Countertransferrence

[Annakei]

For the clinicians out there....

In your time as a therapist...counselor....psychologist...social worker.. etc have you encountered countertransferrence issues with a client(s)? If so how did you work through it and if you don't mind, what was the issue?

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[Shatani]

oh yes!!! its impossible NOT to have countertransference....people elicit feelings from you whether you like it or not...and you can choose to pretend its not happening (which ive seen) or you can embrace and explore it....i think countertransference becomes dangerous (or an issue) when we are not willing to examine it.

im on my way out right now....but i'll tell you all about my countertransference issues with one particular client later

 

[Annakei]

I agree. I think lately Ive dodged my first by asking my supervisor to transfer this particular client off my case load. The first was a woman who's son has HIV. She was terribly depressed and on meds at the time. She would often have crying spells in my office and it was a mess!!! The issue for me was that my father died of AIDS some years ago. Seeing her cry the way she did elicited the same feelings and emotions I had when I found out my father passed so it made it hard to work with her because I hadnt worked through my own feelings of grief and loss. She was already mourning his death in her mind. I tried to put my own feelings aside but each time we met I'd end up crying in my office after she left because of those same feelings of grief. I didnt feel as though I could serve her well because my own feelings were wrapped up in the situation.

She ended up being discharged because she left the state so it wasnt anything I had to deal with long term. For me I tend to think it was a sign of weakness, perhaps inability to work it through long term had she stayed with us. But things just have a way of working things out. There are clients that URK MY LIVING SOUL but there are clients that touch a part of you that you never thought they could....

My most recent worked my nerves, I don't know if it is because she is extremely psychotic and nonresponsive to meds or my impatience to deal with the personal insults, physical assaults, and threats to bodily harm. She threatened to hit me in the doctor's office and I broke down in the psychiatrist's office in our conference before she came in. So my supervisor is doing the face to face with her and Im doing all the admistrative coordination: payeeship forms, calling old shelters to get her things and relaying messages from the psych hospital. I know I need to be abreast of de-escalation techniques and trying to do some reading on it too.

 

[Shatani]

well, you should certainly never sacrifice your own well-being for a client! if shes assaulting you, then yeah you need to not see her anymore...

in regards to the woman whose son died of AIDS....i dont think your response was was a sign of weakness at all....i kind of see it as extreme empathy! yes, you absolutely did have your own stuff to work out, but im not sure that it would have prevented you from helping her. it is REALLY tough being a therapist who has issues (trust me, i know!) and thats why i think ALL therapists should have their own therapy....

my most recent countertransference issue is hate....my supervisor and i see this couple, and i absolutely HATE the husband! im not super fond of the wife, but i really cant stand the husband....and theres nothing wrong with hating a client, as long as you admit it, acknowledge it and explore it....it only becomes a problem when you refuse to acknowledge it...then it comes out in other ways.

but in exploring the reason why i hated him, i realized that hes a lot like my father (whom i havent spoken to since i was 13)....and so watching him treat his wife the way my father treated my mother brought up some feelings! now, putting that aside, i was able to look at the couple more objectively....i still cant stand him, but thats because hes an awful person