crazy plan?

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TacoGirl

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I know we are all sick of hearing this sort of stuff...but oh well, I need advice.

I'm married and 24 (hubby is 25) and a second year student. I am thinking of taking the plunge and getting pregnant this christmas. I was then thinking it would be nice to just take a year off and be a SAHM for a year and then go to my third year after that. I am hoping to do EM (not sure if this is competative or not). I make pretty good grades (honors and high pass) but I'm worried the year off will look bad.
Also...thinking about research. Can this be done at home or with minimal hours. Something in EM perhaps. Will that help with the appearences??

I know i'm pretty young but for some crazy, illogical reason, we have been baby crazy for the last year and are thinking only "baby, baby, baby". Everybody says, "wait, wait, wait." My hubby is great...sweet, responsible, has a good job, is definatly willing to help out. I've got the family in town to boot.

but maybe I"m just hormonal????
What do you guys think of my crazy plan??
 
WAIT. Too young and youre in med school. Whats all the rush of marrying and having babies nowdays! 😉
 
My first reaction is "wait!" However I have known 2 people who got pregnant and had children during residency (one of those was during intern year) and it proved to be absolute hell. So, if you are unwilling to wait until after you have completed residency (as an aside EM is becoming increasingly competitive, the programs are either 3 years or 4), then perhaps now would not be the worst time.
 
I was a residency baby, and not by design. I strongly suggest you look at the financial aspects of this decision before you make the plunge, I litterally put my dad into the welfare bracket (which he choose not to take and instead "moonlight" on top of residency.) This is of course in addition to the physical and mental issues you and your son/daughter to be will have with being seperated from you 80+ hours a week. Not that it cant be done, but I strongly suggest you examine all the options.
 
money is not an issue. My hubby has a good job (around 60,000/yr).
 
I say, if you're ready, go for it! There are a million reasons for not wanting to wait 5 or 6 more years to get started on a family; I know I can't be that patient! Obviously there's a lot involved in the decision (which I'm sure you've already thought about), but if you've considered it from all angles and you still want to do it, I say go for it. There will NEVER be a "good" time to have children from now on. So instead of being miserable trying to plan the rest of your life around the mythical "perfect time", you should just go for it when you and your husband are both ready. You'll work it all out when the time comes 🙂

Good luck!
 
TacoGirl said:
I am hoping to do EM (not sure if this is competative or not). I make pretty good grades (honors and high pass) but I'm worried the year off will look bad.
Click to expand...

I wouldn't worry too much about the year off as far as residencies go. I can't imagine that many would care much, especially if you told them why. I know quite a few students at my school took that year off for entirely random reasons (travel, working random job unrelated to medicine, family issues, etc.) and none of them seemed to think it mattered in the match.

Like others have said, if everything else you've considered makes it seem that now is the time, don't let worrying about how it will effect getting into residency stop you. Best of luck. :luck:
 
TacoGirl said:
What do you guys think of my crazy plan??
Click to expand...

I say start with the baby-making. Is it ever going to get any easier? Maybe when you're 40 and you have to worry about down syndrome and chasing your kids around the house when you're perimenopausal. Besides...if this is Larissa...you and your husband bound to have some cute cuddly babies.
 
I have several friend who had babies during medical school. I can't offer direct advice as I'm not in that situation, but I know they told by some that it's easier during M4 or later in residency. Or, some took a year off to get an MPH (grad school classes are much less intense than med school courses, and more manageable than clinical years). If you want to do research, you may be able to do clinical research in EM through Doris Duke (which is a good resume builder anyhow). (Again, one of my friends did research and had a reasonable mentor who allowed her to do some work from home).

Of course, this is all relative short term perspective. I also can't comment on how this translates to being a parent of a 2-3 year old during residency, etc.
 
TacoGirl said:
I know we are all sick of hearing this sort of stuff...but oh well, I need advice.

I'm married and 24 (hubby is 25) and a second year student. I am thinking of taking the plunge and getting pregnant this christmas. I was then thinking it would be nice to just take a year off and be a SAHM for a year and then go to my third year after that. I am hoping to do EM (not sure if this is competative or not). I make pretty good grades (honors and high pass) but I'm worried the year off will look bad.
Also...thinking about research. Can this be done at home or with minimal hours. Something in EM perhaps. Will that help with the appearences??

I know i'm pretty young but for some crazy, illogical reason, we have been baby crazy for the last year and are thinking only "baby, baby, baby". Everybody says, "wait, wait, wait." My hubby is great...sweet, responsible, has a good job, is definatly willing to help out. I've got the family in town to boot.

but maybe I"m just hormonal????
What do you guys think of my crazy plan??
Click to expand...

It sounds like you realize that you're going to have to make some priority decisions.

Can you have a baby while in medical school/residency? Of course. People do, pretty routinely.

Can you have a baby while in medical school/residency and still do well? Well...I don't know. To give women the benefit of the doubt - probably.

Can you have one of the stinky ****ers while in medical school/residency and have the time/energy to do research? You're pushing it and you know it.

Can you have a crying screaming ****ing constantly attention-hungry little bugger while in medical school/residency and do research and do well? Unless you're phenomenally phenomenal, your chances of handling it all are nonexistant.

The bottom line is, you have to decide whether your career (and what aspects of your career) is (are) more important than this admittedly illogical and possibly hormonally-driven idea to get pregnant.

While it's a nice thought to be stellar med student/resident, dedicated mom, sharp researcher, & a human being all rolled up into one (and certainly it is probably "possible" in rare instances). Consider that medical school classes are comprised of people who have generally proven themselves to be capable of "well-rounded excellence" (bad term, but you get the idea) upon entrance (GPA, MCAT, EC's, leadership, work experience, volunteering, awards, overcoming obstacles, intelligence), and consider that most struggle with medical school alone (with a smattering of projects or interest groups or volunteering once or twice a term). You know what medical school's like. It's your call on how much harder you want to make it.

Part of me wants to see you do it anyway, out of morbid curiosity. Like watching a waiter from across a restaurant holding a stack of dishes run into someone. Sure, you probably could have screamed out at the top of your lungs across the crowded restaurant to get his attention and save him a little trouble, but chances are, he's still going to run into that fat lady's ass and spill that leftover lamb chuntney and clam chowder all over himself, and probably half of table 15.
 
Do it. You are the perfect biological age to have a baby (if you are "just hormonal" there is probably a good reason!), and if you wait 10 yrs there is a possibility that you may not be able to conceive without assistance or at all. Regardless, the risk of all kinds of problems increases with increasing age. Taking a year off to care for your child will certainly not look bad. I think it is also reasonable to find a faculty member who is willing to take you on to help with some research, probably not at home, but certainly part-time . . . . best of luck with whatever you decide.
 
I'll add my vote to starting a family. However, just a word of caution from my own experience. Even though you're young, it's surprisingly hard to plan exactly when you will get pregnant. I would say go for it and when it happens, you will be happy.
 
el chavo, did you have your baby during medical school? how do you juggle being a mom and a med student?
 
I'm a med student (M1) with a 15 month old and a 3 1/2 year old. My son has been sick for the last week and I have missed every class since the beginning of the block (a week ago) in addition to this, I have had no time to study since he's been sick. I love my children, and wouldn't un-do them in any way, but I'm certainly am not looking to have any more and if I knew what I know when I got pregnant, I would've waited.
 
It depends on your priorities (which only you should decide). Babies are never "convenient." They are selfish and demanding by nature. They don't "understand" and behave themselves or stay healthy just because you have a block of tests coming up or are working all night. By the way, when they get sick, you can't just drop them off with a caregiver -- you will need to get a nanny or watch them yourself. Clearly some med schools, residencies are more compatible with "life" than others (although all are challenging). You'll need to assess what you have already committed to (your med school program) and make sure that you face reality on that. Have others had babies in that program and how did it go? I plan to go to Baylor, and one student told about her experiences having 2 babies in med school and she thought it went well. I get the impression that programs vary on this. Reality is your friend.

You WILL need to make some compromises in most professional careers (especially in medicine) to have a family that actually knows who you are. If you aim to be the best at everything, your family will most likely bear the brunt because most of its members cannot kick you out or fire you. You can just fail them and the consequences are unpleasant. If you choose two incompatible responsibilties, you will fail to live up to one or both. For point of reference, I'm entering med school with 5 young kids and a very supportive & capable spouse. I have no illusions about the difficulty of this, but I'm looking forward to it.
 
Curb your emotions and be rational. You're in school to be a professional, for Heaven's sake. Hopefully you won't make decisions for your patients based completely on emotion.
 
H_Caulfield said:
Curb your emotions and be rational. You're in school to be a professional, for Heaven's sake. Hopefully you won't make decisions for your patients based completely on emotion.
Click to expand...

Yes, it's completely irrational for a married couple in thier mid-20s to want to have children. Nevermind the fact that her husband has a stable job and decent income, and that she has a support network to help her take care of the baby (her family is in the area).

There are rational reasons in favor of her having a baby now. Baby now is easier than baby during residency, or fellowship, years down the line. Depending on what specialty she wants to enter, the graduate medical training can last between 3 and 7 years. Tack on the other 2 years from finishing the undergrad med and you're talking about having a kid 5-9 years from now; she could be 33 by then, and that's getting up there close to advanced maternal age (>35 years).
 
Oh and I get so pissed when people say stupid **** like "hopefully you wont so-and-so with your patients"

talk about asking for a bitchslap across the face! **** you, doctors are humans too, they're entitled to be pissy, emotional, childish, whatever, doctors are human beings too, stfu.
 
I wouldn't try to raise a family on only 60K/year where I live (a very cheap part of the country).

Do you want to stay at your school for EM? I only ask because there are no allo programs in my state for EM. If you aren't planning on moving around and don't want to wait another 6 years to finish training, then now is as good a time as any.
 
crazy_cavalier said:
Oh and I get so pissed when people say stupid **** like "hopefully you wont so-and-so with your patients"

talk about asking for a bitchslap across the face! **** you, doctors are humans too, they're entitled to be pissy, emotional, childish, whatever, doctors are human beings too, stfu.
Click to expand...

I guess I expect that sort of idiocy from a poster who calls himself H Caulfield.
 
crazy_cavalier said:
Oh and I get so pissed when people say stupid **** like "hopefully you wont so-and-so with your patients"

talk about asking for a bitchslap across the face! **** you, doctors are humans too, they're entitled to be pissy, emotional, childish, whatever, doctors are human beings too, stfu.
Click to expand...

I think Mr. Caulfield's a troll. You know, if we were only "rational" when it came to making decisions like having a child, no one would reproduce. 🙂

To the op, lots of people have done it. If your support network is strong and the finances are okay (sounds like that is), then I'd say go for it if it's what you really want.
 
I am a 4th year student woth 3 children ( ages 10,8,3). Is having kids stressful? Yes! However, they are also a great joy! There is never a perfect time to have children and medical school certainly offers more flexibility than residency with regards to taking a year off. Having a child between years or after 4th year and deferring the match for a year are all options. I would recommend planning well regarding support and childcare. It can get complicated, but a supportive husband and nearby family has helped me more than I can say.
 
LuckyBambooGirl said:
el chavo, did you have your baby during medical school? how do you juggle being a mom and a med student?
Click to expand...

Uh actually that would be my wife, and I'm the one in school. And in our case, we wanted to have a baby at a certain time and it hasn't happened yet. That's the other side of the coin.
 
now is probably the best time....

if not, then 4th year. but then you'll be traveling around for interviews.

so i'd say now.

have him pound that taco, TacoGirl. And if he can't, I'll be happy to pound it for you.
 
wow...thanks for the responses.

To that guy that said I should be rational and not be emotional w/ my patients:

Geeze. I'm not a crazy hormonally charged psycho. I obviously have enough sense/sanity to get through college and get into med school. And having SOME emotion is not a bad thing at all...its called being a human being.

I appreciate those of you who stood up for me against that guy.

I'm aware that this is a big decision and its not the first time this topic has come up in the last year or so and we have mulled over the pros/cons and "what is the right thing to do's"

I'm not really concerned about, "are we ready" as much as I worry taking a year off will hurt me academically. Will i forget everything in the first two years and be a horrible third year 😱 ???I know I am ready to have a child and my husband is all but bursting (hehe) 😉 with enthusiasm to get started. But i know that residency will not allow me to take much time off and neither will my "real" job when I get into practice.

thanks for the advice guys
 
double post...oops
 
I can't say how residency programs will view you taking a year off, but I am confident that taking a year off after second year will not have any big effect on your performance on rotations. Clinical rotations are different than classes and as long as you come back ready to work and participate you should be ok. I can say that taking time off between third and fourth year makes a difference in how comfortable you feel (I got deployed in the Army for 14 months and came back feeling like a loser for having forgotten things like how to do certain notes admission orders, but I had my cheat sheets from before and it came back after doing it a few weeks). With that in mind you might feel the typical med student feeling of not knowing what you are doing and you may THINK it is because your year off. Only you know how well you can deal with feeling like you are at a disadvantage (even if you really aren't). If you are the type of person that will decide to work harder so that you can "catch up" you should be ok. If you are the kind of person that gets overwhelmed and gives up then I would think twice about adding to your stress. Good luck with your decision.
 
Thanks for all of the advice, guys. We have decided....drum roll please....

to take the plunge!!! AHHHH!!!! its scary...But also very exciting!


now...to get back to taco banging, haha
 
double post again, ooops
 
sacallaco said:
WAIT. Too young and youre in med school. Whats all the rush of marrying and having babies nowdays! 😉
Click to expand...

Research showing that up to 30 is your prime and after 30.. the quality of egg goes down..
 
So taco, do you guys have any preference regarding having boys vs. girls? This topic's come up a number of times in the lounge... anyway I mention this because there's a couple theories floating around out there about circumstances of conception that favor either a boy or a girl.
 
Polska said:
Don't listen to this guy.. Doctors who end up treating medicine as their life instead of their job end up dying young.. You obviously can get high grades while keeping a relationship and even have the time to pop a baby out..

Have a life. If you study your life away.. You'll be like the top doctors are right now with the resourceful generation just Googling the diagnosis..

Googling the Diagnosis?
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/healthnews.php?newsid=56409
Click to expand...

Yeah. Listen to "Polska". The world is all puppy dogs and ice cream, and we'll all have solid diamond houses with automatic respect from everyone in the world. The president will call in our pizza orders.
 
Northerner said:
Yeah. Listen to "Polska". The world is all puppy dogs and ice cream, and we'll all have solid diamond houses with automatic respect from everyone in the world. The president will call in our pizza orders.
Click to expand...

Someone's a little disgruntled
 
My wife and I have a 2 year old. It is very hard. He costs me a lot of money. I still wouldn't have done it differently. It'll be a little harder for you, because both of you are busy, while my wife is able to mostly stay home. Organize childcare for the long run first. If you think you can pull off third year, you can definitely make it work.
 
Polska said:
youre a 30 yr old who wasted their prime.. now the only people that want you are 40 yr old divorcees..

Couple that with the chance that your baby has some deformities..


You get my point..
Click to expand...

Wow, I didn't know I was such a has been at 30. Well, at least the 40 year old divorced dudes dig me (umm, btw "divorcee" would be female). 🙄
 
I'm an MSI with two kids, an 8yo and an 11yo. I put off school for my children, a fact that came back to haunt me. However, in many ways it has prepared me well for this career path I'm finally embarking on. And I have an immensely supportive husband.

Even as I sit here and type this, my children are around me, playing, making noise, fighting, etc. Can I study while this is going on? NO. so you lose study time. Does it give me a life outside of school that I wouldn't trade for the world? YES.

Are children expensive? HELL YES. You have no idea. No idea at all. OH MY LORD. But the paybacks and rewards are incalculable.

As for getting pg when you want to. I know some folks this has worked for. Didn't work for me. Specialists, drugs, procedures... my children each took well over a year of medical intervention to conceive. Pregnancy isn't one of those things you can usually go to the grocery store for and have delivered ("Oh, yes, Pregnancy Planning? Yes, I'd like a pregnancy delivered to me on Saturday at 10:42 pm, please. Yes, a boy please. Uh-huh. Yup, someone will be home to sign for it. Thank you."). So if it doesn't quite go according to plan, don't give up hope.

As for which is easier. I have one boy and one girl. The girl was MUCH easier when she was smaller. But as they get older, the boy is seeming easier. Perhaps because my girl is getting to that lovely "pre-teen-my-mother-is-a-*****" age. My girl was easier to potty train and far less "needy" than my boy, but this may also just be their personalities.

Whatever your decision, remember that the pregnancy itself will also take a toll. I was exhausted the first and last trimester. The water retention in the last trimester was... um... ghastly (can you say +3 pitting edema?) And I felt like a beached whale that needed a crane to get out of a chair. In medical school you might want to take a look at your schedule - if you're going to have an OB module while you're pg, you might be the "star student". I also found myself very forgetful in my last trimester. Like looking for my glasses while they were on my face forgetful. No kidding.

All that being said, becoming a mother is a very personal decision. And if you feel it's right, go for it. It's definitely one of the most rewarding things I've ever been part of. Underappreciated, underestimated, underpaid, overworked, and immensely satisfying. Wouldn't change it for the world. Good luck to you.
 
noelleruckman said:
I'm a med student (M1) with a 15 month old and a 3 1/2 year old. My son has been sick for the last week and I have missed every class since the beginning of the block (a week ago) in addition to this, I have had no time to study since he's been sick. I love my children, and wouldn't un-do them in any way, but I'm certainly am not looking to have any more and if I knew what I know when I got pregnant, I would've waited.
Click to expand...

So I said this a couple of days ago.... and then yesterday I looked at my son, (who is still a handful from being sick) and realized he needs a brother to play with and if I'm going to do it, I better do it soon.... so ever since then I've been thinking about getting pregnant again. I think its a cycle I go through. My babies get to about 15 months and I think, hmmm, I want another one. Its a good thing my depo lasts another two months, I have some time to realize how crazy I'm being. (yes I really have been thinking this way, no I don't seriously see me trying to get pregnant any time soon, two is difficult (and expensive) enough)
 
crazy_cavalier said:
So taco, do you guys have any preference regarding having boys vs. girls? This topic's come up a number of times in the lounge... anyway I mention this because there's a couple theories floating around out there about circumstances of conception that favor either a boy or a girl.
Click to expand...


We are cool w/ either gender. I kind of want a boy myself because I grew up in a family of ALL girls and it was crazy when we all got our period at once!

I've heard about some of those gender determination tricks...like if you have the big O (boy) or not (girl). I guess that means I'll have a boy, hopefully (haha).😉

As for that rapid stretching video...oh my god :scared: !!! I will be a beached whale before its through...goodbye tiny bikinis for me! The 12s doesn't seem so bad...and yes, I'll be taking step one as a beached baby whale. :laugh:

haha
 
start with a gold fish.
 
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