.
Last edited:
-
CycleTrack and SDN are teaming up to make medical school admissions more transparent and accessible! Read the announcement to learn how we’re supporting the future of CycleTrack’s free application-tracking tools .
Dating among residents
Started by studdoc314
Get help with your application
Use all the free resources available to you from SDN: articles, guides, expert advising, forums discussions, and school research.
I've met a mix. I'd guesstimate that about 40% of the female residents I've worked with have been single and totally unattached. It varies from program to program, as well as from specialty to specialty. I feel like more of the female residents in lifestyle specialties were in serious relationships/married, whereas it was easier to find single residents in more time intensive specialties. But that's just a gross generalization.
As for finding a future MD, be careful of dipping into the company inkwell when thinking about dating other people in your program. And be extra careful around med students. Other specialties may be ok.
Any particular reason why you want to marry another doctor? Just curious.
So she could cover my call when i'm vacationing in the Cayman Islands? 😀.
Okay, fine. Nvm.
from what i've read on sdn, dating another resident is a wise avenue to pursue and is not fraught with any potential complications. you'd be foolish not to!
Being married to a doctor would really suck. Ask my wife.
SDN has led you astray.
Yeah, in medicine, I don't think talking about work is a particularly positive thing given the precious little time you will have away from it, even if the person with whom you're talking knows exactly where you're coming from. If anything, your problems just get compounded.
Lack of sarcasm awareness has led YOU astray.
I'm in a small program with 1 female out of 3 spots. However, I know this is the exception. From the looks of it, most of the bigger programs (medicine and peds mostly) are close to 50/50 with obviously statistical variations from year to year. I think someone's breakdown in this thread was pretty good with the 50/50 and then the 50/50 of the "single" 50.
If you match in a big city, odds are you'll more likely find single co-residents. However, it also means there is a bigger dating pool so you'll be "competing" with non-medical people for the single lady MD's that you prefer. It also means you'll have more non-MD females to pursue as well. I imagine smaller cities (<200,000 or so) probably have less single females or males in their residency programs.
The way I see it, it's risky to date within your class or specialty even if you are in a bigger field such as medicine. In a field like mine, I would imagine nearly 0% of the residents date each other or people above or below them. People in other specialties are probably better candidates. Also, if you're in a big city, you have other residency programs that you can tap into. For some reason when you hang out or go out you'll always meet a friend of a friend of a friend who's a resident at XYZ and is single so the odds are good to meet people.
Lastly, although I see nothing wrong with dating another MD, it can be nice to be dating/married to someone not in the field. If you're worried about not being "stimulated" or not having things in common, that's as likely to happen dating a MD as someone who isn't in medicine. Personally, I have never been attracted to nurses (not physically but personality-wise) so I do find it the MD/nurse combo quite odd. There's someone for everyone...probably? 😍
The heart can't help who it loves, so if that happens to be another doc...so be it. But marrying somebody just so you have something to talk about at dinner is some remarkably weak reasoning. I'm an oncologist, my wife is a performing artist and runs an arts/education non-profit....we have plenty to talk about, including our jobs.
And your lack of awareness of my sarcasm awareness as led you astray. I can do this all day.
Congratulations on finally becoming a new attending. I just now noticed. Best wishes as you enter a higher (I prefer to think of it as a lower) plane of medical politicking, and may God have mercy on the souls of all your future residents/fellows. jk
I'm a fellow. After med school and residency (6 days per week for 4 yrs), I fear that I've lost the ability to have a relationship with anyone who isn't in medicine.
1. I'm sick of the hospital, but I don't have anything else to talk about. I haven't seen a movie in years and I don't watch tv. I do workout and socialize, but it just feels like nothing goes anywhere... even just finding friends outside of medicine. It probably doesn't help that I'm a former engineer/jock who hasn't generated a single thought about art in his entire life.
2. No one can handle the fact that I'm always on pager call- 24/7 for 14 days at a time, then in the OR for 2 weeks of 6 days per week.
I just turned 35 and all of the other fellows and residents in my program are either married, foreign or frat boys.
1. I'm sick of the hospital, but I don't have anything else to talk about. I haven't seen a movie in years and I don't watch tv. I do workout and socialize, but it just feels like nothing goes anywhere... even just finding friends outside of medicine. It probably doesn't help that I'm a former engineer/jock who hasn't generated a single thought about art in his entire life.
2. No one can handle the fact that I'm always on pager call- 24/7 for 14 days at a time, then in the OR for 2 weeks of 6 days per week.
I just turned 35 and all of the other fellows and residents in my program are either married, foreign or frat boys.
Join a dating website. It's basically a bunch of desperate girls who will jump all over your doctor butt. Is it the ideal/totally social norm thing to do? no. But does it work? yes. Good luck bro.
No, don't join a dating site. Yet anyway. You need to incorporate something non-medical into your life first. You still need to have something to talk about with a potential date other than work even if you meet someone on a dating site. It's hard when work is all you do or have time for, but you'll still seem one dimensional otherwise. take a cooking class, art class, record a tv show/series you can watch on your down time, take a fitness class, something that gets you interacting with other people outside of medicine and gives you something else to talk about.
uh... the guy doesn't have time to do that stuff. In fact most people with full time jobs don't have the time and so I can assure you a surgeon does not have the time. Lots of people in my med school used dating sites to meet people. It works was my point and is great for people with not a lot of time or opportunities to meet people.
Soparklion is very busy,
he's a surgeon
he's very very busy.
Dating sites are OK just to take a look around...occasionally I've met people on there but a lot of the people are probably not compatible with you, necessarily. As a male doctor I'm sure he can probably find someone on there to hook up with, if he wants that. He sounds like he doesn't necessarily want a random hookup.
Maybe he can meet someone working out...join a fitness Meetup group or something.
It is definitely hard when you have excessive call...other people with demanding jobs like doctors, lawyers, etc. may be more understanding than others.
Surgical residency is damn hard and I don't see how people do it. Ditto for interventional cards fellowship. It is brutal.
And I am a cardiologist, by the way.
And women don't really care if you know a lot about art...unless maybe someone is an artist and that is the main thing important to her. Women care if you listen to what is coming out of our mouths and act interested (or at least put on a good act that you are interested...while thinking about other stuff...LOL).
he's a surgeon
he's very very busy.
Dating sites are OK just to take a look around...occasionally I've met people on there but a lot of the people are probably not compatible with you, necessarily. As a male doctor I'm sure he can probably find someone on there to hook up with, if he wants that. He sounds like he doesn't necessarily want a random hookup.
Maybe he can meet someone working out...join a fitness Meetup group or something.
It is definitely hard when you have excessive call...other people with demanding jobs like doctors, lawyers, etc. may be more understanding than others.
Surgical residency is damn hard and I don't see how people do it. Ditto for interventional cards fellowship. It is brutal.
And I am a cardiologist, by the way.
And women don't really care if you know a lot about art...unless maybe someone is an artist and that is the main thing important to her. Women care if you listen to what is coming out of our mouths and act interested (or at least put on a good act that you are interested...while thinking about other stuff...LOL).
I think you might've missed my point a bit. I was addressing this post with some suggestions (and certainly not suggesting he need to do all of them) . He said " I'm sick of the hospital, but I don't have anything else to talk about. I haven't seen a movie in years and I don't watch tv. I do workout and socialize, but it just feels like nothing goes anywhere... even just finding friends outside of medicine. It probably doesn't help that I'm a former engineer/jock who hasn't generated a single thought about art in his entire life."
I wasn't advocating against using dating sites at all, just that once you get a date, it helps if you have something other than work to talk about. At least if you want it to progress. When work dominates your life, that's difficult. I'm surrounded by residents in a variety of specialties, including busy surgical ones who still manage to carve out just a little time for something else. So taking a one time cooking class on a night off gets him away from the hospital and meeting some different people, taking an art class might too but he doesn't need to be able to discuss art theory to get a lady, there's a Halloween kayaking trek here one night during a full moon that might be interesting, and recording a tv show to watch over dinner is reasonable, just possibilities with little to no schedule commitment.
The point is there are a lot of non-medical things going on out there that have short or one time commitments to help him get out there despite his insane schedule.
Finally, online dating is a great way to meet people if you're pressed for time, but the people I know who've done it for that reason still run into trouble when they try to take it off line because developing a relationship takes a time investment.
(As for the comment about regular people just working full-time not having time, I beg to differ. I work one full time professional job, one part time gig, and commute 75 miles to another city for graduate school 3 times a week and still managed to take a metal sculpture class. A lot of adults work full-time and still manage to do intra-mural sports, have a weekly pub meetup, join a book club, etc)
