Dateless and overworked

[ShortDoctor]

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I understand medicine, as harped on by all our favorite administrators, needs to be 99% of your life. But the other 1% of my life is pretty bleak as well. Currently in residency approaching my mid-30's. I'm a pretty short dude 5'5 and Asian male so I don't have much (well any) experience with the opposite sex. Still a virgin and dateless. Online dating doesn't really work since height is a big factor in getting a date online. Does it get better? I really can't see myself ever being able to attain any sort of romantic relationships. I wish I were manufactured to only care about my work like when I was younger. But now that I'm getting up there in age, I seem to be longing for company more often than not. Apologies in advance for my whining.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

See my thread in Spouses & Partners. Get ready for hilarity (or tears).

 

[ShortDoctor]

I'm an involuntary virgin who is almost in his mid-30's. I'm as big a loser as they come.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

OK, dude, chill out. Like, spamming three threads about it in a span of five minutes just gets irritating. Plus, you don't write anything more substantial than "my life sucks." You're just coming off as a troll and nobody's going to write anything back.

 

[rokshana]

I understand medicine, as harped on by all our favorite administrators, needs to be 99% of your life. But the other 1% of my life is pretty bleak as well. Currently in residency approaching my mid-30's. I'm a pretty short dude 5'5 and Asian male so I don't have much (well any) experience with the opposite sex. Still a virgin and dateless. Online dating doesn't really work since height is a big factor in getting a date online. Does it get better? I really can't see myself ever being able to attain any sort of romantic relationships. I wish I were manufactured to only care about my work like when I was younger. But now that I'm getting up there in age, I seem to be longing for company more often than not. Apologies in advance for my whining.

you're Asian for heaven sakes! Do you not have a mother or aunties to get you married off?

 

[ruralsurg4now]

you're Asian for heaven sakes! Do you not have a mother or aunties to get you married off?

Isn't that making an assumption that he wants to marry other Asians?

 

[ShortDoctor]

you're Asian for heaven sakes! Do you not have a mother or aunties to get you married off?

I'm East Asian, not South Asian. Also my parents don't know anyone. I'm more focused on taking care of them right now.

 

[KnuxNole]

Have you tried dating sites already? You never know...you can get some good responses if you try.

What kind of area do you live at(urban, suburban, rural)? You can see if co-residents have any gatherings/hang out with friends and meet people. There's also meetup.com, which can be another option. Bars are hit or miss, but if nothing else, can be something to try once or twice.

I dunno which administrators are telling you medicine needs to be 99% of your life. You need balance in your life!

 

[ShortDoctor]

Have you tried dating sites already? You never know...you can get some good responses if you try.

What kind of area do you live at(urban, suburban, rural)? You can see if co-residents have any gatherings/hang out with friends and meet people. There's also meetup.com, which can be another option. Bars are hit or miss, but if nothing else, can be something to try once or twice.

I dunno which administrators are telling you medicine needs to be 99% of your life. You need balance in your life!

I've tried okcupid and Match and have had no luck on both. Most of my co-residents are married, some of the married females say things like "Just be yourself and you'll be golden" but when I ask them to introduce me to anyone they usually say something like "I don't know anyone who deserves you." I don't want to push the issue since I like separation between my personal and professional life.

 

[rkaz]

I find it kinda sad that you think you are a loser for still being a virgin in your 30s. Why does not sleeping around make someone a loser? On some level, I actually think it's highly commendable. I personally would strongly prefer to marry a guy who believes in waiting until after marriage for intimacy... but have this view BY CHOICE, and not because he couldn't get anyone to sleep with him. I find the former to be rather attractive and intriguing... while the later seems a little desperate and scares me away.

A healthy confidence (not arrogance) is what is really attractive to others to want to get to know you more, while desperation and insecurity just makes others back off. Yes, some women may care about your height - but some won't. And in order to get those who are open to you as you are, you have to be more confident about your salient points, rather than seeing yourself as some loser.

 

[Jay K]

Aside from medicine, you've said nothing about interests, hobbies or your physical fitness. It might have less to do with you being short or Asian, than being one-dimensional and out-of-shape (of course I'm just speculating).

The bright side is you can become more interesting via your interests, gain hobbies and become physically fit (and more attractive in that sense). If it's your personality, that too can change.

You'll notice the emphasis on change. Those who are telling you to "just be yourself" are simply patronizing you and taking the easy way out.

Like in any situation, you'll have to invest time and effort. Putting up a profile online is neither significant investment or effort in making you attractive to the opposite sex.

Also, most people could use some work on their game.

 

[Neuronix]

Making two threads on the same topic is not permitted. If you wish to reply, go here: http://forums.studentdoctor.net/thr...-kiss-of-death-for-dating-in-america.1044821/