dating in surgery?

[GVSUgrad05]

simple question, is it possible? im a trauma nurse and have been playing tag with one of the surgeons in my hospital however i find the relationship or lack there of to not only be tumultuous thus far but also basically a waste, now mind you this is not a resident or attending... is this just a surgeon thing? to be married to work?

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[LucidSplash]

No real answer for you but a question - if he's not an attending or a resident, what is he?

simple question, is it possible? im a trauma nurse and have been playing tag with one of the surgeons in my hospital however i find the relationship or lack there of to not only be tumultuous thus far but also basically a waste, now mind you this is not a resident or attending... is this just a surgeon thing? to be married to work?

 

[GVSUgrad05]

No real answer for you but a question - if he's not an attending or a resident, what is he?

is that a rhetorical question? the guy is like 46 im 28... im incredibly attracted to him in every way... suffice it to say he has been in practice at my hospital for 2 years i have been there five only recently have we been flirting... but it seems his toying with me and im not that type...

 

[Winged Scapula]

is that a rhetorical question? the guy is like 46 im 28... im incredibly attracted to him in every way... suffice it to say he has been in practice at my hospital for 2 years i have been there five only recently have we been flirting... but it seems his toying with me and im not that type...

No real answer for you but a question - if he's not an attending or a resident, what is he?

simple question, is it possible? im a trauma nurse and have been playing tag with one of the surgeons in my hospital however i find the relationship or lack there of to not only be tumultuous thus far but also basically a waste, now mind you this is not a resident or attending... is this just a surgeon thing? to be married to work?

No he's asking who this male surgeon is if he's isn't a resident or an attending. I have the same question myself.

Of course its possible to date surgeons and surgical residents. My ex SO and I met in residency and I had plenty of colleagues that met their SO/spouses in the hospital. But being "married to work" is a common practice for many physicians, especially surgeons. The nature of the work somewhat demands it.

You're fairly vague here about the problems/concerns you're having but you've been given plenty of answers in other threads as to the reasons why you might be having difficulty dating in the hospital:

- he might possibly think you're too young for him
- he might not be interested in dating anyone from work
- he might enjoy flirting with you but is already involved with someone else and doesn't want to take it any further

I might suggest you actually speak to this man about what confuses you; its quite possible that he might be a more reliable source of information than we are.

 

[SOLDIER]

The guy is much to old
The guy sounds like an idiot to me
Like WS go talk to the man maybe he is using u

 

[VincentAdultman]

 

[JackADeli]

...im a trauma nurse and have been playing tag with one of the surgeons in my hospital however i find the relationship or lack there of to not only be tumultuous thus far but also basically a waste...

...im 28... im incredibly attracted to him in every way...only recently have we been flirting... but it seems his toying with me and im not that type...

Are you a stalker!?!?
You are playing "tag"..... you have a "tumultuous"..."lack" of relationship... It just makes no logical sense from an adult perspective. This is NOT a sugeon thing. This is a YOU thing.

You should move on and get a real life with a REAL relationship.

 

[njbmd]

No he's asking who this male surgeon is if he's isn't a resident or an attending. I have the same question myself.

Of course its possible to date surgeons and surgical residents. My ex SO and I met in residency and I had plenty of colleagues that met their SO/spouses in the hospital. But being "married to work" is a common practice for many physicians, especially surgeons. The nature of the work somewhat demands it.

You're fairly vague here about the problems/concerns you're having but you've been given plenty of answers in other threads as to the reasons why you might be having difficulty dating in the hospital:

- he might possibly think you're too young for him
- he might not be interested in dating anyone from work- he might enjoy flirting with you but is already involved with someone else and doesn't want to take it any further

I might suggest you actually speak to this man about what confuses you; its quite possible that he might be a more reliable source of information than we are.

Read the bold over and over several times. There is an unwritten rule that one does not "sh-t where one eats". Myself and my colleagues would never become involved with someone at work. It's nice to have friends at work and occasionally, some relationships have developed between residents but not with nursing staff or any other staff (at least not openly). Move on, this person is likely not interested in getting involved with you.

 

[JackADeli]

I just wanted to comment further, not just because it is a crisp day and I feel frisky.... though that may contribute. Rather, it is the fact that people post supposedly "innocent" questions that when you consider it they are plain insulting. The OP is apparently an adult and as such presumably mature.... However, the question really just plays on stereotypes. That is the thought process of someone that lacks self insight and simply wants an excuse to use and blame another..... Yeh, it's his fault that your not loved.... It has to be cause your the cat's meow... But, just to make my point, I have adjusted the original question to provide clarification....

simple question, is it possible? im a [fill in blank] and have been playing tag with one of the [bankers/lawyers/engineer/pilot/blackman/Latino man/lesbian lady/etc...] in my [place of employment] however i find the relationship or lack there of to not only be tumultuous thus far but also basically a waste... is this just a [banker/lawyer/engineer/pilot/blackman/Latino man/lesbian lady/etc...] thing? to be married to work?

Which option do you have to consider before the offensive nature of the question becomes obvious
I thought I might add some background... all in the same place. Reading it might add some insight for us if not for you...

...been told im hot, i know im smart, id like to think i have all the right attributes but i dont see guys being interested in girls like me...

...im not sure that im quite girlfriend material or that im looking for a boyfriend...

...i don't consider myself unapproachable ...am not interested in the " dating game " considering the fact....

...i find it so hard to believe that a smart, funny, pretty girl cant get asked on a date for s**t.... but my a*s seems to be for viewing pleasure on a regular basis.... i hate michigan men...... as stereotypical as it sounds its my general consensus....

...im not necessarily interested in dating anyone from work ...

Having read your other posts in other threads, and listing some of the more telling portion above, I return to my original statement.

...This is NOT a sugeon thing. This is a YOU thing...

Happy hollidays

 

[dienekes88]

No real answer for you but a question - if he's not an attending or a resident, what is he?

Maybe he's a fellow. At 46, maybe a super fellow.

 

[pharmacy85]

Couple reasons to point out
- sometimes guys can smell "desperation", especially being a hot surgeon. Comeon, what woman doesnt want a hot surgeon?

- sometimes guys don't want to date women in the medical field, ive heard plenty of times that men like women outside their field because it takes them away from the insanity that is medicine.

- While you may be up to par with his standards physically (ie. being 20 years younger and attractive) maybe you are not mentally (intelligence, sophistication, humorous, maturity)? {again I dont know if you are or are not any of the above Im just throwing options out}

- Maybe he's seeing someone already

- And as a poster said above, maybe he's just not that into you

whatever the answer may be, I suggest you not look for a relationship at the hospital, men are not like fishing, if they see something they like, trust me they will go after it, not the other way around. Just be yourself and when you least expect it an opportunity will present itself. But I doube anything said in an online forum will change Dr.Surgeons mind of you. Good Luck!

(by the way-JackADeli, wow, you are my new favorite person)

 

[GVSUgrad05]

fair enough, you are very right im over it... i suppose it makes perfect sense now that i have had some time to reflect on it....

 

[pharmacy85]

fair enough, you are very right im over it... i suppose it makes perfect sense now that i have had some time to reflect on it....

he may even start giving you attention now that you stopped

 

[Rabbit Hole]

lol JAD

What are the chances this guy reads this forum and has figured out who the OP is with his detective skills. I don't know though, it could be difficult considering he doesn't have much to work with.. picture, age, school & year of graduation, location & occupation.

Regarding the subject matter at hand..
Solution: Send him an email with a link to this thread.

Outcome: He will read it and realize the error of his ways. Since he probably doesn't have your phone number (yet), he will immediately set up an account on SDN in order to post a reply. In that post he will confess that he finds you irresistible but has kept his distance because he is married to surgery and can't cheat on his wife. After a few paragraphs of trying to rationalize his attraction to you, he will ask you out on a date. The venue: hospital cafeteria.. so all your coworkers can see. They will be overcome with jealousy and you will become the most envied nurse in the hospital. More importantly, in his post he will reveal that he is neither a resident or attending. He is the chief of surgery.

 

[Winged Scapula]

lol JAD

What are the chances this guy reads this forum and has figured out who the OP is with his detective skills. I don't know though, it could be difficult considering he doesn't have much to work with.. picture, age, school & year of graduation, location & occupation.

Regarding the subject matter at hand..
Solution: Send him an email with a link to this thread.

Outcome: He will read it and realize the error of his ways. Since he probably doesn't have your phone number (yet), he will immediately set up an account on SDN in order to post a reply. In that post he will confess that he finds you irresistible but has kept his distance because he is married to surgery and can't cheat on his wife. After a few paragraphs of trying to rationalize his attraction to you, he will ask you out on a date. The venue: hospital cafeteria.. so all your coworkers can see. They will be overcome with jealousy and you will become the most envied nurse in the hospital. More importantly, in his post he will reveal that he is neither a resident or attending. He is the chief of surgery.

Fail.

Chief of Surgery = attending.

 

[teddybear]

Most relationships happen when you least expect it.

 

[Rabbit Hole]

Fail.

Chief of Surgery = attending.

Can't get anything past you.
Even he doesn't know what his title is.