contribute examples of personal statements

[tissy]

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First off I want to say thanks so much to all of you. This forum is awesome and I can't explain how grateful I am to everyones input.

Okay, I'm writing my personal statement...but I'm comparing layouts such as the ultimate dental guide and my prehealth advisor. My advisor suggest this:

-opening paragraph, obstacles, motivaiton, competence, leadership..and put it all together...

Ultimate dental guide suggest:
-why I became interested in dentistry, suitability based on professional and academic background, reasons for choice(school), intended contributions to dentistry, conclusion (example.."last sentence"...I am sure I will be thouroughly prepared to meet the challenges of my chosen goals when I qualify.)

What do you all think? Or how about someone please I'll pay you for guidance!!!!!!!

 

[lindandy]

I wrote about a dilemma a faced and told how I struggled to get through it. I was able to turn my story into my motivation for Dschool but the overall essay read more like a story. If you have asomething personable that you can write about I think it helps because it seems most essays follow the same formula and end up being the same. I was told by several scools that my essay earned my interview and they were most impressed by that then my DAT or GPA. If you want to PM me I can forward you my essay and some others my friends submitted to help you out.

 

[Audio]

First off I want to say thanks so much to all of you. This forum is awesome and I can't explain how grateful I am to everyones input.

Okay, I'm writing my personal statement...but I'm comparing layouts such as the ultimate dental guide and my prehealth advisor. My advisor suggest this:

-opening paragraph, obstacles, motivaiton, competence, leadership..and put it all together...

Ultimate dental guide suggest:
-why I became interested in dentistry, suitability based on professional and academic background, reasons for choice(school), intended contributions to dentistry, conclusion (example.."last sentence"...I am sure I will be thouroughly prepared to meet the challenges of my chosen goals when I qualify.)

What do you all think? Or how about someone please I'll pay you for guidance!!!!!!!

If you can't write a few pages about why you want to be a dentist, then what makes you think you're qualified to be one. Being in dental school is about being independent. You cant' have people hand you the answer. You don't need any guide either. Just write your thoughts about why you love dentistry and can't do anything else. Then give it proper structure. After you do this, and edit it, then you should show it to a few different people if you want. But at this stage, you shouldn't be asking. Make it unique, make it your own. Why would you want a statement like everyone elses?

 

[tissy]

If you can't write a few pages about why you want to be a dentist, then what makes you think you're qualified to be one. Being in dental school is about being independent. You cant' have people hand you the answer. You don't need any guide either. Just write your thoughts about why you love dentistry and can't do anything else. Then give it proper structure. After you do this, and edit it, then you should show it to a few different people if you want. But at this stage, you shouldn't be asking. Make it unique, make it your own. Why would you want a statement like everyone elses?

You're a sweet guy....I'm just curious..if your so independent than why do you seek advice on this forum...or why do we all..please elaborate!

Another thing..is it really necessary to use such tone and comment to me in such manner.

I love people like you going into the dental field...Honestly, I can tell by your personality that your patients are going to love you...like I do already.

By the way..HAPPY NEW YEARS BUDDY!!! Cheers... 😍 can u feel the love people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[syn_apse]

i just used audio's personal statement

breaking news: tissy has a tissy

 

[aphistis]

No catfighting, please. 😉

 

[tissy]

i just used audio's personal statement

breaking news: tissy has a tissy

LOL..I have to admit the breaking news is funny...

 

[coral2005]

If you can't write a few pages about why you want to be a dentist, then what makes you think you're qualified to be one. Being in dental school is about being independent. You cant' have people hand you the answer. You don't need any guide either. Just write your thoughts about why you love dentistry and can't do anything else. Then give it proper structure. After you do this, and edit it, then you should show it to a few different people if you want. But at this stage, you shouldn't be asking. Make it unique, make it your own. Why would you want a statement like everyone elses?

I can see what your point is. But at the same time, why are you being such a jerk about it? I felt the same way when I was writing my essay, and felt inadequate, because I felt that I needed some kind of groundbreaking reason why I wanted to be a dentist. Give this person a break!! We all should understand his/her situation, and should be willing to provide some useful feedback. It is hard trying to elaborate in less than a 1000 words all the great reasons why you want to be a dentist without sounding like everyone else. You definitely need to get across the point that you are prepared, that you would enjoy the work, and that you have many of the skills needed to be a great dental student/dentist. At the same time, you want to make your essay memorable and easy to read. IT IS NOT AS EASY AS AUDIO PUTS IT. I would just tell you to take your time...start writing it now, and have as many people as you can review it for you. Please try to make it a story more than a straight "I want to be a dentist because..." And try to incoorporate your skills/interests/motivation into that one story. Your personality and desire to pursue dentistry should show through if you just write from your heart.

Good luck.

 

[kew]

This was my opening paragraph.



"OK class, when the substitute comes back in the classroom, everyone start coughing uncontrollably." Suddenly the teacher reenters the room and the whole class bursts out into coughing. It was only a few seconds before she ran out of the classroom never to return. My job was done and I did it well. I spent a good portion of my adolescence perfecting the art of havoc. With an identical twin brother by my side, it only made our forces stronger. We were there to entertain and entertain we did.

My interviewers also said they loved my personal statement. I agree with those above that it should take on a story form a little bit. And through the story, the reader should be able to learn the things about you that you want them to know. You don't want to come right out and say "I think I am good for dentistry because "people like me." Instead, tell an example that infers that point.

I just wanted to catch the readers attention more than anything. It's not your ordinary intro if you ask me, but it's funner to read, IMHO.

 

[gel1681]

my advice would be to write something original... i would personally throw out what any books say b/c you know others would write something along those lines... your personal statement is what can separate you from all the other applicants with similar stats, so if you have something original, u'll instantly stand out...

I personally wrote an obituary for myself. The first 2/3 of the statement was used to say how I picked dentistry as a career, then how I messed up in college, and finally how I went to grad school to prove I could handle the coursework. the last third of the statement was basically how I hope the rest of my life works out- graduate from d-school, work, get married, and later on go back to my alma mater to teacher future dentists...

My interviewer said she had never come across a personal statement like that, so I'd like to think it had an effect on making me stand out... but then again, it may have been her first year on the committee, so I coulud be mistaken 😛 ...

once again, write something that you believe would make you stand out amongst the rest...

 

[lindandy]

I will be happy to share my essay with anyone, just Pm me with your email and then let me know what you think.

 

[syn_apse]

no offense, but there is some questionable advice floating around this thread (mine included). you only have a few words to show your passion, accomplishments and personality. avoid gimmicks like "telling a story" or "writing an obituary" -- it can work for some people, but most of the time its too cute and lacks real substance...

my advice? pick 3 strengths that make you unique, that will help you as a dentist and that will make you an asset to dental schools. back up your statements with anecdotes (this is a good place for story time). when you finish that, write an intro/conclusion to tie it together. be yourself and use your voice, but don't be informal. have your advisor read it and give feedback (parents and friends don't always make good editors because they love you). revise it, done.

good luck

 

[supraman]

Write what you want them to hear. For me, I may write about how one semester I had 10 credits and the next semester I had 19 and got a 4.0. Along with the fact that my dad is a dental tech, etc. Write about the very first time you went to the Dentist, how you want to make going to the dentist fun! 😀

 

[syn_apse]

👍 you're hired for dental school!

Write what you want them to hear. For me, I may write about how one semester I had 10 credits and the next semester I had 19 and got a 4.0. Along with the fact that my dad is a dental tech, etc. Write about the very first time you went to the Dentist, how you want to make going to the dentist fun! 😀

 

[klfb80]

No catfighting, please. 😉

Did somebody say ccccat fight. 😀

 

[klfb80]

no offense, but there is some questionable advice floating around this thread (mine included). you only have a few words to show your passion, accomplishments and personality. avoid gimmicks like "telling a story" or "writing an obituary" -- it can work for some people, but most of the time its too cute and lacks real substance...

my advice? pick 3 strengths that make you unique, that will help you as a dentist and that will make you an asset to dental schools. back up your statements with anecdotes (this is a good place for story time). when you finish that, write an intro/conclusion to tie it together. be yourself and use your voice, but don't be informal. have your advisor read it and give feedback (parents and friends don't always make good editors because they love you). revise it, done.

good luck

#1 I hate it when people say stuff like this on SDN (no offense, but there is some questionable advice floating around this thread (mine included).) as this and most other threads are opinion and no one is telling you that you have to use the info, it's just something that worked for them and maybe others they know.

#2 (avoid gimmicks like "telling a story). By using the term tell a story we don't mean write down a Dick and Jane book word for word. When people say tell a story they don't litteraly mean tell a story they mean make your Persoanl statement flow, have substance, sound thought out and thoughtful. i.e. Whats the reason you want to be a dentist? What led you to this conclusion? Is they are way that you can put this on paper that sounds good and comes together well. I personally became interested in dentistry while serving in the Army and deployed to Bosnia. Sounds like there is a stroy there to tell and I told it. So I disagree with by all means tell a story

 

[speedy3816]

i like this lady tissy....

hey, dont worry about what they say; on his forum, some people offer constructive criticism 👍 , some people dont 👎 . we're all here for the same reason(s)... there's a wealth of info on this site. just look around for some time and you'll get an idea of what you need to be doing.

 

[klfb80]

i like this lady tissy....

hey, dont worry about what they say; on his forum, some people offer constructive criticism 👍 , some people dont 👎 . we're all here for the same reason(s)... there's a wealth of info on this site. just look around for some time and you'll get an idea of what you need to be doing.

Good advice! We all have to take the good with the bad.

 

[syn_apse]

#1 I hate it when people say stuff like this on SDN (no offense, but there is some questionable advice floating around this thread (mine included).)

#5 I hate when people don't get my unfunny jokes 😴

#6 It's tough to write a bad essay with only 1000 words

#7 The essay doesn't make or break anybody (unlike GPA & DAT)

 

[Audio]

You're a sweet guy....I'm just curious..if your so independent than why do you seek advice on this forum...or why do we all..please elaborate!

Another thing..is it really necessary to use such tone and comment to me in such manner.

I love people like you going into the dental field...Honestly, I can tell by your personality that your patients are going to love you...like I do already.

By the way..HAPPY NEW YEARS BUDDY!!! Cheers... 😍 can u feel the love people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow, for a scantily clad bimbo, you're really smart 😍 Besides, don't worry about the essay, I'm sure you put out. You'll ace the interview 😀

I like how you missed the part where I made a suggestion on how to approach the process of writing you essay. Maybe you can PM me your resume and I can write your essay for you. I mean, you're sooooo scantily clad, I'd do anything for you 😍

And I'm soooo glad there are people like you in dental school. I hope my entire class is filled with people like you. Please go to my school, I want to specialize!

 

[tissy]

Wow, for a scantily clad bimbo, you're really smart 😍 Besides, don't worry about the essay, I'm sure you put out. You'll ace the interview 😀

I like how you missed the part where I made a suggestion on how to approach the process of writing you essay. Maybe you can PM me your resume and I can write your essay for you. I mean, you're sooooo scantily clad, I'd do anything for you 😍

And I'm soooo glad there are people like you in dental school. I hope my entire class is filled with people like you. Please go to my school, I want to specialize!

GRACIAS!!! I'm glad your willing to do my personal statement for me..I knew you were kind. Okay, here's the deal...let me work on my resume for ya and I'll fetch it over to ya when I'm done. I need it done by mid may so I can submit June 1st...so make sure that it's great not just good. We'll talk soon..muwah!! hugs and kisses

 

[Audio]

GRACIAS!!! I'm glad your willing to do my personal statement for me..I knew you were kind. Okay, here's the deal...let me work on my resume for ya and I'll fetch it over to ya when I'm done. I need it done by mid may so I can submit June 1st...so make sure that it's great not just good. We'll talk soon..muwah!! hugs and kisses

Like OMG, totally for sure. You're like the coolest. Smoothes. Let's go out and have an orange mocha frappuccino 😍

Ok, so here's my idea for your statement. It should focus on your best qualities. So, you should start with your keen fashion sense, then lead to your ability to tie the stem of a cherry in a knot with your tongue and then conclude with that story about you and the entire varsity football team 😍

 

[tissy]

Like OMG, totally for sure. You're like the coolest. Smoothes. Let's go out and have an orange mocha frappuccino 😍

Ok, so here's my idea for your statement. It should focus on your best qualities. So, you should start with your keen fashion sense, then lead to your ability to tie the stem of a cherry in a knot with your tongue and then conclude with that story about you and the entire varsity football team 😍

LOL...That's a negative ghostrider! I don't want to start with the keen fashion sense..to bad your in toronto because I would've took you up on that orange mocha frappuccino, actually I would've scratched out the orange. By the way..you are like totally cool and like we should hang out sometime because like I think your personality rocks...honestly, you r like the coolest..smootches back to you ghostrider...

 

[syn_apse]

Like OMG, totally for sure. You're like the coolest. Smoothes. Let's go out and have an orange mocha frappuccino 😍

Ok, so here's my idea for your statement. It should focus on your best qualities. So, you should start with your keen fashion sense, then lead to your ability to tie the stem of a cherry in a knot with your tongue and then conclude with that story about you and the entire varsity football team 😍

😍 could this thread possibly have any more 😍

 

[fancymylotus]

oyyyyyyy vey

 

[duh?]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Audio
Like OMG, totally for sure. You're like the coolest. Smoothes. Let's go out and have an orange mocha frappuccino

Ok, so here's my idea for your statement. It should focus on your best qualities. So, you should start with your keen fashion sense, then lead to your ability to tie the stem of a cherry in a knot with your tongue and then conclude with that story about you and the entire varsity football team



LOL...That's a negative ghostrider! I don't want to start with the keen fashion sense..to bad your in toronto because I would've took you up on that orange mocha frappuccino, actually I would've scratched out the orange. By the way..you are like totally cool and like we should hang out sometime because like I think your personality rocks...honestly, you r like the coolest..smootches back to you ghostrider...

 

[howui3]

Here is how I started my personal statement:

“My first exposure to dentistry almost took my life. I remember the taste of metal in my mouth as a 300 pound goalpost pinned me to the ground. Blood rushed out of my mouth, and my teeth felt loose. I saw the terrified expressions of my friends as they lifted the goalpost off my face. In an instant, our rowdy game of soccer turned into something foreign.”


AS you notice it IS a story of my painful introduction to dentistry. Through this STORY I introduce MY experience and how it shaped my future life.

I would take the comment of avoiding any stories with a grain of salt. Anytime you want to explain about yourself, your school work, volunteer work or interest and passion for dentistry, you will be using a story. This will make your essay PERSONAL and help you stand out.

Otherwise your personal statement will be "I want to be a dentist because... I have done well in school....I have shadowed a dentist" BORING!!! By explaining a situation or a patient you encountered while shadowing will give the reader a glimpse into your life and your experiences.

I strongly suggest to have as many people as possible read your essay, and not just for grammar. Ask for feedback, is it strong enough? do I make my point?

Having an interesting beginning to your statement is key. If it's boring chances are the reader will lose interest quickly or might even stop reading. As we learned in middle or high school, getting and keeping the readers attention is key.

The poster who started their essay by talking about causing a teacher to run away, got me interested. I wanted to keep reading! And that's part of the goal, talk about your self, how you stand out and make it INTERESTING so it will be read to the end.

Good luck!

 

[Audio]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Audio
Like OMG, totally for sure. You're like the coolest. Smoothes. Let's go out and have an orange mocha frappuccino

Ok, so here's my idea for your statement. It should focus on your best qualities. So, you should start with your keen fashion sense, then lead to your ability to tie the stem of a cherry in a knot with your tongue and then conclude with that story about you and the entire varsity football team



LOL...That's a negative ghostrider! I don't want to start with the keen fashion sense..to bad your in toronto because I would've took you up on that orange mocha frappuccino, actually I would've scratched out the orange. By the way..you are like totally cool and like we should hang out sometime because like I think your personality rocks...honestly, you r like the coolest..smootches back to you ghostrider...

Oh, don't get jealous duh?

 

[Kniles5]

I wrote my personal statement about my first dental assisting experience. I really sucked at it, but I was only 16 years old. I spilt burs all over the patient, managed to eject the carrier's loaded amalgam all over the floor etc. I made it into a story about a nervous 16 year old girl and the reason I sucked so badly. I was told by all of my interviewers that it was one of the best they have read. Entertaining. They don't want something that is a formula. give them you.

 

[duh?]

Oh, don't get jealous duh?

No i'm not jealous, just queasy!