Dealing with a break up in the 3rd week of med school

[MommaMD]

---

Members don't see this ad.

I am not sure Momma MD is actually a physician. By her post history she has a son/daughter applying to medical school.

Regardless, she could have gone to medical school thirty years ago if she is a physician. Medical schools are a VERY different place now. Actual advice from medical students is better advice, unless MommaMD is a dean at a medical school. If so, please excuse me.

The assumption that one needs to be a MD or a Medical School Dean to give advice to a heartbroken girl is absolutely absurd. It infers a kind of arrogance that, honestly, doesn't even apply here. At well over 50, I have lots of experience in being a girl, I've raised three children, two of them girls, and I didn't do any of that in a vacuum, learning a lot along the way. Sometimes all a girl needs is a hug and a reality check that "this too shall pass." I don't need to know how to perform a heart transplant to understand what it's like to have or heal a broken heart. As a person with a lot more life experience than any 24 year old, I offered a perspective that was intended to get the OP out of bed and find her self worth (that had been shattered). Her self-esteem should have absolutely nothing to do with a guy who basically was too cowardly to discuss his feelings that had clearly waned. While I am not a fan of Dr. Phil in the least, it is true that you teach people how to treat you... and this girl needs to have much higher standards and should be spending her time getting to know herself independent of anyone else in her life. This guy doesn't define her or her worth, and she needed to hear that first and foremost - independent of an exam or being in medical school.

You would be correct to assume I don't know medical school, but I understand life and relationships. And I think sometimes "acting as if..." is what allows you the courage to seek the help you need. Additionally, helplessness is not something to wear on your sleeve, and experience has shown me that putting out heartache for general consumption is likely not the best course if you really wish to move beyond it. EVERYONE faces struggle and it is my lifelong experience that tells me that it's what you do next that counts. You do not need to have gone to medical school to know any of that. And yes, I have a kid applying to medical school and I will also tell you that despite a 36 mcat and graduating magna cum laude from a top school, he still has a great deal of learning when it comes to life, love and the human condition.

My point is: Don't allow yourself to fall into the trap of being omnipotent just because you're in medical school, or eventually become a doctor. My best doctors are the ones that understand life stressors and show compassion in their bedside manor. It creates trust and mutual respect... something I believe is an imperative for a doctor to have good outcomes for his/her patients.

I suggested the OP use the resources of her school and not run to her professors with what will come off as excuse UNLESS THAT IS THEIR ROLE. And even if that is their role, they will find a lot more respect for her if she is proactive in finding help vs waiting for someone else to do it. I felt she should demonstrate through action that she's recognized she's stumbled but is capable and competent enough to right the ship and continue her journey. If you feel that's bad advice or irrelevant because I am not a 24 year old medical student or even a dean, so be it. Believe me, I am old enough to know that your opinion of me means nothing. And you too will continue to learn and grow. I still contend she dodged a bullet.... and needs to act as if she knows that until it becomes her truth.

 

[Sportsdude89]

At mommaMD will you adopt me?

 

[Goro]

STAT!!!

Seek help from your school's counseling services ASAP.

 

[SouthernSurgeon]

The assumption that one needs to be a MD or a Medical School Dean to give advice to a heartbroken girl is absolutely absurd.

You're absolutely correct about this.

However, the reason people objected was that a very early pharmacy student both derided the sound advice of others (essentially, to seek out resources from the school) and gave unsound advice of their own, and then compounded the situation by overcompensating and aggressively going on the defensive to establish their credentials.

The deans, counselors, etc, are used to dealing with people in emotional distress. I've found that in general they intervene based on the level of emotional distress it is causing the student, not based on a value judgment of what caused said distress.

 

[oldstock]

The assumption that one needs to be a MD or a Medical School Dean to give advice to a heartbroken girl is absolutely absurd. It infers a kind of arrogance that, honestly, doesn't even apply here. At well over 50, I have lots of experience in being a girl, I've raised three children, two of them girls, and I didn't do any of that in a vacuum, learning a lot along the way. Sometimes all a girl needs is a hug and a reality check that "this too shall pass." I don't need to know how to perform a heart transplant to understand what it's like to have or heal a broken heart. As a person with a lot more life experience than any 24 year old, I offered a perspective that was intended to get the OP out of bed and find her self worth (that had been shattered). Her self-esteem should have absolutely nothing to do with a guy who basically was too cowardly to discuss his feelings that had clearly waned. While I am not a fan of Dr. Phil in the least, it is true that you teach people how to treat you... and this girl needs to have much higher standards and should be spending her time getting to know herself independent of anyone else in her life. This guy doesn't define her or her worth, and she needed to hear that first and foremost - independent of an exam or being in medical school.

You would be correct to assume I don't know medical school, but I understand life and relationships. And I think sometimes "acting as if..." is what allows you the courage to seek the help you need. Additionally, helplessness is not something to wear on your sleeve, and experience has shown me that putting out heartache for general consumption is likely not the best course if you really wish to move beyond it. EVERYONE faces struggle and it is my lifelong experience that tells me that it's what you do next that counts. You do not need to have gone to medical school to know any of that. And yes, I have a kid applying to medical school and I will also tell you that despite a 36 mcat and graduating magna cum laude from a top school, he still has a great deal of learning when it comes to life, love and the human condition.

My point is: Don't allow yourself to fall into the trap of being omnipotent just because you're in medical school, or eventually become a doctor. My best doctors are the ones that understand life stressors and show compassion in their bedside manor. It creates trust and mutual respect... something I believe is an imperative for a doctor to have good outcomes for his/her patients.

I suggested the OP use the resources of her school and not run to her professors with what will come off as excuse UNLESS THAT IS THEIR ROLE. And even if that is their role, they will find a lot more respect for her if she is proactive in finding help vs waiting for someone else to do it. I felt she should demonstrate through action that she's recognized she's stumbled but is capable and competent enough to right the ship and continue her journey. If you feel that's bad advice or irrelevant because I am not a 24 year old medical student or even a dean, so be it. Believe me, I am old enough to know that your opinion of me means nothing. And you too will continue to learn and grow. I still contend she dodged a bullet.... and needs to act as if she knows that until it becomes her truth.

@MommaMD : you deserve a PhD for these posts !! And if you were a MD, I am sure you would be a wonderful doctor. I salute you !! 👍👍

 

[Aerus]

He's likely referring to the handful of BS/MD programs that still exist, where you are technically already admitted to med school.

Yeah, but from the way he worded it, it looked like he didn't actually read the fine print and assumed one can start actual medical school after high school. The original discussion about pharmacy schools was that some programs allowed you to matriculate into the program after 2 years of undergrad.

 

[mcloaf]

The assumption that one needs to be a MD or a Medical School Dean to give advice to a heartbroken girl is absolutely absurd.

In so far as the advice concerns the administrative aspects of testing accommodations for emotional distress in medical school credentials are entirely relevant.

I think most reasonable people would agree with what you are saying re: life and emotional advice. Nobody wants to hear what the c/o 2018 pharm student has to say because he has no idea what he's talking about as far as the actual workings of medical school testing.

 

[oldstock]

You're absolutely correct about this.

However, the reason people objected was that a very early pharmacy student both derided the sound advice of others (essentially, to seek out resources from the school) and gave unsound advice of their own, and then compounded the situation by overcompensating and aggressively going on the defensive to establish their credentials.

The deans, counselors, etc, are used to dealing with people in emotional distress. I've found that in general they intervene based on the level of emotional distress it is causing the student, not based on a value judgment of what caused said distress.

you need to read again !! I have never suggested that the OP should not be seeking help. I only said that the OP should not skip the exam like @tiedyeddog sugessted, which is scheduled for today because not taking it will surely give her a ZERO. As it might surprise you, the situation that the OP is in is NOT an emergency and will not be accepted as an excuse for her to reschedule for a makeup exam. She could and should take all the help she could. That is not sound advice to you ??

Also, I was defensive because many went on the attack putting down my credentials and pharmacy's by literally I am a pharmacy student and not premed/med student and pharmacy is undergrad and thus know nothing to give advice to the OP while demonstrating their ignorance and silliness. But they migh not have got their morning coffee yet ?? Hope you will get your cup of coffee soon lol

Like MommaMD put it very well, giving advice here for this situation that the OP is in does NOT take a MD degree or being a premed/med student. It is all common sense !!

Hope the OP come back and update on how she is doing on today's exam and what she plans on doing next...

 

[oldstock]

Yeah, but from the way he worded it, it looked like he didn't actually read the fine print and assumed one can start actual medical school after high school. The original discussion about pharmacy schools was that some programs allowed you to matriculate into the program after 2 years of undergrad.

lol I can understand why you are still premed and in the undergrad.... lol

 

[oldstock]

In so far as the advice concerns the administrative aspects of testing accommodations for emotional distress in medical school credentials are entirely relevant.

I think most reasonable people would agree with what you are saying re: life and emotional advice. Nobody wants to hear what the c/o 2018 pharm student has to say because he has no idea what he's talking about as far as the actual workings of medical school testing.

Dude you need to read MommaMD's posts again. I do have many friends and family members who were and are med students to know the working of medical school testing. But I guess you just wanna pick a fight assuming that you can bully me. Have fun bullying !! 😉

 

[SouthernSurgeon]

which is scheduled for today because not taking it will surely give her a ZERO. As it might surprise you, the situation that the OP is in is NOT an emergency and will not be accepted as an excuse for her to reschedule for a makeup exam.

My point was that you are in a very poor position to make such sweeping absolute statements. Thank you for reinforcing that position.

 

[Aerus]

lol I can understand why you are still premed and in the undergrad.... lol

Yes, it's probably because I haven't completed 4 years of undergrad yet....if I was Pre-Pharm, I could be starting Pharmacy school this year. But I'm sure you already know that.

you need to read again !! I have never suggested that the OP should not be seeking help. I only said that the OP should not skip the exam like @tiedyeddog sugessted, which is scheduled for today because not taking it will surely give her a ZERO. As it might surprise you, the situation that the OP is in is NOT an emergency and will not be accepted as an excuse for her to reschedule for a makeup exam. She could and should take all the help she could. That is not sound advice to you ??

You told the OP to pull an all-nighter and ace the exam. As others have said, you do not pull an all nighter and expect to ace a med school exam if you haven't been studying for it all week. What kind of professional school do you go to where that actually works? And @tiedyeddog didn't tell OP to SKIP the exam. He told OP to talk to the deans in order to try and not take it today. Obviously, whether it works or not is up to the individual school, but seeking advice first from the Deans on what you do before taking the exam is MUCH better thans imply "pulling an all nighter and trying to ace it" when OP hasn't even started studying yet.

Also, I was defensive because many went on the attack putting down my credentials and pharmacy's by literally I am a pharmacy student and not premed/med student and pharmacy is undergrad and thus know nothing to give advice to the OP while demonstrating their ignorance and silliness. But they migh not have got their morning coffee yet ?? Hope you will get your cup of coffee soon lol

Like MommaMD put it very well, giving advice here for this situation that the OP is in does NOT take a MD degree or being a premed/med student. It is all common sense !!

Hope the OP come back and update on how she is doing on today's exam and what she plans on doing next...

No, giving advice about MEDICAL SCHOOL should be done by MEDICAL STUDENTS and people who have been through MEDICAL SCHOOL. You were NOT giving relationship advice, like @MommaMD was. That would have been fine and if you have been through the same thing, you would have been more than qualified to give that sort of advice.

Trying to assess how the administrative portions of medical school work should be done by those who have been through it.

 

[oldstock]

My point was that you are in a very poor position to make such sweeping absolute statements. Thank you for reinforcing that position.

Yes, it's probably because I haven't completed 4 years of undergrad yet....if I was Pre-Pharm, I could be starting Pharmacy school this year. But I'm sure you already know that.



You told the OP to pull an all-nighter and ace the exam. As others have said, you do not pull an all nighter and expect to ace a med school exam if you haven't been studying for it all week. What kind of professional school do you go to where that actually works? And @tiedyeddog didn't tell OP to SKIP the exam. He told OP to talk to the deans in order to try and not take it today. Obviously, whether it works or not is up to the individual school, but seeking advice first from the Deans on what you do before taking the exam is MUCH better thans imply "pulling an all nighter and trying to ace it" when OP hasn't even started studying yet.



No, giving advice about MEDICAL SCHOOL should be done by MEDICAL STUDENTS and people who have been through MEDICAL SCHOOL. You were NOT giving relationship advice, like @MommaMD was. That would have been fine and if you have been through the same thing, you would have been more than qualified to give that sort of advice.

Trying to assess how the administrative portions of medical school work should be done by those who have been through it.

man, this thread has turned too dUmb for me to even try to reply anymore... Have fun guys !! By the way you guys need to learn how to read again as I am not a dude and you keep calling me one LOL 🙂

 

[SouthernSurgeon]

man, this thread has turned too dUmb for me to even try to reply anymore... Have fun guys !! By the way you guys need to learn how to read again as I am not a dude and you keep calling me one LOL 🙂

Actually I used entirely gender neutral pronouns to refer to you. Grammatically incorrect, but gender neutral.

 

[pink/\floyd]

Why can't we all just get along? 🙂
The one person who should be posting here is MIA..So.. I don't think we need to get worked up over it 😀

 

[Aerus]

By the way you guys need to learn how to read again as I am not a dude and you keep calling me one LOL 🙂

You never stated your gender, so I used the standard "he" in order to remain grammatically sound.

man, this thread has turned too dUmb for me to even try to reply anymore... Have fun guys !!

 

[MommaMD]

You're absolutely correct about this.

However, the reason people objected was that a very early pharmacy student both derided the sound advice of others (essentially, to seek out resources from the school) and gave unsound advice of their own, and then compounded the situation by overcompensating and aggressively going on the defensive to establish their credentials.

The deans, counselors, etc, are used to dealing with people in emotional distress. I've found that in general they intervene based on the level of emotional distress it is causing the student, not based on a value judgment of what caused said distress.

In fairness here, the advice wasn't exactly to not seek help from the school's mental health resources. The opinion was she not rely on the chances or possibility of reschedule. It's not I thought that she couldn't/shouldn't ask, because the worst anyone can every tell you in life is "No", but I didn't agree that pulling an all nighter to study for the exam was wise. Showing yourself as capable despite recognizing you need help right now is the mature thing to do. And I certainly agree that the back and forth to establish credibility was a waste of posts... and likely an exercise in diversion and distraction for the posters that went there.

But for all you out there reading along in agreement or dissent (and I offer this with the upmost respect for whatever path you're following): I also want to kindly put out there that further shaming someone who clearly was already feeling shame by calling them weak or underserving of their station in life as some sort of intention to motivate is never a good idea, especially if they are already in a fragile state. While I don't think there was any malicious intent here, and was intended as a "buck up" kind of thing... whether you are in pharma or medicine, shame is something that causes all kinds of problems down the road, including addiction. And that is why it is crucial to find help long before the numbing of emotions becomes the coping mechanism to life's stress. Telling someone to drink away their problems is not the advice I would want anyone taking, especially when the gene pool is involved. 🙂

 

[mcloaf]

Dude you need to read MommaMD's posts again. I do have many friends and family members who were and are med students to know the working of medical school testing. But I guess you just wanna pick a fight assuming that you can bully me. Have fun bullying !! 😉

Your conduct in this thread speaks for itself. If I'd had any desire to interact with you I'd have quoted you.

 

[Aerus]

But for all you out there reading along in agreement or dissent (and I offer this with the upmost respect for whatever path you're following): I also want to kindly put out there that further shaming someone who clearly was already feeling shame by calling them weak or underserving of their station in life as some sort of intention to motivate is never a good idea, especially if they are already in a fragile state. While I don't think there was any malicious intent here, and was intended as a "buck up" kind of thing... whether you are in pharma or medicine, shame is something that causes all kinds of problems down the road, including addiction. And that is why it is crucial to find help long before the numbing of emotions becomes the coping mechanism to life's stress. Telling someone to drink away their problems is not the advice I would want anyone taking, especially when the gene pool is involved. 🙂

I think you misunderstand. Nobody in this thread was saying anything about OP being "weak" or undeserving; in fact, I've only seen the opposite: people praising her for being strong and giving her advice to go seek counseling, as that would be the mature and right thing to do. Everyone here was being the most understanding of such a difficult situation as a tough break up.

Unless you were referring to:

If you are crying blah blah blah over this, you might as well quit med school and give up that seat for someone who is mature enough and capable of handling stress. You are in training to be a doctor for God's sake. If you are weak like this, how would people expect or trust you to save anyone else ??
🙂

That's the only moment where I can find what you were talking about. But, as you can see, nobody in this thread shares her sentiments.

 

[SouthernSurgeon]

In fairness here, the advice wasn't exactly to not seek help from the school's mental health resources. The opinion was she not rely on the chances or possibility of reschedule. It's not I thought that she couldn't/shouldn't ask, because the worst anyone can every tell you in life is "No", but I didn't agree that pulling an all nighter to study for the exam was wise.

I'm aware of what the advice was. The advice was bad, for multiple reasons.

First, an emotionally wrecked individually cramming all night for an exam is going to retain literally nothing. All they are going to do is compound their current emotional troubles by adding exhaustion to the mix.

Second, It's also not an either-or situation - the OP could get answers very quickly about how to proceed (i.e. will they have to take the test or not). In today's day and age you can get in touch with someone even at 6pm on a Sunday. My med school dean even gave his personal cell phone to students in case of emergencies. The one time I had to get in touch with him over a school-related semi-emergency (needlestick) he responded within minutes.

Third, it was bad because it was such an extreme stance (compounded by the poster's defensiveness, which led to her taking even more extreme stances than the original advice). None of us can predict how the school will react. And you are absolutely right that the absolute worst they could do is say no.

 

[MommaMD]

go pull an all nighter (and turn off phone and SDN now 🙂 ) and ace/pass that exam tomorrow. Then go party afterward !! GL and keep us posted !! 🙂

I was just saying that I didn't think oldstock was necessarily giving bad advice when it was suggested that the OP not use a break up as excuse to postpone or reschedule an exam that was the next day. How could you count on that outcome being positive especially with the exam scheduled for the next day? But mostly it was the inferred "you might as well quit med school and open up the spot for someone with a spine" and then "go party afterward" that I felt needed temperance.

Honestly, I think the point of threads on SDN or any other online forum is to seek the opinion and advice of many, and not to just follow one person's advice or vein of thought. She got into medical school for goodness sake! She can surely see that the majority opinion was to seek help if any concern is affecting your daily life and possible performance.

 

[MommaMD]

I'm aware of what the advice was. The advice was bad, for multiple reasons.

First, an emotionally wrecked individually cramming all night for an exam is going to retain literally nothing. All they are going to do is compound their current emotional troubles by adding exhaustion to the mix.

Second, It's also not an either-or situation - the OP could get answers very quickly about how to proceed (i.e. will they have to take the test or not). In today's day and age you can get in touch with someone even at 6pm on a Sunday. My med school dean even gave his personal cell phone to students in case of emergencies. The one time I had to get in touch with him over a school-related semi-emergency (needlestick) he responded within minutes.

Third, it was bad because it was such an extreme stance (compounded by the poster's defensiveness, which led to her taking even more extreme stances than the original advice). None of us can predict how the school will react. And you are absolutely right that the absolute worst they could do is say no.

I had three kids go through undergrad. Not one of their schools has/had the same or in many ways even similar resources for students. I guess I would assume Med Schools are very much the same way. In fact, and this has nothing at all to do with med school per se, but the thing that annoyed me as a parent was that the more selective a school was, it seemed to me the BETTER the resources were for the student. I felt this was somewhat counter intuitive, as they seemed to make it "easier" for the high achiever to seek and find help for a multitude of things vs the kid who maybe struggled sometimes, whether emotionally or academically. Obviously, I don't know jack about med schools but you can trust that if those schools are going to require I financially contribute until my kid is almost 30, I will definitely be doing my research there if only to protect my investment!! 🙂

OK.. peeps.. I've got things to do and like I said, I mostly just lurk so I can better understand the stress my kid is going through and which schools are offering invites, rejections to be as supportive as I can without smothering or bugging. I believe in a well stocked tool box as a parent... and trust me on this one: I don't care how old you get, how competent or successful - as long as your parents are alive, you will always be their child. And there are days that I so wish I could still call my Mom and say.. just listen to me, tell me you have faith in me, and tell me it's all going to be OK.

 

[Aerus]

OK.. peeps.. I've got things to do and like I said, I mostly just lurk so I can better understand the stress my kid is going through and which schools are offering invites, rejections to be as supportive as I can without smothering or bugging. I believe in a well stocked tool box as a parent... and trust me on this one: I don't care how old you get, how competent or successful - as long as your parents are alive, you will always be their child. And there are days that I so wish I could still call my Mom and say.. just listen to me, tell me you have faith in me, and tell me it's all going to be OK.

Thank you for your advice. I wish I realized this when I was a kid. I could have been a better behaved kid, in hindsight.

 

[MommaMD]

Thank you for your advice. I wish I realized this when I was a kid. I could have been a better behaved kid, in hindsight.

Yeah... me too. 🙂 Which is also why my kids have had to always think WAY OUTSIDE THE BOX to get away with anything between their father and myself. Mostly I gave them credit for originality when they did, and mostly I figured it was their job to push back and be independent of their parents. But it was my job to make sure they were always accountable and responsible for their decisions - what's that quote? Something like: Integrity is what you do when no one else is looking. Something like that.

 

[Doctor Strange]

please kindly tell me which pharmacy school does that ?? Thanks lol 🙂

It's common practice among 0-6 PharmD programs.

 

[oldstock]

I was just saying that I didn't think oldstock was necessarily giving bad advice when it was suggested that the OP not use a break up as excuse to postpone or reschedule an exam that was the next day. How could you count on that outcome being positive especially with the exam scheduled for the next day? But mostly it was the inferred "you might as well quit med school and open up the spot for someone with a spine" and then "go party afterward" that I felt needed temperance.

Honestly, I think the point of threads on SDN or any other online forum is to seek the opinion and advice of many, and not to just follow one person's advice or vein of thought. She got into medical school for goodness sake! She can surely see that the majority opinion was to seek help if any concern is affecting your daily life and possible performance.

@MommaMD : it was supposed to be a figure of speech... for "tough love" or something like that... lol But I guess most did not get it... Like you I am old and a working mom with kids + going full time in pharmacy schools as well. The advice I gave the OP would be exactly the same thing I would tell my kids if they've ever got into the same situation.

 

[oldstock]

It's common practice among 0-6 PharmD programs.

please do not say things that you do not know. If you think you know, you name the schools that do that.

 

[Doctor Strange]

please do not say things that you do not know. If you think you know, you name the schools that do that.

I'd like to think that I know what I'm talking about since I went to a pharmacy school and was in U1 and U2 classes with pharmacy students. University of the Sciences and a slew of other schools mix pharm and undergrad students in general bio/chem/orgo classes.

 

[oldstock]

You never stated your gender, so I used the standard "he" in order to remain grammatically sound.

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/thr...ek-of-med-school.1098653/page-2#post-15689495

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/thr...ek-of-med-school.1098653/page-2#post-15689495

dang this is freaking dUmb.... what does that mean to you?


260 × 402 - grimm.wikia.com


but when you ever got to med school, please post so I can congrats you lol 🙂

 

[db4277]

The most useful book I've ever read is available online: http://www.drugsense.org/mcwilliams/www.mcwilliams.com/books/books/sur/sr1.htm

You are alive. You will survive.

 

[oldstock]

I'd like to think that I know what I'm talking about since I went to a pharmacy school and was in U1 and U2 classes with pharmacy students. University of the Sciences and a slew of other schools mix pharm and undergrad students in general bio/chem/orgo classes.

It's common practice among 0-6 PharmD programs.

Were you a pharmacy student ?? This just tells me that you were not.

Yes, in 0-6 (accelerated) PharmD programs, you might take undergrad courses as a pharmacy student. The same thing a "med student" would do if they are admitted to 0-6 or 0-7 BS/MD (accelerated) programs.

Please do not be ignorant. Google is your friend 😉

 

[WillburCobb]

Yes, in 0-6 (accelerated) PharmD programs, you might take undergrad courses as a pharmacy student. The same thing a "med student" would do if they are admitted to 0-6 or 0-7 BS/MD (accelerated) programs.

Please do not be ignorant. Google is your friend 😉

I think you should heed your own advice.

 

[tiedyeddog]

In so far as the advice concerns the administrative aspects of testing accommodations for emotional distress in medical school credentials are entirely relevant.

I think most reasonable people would agree with what you are saying re: life and emotional advice. Nobody wants to hear what the c/o 2018 pharm student has to say because he has no idea what he's talking about as far as the actual workings of medical school testing.

Exactly. I am not doubting anyone's advice about getting over a breakup. In fact, I have zero advice on that topic.

Instead, I have advice on how to try and not mess up someone's medical school career. I am sorry but if you are not or have not been in medical school then you shouldn't be commenting on he support system that deans have in place. It is often a more supportive environment than you are thinking.

Think of it this way. I have never been a mom. mommamd is a mom. I am not going to give advice about being a mom because I have not lived that experience. I would expect she could give decent advice about being a mom. Now flip roles with me being in medical school and mommamd not being in medical school. That is my point.

 

[oldstock]

I think you should heed your own advice.

look dude, I do not know that you do not know or too lazy too know or that you are simply never be the person who is on top of things. So let me do the Google for you and the audience here on this BS/MD subject bc you were the 1st to bring it up. Take this example,

"A joint program between GW's Columbian College of Arts and Sciences and the School of Medicine and Health Sciences, the Seven-Year B.A./M.D. Program is designed for students who have decided to become physicians and want to accomplish that goal in a shorter amount of time than a traditional program of study usually requires.


The perfect candidates for the Seven-Year B.A./M.D. Program are top students who know, prior to entering college, that they wish to become doctors but also are attracted to the intellectual challenge and enrichment afforded by the liberal arts.


During the first three years of the program, a student must meet all general curriculum requirements and complete a major in the Columbian College of Arts and Sciences. Progress is reviewed annually by a special faculty committee. The student must maintain a minimum grade of B in courses required for admission to the medical school and an overall 3.6 grade point average. In addition, community service is required each year. The review committee makes a final recommendation concerning promotion to the medical school curriculum at the end of the third year, which is when the bachelor's degree is awarded upon successful completion of degree requirements.


In the fourth year, the student enrolls in the School of Medicine and Health Sciences and begins formal medical training. The integration of preclinical and clinical studies becomes more complete in the fifth year as time is spent with physicians, learning the art and skill of patient interviewing and physical diagnosis. The sixth and seventh years are devoted to developing clinical expertise in the wide variety of hospitals in the Washington metropolitan area, including the state-of-the-art GW Hospital. The M.D. degree is awarded at the end of the seventh year.


Students enrolled in the Seven-Year B.A./M.D. Program pay the undergraduate fixed-rate tuition for the first three years of their program. After the third year, B.A./M.D. students pay the prevailing tuition of the School of Medicine and Health Sciences for medical students at the time of enrollment in medical school courses."

http://undergraduate.admissions.gwu.edu/seven-year-bamd

the part I underlined here means the "med students" in this program are taking undergraduate classes to fulfill the academic requirements for their BA portion. Note that those students who got accepted to these types of programs are extremely bright and qualified. They do not need to have a bachelor degree to prove their academic excellence. Or they need place replacements to boost their GPAs (or even MCAT) for their medical school acceptance.

I also know this for a fact because one of my brothers (already graduated and finished his residency) and one of my friends got accepted and went through this accelerated BA/MD program at GWU. They took undergraduate courses in the same classrooms with other undergrad students.


So look, if you are trying to say that my advice to the OP is bad, you should try again and not attack my credentials or pharmacy 😉

 

[tiedyeddog]

please do not say things that you do not know. If you think you know, you name the schools that do that.

Ironic you say this.

 

[oldstock]

Ironic you say this.

look tieddog, I am tired too.... lol 🙂

 

[MommaMD]

As someone who has had long dealings with people in recovery - I have never found "tough love" to be particularly loving, especially when dealing with someone in extreme pain and, I might add, in the midst of seeking help (albeit on an online forum). I will also fully admit that I was/am an extremely over-educated stay at home mom, even though my kids are now (mostly) completely grown. (which is also why my very first post mentioned that life is a compromise and how much of yourself are you willing to give up to build a life with another). I am very proud of my life's work... very. And I've used every bit of my education along the way, even if I don't have a medical degree or w-2 to prove it.

But here's the thing... why is there so much defensiveness going on here as if education or the attending institution gives you credibility? Additionally, having experience at one UG and one Med School (that may or may not offer similar or equal resources to the OP), does not an expert on medical school make. But I will also admit that I would be less likely to listen to class registration advice from someone at community college vs someone at a four year institution. And I would not suggest getting advice about a private liberal arts school from someone who has only ever attended a large in state university. Apples and oranges. We have no clue if this girls is attending Harvard or Podunk state! And frankly, it does not matter at this point.

But seriously... Oldstock. Take a chill!! You are being condescending and that, in and of itself is unlikely to get you a positive response either! I get you may be defensive of your experience and I truly saw nothing in your advice to the OP that warranted the reaction you got. BUT you are definitely needing to step away from the keyboard now and show some restraint in proving you're right. Nothing positive can come from continuing this barrage of postings.

As for me, I am out and just hoping the OP will post to say she is fine, and all is well. In the end, isn't that what's important here?

 

[WillburCobb]

look dude, I do not know that you do not know or too lazy too know or that you are simply never be the person who is on top of things. So let me do the Google for you and the audience here on this BS/MD subject bc you were the 1st to bring it up. Take this example,

"A joint program between GW's Columbian College of Arts and Sciences and the School of Medicine and Health Sciences, the Seven-Year B.A./M.D. Program is designed for students who have decided to become physicians and want to accomplish that goal in a shorter amount of time than a traditional program of study usually requires.


The perfect candidates for the Seven-Year B.A./M.D. Program are top students who know, prior to entering college, that they wish to become doctors but also are attracted to the intellectual challenge and enrichment afforded by the liberal arts.


During the first three years of the program, a student must meet all general curriculum requirements and complete a major in the Columbian College of Arts and Sciences. Progress is reviewed annually by a special faculty committee. The student must maintain a minimum grade of B in courses required for admission to the medical school and an overall 3.6 grade point average. In addition, community service is required each year. The review committee makes a final recommendation concerning promotion to the medical school curriculum at the end of the third year, which is when the bachelor's degree is awarded upon successful completion of degree requirements.


In the fourth year, the student enrolls in the School of Medicine and Health Sciences and begins formal medical training. The integration of preclinical and clinical studies becomes more complete in the fifth year as time is spent with physicians, learning the art and skill of patient interviewing and physical diagnosis. The sixth and seventh years are devoted to developing clinical expertise in the wide variety of hospitals in the Washington metropolitan area, including the state-of-the-art GW Hospital. The M.D. degree is awarded at the end of the seventh year.


Students enrolled in the Seven-Year B.A./M.D. Program pay the undergraduate fixed-rate tuition for the first three years of their program. After the third year, B.A./M.D. students pay the prevailing tuition of the School of Medicine and Health Sciences for medical students at the time of enrollment in medical school courses."

http://undergraduate.admissions.gwu.edu/seven-year-bamd

the part I underlined here means the "med students" in this program are taking undergraduate classes to fulfill the academic requirements for their BA portion. Note that those students who got accepted to these types of programs are extremely bright and qualified. They do not need to have a bachelor degree to prove their academic excellence. Or they need place replacements to boost their GPAs (or even MCAT) for their medical school acceptance.

I also know this for a fact because one of my brothers (already graduated and finished his residency) and one of my friends got accepted and went through this accelerated BA/MD program at GWU. They took undergraduate courses in the same classrooms with other undergrad students.


So look, if you are trying to say that my advice to the OP is bad, you should try again and not attack my credentials or pharmacy 😉

I realize this, but once you're a med student your classes are with just med students, unlike pharmacy where as a first or second year you will still take some classes with undergrad students. This has absolutely nothing to do with OP's initial post so if you really feel the need to continue this argument feel free to PM me.

 

[oldstock]

As someone who has had long dealings with people in recovery - I have never found "tough love" to be particularly loving, especially when dealing with someone in extreme pain and, I might add, in the midst of seeking help (albeit on an online forum). I will also fully admit that I was/am an extremely over-educated stay at home mom, even though my kids are now (mostly) completely grown. (which is also why my very first post mentioned that life is a compromise and how much of yourself are you willing to give up to build a life with another). I am very proud of my life's work... very. And I've used every bit of my education along the way, even if I don't have a medical degree or w-2 to prove it.

But here's the thing... why is there so much defensiveness going on here as if education or the attending institution gives you credibility? Additionally, having experience at one UG and one Med School (that may or may not offer similar or equal resources to the OP), does not an expert on medical school make. But I will also admit that I would be less likely to listen to class registration advice from someone at community college vs someone at a four year institution. And I would not suggest getting advice about a private liberal arts school from someone who has only ever attended a large in state university. Apples and oranges. We have no clue if this girls is attending Harvard or Podunk state! And frankly, it does not matter at this point.

But seriously... Oldstock. Take a chill!! You are being condescending and that, in and of itself is unlikely to get you a positive response either! I get you may be defensive of your experience and I truly saw nothing in your advice to the OP that warranted the reaction you got. BUT you are definitely needing to step away from the keyboard now and show some restraint in proving you're right. Nothing positive can come from continuing this barrage of postings.

As for me, I am out and just hoping the OP will post to say she is fine, and all is well. In the end, isn't that what's important here?

very well said !! 👍👍

I realize this, but once you're a med student your classes are with just med students, unlike pharmacy where as a first or second year you will still take some classes with undergrad students. This has absolutely nothing to do with OP's initial post so if you really feel the need to continue this argument feel free to PM me.

you are wrong about this and wrong about using this false assumption to discredit my advice to the OP. But you are right that we should take this outside and not derail the OP's original thread. Thank you for this more balanced and fair response and I will def PM you later !!

 

[MommaMD]

BTW - Why aren't you all in class or studying?? (Says the mom who still has one in UG and paying hefty tuition bills that are likely to last for the next billion years)

And now that I am up to 14 posts..... 🙂

 

[oldstock]

BTW - Why aren't you all in class or studying?? (Says the mom who still has one in UG and paying hefty tuition bills that are likely to last for the next billion years)

And now that I am up to 14 posts..... 🙂

great question 🙂

For me, I have all done with my classes this afternoon. And eating my lunch at the moment. With my study and work schedule, SDN is my source of entertainment (hint: too much drama lol). But I should turn this off now and start studying 😉

 

[tiedyeddog]

BTW - Why aren't you all in class or studying?? (Says the mom who still has one in UG and paying hefty tuition bills that are likely to last for the next billion years)

And now that I am up to 14 posts..... 🙂

Why exactly are you on SDN again? Are you applying to medical school soon?

 

[Rady Ruck]

Following this thread, you (MommaMD) remind me of a former non-trad classmate...I swear if you had a different number of kids then you might be the same person. Your children are lucky to have you!

To OP, if you're still here...hang in there. Lots of this advice, especially the blunt ones, are easier to dish out to others than to practice in real life. I've been there before, and can empathize with how terrible it feels to lose someone. Open those books and take it one day at a time. You got this far, keep going!

 

[snowys435]

Hi guys,

sorry about being mia. I spent the rest of yesterday crying and in bed still Went to my exam today. Got a 73 on written and 72 on dry lab. We had a wet practical too for which we don't get our grades till friday...hopefully I did well enough to pass overall. The weights are 50 % 25% 25% respectively. Hoping for the best. Still not doing great. Feel at rock bottom. I haven't gotten anything less than an A my whole life so I feel like things can't get much worse I guess. I'm in a lot of pain emotionally and worst care scenario was that it was going to screw me over for school which it did. sigh. I don't think its possible to feel worse.

Going to go to counseling tomorrow but not sure how that's going to help. I'm a pretty self aware person and I understand all these things but its really hard to stop feeling that way and implement them. But i'll go anyways. I'm not sure if I should be speaking with any dean or anything either. I have a scholarship so idk if this will be a red flag for me.

Sigh. I still dont know how im going to get myself to do anything starting tomorrow. I keep fighting the urge to contact him and going back to the dysfunctional way things were. But I try to remind myself that he really wasn't giving me the time of day. We went weeks or a month without talking at times. He got vacation and booked tickets for a trip and when I asked about it he said he assumed i would be too busy with school when the truth is be probably just didnt even want to visit me. I keep trying to remind myself of all the terrible things but it's still hard to truly believe that he didn't care about me and what we had was terrible.

 

[moisne]

Hi guys,

sorry about being mia. I spent the rest of yesterday crying and in bed still Went to my exam today. Got a 73 on written and 72 on dry lab. We had a wet practical too for which we don't get our grades till friday...hopefully I did well enough to pass overall. The weights are 50 % 25% 25% respectively. Hoping for the best. Still not doing great. Feel at rock bottom. I haven't gotten anything less than an A my whole life so I feel like things can't get much worse I guess. I'm in a lot of pain emotionally and worst care scenario was that it was going to screw me over for school which it did. sigh. I don't think its possible to feel worse.

Going to go to counseling tomorrow but not sure how that's going to help. I'm a pretty self aware person and I understand all these things but its really hard to stop feeling that way and implement them. But i'll go anyways. I'm not sure if I should be speaking with any dean or anything either. I have a scholarship so idk if this will be a red flag for me.

Sigh. I still dont know how im going to get myself to do anything starting tomorrow. I keep fighting the urge to contact him and going back to the dysfunctional way things were. But I try to remind myself that he really wasn't giving me the time of day. We went weeks or a month without talking at times. He got vacation and booked tickets for a trip and when I asked about it he said he assumed i would be too busy with school when the truth is be probably just didnt even want to visit me. I keep trying to remind myself of all the terrible things but it's still hard to truly believe that he didn't care about me and what we had was terrible.

70 for pass!!!!!

Congrats!

You can try to honor next course.

 

[DermViser]

Hi guys,

sorry about being mia. I spent the rest of yesterday crying and in bed still Went to my exam today. Got a 73 on written and 72 on dry lab. We had a wet practical too for which we don't get our grades till friday...hopefully I did well enough to pass overall. The weights are 50 % 25% 25% respectively. Hoping for the best. Still not doing great. Feel at rock bottom. I haven't gotten anything less than an A my whole life so I feel like things can't get much worse I guess. I'm in a lot of pain emotionally and worst care scenario was that it was going to screw me over for school which it did. sigh. I don't think its possible to feel worse.

Going to go to counseling tomorrow but not sure how that's going to help. I'm a pretty self aware person and I understand all these things but its really hard to stop feeling that way and implement them. But i'll go anyways. I'm not sure if I should be speaking with any dean or anything either. I have a scholarship so idk if this will be a red flag for me.

Sigh. I still dont know how im going to get myself to do anything starting tomorrow. I keep fighting the urge to contact him and going back to the dysfunctional way things were. But I try to remind myself that he really wasn't giving me the time of day. We went weeks or a month without talking at times. He got vacation and booked tickets for a trip and when I asked about it he said he assumed i would be too busy with school when the truth is be probably just didnt even want to visit me. I keep trying to remind myself of all the terrible things but it's still hard to truly believe that he didn't care about me and what we had was terrible.

Get counseling. Luckily you have family very close by. Trust me, people lose their relationships all the time esp. the beginning of med school. I agree a lot with the advice above, esp. MommyMD. Nip it inthe bud now. It's obvious that the relationship wouldn't have lasted regardless of medical school or not.

 

[lmn]

70 for pass!!!!!

Congrats!

You can try to honor next course.

70 isn't necessarily a pass, but I agree that OP did a good job while stressed out due to her breakup.

Good job OP, you managed to pull of a fairly decent grade while completely stressed out, if you were able to pull off a passing (or at least a near passing) grade in anatomy through that, you definitely can do much better once things start getting better. You can perform even under huge combined stressors, you deserve to be in med school and you CAN and ARE doing it. Don't worry, you can pull up your grade next test, life tried to trip you up but you're still on your feet and moving forward, be proud of yourself for that.

 

[Ailleurs]

Hi guys,

sorry about being mia. I spent the rest of yesterday crying and in bed still Went to my exam today. Got a 73 on written and 72 on dry lab. We had a wet practical too for which we don't get our grades till friday...hopefully I did well enough to pass overall. The weights are 50 % 25% 25% respectively. Hoping for the best. Still not doing great. Feel at rock bottom. I haven't gotten anything less than an A my whole life so I feel like things can't get much worse I guess. I'm in a lot of pain emotionally and worst care scenario was that it was going to screw me over for school which it did. sigh. I don't think its possible to feel worse.

Going to go to counseling tomorrow but not sure how that's going to help. I'm a pretty self aware person and I understand all these things but its really hard to stop feeling that way and implement them. But i'll go anyways. I'm not sure if I should be speaking with any dean or anything either. I have a scholarship so idk if this will be a red flag for me.

Sigh. I still dont know how im going to get myself to do anything starting tomorrow. I keep fighting the urge to contact him and going back to the dysfunctional way things were. But I try to remind myself that he really wasn't giving me the time of day. We went weeks or a month without talking at times. He got vacation and booked tickets for a trip and when I asked about it he said he assumed i would be too busy with school when the truth is be probably just didnt even want to visit me. I keep trying to remind myself of all the terrible things but it's still hard to truly believe that he didn't care about me and what we had was terrible.

You think that you don't know how to get going, but we as humans are designed to overcome tremendous obstacles. I'm not trying to bs you, but it's absolutely true. You know that trick of "faking confidence til you make it?" Repeat to yourself over and over (and I mean over) how bad he was for you and that you are GLAD (yes do it!) that he's out of your life. Do it whenever you feel the emotional waves come over you. It's helped me several times. And as dermviser (quoted below) pointed out, you have family close by. Go visit them A LOT. They can be the loving blanket that you need. See/talk to friends as well. I know time constraints...but it's best to get as much support as you can.

Get counseling. Luckily you have family very close by. Trust me, people lose their relationships all the time esp. the beginning of med school. I agree a lot with the advice above, esp. MommyMD. Nip it inthe bud now. It's obvious that the relationship wouldn't have lasted regardless of medical school or not.

 

[ciestar]

I'd like to think that I know what I'm talking about since I went to a pharmacy school and was in U1 and U2 classes with pharmacy students. University of the Sciences and a slew of other schools mix pharm and undergrad students in general bio/chem/orgo classes.

I can say for a fact that USP still does this.

 

[alpinism]

Hi guys,

sorry about being mia. I spent the rest of yesterday crying and in bed still Went to my exam today. Got a 73 on written and 72 on dry lab. We had a wet practical too for which we don't get our grades till friday...hopefully I did well enough to pass overall. The weights are 50 % 25% 25% respectively. Hoping for the best. Still not doing great. Feel at rock bottom. I haven't gotten anything less than an A my whole life so I feel like things can't get much worse I guess. I'm in a lot of pain emotionally and worst care scenario was that it was going to screw me over for school which it did. sigh. I don't think its possible to feel worse.

Going to go to counseling tomorrow but not sure how that's going to help. I'm a pretty self aware person and I understand all these things but its really hard to stop feeling that way and implement them. But i'll go anyways. I'm not sure if I should be speaking with any dean or anything either. I have a scholarship so idk if this will be a red flag for me.

Sigh. I still dont know how im going to get myself to do anything starting tomorrow. I keep fighting the urge to contact him and going back to the dysfunctional way things were. But I try to remind myself that he really wasn't giving me the time of day. We went weeks or a month without talking at times. He got vacation and booked tickets for a trip and when I asked about it he said he assumed i would be too busy with school when the truth is be probably just didnt even want to visit me. I keep trying to remind myself of all the terrible things but it's still hard to truly believe that he didn't care about me and what we had was terrible.

Try to study with classmates. Helps to keep your mind from wandering. Who knows, you might also make some new friends or find someone with really cheesy jokes that'll make you laugh.

Also, go out with friends. You probably don't feel like it but its a lot easier to get through tough breakups if you have people to talk to instead of sitting alone in your apartment.