's part of why this is so disturbing as it feels like she did not stand up for me AT ALL and seems to be intending to just shuffle me to another part of the clinic. In subsequent e-mails, I made it very clear that this was not an acceptable solution, yet she recommended it 2 times and the said she was going to talk to the person the 3rd time. It didn't feel like she was reading my e-mails anymore...

 

[deleted483737]

Don't trust someone who chooses to not provide an explanation. You don't even know what you apologized for. Find another hospital or clinic. Not everyone means you well and just wants to give feedback. When people tell you what you're doing wrong, it means they care about you; when people present unexplained blame as feedback, they usually have alterior motives.

I have started to look for another clinic where I can work in the same capacity, but it is proving quite difficult, which is why I reached out to the community to see if they knew of any other clinics. I have volunteered at a hospital before and they do not allow me to do this kind of work. My hospital experience, while a good learning experience, was never fun for me even though I did my best to help out on the floor.

 

[didymus]

Check out Lawndale Clinic in Chicago.