Confidence

[Maali]

Am I the only one that confidence goes down when I get less than A's on exams. I got my first physics exam 2 weeks back and it was a low B. Now for the past weeks I haven't been confident. I'm studying my ass off for the next one and am pretty sure I'll get an A but does anyone's confidence rely on your grades haha. Or am I just crazy.

And no I'm not ugly that all I care about is grades, I just realized that the better my grades, the more confident I am in many aspects of my life.

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[deleted407021]

That makes sense. When expectations aren't met, you tend to loose confidence that they ever will be. Obviously that's not true, but it's the way we often feel. Try some different ways of thinking and coping next time you come in contact with that particular stressor. You may be able to figure out a way to counter act the blooming negativity you feel in response.

 

[Utenation]

That makes sense. When expectations aren't met, you tend to loose confidence that they ever will be. Obviously that's not true, but it's the way we often feel. Try some different ways of thinking and coping next time you come in contact with that particular stressor. You may be able to figure out a way to counter act the blooming negativity you feel in response.

Great comment. Also I'd say define yourself as something other than "student" or "medical student". Think of yourself as something else. Maybe as someone who is a true gentleman. Gentlemen can get B's and remain gentlemen. "Students", "Medical Students", and "doctors" can be real dicks sometimes, but nice guys and gentlemen make themselves feel good by helping others.

 

[BlackBox]

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[youmed]

It's perfectly normal. Just get your confidence back because confidence plays a huge role receiving good grades; don't let it stay low.

 

[Lucca]

I would be wary of how closely your self-esteem correlates with a number. You are not a number. Divorce yourself from this idea, find something else to "identify" with and build a personality outside of academics, i.e, outside of your frontal cortex.

 

[taffer]

When something like this happens that we perceive as undesirable or unacceptable, we get stressed about it. This stress (most of the time) helps motivate us to find a solution to the problem. What you're feeling is totally normal.

 

[Itisneverlupus]

Physics is not a trivial subject. Maybe you aren't learning it in the most efficient way for you.

On the other hand, in regards to your attachment to grades, it sounds like a fixed mindset issue: you believe your intelligence is fixed, and thus getting poor grades indicates lower intelligence, thus, you look for achievement all of the time to validate a sense of higher self esteem. Completely normal, especially in our field. You probably attach your identity (at least a significant portion of it) to your grades.

Understand that you aren't perfect, and you will not be proficient off the bat at everything new you do. In fact, even if you master certain things, you will still make mistakes. Michael Jordan wasn't "the best" because he never missed a shot or lost a game or played horribly. He believed that his game wasn't set in stone (fixed), which helped to keep pushing when he did encounter shortcomings.

Intelligence is much the same way. Of course, there is some innate ability that some have and others don't, but that does not mean your innate intelligence levels are static. Check these out:

http://www4.esu.edu/academics/enrichment_learning/documents/pdf/developing_growth_mindset.pdf

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kare-anderson/how-you-prove-yourself-ri_b_4710408.html

The brain is "plastic", for lack of a better term. Maleable? Fluid? Either way, you can do quite a bit about this.

Best of luck!

 

[amazing tekkers]

It's a bad idea to let grades dictate your outlook, as others said, try to disconnect from this sort of thinking.

 

[CollegeGirl94]

I feel you. I went from the most confident high-schooler to the most socially-awkward college student as I went from an A student to a B- student.

 

[Stabley17]

It's completely normal, but that doesn't mean that you can't aspire to divorce yourself from having your self-worth (leading to confidence) dictated by others. A sign of a truly mature person is someone that can take pride in their work, regardless of others' opinions, while still taking that feedback and learning from it. There's a dangerous point where someone becomes overconfident and simply doesn't listen or believe the potentially negative feedback they receive.

How to get their from where you are now? I'm not sure, because I'm certainly not there either, hah. But I think it's good to try practicing a virtue. Fake it till you make it!

 

[Maali]

Yea thanks for your replies. I think I just need to worry less what other people get and worry about myself. The more I think of other people the more my grades go down and I lose confidence. Will definitely take all your advice.