Dating as a Peds Resident

[Chianti]

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Just wondering how realistic it is for a Peds resident to actually meet someone and develop a serious relationship while a Peds resident, given how intense the residency is. Or should it be accepted that the personal life should be put on the back-burner for 3 years?

 

[oldbearprofessor]

Just wondering how realistic it is for a Peds resident to actually meet someone and develop a serious relationship while a Peds resident, given how intense the residency is. Or should it be accepted that the personal life should be put on the back-burner for 3 years?

I don't have enough fingers and toes to count the number of pedi residents I've known who met and married someone they hadn't previously known during their residency. Happens all the time, both genders. Never put your life on the back-burner during medical training. Now we can wait for the naysayers to post. 😛

 

[oompaloompa]

I don't have enough fingers and toes to count the number of pedi residents I've known who met and married someone they hadn't previously known during their residency. Happens all the time, both genders. Never put your life on the back-burner during medical training. Now we can wait for the naysayers to post. 😛

Definately not a naysayer, but I would temper with some realism since I don't know anything about your situation or what city you'll be in. I completely agree that you should never put your life on the back-burner, but this goes even(especially) if you are single! For various reasons everyone in my class that started out single is still single, but mostly because we want to be. Especially that first year you are going to want to be very selfish about your energy and free time since you will have so little of it. Since new relationships require lots of these two resources it may be more difficult.

Not impossible, difficult. My humble advice would be to take care of yourself first, second - be the best resident you can be, third - once you feel more confident about the above, do what makes you happy(which may or may not involve a relationship). Anyway, my two cents.

Personal pet peeve - If you're more interested in being a stay-at-home mom than being a doctor, than do us all a favor and quit right now. You will resent your job because it takes away time from your child, but will be unable to quit because of debt. This will put you in a pissy mood and your multiple absences and half-@ss work ethic will make your coworkers hate you. Not fun for anyone. Of course some people do both and excel at it. Be realistic about whether you are willing to make the sacrifices involved to make it work.

 

[TexasRose]

Personal pet peeve - If you're more interested in being a stay-at-home mom than being a doctor, than do us all a favor and quit right now. You will resent your job because it takes away time from your child, but will be unable to quit because of debt. This will put you in a pissy mood and your multiple absences and half-@ss work ethic will make your coworkers hate you. Not fun for anyone. Of course some people do both and excel at it. Be realistic about whether you are willing to make the sacrifices involved to make it work.

Blanket statements like this on a thread that has nothing to do with this topic is in poor taste, IMO. Makes it sound like you're a single resident with a chip on your shoulder. Surely that wasn't what you intended.

 

[Different Breed]

I like this topic. If you are a ped's resident and the child is your patient. Does that make the single mother or father fair game?

My own personal guess would be.... OF COURSE!!!! 😍

 

[oompaloompa]

Blanket statements like this on a thread that has nothing to do with this topic is in poor taste, IMO. Makes it sound like you're a single resident with a chip on your shoulder. Surely that wasn't what you intended.

Of course this is the first time a tangential topic was brought up on a thread on SDN 🙄

This comment is not directed to the OP or anyone on SDN, that's why it's an addendum marked "personal pet peeve". However, it was not my intent to cause personal offense, so for that I will apologize.

Not for the sentiment, though. I think your generalization of me is just as unfair. As though a "single resident" is somehow inadequate and must have something against their peers with families. That's ridiculous and actually kind of offensive.

I believe it to be normal, healthy, and desirable to marry and have children at whatever stage in life you can handle the responsibility.

I applaud my coworker's decision to have another child. I just don't want to do another month in the NICU because she did.

That being said, Texas Rose does have a valid point when she says this not is not closely related to the topic. Now that I've vented, I will officially bow out. Apologies for any disturbance.

 

[BigRedBeta]

I think it's like anything, it's all about priorities. Make time for the things that matter to you.

 

[DOme2009]

damn, i thought this thread was gonna be full of tips about how to date a peds resident - i need to read the titles more thoroughly 🙄

 

[twilightdoc]

I like this topic. If you are a ped's resident and the child is your patient. Does that make the single mother or father fair game?

My own personal guess would be.... OF COURSE!!!! 😍

Responding to the post about potentially dating the parent of a peds patient of yours. That poses a serious professional boundary violation- the parents of peds patients are "surrogates", and the same boundaries between physician and patient must be upheld. And if you think that physician/patient romance is acceptable, I urge you to seek counseling immediately before you do harm to yourself or others.

But back to the original topic- most peds residents I have known who entered their residency "single" have managed to have a social life and develop serious relationships. I don't think that Peds is any worse than most other residencies in terms of its effect on your social life. The work week/work day restrictions have made "having a life" outside of medicine much more possible.