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Coolest conservative? (on pre-allo?)
- Thread starter Ross434
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- Attending Physician
Its an oxymoron.
Dick Cheney
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- Attending Physician
save it for the lounge
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Ross434 said:
What the hell is a conservative premed like you doing in Madison?
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I was gonna say Santy Claus, but he might be a tad warm,
and I don't know anything about the politics of Frosty.
I'm gonna have to go with Chanuka Harry.
and I don't know anything about the politics of Frosty.
I'm gonna have to go with Chanuka Harry.
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Introducing Hanukkah Harry
Jonah Fuller
The holiday season may be gone, but the memories of it still remain with me. However, my memories probably differ slightly from yours. You may be thinking of all the relatives and friends you saw, the warm fire burning on those cold winter nights, and the Christmas tree which did not catch on fire this year because uncle Charlie was not allowed to put his usual seven thousand and some odd 300 watt light bulbs on it.
You might remember seeing Santa Claus in the mall with your baby sister on his lap asking for a VISA Platinum card. You may even remember seeing Santa outside the mall afterwards taking a cigarette break.
Whatever these happy memories are though, I'd like to share with you my memories.
I am Jewish, so many of these strange rituals in which the United States of America takes part do not apply to me. Santa Claus' hut at the mall is a great example of this.
A few years back, a couple of concerned Jews wanted to have a figure for Jewish kids to sit on and ask for impossible gifts, so they invented the lovable character who has come to be known as
Hanukkah Harry.
Tragically, Harry possessed subtle differences to Santa Claus, and ran into some problems along the way to stardom. For one thing, his clothes were old rags, not a red suit with shiny gold buckles. Instead of a snow-white beard, he had Velcro sideburns, and while Santa had a cute little elf helper who all the college guys wanted to date, all Harry had for help was his old Jewish mother who made sure everybody was warm enough.
Other problems existed as well. A good example is his mode of transportation. Harry, being a practical guy, drove around in a $76 Volkswagen Beetle, which was no match for the splendor and aerial capabilities of Mr. Claus' sleigh.
Harry found himself all washed up after just one holiday season, and ended up drunk and half naked behind a seven-eleven without a penny to his name.
So, I still have to deal with Santa Claus and all his jolly
surroundings during Christmas time. Everywhere I look in December there is something going on celebrating the birth Jesus Christ. Jesus was a nice guy and I have nothing against the man, his teachings, or his followers, but I do have a constitutional right not to have to deal with him. However, little children would not be happy without him, because for some reason his birth resulted in Santa Claus (who has failed time and time again to prove any relationship to Jesus in any way whatsoever).
Santa brings the little children candy and toys and even an occasional piece of coal if they're really extra special. The result of this is that the United States Congress has passed a bill stating "the importance of Santa Claus to the culture and security of our nation is unparalleled. (Section 15 of Article 12)" Santa and everything that comes with him is here to stay.
Before Congress passes a bill to put Santa on Mount
Rushmore, however, I'd like to hear your comments on the state of our nation during the holiday season (which means the Christmas season). However, if nobody responds to this article, I may give up writing all together, and end up drunk and naked in the back of a seven-eleven, hanging out with my buddy Harry.
Jonah Fuller
The holiday season may be gone, but the memories of it still remain with me. However, my memories probably differ slightly from yours. You may be thinking of all the relatives and friends you saw, the warm fire burning on those cold winter nights, and the Christmas tree which did not catch on fire this year because uncle Charlie was not allowed to put his usual seven thousand and some odd 300 watt light bulbs on it.
You might remember seeing Santa Claus in the mall with your baby sister on his lap asking for a VISA Platinum card. You may even remember seeing Santa outside the mall afterwards taking a cigarette break.
Whatever these happy memories are though, I'd like to share with you my memories.
I am Jewish, so many of these strange rituals in which the United States of America takes part do not apply to me. Santa Claus' hut at the mall is a great example of this.
A few years back, a couple of concerned Jews wanted to have a figure for Jewish kids to sit on and ask for impossible gifts, so they invented the lovable character who has come to be known as
Hanukkah Harry.
Tragically, Harry possessed subtle differences to Santa Claus, and ran into some problems along the way to stardom. For one thing, his clothes were old rags, not a red suit with shiny gold buckles. Instead of a snow-white beard, he had Velcro sideburns, and while Santa had a cute little elf helper who all the college guys wanted to date, all Harry had for help was his old Jewish mother who made sure everybody was warm enough.
Other problems existed as well. A good example is his mode of transportation. Harry, being a practical guy, drove around in a $76 Volkswagen Beetle, which was no match for the splendor and aerial capabilities of Mr. Claus' sleigh.
Harry found himself all washed up after just one holiday season, and ended up drunk and half naked behind a seven-eleven without a penny to his name.
So, I still have to deal with Santa Claus and all his jolly
surroundings during Christmas time. Everywhere I look in December there is something going on celebrating the birth Jesus Christ. Jesus was a nice guy and I have nothing against the man, his teachings, or his followers, but I do have a constitutional right not to have to deal with him. However, little children would not be happy without him, because for some reason his birth resulted in Santa Claus (who has failed time and time again to prove any relationship to Jesus in any way whatsoever).
Santa brings the little children candy and toys and even an occasional piece of coal if they're really extra special. The result of this is that the United States Congress has passed a bill stating "the importance of Santa Claus to the culture and security of our nation is unparalleled. (Section 15 of Article 12)" Santa and everything that comes with him is here to stay.
Before Congress passes a bill to put Santa on Mount
Rushmore, however, I'd like to hear your comments on the state of our nation during the holiday season (which means the Christmas season). However, if nobody responds to this article, I may give up writing all together, and end up drunk and naked in the back of a seven-eleven, hanging out with my buddy Harry.
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Alexander Pink said:
so true.
nino is almost cool.
